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In the end, he never made it to the break room and spent all his time just standing alone in the emergency stairwell. His head only ached more. Upon returning to his desk, Han Jaekyung popped a few painkillers he carried around for his habitual migraines. The rest of his work day was surprisingly smooth. There were no more messages from Jang Yeonhu that had been irritatingly pushing in on him, nor did Yeonhu appear at the entrance of the Legal Team with his boyfriend in tow asking to have lunch together.
Despite it being a normal distance appropriate for ordinary acquaintances, Jaekyung couldn’t quite accept the reality. Even after that nightmarish night had passed and a new sun had finally risen, Yeonhu offered no excuses or explanations. The reason was obvious. It wasn’t because he was some pathetic Han Jaekyung who acted like a boyfriend only when he needed it, then retreated with an annoying smirk saying “we’re just friends” when he got bored. It was because Yeonhu—yes, “that” Yeonhu—had found a real boyfriend.
The bubbling feeling in his chest was too turbulent to simply dismiss as anger or regret, but Jaekyung decided not to examine it closely and hurriedly swallowed it down with his medicine. It was a decidedly cowardly attitude of not wanting to recognize the true value of what he had willingly thrown away. Yes, Jaekyung was a coward. He had lived his entire life as a coward and weakling. For someone who had nothing to his name, struggling not to be intimidated among a species of humans who lived entirely absorbed in their own self-importance, there was no other way.
He preferred to be a shining fake than a shabby genuine article. It was the same with Yeonhu.
That summer when he was eighteen, frantically trying to hide his heart that felt like it would burst. Less than a hundred days after confirming their feelings for each other and becoming lovers, Yeonhu and Jaekyung would immediately embrace and kiss whenever they sensed few people around, regardless of time and place, whether at school or at home.
It seems he had known early on that Yeonhu liked him romantically. Though he couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment, he just knew. Young Jaekyung, whose blood had barely dried on his head, felt his heart race blindly at that fact.
How could he not love that gentle boy who stretched out his hand with a sun-like smile against the backdrop of the sky?
That brief period when they started their clumsy romance without any calculation or worry was truly the most brilliant and precious time of all the days Jaekyung had lived. But in the end, a long tail gets stepped on. No matter how clever they pretended to be, the teenage boys’ romance, protected within their sheltered environment, was soon discovered. And in quite a dramatic fashion at that.
It happened during their English tutoring session. The instructor had stepped out of the study for a short break, and without fail, the two sat closer together, kissing cheeks, resting foreheads on shoulders, and giggling. Even without saying anything special, just being next to each other made them laugh as if their lungs were filled with air. The air that touched them felt warm and ticklish, almost bringing tears to their eyes. There was clearly a time when Jaekyung had experienced such a season.
The problem was that Chairman Noh, who had returned early from a business trip that day, immediately headed to the study to see his favorite grandson as soon as he arrived at the mansion.
Naturally, the entire household was thrown into chaos. Madam Kang, who had only been slightly displeased at first but had always warmly welcomed Jaekyung since he entered the mansion, was furious, ranting about how a fox-like creature had crept in and seduced her precious grandson. His uncle, who had done nothing wrong, became the criminal in Jaekyung’s place, kneeling before the chairman and his wife, repeatedly banging his forehead and pleading. It was just innocent children playing with fire, please continue to support our Jaekyung’s studies, I’ll scold them severely so this never happens again, and so on and so forth. Jaekyung had never seen his uncle like that before.
It was strange. Clearly, they had started the relationship together, but once discovered, only Jaekyung was driven to the edge.
Come hell or high water, Yeonhu was still their precious young master, while Jaekyung, who until just the day before had been “the good and diligent Jaekyung student who studies hard despite difficult circumstances,” suddenly became an unparalleled black-haired beast.
What’s more, the adults never raised their voices at Yeonhu. They didn’t want to stress out the “already” sensitive exam student over “just” this matter.
His uncle knelt. Jaekyung faced the crisis of possibly being thrown out onto the street the very next day due to Madam Kang’s furious demands.
For Jaekyung, who had left the orphanage holding his uncle’s hand and had grown like a greenhouse flower under Yeonhu’s protection, it was a life-or-death crisis. Yet for Yeonhu, it was “just” such a matter, less important than exam stress.
“Jaekyung, should we… go somewhere far away and live together? I’d be fine with just having you.”
So one can easily imagine how irritating it was for Jaekyung when Yeonhu, who didn’t even properly understand the gravity of the situation, sneaked in at night and whispered such proposals while glancing at his grandfather.
At that very moment, Jaekyung willingly decided to abandon Yeonhu and accept Chairman Noh’s offer. The chairman had presented Jaekyung with two choices:
Would he break up amicably and live well with the family’s support, or would he continue this immature teenage romance and end up on the street with his uncle? Even if he chose the latter, there was no certainty how long that insignificant romance would last.
Jaekyung cared for Yeonhu well enough, but he loved his only blood relative and himself incomparably more. When placing Jaekyung’s bright future and his romance with Yeonhu on a scale, it was all the more clear which way the balance would tip.
“Yeonhu, I’ve been thinking… I think we should just be friends.”
“W-what? Jaekyung, I think I misheard—”
“You didn’t mishear. I’m tired of dating you. I want to stop.”
The moment of their breakup is still vivid in his memory. Despite the breakup being initiated by his own words, Jaekyung felt a surge of bile from a sense of betrayal he had no right to feel. Yeonhu couldn’t easily accept it and kept trying to persuade Jaekyung. Of course, all attempts failed. Even after that, Yeonhu continued to like Jaekyung. Since Jaekyung’s feelings hadn’t completely changed either, he didn’t reject Yeonhu who volunteered to be his sucker.
It was just academic stress, just sexual curiosity… I was just playing around with a close friend. Nothing to be alarmed about.
The adults settled the entire relationship between the two with just a few words that Jaekyung uttered. All the kindness and goodwill surrounding Jaekyung returned to the way they were before. Perhaps they didn’t entirely believe that nonsensical excuse. But what mattered to them was the shell covering the relationship between the two. As long as Jaekyung knew his place and didn’t step forward calling it dating or being lovers, as long as he stayed flat on the ground as “just a friend” without interfering with Yeonhu’s future… That level of disgusting tolerance they were willing to turn a blind eye to.
If Jaekyung had been even a speck of a threat to them, if he had been as irritating as a hangnail under the fingernail, perhaps such pretenses wouldn’t have worked at all. But to Yeonhu and his family, Jaekyung was merely “Han Jaekyung” — someone starved for affection, with nothing to his name, indebted to their pity with his naked and hungry heart. Just that, Han Jaekyung.
From their perspective, Yeonhu volunteering to be Jaekyung’s servant was merely Yeonhu devoting himself to a toy he was attached to, or cherishing a pretty pet. That was the extent of their sentiment.
So Jaekyung gritted his teeth and vowed. He would remain Yeonhu’s closest “friend” forever, sucking his goodwill down to the bone. He would show them at least that much and turn the chairman and his wife’s stomachs, even just a little.
But in the end, what was this? What Jaekyung had vowed was never the dictionary definition of friendship, yet when he came to his senses, Yeonhu had already demoted him to a real friend and boldly presented a different boyfriend.
“Have you seen him? Assistant Manager Jang from the Planning Team?”
“Oh…! I wasn’t the only one who noticed. He’s wearing the same clothes as yesterday, right?”
“Yes, yes. If it was just the suit, I wouldn’t be sure, but the shirt, tie, even the tie pin are all the same.”
“Maybe the rumors about him having a girlfriend are true… Did he stay out overnight then?”
“I don’t know, why would I know? Anyway, they say the best-looking rice cakes always belong to someone else, and that old saying is spot on.”
Even in the company cafeteria, where he had come down thinking he should eat something to soothe his burning stomach, he couldn’t escape topics about Yeonhu and his boyfriend. Jaekyung ground his teeth while stirring the spicy stir-fried octopus that looked like it would sting his tongue just by looking at it. Where had he slept with that precious boyfriend that he couldn’t even change his clothes? Could it be… Had he gone to Choi Eunseong’s house? Is that why he couldn’t change his clothes?
“Jang Yeonhu, that crazy bastard…”
“Hmm? What about me?”
“Eek…!!”
They say speak of the devil and he appears—Yeonhu suddenly appeared, thrusting his face right in front of Jaekyung. He almost habitually spewed out curses. Barely stopping the scream that was about to escape from his startled heart, Jaekyung glared ahead with displeasure and spoke curtly.
“What the hell. You scared me.”
“Oh my, I came down thinking you’d order this. You went to bed late yesterday, this will upset your stomach. You didn’t eat breakfast either, right?”
Sitting down across from him, Yeonhu took away Jaekyung’s tray, which he had barely touched, and pushed forward a different menu that he had brought. In terms of spiciness, it was the complete opposite of the stir-fried octopus—a mild soybean paste stew.
Just a moment ago, although he had chosen a favorite menu, he had no appetite, but now he found himself craving this pale broth that he normally wouldn’t even look at. Taking a slurp, the savory, rich taste lingering on the tip of his tongue was quite delicious. After mixing rice into it and taking a few spoonfuls, Jaekyung, hoping to appear as nonchalant as possible, casually threw out a question.
“Hey, but… your clothes are the same as yesterday. What’s with that? Did your butler just let you go out like that?”
Fortunately, his tone was natural.
“Ah. This?”
Yeonhu, who was mixing the confiscated stir-fried octopus with rice, briefly glanced at his outfit as if it were no big deal, then smiled slightly and answered.
“Why are you pretending not to know, Jaekyung? I didn’t sleep at my house last night. You know that.”
…Damn it. He shouldn’t have asked. His appetite dropped instantly.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
