<57>
“Wow, I never imagined this! Jaekyung. I’m not dreaming, am I?”
Jang Yeonhu, a head taller than Jaekyung, couldn’t hide his excitement as he seemed to float around. Of course, it wasn’t a dream. Even in dreams, such a hopeful situation couldn’t have appeared. Jaekyung deliberately forced strength into his constricting throat and replied nonchalantly, “Of course not.”
“I can’t believe it. To think they already knew we were meeting. Hmm, but thirteen years might be reasonable… You’ve managed to hold out without getting engaged at this age.”
“…”
“Hm? Why are you silent? Don’t tell me… you’re engaged to someone?”
“No. Engagement? No way.”
“Ah! Thank goodness. I was worried for a moment.”
It might have been better if there was an emotionally unattached fiancée. The moment Choi Eunseong’s innocent face came to mind, Jaekyung felt nauseous.
“From now on, we don’t need to be cautious. We can hold hands, go on dates…”
His eyes sparkled with anticipation, truly dazzling. As he naturally led the way to the garden, Jang Yeonhu kept chattering excitedly. A paradise that Jaekyung, with his limited imagination, hadn’t dared to envision was now unfolding before his eyes.
It seemed there had been a brief shower as the grass between his slippers felt damp. Insects chirped. The serene garden landscape wasn’t much different from when Jaekyung first came to this house.
At eleven, Han Jaekyung and Jang Yeonhu often ran around this garden playing their own version of tag. At sixteen, they liked to set up tents and take naps. At seventeen, they installed a large outdoor table where they diligently worked on school assignments and studied…
In the summer of their eighteenth year, they sought out the large tree to share brief kisses away from others’ eyes. The tree with its wide shade was always perfect for escaping attention.
His eyes burned with emotion. Everywhere his gaze fell was filled with memories of Jang Yeonhu. Jaekyung gradually slowed his steps.
“What’s wrong? Don’t like the wet ground? Want me to carry you?”
“No…”
“Or should I get you new shoes?”
“That’s not necessary either…”
“Hmm, why is our Jaekyung acting like this?”
Bending down to examine Jaekyung’s face, Jang Yeonhu’s eyes were infinitely tender. Despite the dimness, his face was as clear as daylight up close.
The slightly downturned eyes, neat facial lines, and straight forehead—every part of him was what Jaekyung had loved with all his heart. Impulsively, Jaekyung tightly embraced his neck, putting all his strength into it.
“Oh my. I was insensitive. I should have hugged you earlier, right?”
“…Yes, you idiot.”
The feeling of the large palm gently stroking the back of his head was indescribably wonderful. He already knew that fruit on the verge of falling is the sweetest. So how much time remained before being expelled from this thread-thin paradise?
With that thought, Jaekyung could no longer hold back his tears.
“Don’t cry, it’s a good day. Jaekyung. Won’t you show me your face?”
“…No. Just stay like this.”
He was right. It was a good day. An incomparably good day, but one that could never become reality. How could Jaekyung’s floodgates not burst open?
“Alright, I’m sorry. Let’s stay like this. It’s okay.”
Following Jaekyung’s sobs, Jang Yeonhu continuously stroked his hair and patted his back. Those affectionate touches were what thirty-one-year-old Jaekyung had already lost long ago. That’s why it felt so good, and why it was so painfully precious.
“It’s your fault, Jang Yeonhu, it’s all your fault…”
“Yes. It’s all my fault. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
Despite the sudden accusation, Jang Yeonhu wasn’t surprised and promptly apologized, embracing Jaekyung more tightly. The peaceful embrace and gentle comfort were no longer Jaekyung’s to claim. He had already resigned himself to giving them up to Choi Eunseong. Yet why did he still feel such lingering attachment? Why did he feel so resentful now?
Despite making the resolution to give up countless times, he simply couldn’t. After tasting it again, he couldn’t possibly stop. It wasn’t just about tasting; it wasn’t just about having it in his mouth. If possible, he wanted to swallow it whole in one gulp. Like this, he wanted to snatch away Jang Yeonhu… and their future together.
He had said he would give up, so why was it back in his mouth now? Why was it so achingly sweet? Why did it make him…
“…unable to even give up.”
“What are you saying? Surely you’re not talking about me?”
“…”
Jaekyung silently rubbed his tear-soaked cheek against Jang Yeonhu’s neck, while Yeonhu, seemingly distressed, hurriedly opened his mouth to comfort him.
“All the hard times are over now, so why are you like this, Jaekyung? Don’t give up on me. Don’t do that, take everything. Okay? I’m sorry. Whatever it is, it’s all my fault.”
His consistent submissiveness, apologizing first even without having done anything wrong, was both deeply moving and sorrowful. Han Jaekyung nodded repeatedly while shedding tears like a downpour. His panting breath was endlessly labored.
“I love you, Jaekyung.”
This wouldn’t do. He really couldn’t give him back. Since when had he become such a good and kind character? Wasn’t Han Jaekyung inherently rotten and selfish from the roots? He had no intention of denying it.
“Me too… I love you too, so very much.”
At his childlike tone, Jang Yeonhu seemed to melt with tenderness. “So very much?” he asked, his voice clearly containing laughter. Jaekyung nodded repeatedly and burrowed deeper into Jang Yeonhu’s embrace.
Han Jaekyung decided to reclaim his own personal pushover who loved him… to ensure that the thirty-one-year-old Jang Yeonhu, once his memories returned, would never even think of leaving Han Jaekyung again.
* * *
> [Attorney Han. Why haven’t you been in touch lately?]
> [Please call me as soon as you see this message.]
> [I’m asking you.]
> [How is hyung doing?]
> [If it’s not too much trouble, I’d like to meet at the company again on a day you’re working…]
For nearly a week now, the communications that used to come several times a day, or at least once every two days without fail, reporting on Jang Yeonhu’s condition, had ceased. Most fortunately for Han Jaekyung, Jang Yeonhu’s memories had not yet returned.
With a heavy heart, as Jaekyung was scrolling through his message inbox, he quickly stuffed his phone into his pocket at the sound of footsteps behind him and finished buttoning his jacket.
“What’s my boyfriend doing?”
“…Getting ready for work.”
The night the real play began. Jaekyung had decided to take Jang Yeonhu back, and since then had unilaterally ignored Choi Eunseong’s messages. He knew it was beyond cowardly—it was despicable. Thinking of Choi Eunseong, who was probably still anxiously waiting and believing in Han Jaekyung, he had nothing to say even with ten mouths.
“What? It’s already a work day? How did a week go by so quickly?”
His face, grumbling about not being able to follow along even though it wasn’t school, was adorable. Now Jang Yeonhu followed Jaekyung around inside the house, not caring who saw, and never letting go of his hand for even a moment.
He was so displeased with the mere one workday per week that today again he clung to Jaekyung’s back, continuously kissing his cheek and trying to coax him into skipping work to go on a date.
How embarrassing it was when Madam Yu, who was on her way to a flower class, caught them in the act. Yet Jang Yeonhu himself nonchalantly snorted at Madam Yu, who clicked her tongue and wondered how they had managed to hold back all this time.
The situation wasn’t resolved even by the time they reached the front door. Jang Yeonhu seemed ready to grab onto Jaekyung’s pant leg if it would prevent him from going to work. Jaekyung firmly shook off Jang Yeonhu’s hand, as if removing a disobedient puppy. Seeing his eyebrows droop with disappointment, Jaekyung couldn’t help but chuckle.
“I’ll be late today. I’ll probably have dinner out too.”
“So when will you be back?”
“Well… around 10:30?”
“That late?”
“Yes. That late.”
Jang Yeonhu complained about what kind of company would make someone work so much and told him to quit immediately and join the legal team at headquarters. Whether before or after losing his memory, this aspect of him remained exactly the same.
Though Jaekyung had resolved to take Jang Yeonhu back, he hadn’t learned nothing from his past experiences. There had to be something left for him even if he removed Jang Yeonhu from his life. Therefore, transferring to the group’s legal team would never happen.
“Don’t talk nonsense. You know I absolutely hate people who interfere with my work.”
“I know… How is it that you haven’t changed at all since high school?”
“Me?”
“Yes. If I disturbed your studying even a little bit, you’d completely change your attitude and chase me away. I thought that after graduating from university I wouldn’t be kicked out anymore, but this is even worse.”
“Be grateful. I was much worse when I was preparing for the bar exam.”
Unable to hold him back, Jang Yeonhu followed all the way down to the parking lot and lingered around until Jaekyung started the engine. Jaekyung lowered the driver’s side window halfway and beckoned Jang Yeonhu over.
“Dinner time, 6:30 to 8:00.”
“Huh…?”
“If you want a date, come at that time.”
“I can come?”
“Don’t if you don’t want to. I’m leaving.”
“Wait, Han Jaekyung…!”
Jang Yeonhu’s face, reflected in the side mirror, showed a mixture of confusion and joy. Jaekyung bit the tip of his tongue to keep from laughing.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
