I Want to Be Your Guide 7

I Want to Be Your Guide – Chapter 7

‘Never come back again.’

That was the only thing Jeongyun’s parents said to him after he took the Guide test.

He wondered if the bond between parent and child could be severed so easily, but his parents couldn’t understand a son who would work to save the Espers they loathed, even if the world turned upside down.

His father told him to hide the fact that he had taken the test and live a normal life, even now. But Jeongyun didn’t follow his father’s words. He wanted to meet Domin no matter what.

From the day Domin saved him in that hellish chaos, Domin kept appearing in his mind whether his eyes were closed or open, making normal daily life impossible.

Ah, so this is love. Domin was the first passion that Jeongyun, who had been living a lukewarm life, had ever experienced.

Though he was kicked out of home, he wasn’t worried because becoming a Guide provided not only a generous salary but also housing. He just needed to endure by moving between friends’ houses until the test results came out.

He was sorry to his parents, but for Jeongyun, who was blinded by love, nothing was frightening. He was reckless and fearless because he was younger then than he is now.

If only he could provide Guiding to Domin as a Guide, if only he could see Domin up close, if only Domin could have the same feelings for him.

His delusions, beyond hope, grew increasingly intense, but that’s how Jeongyun endured each day.

And a few days later, when the test results came out, Jeongyun was deeply disappointed.

Jeongyun read and re-read the result written on the test paper. Even if others didn’t know, everyone knew that Domin was an A-rank telekinetic Esper.

C-rank, so far from Domin’s rank that even Esper-phobics knew. Though he wasn’t yet an official Guide working at headquarters, Jeongyun could tell. He would never have the chance to provide Guiding to Domin.

Jeongyun crumpled the test paper in his hand. That wouldn’t change the C-rank result printed on it, but at that time, he had to release his rising disappointment somehow.

He tore the paper into small pieces and threw them in the trash. The Guide test result, which he had taken despite his parents’ opposition, was devastating. For the first time, he regretted if this was why he had left his family.

Still, he tried not to lose hope, pretending to be calm and thinking that maybe an opportunity would come someday. But even such expectations gradually dulled with time, and even the burning passion cooled in the face of the discrimination deeply rooted within headquarters.

The lukewarm Jeongyun eventually chose to conform. He claimed to be satisfied just by watching Domin on the lounge TV that only played the same advertisements, and that’s how he had endured his daily life.

‘Choi Domin doesn’t even know you’re breathing.’

The statement was cruel but true, even he himself thought so.

* * *

After Junyoung, who had repeatedly pleaded for help, went outside, Jeongyun remained alone with Domin in the Guiding room.

Approaching Domin, who was suffering in agony, Jeongyun tightly clenched his trembling hand and then opened it wide again. Wondering if this was a dream, he even pinched his cheek.

To think that the day would come when he would actually provide Guiding to Domin. It was a scene he had only seen in dreams, so it didn’t feel real.

“…Get it together.”

Jeongyun lightly slapped his cheeks with both hands.

He needed to put aside his personal feelings. He shouldn’t be shaken. Just like providing Guiding to other Espers, he needed to view Domin’s Guiding as just work. Just work without any personal feelings, and Choi Domin was just a job assigned to him.

Jeongyun calmly examined Domin’s condition. He couldn’t waste time because of trivial emotions. His body, weakened by the aftereffects, was crying out its limits.

Jeongyun steadied his trembling breath, pulled up a chair, and sat next to the bed. Then, with a firm resolve, he announced the start of Guiding to Domin, who was struggling for his life.

“Guide Yeo Jeongyun, I will begin Guiding for Esper Choi Domin.”

After the formal report, he carefully took Domin’s hand. As he began Contact Guiding, the trembling of the hand he held gradually decreased, definitely showing an effect.

However, this level of contact was not enough. He didn’t know what his matching rate with Domin was, but due to the rank difference alone, such light skinship could only slightly reduce the pain.

“Urgh…”

As expected, a painful moan escaped through Domin’s teeth. When he tried to let go of his hand for a moment, Domin, despite his confused state, instinctively tried to grab Jeongyun’s hand as it moved away.

His fluttering eyelashes seemed like they would rise up at any moment. But even as time passed, the dark pupils hidden within did not appear.

“Excuse me.”

Jeongyun carefully asked for understanding, then rose from his chair and leaned over the bed. He got so close to Domin that their breaths touched.

‘This is just Guiding. I need to kill my emotions.’

Jeongyun closed his eyes to calm his wavering heart. With his vision still immersed in darkness, he tilted his head and gently pressed his lips against Domin’s.

A faint breath was felt between the soft lips. He almost unconsciously opened his closed lips and extended his tongue, but he didn’t forget that this was, after all, just Guiding.

Jeongyun stayed like that, lips pressed together for a long time, then moved away from Domin. He definitely felt the power draining from him, so something must have had an effect on Domin as well.

“There’s… no effect at all.”

But the result was disastrous. Seeing Domin’s condition unchanged from before, Jeongyun’s eyes shook unsteadily. Despite the power being properly transferred, Domin wasn’t getting any better.

‘This can’t be right.’

He knew that rank differences had a significant impact on Guiding, but he didn’t know it would be this absolute.

He had to admit it. To resolve this situation, he needed to call a higher-ranked Guide, not himself.

“Ju Saeon…”

He needed to ask Junyoung, who was waiting outside, if he had managed to contact Saeon.

With an urgent mind, he was about to leave the Guiding room when suddenly his body tilted and his vision flipped. When he came to his senses, he was leaning against Domin’s chest, which was rising and falling with rapid breaths.

Startled, Jeongyun tried to get up, but a large hand pressed down on his head.

“…Just stay still.”

Domin muttered in a low voice.

Had the Guiding worked after all? A faint smile spread across Jeongyun’s face as he heard Domin’s clear voice, though it was slightly shaky.

Now he could adjust the scope of Guiding while talking to Domin. Gathering his strength, Jeongyun tried to get up again. But Domin’s hand held him and wouldn’t let go.

“Mr. Choi Domin?”

Thump, thump, a heartbeat sounded in his ear. It was the sound coming from Domin’s chest, which was pressed against his ear. With each breath, a deep scent rose.

It was Domin’s scent, which he had only filled with imagination every time. He needed to exclude emotions, but being embraced in Domin’s arms made his heart waver.

Around the time the rough breathing subsided, Domin’s hand that had been pressing on Jeongyun’s head went down weakly. Jeongyun, who had been watching for a chance, carefully pushed Domin’s hand away and rose.

“Ah…”

He thought it had been effective, but it wasn’t at all. Pain still remained on Domin’s face. Jeongyun placed his hand on Domin’s forehead, wet with cold sweat, and carefully called him.

“Mr. Choi Domin.”

As if he had heard Jeongyun calling, Domin slowly opened his eyes. Beyond the long eyelashes, unfocused pupils appeared.

As he slowly removed his hand from Domin’s forehead, Domin grabbed Jeongyun as he moved away.

“Don’t go…”

A voice filled with pain flowed through tightly clenched teeth. Domin desperately held Jeongyun’s hand, which he had grabbed, as if it were a lifeline.

Guiding was still properly taking place even now as they held hands, but it was insufficient to remove Domin’s pain. Whether it was because of the rank difference or the matching rate. Probably both.

There were two ways to save Domin now. Either call a higher-ranked Guide, or proceed with more intimate skinship.

“It’ll be okay.”

He had wished for this all along. Just as Domin had saved him, he wanted to save Domin too. That’s why he became a Guide, and he didn’t want to miss this moment.

“I can do it.”

Having made his decision, Jeongyun threw his pager far away. The pager with its blinking red light hit the wall and rolled away somewhere.

“Excuse me.”

After asking for understanding, Jeongyun took off his shoes and climbed onto the bed where Domin was lying. Creeak, at the sound of the springs of the old mattress, his heart, which he had tried to calm, started pounding again.

Domin’s eyes still lacked focus. When Jeongyun raised their clasped hands and rubbed his cheek, Domin responded by kissing the hand touching his cheek.

His mind, which had been repeating that this was just Guiding, had been quiet for some time. Jeongyun swallowed hard and then said with a trembling voice:

“As Contact Guiding is deemed insufficient, I will proceed with the next level of Guiding.”