# Chapter 18
“…This is uncomfortable.”
“I’m fine with it.”
“No, I’m the one who’s uncomfortable.”
Why should he consider living in the same house with someone he’d met less than a month ago? It’s not like he had no money. Not much, but still.
At Dohyun’s firm refusal, Haegang looked at him and spoke.
“It’s for managing Esper Baek Dohyun.”
“I don’t see what me entering Guide Choi Haegang’s home has to do with managing me. Besides, you don’t need to manage me.”
“I find it difficult to watch my exclusive Esper lose control because they can’t manage their own energy.”
Dohyun shook his head, wondering if Haegang was referring to the nosebleed incident on the day they signed the contract.
“I wasn’t that sick…”
“I’m not just talking about that time.”
Haegang touched his forehead as if he had a headache. Then he temporarily parked the car on a road with little traffic, reached his hand out to Dohyun, and briefly touched the back of his hand.
“Over the past 2-3 days, a tremendous amount of Vigor has been flowing out when I Guide Esper Baek Dohyun. That means your body is in need of Guiding.”
“Me?”
“Yes.”
This was a change in his body that Dohyun was completely unaware of. He had always been rather insensitive to fatigue or pain, so he hadn’t realized his condition was deteriorating.
“Then I can just get Guiding when I go to the guild.”
“You don’t think I know you’re planning to postpone training for a while?”
“……”
Struck at his core, Dohyun couldn’t respond. Haegang let out a short sigh.
“You think I’m not uncomfortable living with someone else?”
“You just said you were fine with it.”
“I said I was fine, not that I wasn’t uncomfortable.”
That’s the same thing. The urge to argue rose to his throat, but Dohyun deliberately suppressed it. Being an adult, he wouldn’t have trouble getting into accommodations anyway. Dohyun was about to say he’d rather spend money than live uncomfortably, that he’d attend the guild regularly so there was no need to worry, when Haegang’s next words changed his mind.
“It would look bad for me.”
“…Look bad?”
“Esper Baek Dohyun. How old are you?”
“…Twenty.”
“Yes. You’ve just become an adult. And you’re an Esper. People generally think Awakened individuals have a lot of money. But when a fire breaks out at the home of a twenty-year-old Esper with no guardian or family, and they’re moving from one accommodation to another with nowhere to go, what do you think others will think?”
“Ah…”
“I don’t want my reputation tarnished.”
He meant to preemptively block any situation where others might gossip. But would the rumor of them living together be okay? Just as Dohyun was about to raise an objection, Haegang sneered.
“Or is it that you don’t want to live in the home of someone whose Guiding you don’t like?”
That topic again. Dohyun gave up trying to clear the misunderstanding. He didn’t know how long Haegang would milk this, especially while conveniently omitting his own mistake. Seeing Dohyun’s gaze shift, whether he noticed it or not, Haegang drove the point home.
“I won’t take any money, so do as I say. If you’re really uncomfortable, you can pay me back later when you receive more allowances.”
That was it. Haegang was adamant, and they arrived at the guild right after, so there was no chance to continue the conversation.
❖ ❖ ❖
After hearing Dohyun’s story, the Guild Leader blinked before bursting into laughter again. What could possibly be so funny?
“What’s so amusing, Guild Leader…?”
Could you let me know too? At Dohyun’s voice, the Guild Leader, who had been laughing for a while, looked up.
“Wow, Esper Baek Dohyun. How did you manage to butter up that Guide Choi Haegang?”
“Excuse me…?”
“No, it’s just that he’s famous for being extremely prickly toward Espers~. It’s widely known that he doesn’t like Espers.”
“…It’s known?”
Having no knowledge of this, Dohyun turned to Chan, who made an “ah” sound like he’d just realized something.
“Ah, I’m sorry, Guild Leader. I’ll give you the information I found later. About why Guide Choi Haegang dislikes Espers. I was delayed a bit making some modifications.”
“You can take your time.”
Dohyun didn’t think it was particularly necessary. Even if it wasn’t widely known, after spending this much time with Haegang, it would be stranger not to know that he disliked Espers. Every word he uttered clearly showed his annoyance.
“Actually, I was surprised when he said he’d take you to the Association. But then he explained everything in the car, waited for you, brought you here when something happened. He’s concerned about your life situation, isn’t he?”
To call that showing concern seemed absurd. Haegang had clearly said it was about managing potential rampancy and his reputation. When Dohyun objected, saying there was no way that was true, the Guild Leader shook his head.
“Each Guide has their own tendencies… Some are occasionally more tolerant toward their exclusive Espers. I didn’t know Guide Choi Haegang had that side to him.”
Just as Espers had different attitudes toward Guides, Guides also showed different faces to Espers. Typically, Guides had a sense of mission to reduce an Esper’s risk of rampancy. Because of this, they were extremely sensitive to an Esper’s condition.
But occasionally, there were people whose sensitivity seemed relatively weaker. They were like Haegang, who performed Guiding according to a set schedule rather than observing the Esper’s condition.
“Guide Choi Haegang is excellent. But his excellence isn’t in his mindset as a Guide, but rather in his grade, judgment, and abilities, so he doesn’t receive proper evaluation. I’m an Esper too, so I don’t fully understand a Guide’s position, but it’s a proven fact that the more a Guide cares for their Esper, the more effective the Guiding becomes. But Guide Choi Haegang is the type who does it only because he has to, so there have always been troubles even when he’s had exclusive Espers before.”
“I actually find it more comfortable having set times.”
He didn’t know such things were necessary for Guiding, but hearing this, he thought it must be uncomfortable for the Guide too. However, someone like Haegang was perfect for Dohyun. Guiding at fixed times, mechanically conducted without excessive familiarity. No need to get close, no need to develop any closeness.
That was probably because Haegang didn’t think much of Dohyun as an Esper, but if Dohyun had to receive Guiding from a Guide who cared for Espers as the Guild Leader described, it would have been unbearably burdensome.
“Well… Esper Dohyun is a bit unusual…”
“I’m ordinary.”
At Dohyun’s words, the Guild Leader smiled slightly before firmly shaking his head. Well, what could be ordinary about an Esper who didn’t know his ability? As Dohyun sank into self-deprecation, the Guild Leader shook his head again.
“Ordinary? Then let me ask you this~. Esper Dohyun, how does it feel when you receive Guiding?”
“Guiding…? From Guide Choi Haegang?”
“From Guide Choi Haegang, and from others too.”
Dohyun tried to recall the feeling of receiving Guiding. It was like a slight easing of discomfort he hadn’t even been conscious of, feeling both peaceful and refreshed. It was comfortable.
At the same time, it was uncomfortable in a way. It might be because Haegang had a bad image from the start. But he had felt the same with other Guides from whom he had briefly received Guiding. His body and mind felt refreshed, but his heart was uncomfortable.
After hesitating, Dohyun told the truth.
“It’s uncomfortable. A bit…”
“That’s what’s unusual. Almost no Espers feel uncomfortable receiving Guiding. Even if the first meeting goes badly, things usually smooth over after Guiding. The person might be uncomfortable, but there’s no way Guiding would be uncomfortable for an Esper.”
“Ah…”
“It’s probably because of Esper Dohyun’s personality. And your upbringing might play a role too. Chan mentioned you prefer limited social interactions?”
“Why would he talk about such…”
Other people only find Guiding comfortable? It was hard to believe. When he first received Guiding and his physical condition improved, he did feel good, but Dohyun couldn’t just accept it positively. The fact that a stranger could control his state was too disconcerting.
That’s why the existence of Guides was uncomfortable. Even his own body, which had manifested as an Esper, was frustrating. Dohyun had a significantly low level of satisfaction with himself as an Esper.
“Anyway~. It seems like he’s opened up a bit because of your situation?”
“From the first time we met, our relationship was mess… I mean, we didn’t get along.”
“But that’s why you didn’t particularly want to receive more Guiding, right?”
“Well, that’s…”
“You didn’t particularly think you lacked Guiding, so you didn’t request it first.”
Is that so? Dohyun thought about the Guiding he’d received over the past two weeks and nodded. He had never requested it even once, and it was always Haegang, the Guide, who extended his hand first. Was it because he had a nosebleed during the first Guiding? No. According to the Guild Leader, Haegang provided Guiding purely because he could do it on his own terms.
“If it’s really necessary, you can take out a loan. You’re an S-class Esper.”
“Since I don’t even know my ability, I wouldn’t be able to repay a loan.”
Dohyun stated firmly. If he knew even the slightest ability, he could try to do something with it, but he couldn’t just take out a loan when he didn’t know what his ability was or when he would find out. He thought of his three friends, but they all lived with their families, so he couldn’t impose on them. He wasn’t shameless enough to ask friends who were just entering university.
Throughout high school, even while struggling with poverty, he had never asked anyone to buy him even a convenience store triangle kimbap. How could he mention something like this? Even if Chan was from a wealthy family, he probably hadn’t received a proper salary yet, having been employed for only a short time.
No matter how he looked at it, Haegang’s offer was indeed a good opportunity. But…
“…Do you think it’s okay for me to go into that house?”
Dohyun made a tearful face.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
