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“Oh, wait a moment. Let me go order a drink first.”
Just when his mouth absolutely wouldn’t open, Choi Eunseong suddenly clapped his palms together as if remembering something, bolted up from his seat, and headed to the counter. Like a thief with a guilty conscience, Han Jaekyung felt cold sweat trickling down his back just from watching Eunseong’s figure, even though he was the one who had called him out.
He tried to hide his anxious feelings by downing his cold coffee in one gulp, but it was futile. Thump thump thump. His heart pounded so hard it hurt. Unaware of Jaekyung’s situation, Eunseong returned with a mocha topped with plenty of cream and spoke to him with pure brightness.
“I was actually hoping to meet you once, so thank you for calling me out.”
Their first meeting hadn’t been pleasant, he’d only been snippy during their formal introduction, and now he’d called him out like this without even explaining why—it should have been obviously uncomfortable. Yet Eunseong was the first to smile warmly and speak up. When his youthful face with deep dimples broke into a gentle smile, even the gloomily settled atmosphere seemed to brighten.
“We parted without properly greeting each other last time. Um, I don’t know if it’s okay for me to say this but…”
“Are you… feeling alright? I was really worried…” His round eyes, clouded with concern, clearly showed his worry for Jaekyung. He seemed completely innocent, never imagining in his dreams that a sharp, gleaming blade ready to pierce his heart was waiting menacingly in the chest of the villain sitting before him.
“…Yes. Thank you for your concern.”
If it had been his usual temperament, he would have snapped back sharply, telling him not to speak if he couldn’t distinguish what was appropriate to say. But Jaekyung was human too, and today he simply didn’t want to say anything worse to Eunseong. He was already playing a bad enough role.
“That’s a relief! Yeonhu hyung has been busy all week so I couldn’t even ask. I was also sorry, wondering if I’d only caused trouble by stepping in that day…”
The pink lips that continued speaking in gentle whispers were particularly plump. Large, docile eyes without double eyelids, plump lips, lively white cheeks. Jaekyung examined Eunseong’s features closely with just his gaze. He was quite adorably cute, but Jaekyung had a tendency to secretly look down on him in his heart, thinking his appearance couldn’t compare to his own. But now that he looked closely with interest, it seemed there wasn’t a single aspect that didn’t shine.
Jaekyung unconsciously stroked his own gaunt cheek with his dry palm. He’d never once in his life thought he’d lose in terms of looks, so why did his own appearance feel so pathetic today? Even the back of the hand holding his coffee cup looked disgustingly thin and bony.
“I was actually a bit surprised. But I was really happy that Lawyer Han contacted me first. Even before meeting you, hyung talked about you a lot.”
He said he was twenty-four—maybe it was because he was young? Was that why he was so fresh and youthful? But thinking about it, Jaekyung’s own twenty-four, spent just studying in the university library while getting nosebleeds, had never sparkled so brilliantly.
If it hadn’t been for Jang Yeonhu’s care—coming to the reading room punctually at meal times to buy him food, forcibly putting him in the car when closing time came, taking him home and watching over him like a guard until he fell asleep—he probably would have been hospitalized every other day.
“Oops. Sorry. I’ve been talking about myself the whole time. Please understand. I’m a bit talkative because I was raised by my grandmother.”
Facing Eunseong, who was grinning sheepishly and scratching his nape in embarrassment, Jaekyung felt unbearably shabby at this moment. Why, why had Yeonhu chosen Eunseong instead of him…? Why had Yeonhu, who had been so devoted, now chosen someone else? Why had he even proudly introduced him to others as his boyfriend? He finally understood.
It wasn’t simply because he was young, or simply because he was pretty or cute.
From head to toe, Eunseong and Jaekyung had not a single similarity. Since he was such a bright and lovable person, of course Yeonhu would be drawn to him. Didn’t they say that people of similar types naturally come together? Jaekyung had always thought that the reason he and Yeonhu lived in different worlds was simply due to their different economic backgrounds, but perhaps that had been terrible arrogance.
Someone whose perspective on the world was twisted in every way, who was insufferably difficult with everyone he met, who was just an empty shell with only a decent exterior—he had been a type destined never to be loved by anyone from the very beginning.
He had to acknowledge it. Even though it made his stomach churn sourly and irritated him to death, he had no choice but to acknowledge it or he couldn’t endure. For Yeonhu, who could smile more brilliantly than the sun with his back to the sky…
“Lawyer?”
This kind of person. Someone who could smile brilliantly together like this was more suitable for him.
“…”
Was he gradually becoming curious about why Jaekyung had called him? Avoiding Eunseong’s gaze as he tilted his head with sparkling clear eyes, Jaekyung hung his head low. Bile surged up from his stomach. It was a perfect defeat and a miserable heartbreak.
He’d been confident that Yeonhu would never leave his side. It was for that reason that he’d spent year after year clinging to his coattails without any intention of accepting his feelings. But if he’d known someone like this would appear before Yeonhu… If he’d known he would truly lose Yeonhu while he wallowed in arrogance. Rather, rather…!
“The reason I asked to meet today is, well…”
His voice, suppressed as if he’d endured long suffering, stubbornly refused to emerge from the narrow gaps of his vocal cords. The contrast between the completely disheveled Jaekyung and Eunseong’s expression floating with pure bewilderment became even more pronounced. This wouldn’t work. The words absolutely wouldn’t come out. Jaekyung pushed his hand into his jacket and first pulled out a thick envelope.
He knew it was wrong toward both Yeonhu and Eunseong. It would be a blatant lie to say his current actions weren’t mixed with base jealousy and inferiority complex toward Eunseong.
However, Jaekyung didn’t have the strength to refuse the fruit that Madam Yu had offered, even knowing it was a poisoned apple.
‘Jaekyung. You won’t disappoint me like Yeonhu did, will you? I’m only counting on our Jaekyung.’
That was a certain enormous life attitude that occupied most of Jaekyung’s life. It was unfortunate for Eunseong, but it was an unavoidable problem.
“…Open it.”
Having pulled out the money envelope first, it was actually easier to break the ice. Eunseong tilted his head in the opposite direction and picked up the envelope Jaekyung had offered. His pupils froze coldly the moment he confirmed the contents. From Jaekyung’s perspective, being over thirty, he might call him young, young, but in reality, Eunseong, who would graduate college next year, wasn’t completely clueless either.
Seeing the expensive gifts Yeonhu gave him and the high-end restaurants he took him to on every date, he must have vaguely realized Yeonhu’s background too… He probably had prepared himself that such a moment would come someday, though he wouldn’t have expected it to be Jaekyung, supposedly Yeonhu’s most trustworthy friend, offering him a money envelope.
“It shouldn’t be insufficient, but if you’re not satisfied, please contact me.”
“Lawyer. Right now, this is… Is this the kind of situation I’m thinking of? Is that why you told me to come out without hyung knowing?”
“Since you understand quickly, it’ll be convenient for both of us. Yes, exactly right. The kind of situation you’re thinking of.”
“Ha…! How could you, Lawyer…! Hyung trusted you so much.”
The round eyes that had been merely gentle and docile just moments before hardened quite fiercely. Since the water had already spilled, he had to push through to the end without hesitation. Jaekyung clenched his fist tightly under the table without showing any agitation.
“I don’t know how much you know, but Yeonhu’s family… isn’t just at the level of having some money. And the adults in that family aren’t the type to be so uninterested in their child that they’d overlook Yeonhu dating a man, even if they considered it momentary fooling around.”
Having earned a living through eloquence for several years now, once Jaekyung made up his mind, his tongue moved smoothly, making his previous hesitation seem pointless.
“Momentary… fooling around?”
“Why? Did I say something wrong?”
“Hey, Han Jaekyung!”
Bang! Eunseong, who struck the table with his fist, looked extremely angry. His jaw trembled as he bit his lips hard from the force he’d used.
“Don’t be too disappointed and just think of it as having had a good dream for a few months. Even calculating by hourly wage, it’s not an amount where you’d be at a loss.”
What, surely… You didn’t really think you could hold onto Yeonhu with just that much, did you? The words that followed dryly, as if he wasn’t being sarcastic but just stating facts point by point, were even more cruel. Jaekyung found it difficult to distinguish how much of what he was saying was sincere and how much was pretense.
“You’ll spend the remaining internship period in a different department. I hope you won’t lose the good fortune you’ve gained by running your mouth carelessly.”
“Ha, haha, ha…”
Whether Jaekyung’s words, wrapped tightly in reason like an iron wall, were absurd, Eunseong burst into hollow laughter and slumped down. Even though he was the one who had inflicted the wound, Jaekyung felt his chest turn cold and didn’t have the confidence to stay in this place any longer.
“Then I’ll consider this matter settled. We won’t have any more business with each other.”
After delivering the final confirmation shot, he was about to get up from his seat as if fleeing, when suddenly from somewhere,
“No, Jaekyung. That won’t do.”
A coldly sunken voice flew in like a blade. A large stone dropped heavily into the center of his chest.
“Lift your head, Eunseong. What did you do wrong to be like that?”
“Yeon, Yeonhu hyung…”
Eunseong, who had been sharply bristling with thorns, immediately began shedding tears the moment he saw Yeonhu approaching and gently embracing his shoulders. Like a child who had been bullied by thugs and burst into sorrow upon meeting their guardian.
“…Jang Yeonhu. I, well… So that’s…”
“Enough. Don’t say anything. Even if it’s you, I’m not in a mood to forgive right now.”
Yeonhu, who had always appointed himself as Jaekyung’s protector, naturally stood beside Eunseong and tenderly wiped away his tears.
“Eunseong, don’t listen to useless talk. Whatever Jaekyung said, it’s all lies. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. Okay? So don’t cry. I was wrong.”
To repeat: this moment was Jaekyung’s perfect defeat and miserable heartbreak.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
