The Mountain is the Mountain, the Water is the Water, But I Am Him
***
Won-oh carefully opened the door. The woman stepped in with a smile, showing no sign of awkwardness.
“You’ve grown so much. You used to only come up to my waist. Do you remember me?”
Won-oh didn’t answer. He simply looked down at her in silence. Without pressing for a response, the woman glanced around the space and took off her shoes. Her low-heeled shoes looked well-worn, the kind you’d wear if you were constantly on your feet. Won-oh guessed she probably had a job that kept her moving.
A sales rep? A visiting tutor? A surveyor? He thought of a few occupations. He didn’t know exactly what they did—just names he’d heard in passing.
Well, if it was something like that, low heels made sense. Still, sneakers might’ve been more comfortable.
‘Pointless thoughts.’
Won-oh rubbed his cheek discreetly. When caught off guard, he tended to drift into unrelated thoughts. Maybe it was his way of ignoring a situation he couldn’t control.
After glancing around, the woman looked back at him and said,
“I got turned around on the way here. The neighborhood’s changed so much. Can I get some water?”
People who were naturally sociable were often the hardest to deal with. Won-oh quietly went into the kitchen and brought her a glass of water.
By then, the woman was already seated on the living room couch. As soon as she received the glass, she gulped down the water and ran her fingers along the armrest, letting out a soft exclamation.
“You’re still using this? The neighborhood’s changed a lot, but the house looks exactly the same. Just like the old days.”
She was smiling, but it wasn’t exactly a look of joy. Familiarity didn’t always equal nostalgia.
Won-oh hesitated, then cautiously asked,
“Why are you here…?”
His voice came out uneven. He hadn’t meant to trail off. Worried she might take offense, he quickly glanced at her expression.
But the woman, unfazed, responded brightly.
“Why else? I came to pick you up.”
Her words sounded bizarre.
Technically, Won-oh referred to her as a woman, as if she were a stranger, but in truth, they were not. They were full siblings—same mother, same father. But when Won-oh was still too young for elementary school, their parents divorced, and he was separated from his sister. Nearly ten years had passed since then.
The sister he remembered had always been in a school uniform. The woman in front of him now wore a simple T-shirt and jeans. Still, her face hadn’t changed much. It didn’t seem like someone impersonating her to scam him. Not that there would be any reason to do that, anyway.
The woman held out her empty glass. As Won-oh reached to take it, she grabbed his wrist and tugged.
Having barely eaten lately, he was weak and easily pulled down onto the couch beside her. She pressed firmly on his thigh, preventing him from standing back up.
“I heard you’re not even going to school right now. It’s not like you originally planned to drop out, right? Then again, with everything going on, it’s no wonder school’s the last thing on your mind.”
She wore the expression of a concerned teacher.
Their father had died not long after his middle school graduation. The few relatives on his father’s side had all avoided getting involved in the funeral. Since it was after graduation, even the middle school teachers who had treated Won-oh well didn’t step in.
In the end, it was his father’s former colleagues who handled the funeral arrangements. Even they hadn’t been particularly willing. If they hadn’t been police officers, they might have just ignored it altogether.
Given all that, going to high school wasn’t even on Won-oh’s radar. He couldn’t even bring himself to step outside.
The locals, wary of what he might do, would never look away when they ran into him on the street. They whispered and pointed as he passed with his head lowered.
Sometimes, so-called YouTubers came by to film around the house.
It felt suffocating. Even starving seemed preferable to stepping outside.
The woman didn’t scold him for staying silent. Instead, she continued,
“I just moved to a new place. It has two rooms. The high school’s nearby, too.”
“Why me… I mean, I’m not… I don’t matter…”
When was the last time he’d spoken to another person? It had definitely been a few days. Maybe that’s why his words came out so awkwardly.
As he nervously moved his lips without managing to say more, the woman gave a lopsided smile.
The spot on the couch where she sat with her legs stretched out—coincidentally, it was the exact place where their father had died. She tapped that spot with her foot and said,
“Why? Because we’re family, of course. That’s why I came for you.”
If family means those who share the same blood, then yes, she and Won-oh were family.
But there was still someone who felt more like family to him than she did.
He hadn’t heard anything about his mother passing away. So why had his sister come instead? Did their mother even know about this?
Noticing the thoughts running through his mind, the woman scratched her cheek with a sheepish look.
“Actually, Mom was against it. I know that might hurt, but try to understand. You remember how scared she was of Dad, right?”
He remembered. Even when their mother and sister still lived in this house, their father had never been a gentle man. He never yelled or cursed, but from behind the closed bedroom door came dull, heavy thuds. Their mother always wore long-sleeved clothing, and sometimes… even her face had…
Back then, he hadn’t understood what any of it meant. Now, he did.
Just before he sank into the pull of that old memory, the woman’s voice yanked him back.
“Anyway, people’s hearts are complicated. Even though he’s dead, Mom would’ve never wanted to come back to this house.”
Won-oh quickly nodded. The woman gave a half-hearted smile.
“I wasn’t exactly unafraid either, but hey, he’s gone now. Let’s just pack a few of your things for now, grab a bite to eat, and take care of whatever needs dealing with.”
Her cheerful suggestion didn’t earn a nod from Won-oh. He stammered, trying to decline.
“I—I… I think I’ll just stay here…”
He didn’t believe he had any right to lean on unexpected fortune. He should die alone behind closed doors, just like those he’d failed to save.
“How are you going to live here all alone? Or is it that being around me makes you uncomfortable?”
She leaned in close, her face wearing a playful grin. Was this always what she’d been like?
New memories, vivid and alive, layered over the faded image of the sister he’d once known. It felt unfamiliar—blinding, even. Like a shadow shrinking away from light, Won-oh curled into himself.
“It’s not that… I just, ngh…!”
Suddenly, he couldn’t breathe. No words came out. As he gasped and hunched over, her hand gently tapped his back. Unlike the townspeople who were too afraid to even brush against his sleeve, she didn’t hesitate to touch him.
“Breathe slowly.”
Following her instruction, Won-oh inhaled deeply, exhaled slowly. In… out… in again… The suffocating tightness in his chest gradually loosened.
“There you go.”
He barely managed to sit up straight again, but couldn’t bring himself to look at her face. Struggling to breathe evenly, he confessed,
“Dad… it’s because I didn’t call… in time…”
“You mean reporting it?”
“I was… late…”
“Oh, the ambulance.”
His father had collapsed suddenly—cardiac infarction. The paramedics had rushed him to the hospital after Won-oh made the call, but it had been too late. They said he was already beyond saving.
“That wasn’t your fault. His time just ran out. How could anyone predict or react to a heart attack like that?”
“Still…”
“You think he died because of you?”
Won-oh didn’t answer. The woman let out a low sigh and looked serious.
“Then let’s think of it this way.”
Won-oh glanced up at her uncertainly, and she cupped his cheeks in both hands. Caught off guard, he met her eyes.
Up close, there was nothing in her face that resembled their father. Her eyes sparkled, and her lips were stubbornly set. Eyes couldn’t carry warmth, but hers somehow did.
“A bad man died. That’s all.”
“A bad man…”
Won-oh had been the only one who knew what his father had done—all the lives he’d taken.
A former police officer. A widower raising a son alone. He was the first to shovel snow on wintry mornings, and he regularly volunteered for senior citizens living alone. Maybe dull, but by all appearances, a good man.
No one in the neighborhood ever suspected him. The massive serial killer had worn a humble, easygoing mask that fooled everyone completely.
He was a man who deserved to die.
The same people who once called him a good man now said it too. Some insisted he died without paying for his sins. Others said death was his punishment. Either way, no one disagreed that he deserved it.
“You don’t need to carry guilt for the death of a bad man. He wasn’t even a good father.”
She rubbed under Won-oh’s eye. The faint scar there had been with him since childhood. Though he didn’t remember, people said their father had thrown him as a baby.
“Forget everything about him. From now on, he can’t touch your life. You can live however you want. You can become a good person—however you define that.”
“A good person…”
“Yeah, a good person.”
“But I didn’t save anyone…”
Won-oh muttered, and her grip on his face tightened. His cheek stung.
“You were just a kid. You’re still a kid. You need help. And it’s okay for someone who’s vulnerable to accept help.”
“Even so…”
“Then save others later. When you’re grown up, when you’re a good person—save someone then, Won-oh. That’s enough.”
Without waiting for his reply, she got up and went into his room to pack.
A few changes of clothes. Random junk he probably wouldn’t even use. She shoved everything into his worn-out school bag.
Watching in a daze, Won-oh muttered again.
“Dad…”
“Forget about him. A bad man died, that’s all.”
“Really, just like that.”
“It’s okay. Dad can’t come after you anymore.”
Won-oh followed his sister out of the house.
The neighbors they passed all stared, but her stride never wavered. She marched forward, like the captain of a great ship, eyes fixed straight ahead. Even the stormy winds behind her only pushed her faster.
Gradually, strength returned to Won-oh’s legs. With every step, the horrific memories seemed to fall further behind.
The day he’d secretly gone to the police station without his father knowing. The moment he saw someone his father knew there and panicked, running away. The moment his father found out and locked him in the basement. The moment he locked eyes with someone begging to be saved.
The moment he couldn’t run.
The moment he watched that person being dragged away.
Won-oh’s pace quickened. Before he realized it, he had moved ahead of his sister.
The old memories chased behind the vivid ones.
One step—he heard the sound of his father collapsing.
Two steps—he found his father lying there.
Three steps—he did nothing.
Four steps—did nothing.
Five steps—still did nothing.
Six steps—called 119.
Seven steps—they told him it was too late.
‘Can I really save someone next time?’
Omg I kinda always thought the noona wasn’t his actual blood related siblings, turns out they are
Poor kid, his sister was really an angel.