Have you lost your mind? Have you gone crazy, Lim Haeyul? You’ve completely lost it. There’s no doubt about it.
Yes, I admit that yesterday I was completely out of it, almost in a state of enlightenment. But still, how could I poke Cha Jae-woo’s cheek while he was just sitting there, and even worse, giggle like an idiot?
“Where do you even have your mind…”
The bewilderment set in just seconds after opening my eyes.
Last night, I was so exhausted that I fell asleep without even washing up. So, I slept well. Maybe that’s why my mind cleared up quickly, and the memories of last night rushed back vividly.
‘If only I had been drunk, at least the memory would be hazy.’
Since I was just out of it, every expression and gesture of Cha Jae-woo’s was crystal clear in my mind.
I sat up abruptly in bed and rubbed my face haphazardly. I should consider myself lucky that Cha Jae-woo didn’t throw me out right then and there.
“You idiot!”
I punched the innocent pillow a few times and rubbed my face again. Over the past few days, staying in this house, Cha Jae-woo had been surprisingly normal, which made me let my guard down without realizing it.
Except for arbitrarily changing the contract, Cha Jae-woo hadn’t done anything uncomfortable. He didn’t force me to do more guiding when I couldn’t control my guiding, and he didn’t touch me even when I collapsed from exhaustion. Even though I was an easy target for him to drain my energy, he didn’t.
Maybe the rumors about his personality are too exaggerated? Cha Jae-woo doesn’t seem that bad.
People talk about Cha Jae-woo as if he’s some kind of monster. But up close, he’s not like that at all. Well, except for the first day I met him.
“Sigh…”
Anyway, I’m in big trouble. I can’t even muster the courage to face Cha Jae-woo. The only silver lining is that I don’t run into him much in the house…
“…….”
Why does everything always go wrong? Maybe I shouldn’t think things are going well. Otherwise, how could I end up seeing Cha Jae-woo before I even finish my thought?
“Good… morning?”
I have no idea when the door opened or how long Cha Jae-woo had been leaning against it, watching me. I swallowed a sigh and managed to greet him first. Unfortunately, Cha Jae-woo didn’t respond.
Did he get mad because I was too rude yesterday? It’s possible. Even if it was a joke, Cha Jae-woo and I aren’t close enough to be joking around like that.
“I’m sorry.”
I quickly apologized to him since he didn’t acknowledge my greeting. Cha Jae-woo tilted his head and replied,
“For what?”
“Um… It’s an excuse, but I really wasn’t in my right mind yesterday. I spent all day practicing that guiding block thing…”
“So?”
“So, when I got home yesterday, I was half out of it. And then I saw you, Esper Cha Jae-woo…”
Cha Jae-woo’s face twisted slightly. I shrank back even more and continued my explanation.
“I guess I wanted to show off… I’m sorry.”
My head hung low. The fact that Cha Jae-woo seemed surprisingly normal and not threatening was the problem.
How could I even think that? It’s only been a few days since he tricked me into that contract. And just now, I was thinking he’s not such a bad person.
Anyway, I was naive. I understood why Kim Geon-ung always scolded me for being so stupid and wondered how I would survive in this harsh world. Even now, he sends me messages every day telling me to break the contract and run away.
I couldn’t bring myself to tell Kim Geon-ung that the contract had been changed and that if I ran away, everyone would find out that I was Cha Jae-woo’s Guide. I knew exactly what kind of response I would get.
“Hey.”
Cha Jae-woo snapped me out of my thoughts, noticing that I was distracted.
When I looked up, I saw Cha Jae-woo’s furrowed brow, but it wasn’t as twisted as before. I couldn’t tell if he was angry or not.
I lowered my gaze and clasped my hands together.
‘I’ll just listen quietly to whatever he says.’
It was incredibly rude to poke someone’s cheek, especially when we weren’t even close. Even if skinship was necessary for guiding, it was still inappropriate.
Worse, yesterday I had laughed and touched Cha Jae-woo’s body, proudly showing off that I had learned guiding block. It was completely disrespectful, considering that guiding block was not good news for him.
What if he asks why I learned guiding block? I only did it because Kim Sol told me to. Can I just tell him that? My silence was brief, but my mind was racing with thoughts.
“Just call me by my name.”
However, Cha Jae-woo brought up something completely unrelated to my worries. I blinked, thinking I might have misheard him.
“Call me by my name,” he repeated.
Finally understanding, I hurriedly moved my lips to speak.
“Oh, yes. Cha Jae-woo.”
“…….”
…Wait, this feels weird.
Seeing his narrowing gaze, I quickly added,
“Cha Jae-woo-nim!”
Cha Jae-woo’s expression softened. I guess that’s what he wanted me to call him. But everyone else calls him Esper Cha Jae-woo or Esper Cha Jae-woo-nim. Maybe he doesn’t like that?
My mind was filled with useless thoughts again, but they quickly vanished as Cha Jae-woo approached the bed.
“Hand.”
“Uh… what?”
“Give me your hand.”
I hesitated for a moment before awkwardly extending my hand as he instructed. Both of my hands were open with the palms facing up, positioned obediently in front of Cha Jae-woo.
It looked like I was about to get my palms smacked, but that wasn’t my intention. My body just moved that way on its own.
“Who said anything about getting hit? Why are you holding your hands like that?”
Cha Jae-woo’s face twisted in annoyance again. As soon as our eyes met, I quickly straightened my hands. It looked ridiculous. I fidgeted with my hands, trying to figure out how he wanted me to give them to him. If he didn’t want my palms facing up, how should I do it?
It’s ridiculous that I’m worrying about such trivial things. But around Cha Jae-woo, I always end up like this. I never thought I was particularly smart, but I didn’t think I was stupid either. Yet, ever since becoming a Guide, I feel like I’ve turned into an idiot.
Cha Jae-woo sighed deeply, clearly frustrated.
“Just hold out one hand, palm down.”
He looked like he wanted to just grab my hand and position it himself, but he restrained himself. It was obvious he was trying to be patient.
Should I thank him for that? But it might sound stupid. Still, it was considerate of him to hold back, especially since he probably wanted to touch me to drain my energy.
Kim Sol said that mastering guiding block was the top priority. He said it should become as natural as breathing, even when sleeping. But for me, it still required all my concentration. I wasn’t skilled enough yet.
So, I should be grateful that Cha Jae-woo didn’t just grab me. I followed his instructions and held out my hand, waiting quietly.
“…….”
Cha Jae-woo’s eyes were intense, almost menacing. If I just went by his gaze, it looked like he might cut off my hand for touching his cheek yesterday.
‘No way. He wouldn’t, right?’
My opinion of Cha Jae-woo flipped like a pancake. Maybe thinking he wasn’t such a bad person was just my own stupidity. There must be a reason why everyone talks about his terrible personality.
My hand started to tremble with fear. Cha Jae-woo, watching me closely, clicked his tongue and spoke.
“Block it.”
“What?”
“Block it,” he repeated.
“……Block what?”
It felt like I heard Cha Jae-woo’s voice, even though his lips didn’t move. Do Espers have this kind of ability? The absurd thought crossed my mind as I realized he was telling me to block the guiding. I quickly nodded.
“I did it,” I said.
It took about five seconds. Yesterday, it happened instantly when I decided to do it, but now it felt slower after just one night’s sleep. I thought about how Kim Sol would scold me, and I figured I should practice more before going to the center. It was a strangely calm thought, considering Cha Jae-woo was right in front of me.
“Uh…!”
Suddenly, Cha Jae-woo’s fingertips touched my hand, as if reprimanding me. I flinched, but fortunately, the block held. I tried to focus, knowing that if the block failed, I’d be back in bed immediately.
Plus, Kim Sol had strictly told me not to give Cha Jae-woo any guiding. He needed it, but Kim Sol insisted that I should only guide him when I could do it freely and easily. He had repeated this like a mantra.
‘But what do I do now?’ I wanted to ask Kim Sol, even though he wasn’t there. Meanwhile, Cha Jae-woo wasn’t just touching my hand; he was slowly intertwining his fingers with mine.
My hand tingled, and I broke into a cold sweat from the tension. Keeping the guiding block up was exhausting.
“Hah…”
Cha Jae-woo flipped my hand over and slowly interlaced his fingers with mine. The sensation was overwhelming, and his touch on my wrist was unbearable. My face flushed red.
Eventually, the block failed. Luckily, Cha Jae-woo pulled his hand away as soon as he noticed, so I didn’t lose too much mana. Otherwise, I would have been bedridden all day.
“You’re slow,” Cha Jae-woo muttered, taking a deep breath.
‘…Oh no, I wasn’t supposed to guide him.’
Kim Sol’s warnings echoed in my mind. I shook my head, trying to think of an excuse, and looked at Cha Jae-woo.
Even that brief guiding had drained half my mana. I wanted to see if it had helped Cha Jae-woo, hoping his condition had improved. I thought that with this much mana, I could guide him twice a day, and he would gradually get better.
But Cha Jae-woo’s expression hadn’t changed. He didn’t look hopeful like I did. Instead, he frowned and stepped back, avoiding my gaze.
‘Why? Is he just hiding his feelings? Did the guiding help at all?’
Curiosity got the better of me, and I cautiously asked, “Esper Cha Jae-woo… I mean, Cha Jae-woo-nim. Was this… Was this guiding helpful at all?”
Even if my mana was tiny, our high matching rate should have helped, right? Quality over quantity, they say. Although, remembering the scene from my first day here, he seemed to prefer quantity…
“Helpful?” Cha Jae-woo echoed.
“Y-yes…”
He didn’t answer. He just smirked slightly. But I felt his response loud and clear—a fierce, chaotic wave of energy that pressed down on me.
The room was filled with his uncontrolled, overwhelming energy. It felt like he could lose control at any moment.
