# Chapter 55
Ha Suan refused to let me go after I declined his offer to hang out and insisted on giving me a ride in his car. I found myself helplessly guided by his surprisingly strong grip and ended up sitting in the passenger seat.
“When you’re feeling down, being alone only makes it worse.”
It seemed Ha Suan had no intention of letting me go. I reluctantly fastened my seatbelt. He was right that being alone would probably make me feel worse. Sitting in a cramped room pathetically sniffling was definitely worse than meeting anyone. But that didn’t erase the scene I had witnessed earlier…
“So what are we going to do for fun?”
I deliberately started a conversation with Ha Suan to prevent tears from welling up again. He lightly drummed his fingers on the smooth steering wheel.
“Hmm. How about watching a movie? Is there anything you want to see?”
“A movie? You mean going to a theater?”
“Yeah.”
I scratched my cheek, feeling somewhat awkward and uncomfortable. For me, movie theaters were places I could only visit for group outings from the orphanage or when I really wanted to see something and made a big decision to go. Living day-to-day, movies—especially in theaters—were practically a luxury for me. Because of that, I had never thought about making plans with someone specifically to go see a movie.
“I dragged you out, so I’ll pay for the tickets.”
Seeing me troubled by his sudden proposal, Ha Suan kept dangling tempting bait to convince me.
“Want popcorn too? I’ll buy that as well…”
“Do you have money to burn? You keep offering to pay for everything. Fine, let’s go see a movie. Let’s go.”
I let out a hollow laugh and leaned my head against the car window. The thought of sitting side by side in a dark theater for about two hours felt somewhat uncomfortable, but Ha Suan’s effort to cheer me up was commendable, and I couldn’t bring myself to refuse.
The movie theater was quiet on this weekday before noon. While I felt a small excitement visiting a theater for the first time in nearly five years, I was still troubled by thoughts of Heerim that kept invading my mind at every opportunity.
Even now, as I waited for Ha Suan who was buying tickets at the kiosk, I found myself thinking about Heerim.
Was he secretly looking for a new Guide because I only agreed to Guiding him for one year? There was still a long way to go before that year was up, so why already…? Did he truly no longer need me? And what about when he said he liked me? Surely that wasn’t a lie?
“Jaeo!”
“Huh? Oh.”
“Why are you standing there in a daze? I found something starting right away and bought tickets. We need to go to Theater 4. Is an action movie okay? They say it’s the most popular one right now.”
“Yeah…”
The movie Ha Suan had chosen was an action thriller that was currently number one at the North American box office. I tried not to think about Heerim as I followed Ha Suan into the theater.
Perhaps because of the awkward showtime, there weren’t many people in the theater. We found our reserved seats with the help of the dim emergency lights installed in the floor.
“Just try not to think about anything and focus on the movie for now.”
It must have been obvious that my mind was elsewhere. I gave Ha Suan a faint smile and nodded, then after some consideration, I turned off my phone completely. Otherwise, I’d probably spend the entire movie clutching it, waiting for a message from Heerim.
“Thank you.”
I muttered my thanks to Ha Suan, and he flashed a smile before turning his attention to the screen. Though I’d been dragged here on a whim, I was genuinely grateful to him for caring about me. He didn’t pry into why I had been crying and was even taking me to a movie just to cheer me up. This made me realize what having a friend truly meant. If not for Ha Suan, I would probably be alone at home right now, crying endlessly and wallowing in misery.
Soon, the soft lights illuminating the theater went out completely, and the large screen lit up.
The movie began with an impressive spectacle of a tall building being blown up. The protagonist was a special agent deployed to a terrorist scene. While rescuing people from the chaotic site, he was caught in a secondary explosion. As the protagonist lost consciousness, the screen transitioned to the opening sequence.
With the enormous screen filling my vision and the powerful sound making my heart race, I was quickly immersed in the film despite being only at the beginning. Thanks to that, I was able to avoid thinking about Heerim during the slightly over two-hour runtime.
“Are you feeling better now?”
Ha Suan chuckled as he saw me still fixated on the screen while the end credits rolled, lost in the afterglow of the movie. I reflexively turned my head to look at him, and he had an expression that suggested he already knew the answer without me saying anything. This annoyed me slightly, so I left the theater quickly without responding.
“I’m a bit hungry. Right?”
Ha Suan, who had already caught up to me, rubbed his stomach. Come to think of it, I hadn’t eaten anything since morning. With so many events passing by like lightning in the past few hours, I hadn’t even realized I was hungry.
“It’s already two o’clock. Late, but want to get some food? My treat.”
“Hey. Someone might think I’m a freeloader. I’ll pay for the meal.”
“You will?”
Ha Suan smiled brightly as if he had been waiting for this. I had said it because I felt uncomfortable with him constantly trying to spend money on me, but somehow I felt like I’d fallen into his trap. Still, it wasn’t bad to hang out with a friend instead of crying my heart out on a day when I really wanted to cry.
***
“Ah. I’m dizzy.”
“Dizzy?”
“Yeah. I’ve never drunk this much before…”
The pleasant warmth of alcohol heated my body. Although I had long exceeded my limit, I continued to drink every time Ha Suan refilled my empty glass.
How did it come to this?
The trouble started when I couldn’t refuse Ha Suan’s suggestion to take a walk after we finished eating at a Thai noodle restaurant near the theater.
During our walk, while chatting about various things, I casually mentioned that I’d never been to a department store before, and Ha Suan immediately dragged me to one.
The department store, which I had thought only sold expensive luxury items, was a wonderland with plenty of food and attractions, unlike what I had imagined. We spent nearly two hours just exploring the electronics section looking at new products. Before we knew it, it was evening, and Ha Suan suggested having a few drinks since it would be a shame to part ways now. What started as just one drink led to one bottle, then two… and more.
“You’ve never had drinks with anyone else?”
“I drank with coworkers at company dinners when I was doing part-time jobs. But I never really liked drinking, so I just ate meat during those times.”
Under the influence of alcohol, words I didn’t need to say kept spilling out. Fortunately, I wasn’t completely drunk yet, as I had no difficulty forming sentences—though my pronunciation was slightly slurred. Ha Suan, on the other hand, appeared perfectly fine. He seemed to have a high tolerance, since he had drunk at least as much as I had, if not more.
I munched on chicken nuggets we had ordered as a side dish while looking at Ha Suan.
Looking closely now, his slightly downturned eyes gave him a gentler impression than I had initially thought. Judging by his face alone, he seemed like someone who had grown up without major hardships.
Well, aside from losing his parents early, Ha Suan was from a completely different world than mine. There was no comparison between us. It was surprising enough that he had become friends with me.
“Thank you.”
“You already thanked me earlier. You don’t need to do it again.”
“Not for the movie. For being friends with me. I’m not someone with anything to offer.”
“That’s not true.”
Ha Suan quietly got up from his seat and came to sit next to me.
I felt a strange discomfort and slightly lifted my hips to move away. Ha Suan rested his chin on the table and stared at me intently. Somehow, his gaze felt like it was devouring me.
“By the way, why were you crying earlier?”
“Ah, that…”
Ha Suan asked while refilling my empty glass.
How much have I drunk? I really should stop now.
Even though I thought I should stop drinking, remembering Heerim receiving Guiding from someone else made my insides burn, causing me to keep gulping down more alcohol.
“Is it because of that person we met last time?”
“Huh?”
Had I separately told Ha Suan anything about Heerim?
I put down my glass and looked at Ha Suan. He was smiling cryptically while tracing the rim of my glass with his finger. He seemed to know something. When I couldn’t readily answer, Ha Suan changed the subject.
“Have you thought about coming to work at my relative’s company? Where you are now is only hurting you.”
“I, I…”
Again, it was a question difficult to answer immediately. My heart beat rapidly with inexplicable anxiety. I wanted to ask him to move away because the space felt cramped, but I couldn’t find my voice.
“You still need more time to think about it. That’s fine.”
Ha Suan laughed softly and let my stiff body lean against his shoulder.
“Rest a bit.”
Ha Suan patted my shoulder. I wanted to push him away because this wasn’t necessary, but I was too tipsy to muster any strength.
“You’ll soon realize what the better choice is.”
Ha Suan’s words sounded distant. At the same time, the effects of alcohol came crashing like a tsunami, and my memory abruptly cut off there.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
