# Chapter 33
Before officially starting work, I greeted the other teachers. While I was seeing some for the first time, most had been here when I lived here.
Despite having made no contact all this time and then suddenly visiting, everyone, including the director, welcomed me warmly. I felt guilty but also heartwarmed for the first time in a while.
“Next time, bring Jaeyeon with you.”
“Yes, I will.”
After updating the director about Jaeyeon’s recent life, I went to where the other volunteers were gathered. Having already received their tasks from the youngest teacher, they were sorting bedding by season into large basins. The orphanage’s washing machine was small, so they did laundry by hand once a month, and today seemed to be that day.
I approached the youngest teacher, who was filling a basin with water, while observing my surroundings.
“Teacher, what should I do?”
“Hm? Oh, please step on those.”
The basin the youngest teacher pointed to contained winter blankets with very thick cotton filling.
“Wow, you still use these blankets? I think we bought these when I was in ninth grade, right?”
“Yes, that’s right. They’re still in great condition, so we’re using them actively. By the way, does Jaeyeon still sleep with that ragged blanket?”
“No. She was so attached to it, but at some point, she seems to have completely forgotten about it.”
“That’s how people’s hearts are. Even things we once cherished become insignificant at some point. It’s the same with people. Even couples who act like they can’t live without each other become enemies after breaking up.”
For some reason, the teacher’s words, which sounded like personal experience, made me recall Heerim’s behavior and words toward me.
“Whenever you’re kind to strangers, it drives me crazy with envy.”
“You should only guide me. Answer me. Tell me you’ll only guide me.”
“You said you’d be my friend. You said you wouldn’t hate me…”
I had considered it just a purposeful attachment toward me as his guide, but thinking again, there was something more desperate there. Heerim behaved like an abandoned dog strangely afraid of being forsaken. I had never given him that much of my heart to begin with.
“What are you thinking about so deeply? Can’t do it? Want to switch to another task?”
“Ah, no! I’ll do it!”
Burying my questions about Heerim, I rolled up my pant legs. I took off my shoes and socks, placed them neatly in the corner, and washed my feet thoroughly with a hose.
After completing all preparations, I put my feet into the basin filled with water and detergent. As I stepped on the heavy, water-soaked cotton blankets, bubbles formed abundantly. Seeing the bubbles quickly filling the basin reminded me of the seasonal deep cleaning we all used to do together when I was young.
It was an old memory, like Jaeyeon’s attachment blanket that I no longer remember where we put.
“You must volunteer here often? You seem close with everyone.”
As I was enthusiastically stepping on the blankets, Ha Suan approached. His clothes were completely soaked with water and bubbles, regardless of how he had done his laundry. Uncertain how to answer his question, I simply nodded silently. There was no need to reveal I was from here and make the atmosphere awkward.
“We’re from Hanguk University’s Social Welfare Department. We’re juniors. What about you, Jaeo-ssi?”
“…I didn’t go to college.”
College and family were among the conversation topics I felt uncomfortable with. Some people subtly look down on you when you say you didn’t attend college. Still, there was no need to hide it, so I answered honestly.
“Ah, I see. There are many people like that these days. I think it’s not necessary to go to college. Honestly, nowadays college is little more than empty formality, isn’t it?”
“Is that so?”
“Yes. I went because everyone else did. If not for that, I wouldn’t have gone. Oh, let’s step on the blankets together.”
Ha Suan took off his slippers and put his feet into the basin where I was standing. I moved aside to make space for him. Though the suddenly reduced distance was disconcerting, I didn’t show it.
Ha Suan, who clearly had the aura of what people call an “insider,” continued speaking without awkwardness.
“Besides, I’m quite competitive. I need to do whatever others do. If I’m going to do something, I want to be the best and gain recognition from others.”
“Hmm. That must be tiring. Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to dismiss you.”
Caught up in Ha Suan’s casual conversation style, I unconsciously spoke my thoughts aloud.
“Haha. It’s true, though.”
Ha Suan laughed off my comment as if it didn’t bother him.
“It’s my own ambition. To be the best. Don’t you have such ambitions, Jaeo-ssi? Well, maybe ‘ambition’ isn’t the right word. Should I ask about your life goals?”
Life goals…
It was something I’d never seriously thought about, even while diligently saving money. I was going to say my life goal was “money,” but then I thought about a more ultimate goal. And soon I realized my ideal.
“A stable life where I can fall asleep and wake up without worries. That’s my ambition.”
It might seem like an insignificant wish to others, but for me, it would be more than enough.
“True. Living without troubles is the best.”
Ha Suan nodded and vigorously stepped on the blankets.
After finishing the blanket laundry, we organized the flower beds in the orphanage’s backyard. After removing the weeds that had grown wildly to welcome spring, I realized three hours had already passed.
During that time, I had many conversations with Ha Suan. Our talks were so enjoyable that I felt sorry for initially avoiding him. He didn’t try to force any religion on me or sell me anything. We just had normal conversations that any people in their twenties could have.
While working at part-time jobs, I occasionally encountered people who showed interest in me, but they distanced themselves the moment they learned I was a “poor high school graduate.” So this ordinary conversation with a peer, though unfamiliar, was enjoyable.
When lunchtime came, Ha Suan and his group, having completed their volunteer work for the day, packed up their belongings.
“Let’s meet again if we have the chance. There’s a really delicious Western restaurant near our university, my treat.”
Ha Suan extended his phone to me. He wanted to exchange numbers. I hesitated for a moment before typing in my number.
“I’ll contact you then.”
He made a calling gesture with his hand and left the orphanage building. I merely nodded awkwardly.
“Well, I should get something to eat before I go.”
Since I had finished all my tasks, I thought about leisurely exploring the orphanage. I stretched fully and then wandered around the orphanage. The walls had been newly wallpapered, colorfully and beautifully decorated. Other than that, nothing had changed. The bunk beds that densely filled the rooms and the small library created with help from sponsoring organizations remained the same. Although everything was unchanged, visiting again after four years brought new feelings. Next time, I really should bring Jaeyeon. Given her personality, I could vividly imagine her hugging the teachers and sobbing as if at a reunion of separated families.
I was taking pictures of various parts of the orphanage with my phone camera, planning to send them to Jaeyeon later.
“Another fire?”
I heard voices from the teachers’ lounge. I was going to walk by, but the following words stopped me in my tracks.
“No, how can fires only occur at orphanages?”
“Wasn’t there a similar incident in the past? Was it 10 years ago? Several orphanages burned down and closed, right?”
“Right. That happened.”
“The place that caught fire this time was newly established last year, right? Oh my. They must have had many children there. Are they okay?”
“The fire broke out at dawn, so they probably couldn’t evacuate.”
Soft sighs escaped from the gathered teachers.
“Like 10 years ago, I think this is serial arson. Among all those buildings, there’s no way fires would accidentally target only orphanages.”
Serial arson targeting only orphanages?
Having inadvertently overheard the teachers’ conversation, I carefully took out my phone. I searched for “orphanage fire” on a portal site, but there was only one brief article announcing the fire. From what I was hearing, it sounded like a large-scale disaster with total fatalities. How could this be?
“Oh, right. I heard something strange related to that fire.”
A lowered voice was heard from beyond the door. It was the youngest teacher’s voice.
“My brother’s friend, who’s a police officer, told me. After a fire, they recover the bodies, right? But strangely, there are two or three children missing. There are no signs of escape either.”
“What does that mean? So where are those kids supposed to be?”
“No one knows. Since there are no bodies, they’ll probably treat them as missing… But since these are children without parents, I’m not sure if they can be found. Anyway, it’s strange. Already two orphanages have burned down, but there’s hardly any news coverage, and children are disappearing.”
“We should be careful too. Teacher Ji-yeon, when was the last time our fire safety facilities were inspected?”
“Last summer. The city inspection also found no problems. Oh, right. By the way, Teacher Seo-yeon, you asked about where to get a personal color diagnosis. That…”
The conversation naturally shifted to a different topic. I silently passed by the lounge, suppressing any sound. I remembered experiencing a similar situation when I was young. Fearing that a fire might break out at our orphanage, I spent a week lying awake, mentally simulating escape routes. When I was young, I simply hoped no fire would occur, but now, reflecting on it, there were many strange points, just as the teachers said.
Serial fires occurring only at orphanages.
Quiet media despite total fatalities.
Several children simultaneously disappearing.
Listing these questions, the situation looked like someone was kidnapping children and setting fires to destroy evidence.
“This might be too much of a conspiracy theory.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at my own thoughts. Perhaps because I’ve been experiencing many unusual things lately, my thinking has gone in an absurd direction. Kidnapping in 21st century Korea? It was hard to believe. It seemed more likely that some lunatic had committed arson.
“…Nothing will happen, right?”
Even if it really was serial arson targeting orphanages, it didn’t feel like a reality that affected me. So I wasn’t as worried or anxious as I had been when I was younger.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
