Chapter 39
“…Shall we go?”
I asked like someone in a daze. Kim Doyun looked at the house and nodded. But his gaze wouldn’t leave the house. When I asked if he knew someone there, he replied that he didn’t.
I tilted my head in confusion, then saw the clouds gathering thickly and pulled his arm. I was overflowing with curiosity, but if we stayed like this, we would get completely soaked in the rain that was about to pour. Only after I pulled his arm did Kim Doyun start moving. Wondering if he was still looking at the house, I turned my body halfway and met Kim Doyun’s eyes. He stared intently at my face and then smiled ambiguously. Is there something on my face? I rubbed it, but without a mirror, I couldn’t confirm whether something was on it or if I’d wiped it off. Kim Doyun looked alternately at my face once and then at the house once. For the first time, his face became complicated.
Kim Doyun was lost in thought the entire way. He didn’t even realize I had let go of his hand, and it was the same even when people hovered around us.
“Doyun-ssi.”
“Yes.”
He responded immediately, though he had been lost in thought. With a clean face, as if he had never been distracted. Despite the stares and whispers, he hadn’t even glanced at his surroundings, yet he responded immediately to my words. I wanted to believe it was because I was right beside him. But past memories pricked at my mind. Back then, I was too grateful to notice anything unusual, but thinking about it now, it was strange. Kim Doyun never spoke to people until they questioned him and didn’t even pay attention to them. But with me, he spoke first and extended his hand.
“Seongho-ssi?”
Kim Doyun approached me as I called out but then fell silent. I looked at him and distorted my expression. It was neither a smile nor a frown, so it probably looked like a truly damaged face.
“Are you in pain somewhere?”
Kim Doyun examined various parts of my body. He checked if I had a fever, if my hands were cold, and diligently looked for any injuries. This person just likes people…
“No, it’s nothing.”
I smiled while rubbing my tingling nose bridge.
* * *
After arriving in front of the house, I racked my brain for a moment. It was closer to a collapsed building than a house, but having laid down my body there for a while made it feel comfortable. I worried about whether the inside was dirty and mentally traced the interior. But after realizing that I had no belongings and that it was foolish to judge cleanliness in a half-destroyed building, I opened the door without delay. The door creaked and rattled.
“This is where I’m staying… it’s better than you might think.”
Kim Doyun passed through the doorway that barely brushed his crown and looked around inside. Dust swirled in the narrow gaps whenever the wind blew. I freshly looked around, following where Kim Doyun was exploring. But the smashed furniture lying feebly and the concrete heap that had been barely cleared away left nothing much to see.
Rumble.
The precursor to a downpour echoed from afar. It wasn’t loud, but it was enough to set one’s nerves on edge. Remembering Son Byung-chul urging us to prepare, I looked around. Before the rain poured down, I needed to either find firewood or chop wood. But Kim Doyun grabbed me, keeping me from moving forward or backward as I stood at the doorway.
“Doyun-ssi.”
“Yes.”
“Your hand…”
Though he hadn’t grasped it with all his might, my arm wouldn’t come free. I pointed outside and shook my arm, but Kim Doyun remained immovable. Rather, he seemed not to understand why I wanted to go out on such a day.
“The weather is cloudy, where are you trying to go?”
“Ah, to find some fuel…”
“Isn’t this enough?”
My head tilted at Kim Doyun’s sudden question. But my curiosity quickly subsided in the face of urgency. The sky rumbled again. This sound was louder, and even the wind swept through, shaking the leaves covering the roof. Thinking of the flimsy house, my heart began to stir. Even if I found firewood, the fire might be blown away by the raging rain and wind. Should I make some repairs now?
But when I looked up at the roof with concern, it was tightly covered with leaves and branches. The holes that had been so perforated just yesterday evening that the sky was visible were nowhere to be seen. It wasn’t just the roof. The walls and floor were also quite neatly arranged. Surprised, I looked around. Since things like furniture that caught the eye first remained the same, I hadn’t noticed. Kim Doyun pulled me, bewildered as I was. There was firewood stacked there. My mouth fell open.
“Why is this here…”
Firewood neatly stacked next to a collapsed pillar. There had been a little firewood there from the beginning. But those pieces of firewood were old, damp, and uneven, with a yellowish color inside. When making a fire, acrid smoke would rise, stinging the eyes. Moreover, the fire wouldn’t even catch properly.
But these pieces of firewood were showing off their brown flesh. They were dried firewood. I was happy, but I couldn’t just be happy in front of the firewood. From the building repairs to the firewood, who and for what purpose did this? Son Byung-chul crossed my mind. Why suddenly after neglecting it? Because Kim Doyun came?
“You look pale…”
“Ah, that’s… well. Things have become a bit troublesome.”
I tapped the firewood with my toe. Right on cue, it started raining. The raindrops that began to fall steadily beat against the roof and the ground. I poked my head out and looked up at the ceiling again. The flimsy roof woven with wood surprisingly didn’t leak, perhaps because of the leaves.
“Is it because of this?”
“…Hmm. Yes.”
“Is it very bad?”
“…I’m not sure. I don’t really know what’s what…”
Sudden kindness seems like there must be some scheme behind it. Come to think of it, giving me the hunting rifle is also a bit suspicious. Judging by Han Jong-wook’s reaction, I wonder if Son Byung-chul is the only one who differs in opinion from the others. I let out a deep sigh. Kim Doyun, who had been silently watching my state, picked up an armful of firewood.
“Then let’s use it.”
“What?”
“If there’s no answer no matter what you do, and either way it’s the same, then the comfortable option is better, right?”
Kim Doyun walked with large strides, looking for a place to make a fire. And he found a spot without difficulty. This was because broken concrete was spread in the center, and there were black marks where a fire had been lit before. He stacked the firewood neatly.
I rummaged through the inside of a broken piece of furniture and pulled out an old lighter. A cheap lighter with its lettering peeled off rolled around in my palm. I looked down at the lighter with a Chinese restaurant number half-erased for a moment. Thinking that lighters were now precious items and it would be good to keep one, I stuffed it into my pocket.
Thanks to the lighter, the fire caught easily, but worries flared up as intensely as the fire that caught on the firewood. The sound of rain grew increasingly intense. The areas repaired with leaves were still holding up firmly, but it was extremely precarious, so my head kept turning to look for the reinforced spots.
There were too many worries. Starting with the rain that was pouring down right now, to the monsters that might be wandering around the edges of the forest, to Jang Jae-gyeong who hadn’t returned, to the men. The anxiety in my heart began to leak out bit by bit.
Without realizing it, I started biting my lips. Even though I became aware of my hurting lips, I couldn’t stop. I didn’t use to have this habit, but the environment was turning me timid and sensitive. Then something warm touched my lips that I was gnawing on.
“You’ll hurt yourself.”
Kim Doyun rubbed my lips with his finger, preventing me from biting them. Because of his finger that followed even when I pulled my face away, I had no choice but to close my mouth. But Kim Doyun’s hand wouldn’t leave. He gently rubbed my lips and then looked at me. He seemed to be looking at my eyes, or perhaps at my forehead. When his fingers, which had been gently caressing with his thumb added, finally left, I exhaled a long breath.
“Don’t worry. Nothing bad will happen.”
He spoke as if soothing me. Then he grasped my shoulders and moved his hands in a steady rhythm. That comforting matched the sound of the rain and created a strange harmony with the bonfire. The peace that came before my embarrassment could even fade was unfamiliar, but not bad either. I blinked my suddenly drowsy eyes.
“Are you sleepy?”
“…What about you, Doyun-ssi?”
A yawn seemed about to escape. I closed my mouth as soon as I asked the question. Kim Doyun must be quite tired too. Unlike me who had stayed in one place, he had been trudging through the forest, so it might be even worse. I looked at Kim Doyun with concern, but his face was fine.
“Aren’t you tired?”
“I’m fine.”
There he goes again. I frowned at Kim Doyun who always said he was fine. I clicked my tongue and then looked at the only bed. And I quickly climbed onto the bed and gestured to Kim Doyun.
“Get some rest, even if just a little. Being cautious is good, but at this rate, you’ll collapse. What’s the use if you can’t move when strength is needed?”
I was uncomfortable because of what had happened today, but I pretended not to be. We weren’t a man and woman being proper, and it seemed silly to be reluctant to share a bed. And wouldn’t Kim Doyun dislike being involved with a man too? But health comes first. I gestured towards Kim Doyun and then patted the bed.
“I’m fi—”
“I’m not fine seeing you like this, so come quickly.”
And I spoke with feigned sternness. If left alone, he would probably say “I’m fine, I’m fine” and not sleep, standing night watch. Since he seemed like the type who would do more than that, I firmly resolved to drag him forcibly if he didn’t come.
“…Alright.”
Kim Doyun smiled and got up. I thought he would resist for a long time, but surprisingly, he accepted readily. I swallowed my surprise and quickly lay down on the bed, turned my body, and closed my eyes. I was planning to fall asleep quickly and cut off my nerves, but the sleep that had been pouring in haphazardly seemed to have gone on a trip, as it didn’t return.
There was a presence behind my back. Soon after, the bed made of leaves sank deeply. The hard bed, which seemed like it wouldn’t sink any further, screamed as two men lay on it. I burrowed into the blanket that had become damp with moisture. I could hear Kim Doyun’s breathing nearby. My nerves kept standing on end, and my shoulders became rigid with tension.
“…Sleep well.”
A ticklish voice poured into my ear. I was startled and tried to rub my ear, but the presence holding its breath had already left my side. I considered giving up the pretense of sleeping and turning around, but I didn’t dare for fear of meeting Kim Doyun’s eyes. Listening to the steady breathing behind my back and counting the time, at some point, I fell asleep using it as a lullaby.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
