- Regression
There are two types of people in the world.
People who like me and people who don’t.
And Joo Seolhyeon was someone who didn’t like me.
He was an S-class Guide who was kind to everyone, but whenever he looked at me, he was always cold. At the very least, he maintained basic courtesy when others were around. But once people disappeared and just the two of us remained, he removed his mask without hesitation.
He wasn’t much of a talker, but he was someone who revealed everything through his expressions.
No, it seemed he just didn’t speak to me. He found the very act of exchanging words with me unpleasant.
Despite this, I liked him. Even if his face hardened every time he saw me, even if he looked at me with disgust when my body bloomed with red heat rashes—a side effect of my ability.
I was okay with it.
He was my exclusive Guide with the highest matching rate with me.
Even if it was just a contractual relationship on paper, he wouldn’t leave me.
After postponing guiding again and again, I was happy even when he would just hold my hand once when I was on the verge of going berserk. I could be satisfied with that.
“Contract termination?”
Then suddenly, he thrust a document at me.
As an S-class Esper, I belonged to the state, and it was the state’s responsibility to match me with the Guide with the highest compatibility. The Guide’s opinion was almost completely disregarded in this process, but things changed if an Esper rejected a Guide.
“You’re not receiving proper guiding either, so I think this is best for both of us.”
Looking at the document envelope he suddenly presented after barely coming home for a month, I bit my lip.
It had been five years since he became my exclusive Guide. During that time, I had turned 27, and he had turned 29.
“Hyung, why so suddenly? Did I do something wrong? Tell me and I’ll fix it.”
Despite the five years that had passed, the number of times I received guiding from him could be counted on one hand. Since guiding wasn’t proportionate to how much I used my ability, not only my body but now my mind was gradually cracking. No matter how long I stayed in the artificial guiding room at the center, my risk level for going berserk no longer decreased. Having reached this point, I couldn’t ignore it anymore. If I didn’t receive guiding immediately, I would soon go berserk.
“Haa, that’s not what I’m talking about.”
It had been nearly half a year since I’d had a conversation like this with him. But he covered his face with both hands, looking troubled. I was prepared to take a punch as usual, but for some reason, he was holding back his anger.
“Can’t you just do it?”
Occasionally, the state organized banquets to foster goodwill with the private Esper Union.
About two months ago, at such a banquet, I happened to spot him from a distance, smiling warmly at a woman. Long, straight black hair, large black eyes slightly raised, bright red lips set plumply on skin as white as snow. She was so beautiful that anyone would turn to look twice. Later, I learned that she was the daughter of the Esper Union Chairman and an A-class Esper who performed as efficiently as an S-class.
I’m not sure why that memory came to mind, but seeing Joo Seolhyeon, who had barely been home for the past month, and the contract termination document he suddenly presented, the puzzle pieces connected in my mind. Despite it being inappropriate, jealousy welled up within me.
“Hyung, could it be that you and another Esper—”
Bang!
Startled by the sound of him slamming the desk hard, I closed my mouth. Along with that, when I realized what I had been about to say, my mind cooled down as if drenched in cold water.
As I looked into his eyes, intending to apologize to Joo Seolhyeon, I knew. That my words were true.
In his blazing blue eyes was not only intense contempt and disgust but also the bewilderment of someone who’d been hit right where it hurt. I had received countless such looks from him before, but at this moment, it felt like thousands of needles were piercing my heart.
I couldn’t breathe.
“Have you been investigating me?”
Although I had brought it up first, I had hoped he would deny it. I truly never dreamed that such an immediate affirmative answer would come back.
Investigating? Why would I do that to you, hyung?
I needed to speak, but my mouth just opened and closed without making a sound. My eyes narrowed involuntarily from the injustice. But in Joo Seolhyeon’s eyes, that seemed to be taken as confirmation.
“Sohyeon asked me to end this nicely, but now I’ve got something to say too.”
Joo Seolhyeon left me stammering like an idiot as he rose from his seat. When I realized where his casual departing steps would soon be heading, my eyes grew hot.
“Oh, right. The news is in an uproar now, saying an enormous dungeon has appeared that will require all S-class Espers from around the world to close.”
“……”
I couldn’t understand why he suddenly brought this up.
Before talking with Joo Seolhyeon, I had received direct communication about it. If anything, I probably knew more about it than he did.
“Goodbye.”
My heart sank.
Joo Seolhyeon was giving me his first and last greeting.
“It would be better if you don’t come back.”
I wanted to run after him immediately, to say I was wrong, to beg him not to go. But upon hearing his final words, which were close to a mutter, all thought stopped.
When I came to my senses, I was left all alone in the cold, empty house.
＊ ＊ ＊
With my body and mind unable to receive guiding, compounded by the wounds Joo Seolhyeon left behind, I quickly fell apart. Someone who saw my unstable state said I should be excluded from this dispatch, but to the state, I was the only S-class Esper. With the reason that the state’s reputation would suffer if I dropped out, I was moved to the dungeon.
I don’t even know what state of mind I was in when I used my ability. My consciousness, which kept flickering in and out, sometimes blacked out completely as if I had fainted. When I regained consciousness, everything around me had melted.
“You seem a bit dangerous. Where’s your Guide?”
One of the S-class Espers dispatched from the United States approached and asked me. During emergency missions, especially when the dungeon’s danger level was high, it was extremely natural for Guides to accompany their Espers and wait at the scene. But since Joo Seolhyeon hated being with me even for a minute or a second, it was absolutely impossible for me.
Even without bringing up yesterday’s incident, I was more used to not having a Guide. I shook my head while breaking out in a cold sweat, and the man who had spoken to me was about to mention me to others when he spotted another swarm of monsters approaching and activated his ability. Watching the brilliant white snow crystals and ice shoot out, I also steadied my wavering vision.
Based on the information that the dungeon’s core was in the deepest underground part, we continued moving downward. The seemingly endless path eventually ended, and there, the last remaining monster was guarding the core.
As I drew up energy like breathing, a sudden pain like my internal organs burning up from my heart struck me. In an instant, my consciousness blurred, and my vision turned red. In my head, only the thought of wanting to escape this pain circled. My flame ability was sprayed in all directions. Everything nearby melted down. I screamed in pain that felt like my entire body was being torn into thousands of pieces.
While one might not be able to stop an Esper on the verge of going berserk, the only way to stop an Esper who had already gone berserk was death.
My rampage ended as soon as it began, with me being shot dead by my colleagues, the S-class Espers dispatched from overseas who had been with me until just moments ago.
In the instant I was pierced by thousands of ice picks, my consciousness returned.
And the last thing that came to mind was Joo Seolhyeon’s face, smiling at someone other than me.
With neither resentment nor sadness, but simply because I wanted to see him, I ultimately couldn’t close my eyes.
＊ ＊ ＊
“Hyung, wake up!”
I opened my eyes to the sensation of someone shaking my body. Someone was waking me up with the dazzling morning sunlight at their back. As the backlight made it hard to see their face, I rubbed my eyes and sat up, but the other person, seemingly impatient even with that, grabbed my arm and urged me to get up quickly.
Only then could I properly see the face of the person pulling me.
“Woo Jeonghyun?”
It was my younger brother, Woo Jeonghyun. My only brother who was killed by a villain when I was 24.
“Is, is it really you, Jeonghyun?”
“What nonsense are you talking about, like someone knocking on a window in their sleep?”
Jeonghyun seemed slightly bewildered, then suddenly, as if something had occurred to him, he placed his hand on my forehead.
“No fever. You seem fine. Hyung, are you still half-asleep?”
I pulled down the hand covering my forehead and shook my head. The moment when I failed to protect my beloved family while catching monsters released by a villain came back to me as if it happened yesterday, but I decided to savor this moment that was surely a dream, firmly holding onto the warmth in my hand.
“I think I had a nightmare.”
A terrible nightmare. Looking back, the thorny path that continued after meeting Joo Seolhyeon was an endless nightmare.
“Geez, who’s the older brother here?”
Jeonghyun, only a year younger than me, eventually hugged and patted me despite my childish behavior.
“You’re 22 now, hyung. It’s time to grow up.”
Hearing my brother’s gruff words, I swallowed my laughter inside.
What are you talking about? I’m 27 now…
Suddenly shocked, I broke away from Jeonghyun’s embrace.
“What? 22?”
“What’s wrong, hyung? Did you forget your own age?”
Watching Jeonghyun’s face grow serious, I unconsciously felt for my neck. The keepsake my mother had given me wasn’t there. Despite never having taken it off since receiving it as a gift at 17.
“What’s the date today?”
I asked Jeonghyun, though I was incredulous.
“April 24th. You’ve been singing about meeting your exclusive Guide for the first time today for a week now.”
For a moment, I almost foolishly asked again but barely managed to bite my tongue.
“Oh right, that’s not the point—hyung, you’re late!”
Jeonghyun, seemingly recalling the reason he had urgently woken me up, jumped even more than I did.
“How can you oversleep like this on the day itself? You said you had to be at the center by 9 AM!”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
