Chapter 65
Juha and Yunha had an ordinary sibling relationship without any particular affection—they fought and picked on each other, so they never asked favors of one another.
“No, I mean Choi Taeri’s autograph…”
Yunha’s voice became much smaller, seemingly embarrassed herself.
“Ha, really. It’s not even my autograph—why are you asking me for Choi Taeri’s autograph?”
Juha was so flabbergasted he could barely speak properly.
“I don’t need your autograph.”
“…Fine. Go to school and tell them you don’t have an oppa.”
Juha turned back to face the wall, lay down, and pulled the blanket over himself.
His mood was already hitting rock bottom comparing busy Taeri with his own idleness, and now even his sister was acting like this, making him unusually spiteful.
“Are you sulking?”
Yunha poked his back with her finger.
“…”
“Oppa, get me Choi Taeri’s autograph. You’re close with Choi Taeri.”
Yunha approached Juha lying on his side and shook his body like a whining child.
“Ugh, no…”
Juha turned his head in annoyance but stopped speaking. Yunha’s expression was serious.
“Hey, Lee Yunha! Is something wrong?”
Juha bolted upright in bed and straightened his posture.
“No, nothing’s really wrong…”
At her oppa’s intense reaction, Yunha awkwardly scratched her neck.
Juha and Yunha—the Ha siblings had never come home beaten up since childhood. Juha was relatively quiet and patient, but Yunha had been the type since kindergarten who wouldn’t be satisfied until she fought and beat the kids who tried to bully her.
When she felt she couldn’t handle it alone, she’d boldly shout, “Hey, Lee Juha! Come beat up XX with me!” So her oppa Juha had never worried about her until now.
“Tell me honestly. Is something wrong?”
“Ah, it’s just… I never said you were my oppa, but somehow the kids found out… They keep saying you and Choi Taeri are just putting on an act for concept.”
Yunha hemmed and hawed as she reported what had happened at school.
“Ha, really.”
They should doubt what’s worth doubting.
Juha let out a hollow laugh. Well, the fan reactions always said Juha was riding on Taeri’s coattails, so he could understand her classmates’ reactions.
“No, I really tried to just endure it, but they kept spouting nonsense about concept and stuff. I thought maybe if I got Choi Taeri’s autograph directly and showed it to them, they might shut up…”
Yunha uncharacteristically mumbled her words. The reason for getting Choi Taeri’s autograph was to silence the false rumors about her oppa.
“They’re not bullying you, are they?”
Juha asked with suspicious eyes.
“Hey, bullying? Who’s bullying who? Don’t you know me yet?”
At the word ‘bullying,’ Yunha spat out words as if incredulous. Well, Lee Juha knew Lee Yunha’s personality best.
Though it was awkward that Yunha’s request was for her oppa’s sake, he couldn’t refuse.
“…Alright. But if anything happens, tell me first. Got it? If they say weird stuff again, record it and report it to teachers or whoever. I’m talking about reporting school violence.”
Juha spoke to Yunha with a stern expression.
“School violence, what? Why are you overreacting?”
“And next time, just leave it alone even if others badmouth your oppa. You badmouth me all the time—won’t others badmouth me too?”
“Ah, come on. Don’t overreact. Just get me Choi Taeri’s autograph. I’m leaving.”
Finding Juha’s concern awkward, Yunha roughly spat out her words and left his room. Juha stared at the door his sister had left through, lost in thought.
‘Is she really okay?’
With Lee Yunha’s original personality, if she fought, she fought—there’s no way she’d just take a beating from anyone. Still, as her oppa, he was genuinely worried.
If you become an idol, the most important thing is your mentality.
Juha recalled a community post he’d read before. Watching people mass-produce and spread things that never happened as if they were real, Juha learned that even where there’s no fire, smoke can rise.
Though Juha himself knew it wasn’t true, he kept worrying that young Yunha might be bullied.
Though Yunha spoke bluntly, he could feel concern for her oppa in her words, which was a bit endearing. Getting Taeri’s autograph wasn’t difficult for Juha. It was just annoying because it was his sister’s request.
The current time was 8 PM.
It was just the time when all of Taeri’s family would have gathered at his grandfather’s house.
He imagined Taeri’s whole family having dinner at a rich family’s large dining table, then harmoniously watching the broadcast featuring Taeri, but quickly erased it from his mind.
‘What kind of relationship does he have with his family anyway?’
Thinking of Taeri, who darkened whenever family was mentioned, his mind was full of questions.
* * *
Unlike his displeased grandfather and father, the other family members looked pleased. Taeri’s cousin Choi Taeyoung was enthusiastically explaining the previous broadcast to grandfather.
“So when Taeri was eliminated, all the contestants were shocked. They wondered if he’d really be eliminated, but when his name wasn’t called even in the revival round, I was startled too. Taeri is our family’s pride…”
Taeyoung’s last words were full of sarcasm.
The reason for bringing up a broadcast from several weeks ago at this gathering was clearly to embarrass Taeri in front of the family, especially grandfather.
“Well, he’s still our family after all.”
Choi Taeyoung’s mother, Taeri’s paternal aunt, chimed in nastily.
“What would have happened if it wasn’t for the lucky key at the end, right Taeri?”
At Taeyoung’s question, Taeri poked at his rice bowl with chopsticks without answering.
“I’m looking forward to today’s broadcast too, Taeri.”
“You’ll get first place this time, right?”
“You shouldn’t be too arrogant though. What if you have to write another apology? Ugh, watching that was a bit embarrassing.”
“Geez, Taeyoung, stop it! Taeri, your injured leg is okay, right?”
Just as Taeyoung was about to go off the rails, his mother stopped him and changed the subject. However, that topic wasn’t pleasant either.
“Yes, well…”
Unable to ignore an adult’s question, Taeri forced an answer.
“Right, if Taeri doesn’t get first place, who will? Ho ho ho.”
As his aunt’s voice rose, Taeri’s mood became even more unpleasant.
“Right, performing like a clown suits you better than rotting in medical school.”
“Wouldn’t it be uncomfortable for you if I entered medical school? You’d be compared to me again.”
Taeri smiled sharply as he spoke to Taeyoung.
“Ha, what medical school could you get into after fooling around all this time?”
“Even if I fool around, I’m better than you—don’t you know that best?”
Taeri dropped his spoon into the soup bowl and set it on the table. Though his words contained hostility, his tone was gentle.
“What, what? Just stick to what you’ve been doing. You never know, right? Getting eliminated with some nobody, hup!”
Choi Taeyoung suddenly realized he was in front of grandfather and covered his mouth.
“That’s enough. Let’s stop dinner for today.”
Taeri’s grandfather Choi Giseok put down his spoon with a thud as if he didn’t want to hear more. This was different from his usual attitude of carefully finishing even dessert.
When Choi Giseok, the eldest, stood up, all family members stopped eating and stood.
“Rest well.”
Taeri, who had become today’s dinner table sacrifice, greeted expressionlessly. When Choi Giseok entered his room, everyone sighed with relief.
Choi Giseok, who had even served as the president’s personal physician, was more frightening when he didn’t speak than when he did. Though his intentions were hard to read, the dinner that ended with his displeasure was burdensome for kids and adults alike.
“Let’s go. It’s late.”
Taeri’s father Choi Junghyeok walked out with big strides, his face hardened. Behind him followed Taeri’s mother Ji Inhui and Taeri.
Standing in front of the parked car, Choi Junghyeok suddenly turned around and glared at Taeri.
“Do I have to see this fucking mess next week too?”
At his father Choi Junghyeok’s words, Taeri’s steps stopped abruptly.
“Honey…”
When his mother Ji Inhui tried to stop him by grabbing his arm, Choi Junghyeok shook her off roughly.
“If you’re not going to get first place, quit right now. When you went to arts high school, I only let you go because you said you’d get first place. If you can’t get first place this time either, never dream of being an entertainer again! I’ll send you to medical school no matter what it takes. Fuck, having one kid who does nothing but chase pipe dreams all day.”
Choi Junghyeok glared at his son like he was looking at a bug.
Taeri kept his gaze down and listened to his verbal abuse.
It wasn’t the first time he’d heard it. These were words more familiar than lullabies since very early childhood, so they didn’t even hurt anymore. When his father left, those brutal words would also shatter and disappear in the air. Having realized long ago that his father wasn’t someone he could win against in a fight, Taeri deflected those words as if they weren’t his own even while listening to the verbal abuse.
While Choi Junghyeok headed to the driver’s seat fuming, Ji Inhui approached Taeri.
“Taeri, want to sleep at mom’s house today?”
“No.”
Even knowing this would provoke his father, Ji Inhui invariably asked Taeri to come home every time they met.
“Don’t let that bastard set foot in our house! You come here. You figure out how to get home yourself. Walk or whatever!”
As expected.
Choi Junghyeok shouted, then personally opened the door, put Ji Inhui in the passenger seat, and disappeared.
“Haa…”
Taeri bit his lip and looked at the distant mountains. His father’s verbal abuse aside, what was harder was his mother who pretended to care for Taeri but never stopped his father.
The relatives’ cars came out one after another in front of him standing there pitifully. Choi Taeyoung and his mother and father stopped their car in front of Taeri.
“Taeri, where are you going? Should we give you a ride home?”
The relatives also knew that since childhood, whenever Taeri didn’t please his father Choi Junghyeok, he faced verbal abuse and confinement.
“No, I’m fine.”
“Okay then, get home safely.”
“Be careful going home.”
Even in this situation, Taeri bowed and greeted them. The luxury cars lined up mockingly and left the road.
‘Taxis don’t come by often here…’
Choi Giseok’s house was located after winding up the foothills of Mt. Bukhan for quite a while, so even calling a taxi would require waiting at least 20 minutes. It was almost 10 PM now, getting dusky, and it had started drizzling rain. Every situation made Taeri feel infinitely miserable.
His family had been a prestigious medical family for generations since Western medicine was first introduced.
Non-doctors were at minimum legal professionals, and children born into this family also mostly entered medical and law schools.
A life where your future is decided from birth. To Taeri, it was like a prison.
Choi Junghyeok was the eldest of three brothers and entered Seoul National University’s medical school as valedictorian and graduated as valedictorian. And he married his mother, who graduated as salutatorian alongside him. It was a perfectionist’s perfect life. Until Taeri stepped forward saying he wanted to do dance.
For them, their son becoming a doctor was too natural, but just thinking about becoming a doctor made Taeri’s stomach churn.
The words that he should give up if he’s not first in auditions. The more he mulled it over, the more nausea rose.
“Ha, shit… I’m going crazy.”
Compared to his family’s pressure, the fierce audition competition felt as light as going on a picnic.
What his parents ultimately wanted was for Taeri to be unable to endure the family’s mockery and give up the idol path. That’s why they dragged him to dinner gatherings every time, knowing he’d become prey. Every time he faced his family, Taeri felt increasingly pushed to the edge of a cliff. He was precariously stepping backward, while his family poked at Taeri with sticks for fun.
Twenty years old. It wasn’t too late to go to medical school now. Even when doing dance, it was on the condition that he receive science tutoring, so both the family and Taeri himself knew he could enter that prestigious medical school even if he prepared right now.
‘What’s the point of that?’
Stage, lights, free dance, music, songs, colleagues.
Already knowing the taste of passion and ecstasy for all this, it felt too unfair to think of being trapped in the bleak spaces of medical school and hospitals.
On this road as dark as Taeri’s heart, the spiteful raindrops helplessly soaked Taeri’s collar.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
