I Cannot Keep Up with My Regressed Brother's Emotions 48 - Hyacinth in Bloom

# Chapter 48

## 15. The Future Left Behind in the Past Ver.4

### Extra Story 4. Kwon Haeil

A-rank Esper Kwon Haeil. A fire ability user.

Despite being a high-rank Esper, Kwon Haeil didn’t have a dedicated guide for a while. Even though guides were always in short supply, opportunities should have come to Kwon Haeil, the representative Esper of the Association. Nevertheless, Kwon Haeil always received inadequate guiding from various guides who belonged to the Association.

The truth was that in most cases, guiding efficiency was not high for Kwon Haeil. So he still hadn’t met someone worthy of becoming his dedicated guide.

In times when guides’ human rights were trampled, everyone thought Kwon Haeil would be no different, regardless of who he was.

But he was different. No, he was righteous.

Despite inadequate guiding, Kwon Haeil treated all guides with respect.

Unlike other Espers drunk on power and authority, Kwon Haeil carried out his missions more diligently than anyone. When someone asked him why, Kwon Haeil answered without hesitation that it was the duty of those with power. Even if it was a script written by Daesung, the words from a handsome man with an honest smile that inspired trust always carried weight.

* * *

Kwon Haeil had been feeling thirsty for guiding.

He often frowned at Espers who insulted guides with vulgar language. He had engaged in intimate relationships with consent, hoping for maximum efficiency through deep connection, but the guiding efficiency remained the same as usual, only increasing his exhaustion. Above all, loveless intimacy only brought emptiness.

Holding hands was enough. It was natural for rumors about “Gentleman Kwon Haeil” to spread.

Although Guardian Joo Dojoon’s abilities were superior, when asked to name a representative Esper, most people, including guides, would unhesitatingly think of Kwon Haeil.

Handling more missions than anyone, Kwon Haeil always appeared at the front lines. Each time, he would encounter Joo Dojoon who was doing his part as a Guardian.

As usual, after exchanging nods with Kwon Haeil, he jumped into the most dangerous area, unleashing flames. Joo Dojoon skillfully set up a defensive barrier as a shield in Kwon Haeil’s blind spot. When they reached a dead end, he would create a defensive barrier to use as stairs.

Despite overusing his abilities, Joo Dojoon was always in top condition. When Kwon Haeil returned with a tired face after turning the dungeon forest into a sea of flames, Joo Dojoon was leisurely sipping a potion.

“You don’t look well. Would you like one?”

“I appreciate the offer, but I’m fine.”

“I suppose. A potion can’t solve your problem anyway.”

Even though there were fewer restrictions on using power in dungeons, burning an area of this size would exhaust any Esper.

“You look like you need guiding. Want to borrow mine?”

Kwon Haeil frowned at Joo Dojoon’s attitude of offering to lend his guide as casually as the small potion in his hand. It was rare for Kwon Haeil, who seldom showed negative emotions, to display such feelings.

“Did you actually bring a guide here?”

“Not inside the dungeon. They’re waiting at the entrance, so you don’t need to worry about safety.”

Kwon Haeil’s frown eased slightly upon hearing the guide wasn’t brought into the dangerous dungeon.

“I’m fine. I’ll receive guiding when I return to the Association.”

“The Association barely does Level 2 guiding. If you do it here, you can relieve stress and there’s no time limit, so go ahead.”

Kwon Haeil politely declined after controlling his emotions, but the response he received was light and vulgar.

Joo Dojoon’s attitude of treating guides as objects to be casually lent out made Kwon Haeil uncomfortable. This was especially true after he once agreed to Joo Dojoon’s offer without knowing the situation and ended up witnessing an indecent bedroom scene.

* * *

Lacking proper guiding, Kwon Haeil became increasingly strict with himself to hide his growing sensitivity. Enduring pain was natural, and he became accustomed to not showing discomfort.

His suffering was nothing compared to the pain of a B-rank Esper he occasionally met at the center, who waited endlessly for guiding.

“Esper Kwon Haeil, it’s time for your guiding.”

“Yes, how much is available today?”

“Three guides are waiting, three hours each.”

The thought of giving up one of his sessions to help that B-rank Esper breathe easier slowed Kwon Haeil’s steps. Seeing Kwon Haeil’s gaze linger on the Esper suffering from lack of guiding, the attendant quickly pulled him along.

“Even nine hours means investing all your sleep time. And that only eases the headache a bit. If you’re going on a joint hunt tomorrow, you must recover for at least eight hours.”

“I understand. I’ll receive proper guiding.”

There were always bigger matters in front of Kwon Haeil that made it difficult to consider others.

Only after spending all his time on guiding until the next day’s rest period could he approach normal condition. The lukewarm and slow guiding, like soaking in tepid water, tired Kwon Haeil, but he was thankful to regain some normal condition this way.

However, fewer Espers participated in inefficient gates over time, increasing Kwon Haeil’s workload. Yet he couldn’t blame Espers who were just looking after themselves.

“Hnngh… ugh…”

But even someone as patient as Kwon Haeil had days when it was unbearably difficult.

On the way back from clearing gates one after another, catching monsters that emerged from a sudden gate in the city was exhausting enough to deplete all his remaining mana. His body felt heavier than after clearing two gates. Each time he used his power, impure mana gnawed at his body.

He could only sigh, wondering how many days it would take to recover with simple guiding in this state. It would be fortunate if he could receive it properly at all. With emergency calls coming almost every day, rest was impossible.

When he arrived at the center with his heavy body, there were no guides left. It was too late at night, and other Espers were visiting the Association more frequently due to increased gate occurrences.

“Not a single one today of all days…”

He quickly applied for guiding and entered the Esper dormitory. As he continued his difficult steps, the door of Joo Dojoon’s room opened. Though he was truly too tired and wanted to just walk past, his character wouldn’t allow it, so he raised his head to offer a light greeting.

“Hello…”

“You look like you urgently need guiding.”

Joo Dojoon’s voice sounded slow and satisfied as he blurted this out. Leaning against the open door with languid movements, Joo Dojoon showed a smile, raising the corners of his mouth when he met Kwon Haeil’s eyes. His eyes still held heat from earlier. It looked like mockery today, making Kwon Haeil feel unpleasant, but since they saw each other often, he calmly opened his mouth.

“It’s been a busy day. Now if you’ll excuse me…”

“Come inside.”

Joo Dojoon opened the half-open door wide. Kwon Haeil glimpsed someone sitting on the sofa inside. He deliberately lowered his gaze to avoid looking at the person as he declined.

“It seems you have a guest. I’ll come back later.”

“I’m inviting you because it’s there. I’ll lend you the guide inside, use them.”

“No, I decline.”

“Ah, are you uncomfortable because I used it first? I can make them wash up.”

Joo Dojoon casually grabbed Kwon Haeil’s arm and led him inside. Although he could have easily broken free, Kwon Haeil, so thirsty for guiding, was drawn to the faint guide energy flowing from inside.

Once inside, Joo Dojoon lifted the person sitting on the sofa. The slumped body moved according to Joo Dojoon’s hands. The head raised forcibly, and blurry eyes met Kwon Haeil’s. His heart thumped at the sight of the thoroughly wet face and the dark eyes that made contact without resistance. Joo Dojoon personally opened the swollen red lips to show them.

“Esper Kwon Haeil, I heard you have a unique constitution? That your guiding efficiency is the worst. Try with this one too. They’re pretty good, quite skilled.”

“Uh… uhng…”

The guide, who received Joo Dojoon’s finger in their mouth with a frown, groaned but didn’t avoid it. Moreover, the guiding flow through Joo Dojoon’s finger became clearly visible like a wave. It was hard to believe this guide had shown nearly dying waves just moments ago.

“See? They pretend to be innocent but die of pleasure with just a finger. Esper Kwon Haeil should try too.”

Joo Dojoon openly tried to hand the guide over to Kwon Haeil. The guide, who had been overworked to the point of being unable to walk on their own, was pushed toward Kwon Haeil by Joo Dojoon’s hand.

“Just try it first. Other Espers all said it was good.”

At this glib suggestion, Kwon Haeil’s fingertips twitched. When tears fell from the eyes of the guide, who was nodding as Joo Dojoon moved them, Kwon Haeil desperately held onto his reason.

“The guide’s wave is weak. In this state, they need to rest.”

Kwon Haeil felt that the faint guide wave flowing out was pitiful. Even a guide with strong dedication who provided guiding to their limit for him had shown stronger waves than this.

“It’s fine. Once you actually try it, the guiding works.”

“No. This person needs rest.”

“They’re just going to lie around sleeping after this anyway, so what’s the difference.”

Despite Kwon Haeil’s stiff response, Joo Dojoon replied lightly as if he really didn’t understand.

“Espers fight monsters at the front lines, while guides just lend a hand for a moment and then lie around on soft beds.”

“No. Without them, we couldn’t use our powers.”

“Tsk, Esper Kwon Haeil, you really go looking for trouble. Come anytime if you change your mind.”

Saying that while lightly patting Kwon Haeil’s shoulder, Joo Dojoon’s wave was so excessively stable that Kwon Haeil found it difficult to resist the final temptation.

* * *

That day’s events continued to bring guilt to Kwon Haeil.

Even though he didn’t outwardly give in to Joo Dojoon’s temptation, his mind kept recalling that guide’s wave and tired face. They seemed like someone who needed to be rescued, but there was no way to extract Guardian Joo Dojoon’s guide. Even if he could save them, he wasn’t confident he wouldn’t take that guide for himself.

This regret and agony later led to rescuing a D-rank guide who had been pushed around at the bottom.

That was the extent of what he could do as an A-rank Esper – rescuing a mere D-rank guide – everyone’s hero, Kwon Haeil.