#025
“This!”
“This?”
“This. I brought it for Ranho-ssi to eat. Coffee and ade. I only put a little ice in it.”
A carrier with coffee and drinks side by side was placed in my hands, and
“These are cookies and madeleines. Oh, this is a scone. I put strawberry jam inside too, so make sure to eat it with that. The jam is really delicious. And… the cake is something I made.”
“You know how to make bread too?”
“What’s with you, I may look like this but I have a baker’s license.”
Ban Hajoon answered cheekily while putting on airs. I thought he was just a boss in name only, but apparently that wasn’t the case either.
“It’ll be delicious. You can’t eat cake I made unless you order it.”
Ju Isin suddenly butted in between his confident voice.
“You really like it, huh? Hyung, do you like bread?”
“I like it. More than rice, sometimes.”
I opened the paper bag to check the cake. Despite being tired, saliva pooled in my mouth. But wait, did he bring it as slice cake? I couldn’t quite judge whether I was being petty for expecting a whole cake, or if Ban Hajoon was being stingy for only bringing a few slices of different types.
I just give away flower bouquets freely. Of course, I did overcharge a bit…
“Thank you.”
Still, since these are all things I like, for now…
“I didn’t know what you’d like, so I brought different types. Try them and tell me which ones were delicious. I’ll make them specially for you.”
I take back what I said about being stingy. I nodded my head up and down vigorously. I felt a newfound intimacy toward Ban Hajoon that hadn’t been there before.
I should go home, wash up, eat cake instead of dinner, and sleep.
As I found myself grinning without realizing it, a large hand reached out and gently stroked my hair with a swoosh- swoosh-.
“It’s the first time I’ve seen you smile.”
“……”
“When you smile, you’re more…”
Ban Hajoon’s eyes curved prettily. More?
Why did he stop mid-sentence? When I blinked, the hand that had been gently stroking gradually stopped.
“Just. Go inside. Make sure to eat dinner.”
The hand that had been resting on my head fell away and Ban Hajoon stepped back. Ju Isin’s expression crumpled at his ticklish behavior. Right, it is a bit cringeworthy. Does being handsome excuse everything? I still felt the lingering ticklish sensation, so I shook my head slightly and raised my hand.
“Both of you go. See you laaaater.”
I hung the shopping bag on my hand and waved it.
“Hyung, you go in first.”
“Right, Ranho-ssi should go first.”
The two picture-perfect men stood shoulder to shoulder, fluttering their hands in waves. Close enough that anyone watching would think they were friends.
***
The time it took to return home, wash, and fall asleep was unreasonably short. Where did I disappear to, the me who had sworn to eat the cake Ban Hajoon had prepared? My body, warmed by hot water, fell straight onto the fluffy bed.
The drop in my condition felt enormously significant.
On the bed that would have granted me deep sleep any other time, I couldn’t sleep properly even a wink all night, groaning and suffering.
Whether it was a side effect of meeting Gangmin, whom I had desperately tried to avoid, the content of the novel I knew took shape and tormented me all night.
In that dream as vivid as reality, I had to watch as a witness, not a participant, everything that Seo Ranho would have experienced.
Knowing only the name versus knowing his face was a world of difference. The scenes that had been described in text all took form as if a play button had been pressed, replaying more realistically. For instance, the face that looked more innocent than fierce contorting when committing violence, the thick, large hands swinging widely through the air, the sound of impact like something bursting, the gaze that evoked déjà vu.
Violence that continued persistently, acts resembling violence. The bruises covering the limp body, Gangmin laughing with a horrible face as if he had branded an indelible mark, and I screamed sounds that could never reach him while watching. Several times I woke up, leaving only Seo Ranho alone in that terrible dream.
“…Horrible.”
When I closed my eyes, moisture I hadn’t even known was there streamed down along my eye corners. Even when I kept my eyes wide open, afraid to fall asleep, I would fall asleep at some point and become a witness again, placed in the same location, in a place where different situations endlessly repeated.
With each repetition, Seo Ranho withered and crumbled. He grew weak and lost his will. The innocent face that had chattered “Our Gangmin isn’t that kind of kid” no longer had any emotion left in it.
‘Horrible.’
A familiar voice rang out. As if resigned, as if giving up, with an indifferent face and scab-crusted lips parting to make a small sound. The moment my eyes met with Seo Ranho as he raised his head, as if that were some medium to wake from the dream, my heavy eyelids snapped open.
“Ah.”
I made a sound with my throat.
“…Ah.”
Did I really wake from the dream? Wasn’t this also an extension of that horrible situation? I rolled my eyes busily, looking around. I rubbed my sweaty forehead and barely blinked to clear my unclear vision. With my restless movement, the thick sheets made a rustling sound as they crumpled.
“Dawn has broken.”
The sky had turned bluish with daybreak. Though I seemed to have lain down quite early and slept for a long time, I hadn’t slept long or deeply, so I was in poor condition. Rubbing my rough cheek from fatigue, I walked toward the bathroom. With the light that switched on with a pop-, the man in the revealed mirror resembled the one I had seen in my dream.
“I’m tired.”
I examined my listless, lifeless state. My voice had gone hoarse from groaning all night, and all the blood vessels in my eyes had burst. My originally pale skin had only reddened under my eyes while turning ghastly pale – anyone could see I was a sick person.
“…Should I rest?”
I seriously considered it. But there was clearly a reason I couldn’t. If only it weren’t for the bouquet… I squeezed toothpaste onto my toothbrush in a long line and put it straight in my mouth.
***
In a mental state as if fog had settled, I bought the flowers I had pre-ordered and impulsively bought several more types of flowers. Smelling the flower fragrance that filled the car to a dizzying degree, I arrived in front of the store without knowing how I got there. I parked the car on the shoulder with hazard lights on and opened the trunk. I stood still, looking at the back seats I had completely folded down to load the flowers without damaging the petals.
I’m crazy. I bought way too many. When am I going to unload all of this?
“Ah, but why is it so dark?”
I put my hands on my hips and looked up at the sky, wondering if the day was overcast, then realized. I hadn’t taken off my sunglasses.
“So stupid.”
I’d been acting like an idiot since morning. Sighing deeply, I carefully gathered the flowers in my arms so they wouldn’t overlap. I decided to move the blue irises and Juliet roses I had ordered for bouquets first. I held one bundle in each arm and walked. Only after I had stopped in front of the store did I realize I only had two hands.
I could feel how I’d been acting like a complete fool.
“Haah… I don’t want to put the flowers down.”
I thought while stopped in front of the door. Today especially… I just… want to go home. Flowers and everything else be damned.
It was when my head had dropped toward the ground.
“Boss.”
An unfamiliar voice came from behind. The moment I reflexively turned my head toward where the sound came from, my body’s obviously stiff reaction wasn’t something I could hide.
“Ah, hello.”
“There was no contact. So I came.”
With an innocent-looking expression, he smiled at me and reached out to arbitrarily take the blue irises I was holding. As if to let me know my hand was free, he gestured with his chin and called me “Boss” again.
“Ah, ah… it’s fine, wait, it’s fine.”
I moved my hands while rambling incoherently. When I disarmed the security system and opened the door, Gangmin walked inside more naturally than I did.
“Is this where I put them?”
“…Yes. Th-thank you.”
Following him inside, I passed by Gangmin a bit late. Of all times to meet him, it had to be after being tormented by such dreams all night. I instinctively cursed at the shitty timing.
Still wearing sunglasses, we faced off with the table between us. For some reason I didn’t know, Gangmin’s gaze wasn’t entirely pleasant.
“Did you come to buy flowers?”
“That’s how it looks, I guess.”
It doesn’t look that way. Honestly speaking, Gangmin looked like someone who had come to collect a debt that didn’t even exist.
“I’m sorry, but I want to think about the part-time job a bit more. I think it would be better for me to hire a florist instead.”
Gangmin nodded his head quite easily, accepting the words I had blurted out in an unstable voice. His small pupils compared to his eyes scanned me suspiciously.
“Sure, whatever. Since I don’t know about flowers, I’ll accept that, but…”
“……”
“Why are you so scared? You were like that during the interview too. Boss, do you know me from somewhere?”
Gangmin’s face came close, about a span’s distance away, as he leaned his upper body forward with his hands on the table. His small pupils compared to his eyes rolled around quickly, as if gauging whether there were signs I was hiding something. When I couldn’t even breathe properly and my shoulders trembled, his slightly parted lips curved crookedly.
“I’m not scary enough to make you this afraid.”
“I’ll return your resume.”
With movements that weren’t natural at all, I pulled my upper body back. The moment I turned away, thinking I wished he would just leave, Gangmin’s hand reached out.
“Where are you going, Boss? I’m talking to you.”
“Ah…!”
Around the time I felt pain in my wrist that he had roughly grabbed, wind chimes rang clearly. When my gaze went behind his back, Gangmin’s brow furrowed deeply. The tightly closed entrance opened and the man who appeared like a savior was someone who had become familiar to the point of being completely familiar.
“Your car engine wasn’t turned off. That…”
“…Welcome.”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
