Zhuang Xu led this incredibly quiet Li Shanqing downstairs.
At first, in the elevator, Li Shanqing had linked his arm with his. It started with just their bodies close together, and by the time Zhuang Xu noticed, Li Shanqing’s hand was already resting on his forearm.
Li Shanqing’s hold was very light, just the pads of his fingers slightly touching Zhuang Xu’s clothes. The elevator was not spacious. If Zhuang Xu were to pull his arm away, the movement would have to be large, and the atmosphere would become too stiff. There was also the reason that they had just kissed a few times. In the end, Zhuang Xu didn’t move.
However, when they reached the ground floor and the elevator doors were about to open, Zhuang Xu asked, “Can you let go?”
Li Shanqing seemed to be in a daze. He looked up at Zhuang Xu and let out a somewhat vacant “ah.”
Zhuang Xu told him, “Perhaps you don’t care, but I don’t wish to be seen.” To Zhuang Xu’s surprise, Li Shanqing didn’t argue or act spoiled. He just said, “Mm, okay,” and let go.
The two walked along the hotel corridor towards the bustling banquet hall. As they passed an area with flowers, Li Shanqing stopped, his face scrunched up, and sneezed twice.
Zhuang Xu waited for him. Li Shanqing looked up, his eyes a little moist. Zhuang Xu thought he was about to make some remark about hating Licheng, but he suddenly said, “Zhuang Xu, did you set your phone to reject unknown callers, or did you change your number?”
Zhuang Xu was unwilling to answer directly and asked back, “Do you need something?”
“That.” Li Shanqing said, frowning hesitantly.
Ever since Zhuang Xu had clearly rejected him and walked towards the elevator, Li Shanqing seemed to have suffered a serious blow for some reason. Even the tone of his voice had become less certain.
Zhuang Xu looked at him for a few seconds. Li Shanqing said softly, “If you changed your number, can you give me the new one?”
Why should he give it? There was no need for contact.
The messy relationship had ended long ago, and it was even more impossible for it to be rekindled in the future.
If he had really developed new needs and wanted a toy to vent his desires, he could go find those people he spoke of who were lining up to be deceived. There was no need to cling to someone who was unwilling.
Zhuang Xu did not speak. Li Shanqing waited for a while, then said, “Alright, if you don’t want to give it, then forget it.”
He looked a little tired and took a step closer to Zhuang Xu. Zhuang Xu subconsciously stepped back. Li Shanqing’s expression went blank for a moment, and he explained softly, “I was just trying to keep walking forward, not do anything to you.”
“…” To misunderstand someone, one should at least apologize sincerely. This was the upbringing Zhuang Xu had received since childhood. But when faced with Li Shanqing, all of Zhuang Xu’s actions would often become twisted and distorted. His only response was, “Then let’s go.”
In this two or three-hundred-meter corridor, Zhuang Xu’s steps felt as heavy as if he had walked several kilometers, yet the time he felt pass was only a few short seconds. The wish to end their time alone and the wish to delay their parting were different outcomes produced by objectivity and subjectivity; they were not mutually exclusive.
Reaching the end of the corridor, they could already hear the music. Li Shanqing called Zhuang Xu’s name again, “When can I see you again next time?”
“Is there a need to meet?” Zhuang Xu asked him.
“I want to see you,” Li Shanqing insisted. “It’s not illegal, is it? When can we meet? I know Auntie is a little better. Will you be coming to Licheng more often this year?”
His dejection seemed to have eased slightly. He started to widen his eyes again, testingly pestering.
He moved closer to Zhuang Xu. A few beams of light shone from the direction of the banquet hall. Zhuang Xu saw his face clearly and noticed a faint trace of powder on Li Shanqing’s cheeks.
Li Shanqing wore makeup like a soul varnishing itself. The main purpose wasn’t to become more beautiful—after all, it was hard for him to become any more beautiful—but to acquire the colors of humanity in order to blend into society.
When a little of the powder on the tip of his nose was rubbed off during their kiss, revealing almost transparent, smooth skin, it exposed the soul’s own kind of fragile vulnerability.
“I don’t know,” Zhuang Xu heard himself say, not decisively enough.
Li Shanqing pouted childishly, huffed softly, and said, “If you don’t want to see me, then you’d better be careful not to get caught by me again.”
“And what can you do if you catch me?”
“Force a kiss on you, of course,” Li Shanqing said with a grin. “What else can I do? You have to refuse next time, otherwise it still won’t count.”
This argument was truly meaningless. Zhuang Xu said no more.
Walking into the crowd, Zhuang Xu found Zhou Silan and led him away. Many people came to see Zhuang Xu off. Before leaving, Zhuang Xu took one last look at the banquet hall. Li Shanqing was talking to a young entrepreneur.
The entrepreneur looked impassioned, likely expressing his opinion. Li Shanqing, on the other hand, had a mocking expression. He opened his mouth and said a short sentence, instantly angering the other party.
Zhao Zixi, beside them, looked anxious, trying to intervene but unable to. However, by the time Zhuang Xu turned a corner and could no longer see them, he had already seen someone go over to stop the conflict.
In the car back to the apartment, Zhou Silan was a bit sleepy.
He had slept too much on the plane coming over, and his jet lag hadn’t fully adjusted. He wasn’t as energetic as Zhuang Xu.
But Zhou Silan had a strong work ethic and wouldn’t let himself fall asleep in the car. He looked out the window, then glanced at Zhuang Xu sitting beside him out of the corner of his eye.
Zhuang Xu hadn’t said a word since getting in the car. It wasn’t quite contemplation, nor was it quite anger. He had even changed his sitting posture a few times. Now he was sitting with his back suddenly very straight, as if savoring something.
Because he now knew that Zhuang Xu and Li Shanqing had been in a relationship, that they had disappeared together for over half an hour, and that he, as the sole insider, also knew Zhuang Xu had lied through his teeth about the person who sent the flowers, he chose the word “savoring.”
Not far from the apartment, Zhou Silan’s phone vibrated. He took it out and saw a text message from a new number. It read: “Hello Silan, this is Shanqing. This is my number, please save it.”
Out of politeness, Zhou Silan should have replied and then saved it. But now that he knew Li Shanqing’s identity, he immediately showed it to Zhuang Xu to ask for his opinion. “CEO Zhuang, what should I do with this? Can I save it?”
Zhuang Xu glanced at it and fell into thought.
Zhou Silan didn’t dare to rush him. He watched the screen go dark, then quickly tapped it to light it up again. Zhuang Xu finally said, “Save it if you want to.”
“Then I’ll save it,” Zhou Silan said. “In case there are any work dealings, it will be easier to communicate.” Besides, if he didn’t save it, it would be difficult for Zhou Silan to handle being cornered by Li Shanqing on some occasion in the future.
But after he finished speaking, Zhuang Xu spoke again, “There probably won’t be any work dealings.”
Although Zhuang Xu usually treated him with the attitude of a well-known junior, calm and composed, and Zhou Silan couldn’t usually guess what Zhuang Xu was thinking, when Zhuang Xu said this, Zhou Silan couldn’t help but be confused. Did Zhuang Xu want him to save it or not?
In the end, Zhou Silan saved it and sent Li Shanqing a polite message. Li Shanqing replied immediately: “You must tell me next time you come to Licheng. I’ll treat you to a meal to catch up.”
What did that mean? Zhou Silan glanced at Zhuang Xu and thought as he replied, “Thank you for the invitation! But my schedule has to follow CEO Zhuang’s, so I’m afraid I don’t have much time for solo activities.”
“Then have him come too.”
To say such a thing. Zhou Silan was a little stunned. He stared at his phone, completely unsure how to reply. Suddenly, he heard Zhuang Xu ask him, “What are you chatting about?”
Zhou Silan handed the phone over. Zhuang Xu glanced at it, and after a few seconds, said, “If he messages you again in the future, you don’t have to reply.”
But even after saying that, Zhuang Xu didn’t return the phone, probably because Li Shanqing had sent another message. Zhou Silan craned his neck to look and saw Li Shanqing had said, “Silan, where are you guys staying?”
Then Li Shanqing sent the name of the apartment building they were renting and asked, “Is it this one? What floor? I’ve left the venue too. My hotel room is leaking. Can I trouble you guys for a night?”
Zhuang Xu set the messages from Zhou Silan and Li Shanqing to ‘Do Not Disturb’ and returned the phone to Zhou Silan.
As the driver approached the apartment building, Zhuang Xu heard Zhou Silan say, “How strange.” He looked up and saw raindrops sliding down the car window.
It hardly ever rained in Licheng in May, but it was raining today, so it was indeed strange. They drove down into the parking garage, got out of the car, entered the building and returned to their apartment. When they turned on the living room lights, the rain outside was still falling, not too hard, not too soft.
Zhuang Xu first dealt with some work from headquarters, then went downstairs to the gym for a run before returning to his room for a shower.
In the steam-filled bathroom, he thought of Li Shanqing, whom he hadn’t seen in over a year, his voice still direct but with a more wicked content, and his lips, completely different from before, filled with desire.
Zhuang Xu indeed did not do the thing Li Shanqing had asked about. It was too much for him. In this regard, he could be said to be a conservative and restrained person.
In Zhuang Xu’s view, even for couples, things should be taken slowly, step by step. What makes humans human is the existence of moral norms and constraints, the ability to suppress animal instincts.
Of course, Li Shanqing was so indulgent and spontaneous; whether it was this kind of morality or that kind of morality, it was all morality, and naturally, he didn’t care about any of it.
The water was too hot. Zhuang Xu turned the temperature down.
After washing up, Zhuang Xu was about to sleep, but his mind was in turmoil. He went out and saw Zhou Silan about to go back to his room to sleep. He still couldn’t help but ask, “Did he message you again?”
Zhou Silan was taken aback for a moment, then said, “No.”
They said goodnight to each other. Zhuang Xu sat in the living room for a while, watched the news. The night rain stopped for a while, then started again. The content of the news barely registered in Zhuang Xu’s brain. By the time it was over, it was already twelve-thirty. Zhuang Xu should have gone upstairs, but he went downstairs instead, taking the elevator to the apartment’s public lobby.
The lobby was empty, with only a few security guards and the front desk staff. On the several sets of sofas, only one person was sitting. That person happened to look at his watch, then yawned and stood up, as if about to leave.
A loose white outfit softly draped over that person’s thin body. He didn’t look in Zhuang Xu’s direction but walked slowly towards the main entrance, even greeting two of the security guards.
But it was raining outside, so Zhuang Xu called his name. He turned his head, tilted it slightly, and didn’t show a triumphant smile, just stood there lazily, as if waiting for Zhuang Xu to walk over and get him.
Certain that Zhuang Xu wouldn’t move, he finally shifted his feet and slowly walked over, coming close to Zhuang Xu.
Zhuang Xu walked towards the elevator. Li Shanqing followed a few steps behind and asked from behind, “Is Silan at your place too?”
“Mm.” Zhuang Xu glanced down at him.
Li Shanqing finally smiled and asked, “Then do you want to go to my place?”
If he truly followed Zhuang Xu’s usual moral code, this sinful, base act, this promiscuous, vulgar pleasure, was irresponsible to both himself and others.
However, Li Shanqing was precisely this kind of casual person. To resist Li Shanqing’s pestering, perhaps one should, on the contrary, appropriately lower one’s own morals, to defend one’s previously uncherished feelings, and even inflict physical punishment on Li Shanqing.
Li Shanqing himself didn’t care about repeated rejections and being ignored, and still insisted on coming to bother Zhuang Xu again. Why should Zhuang Xu restrain himself and always be the most serious and rational one?
Having found a reason not to refuse, Zhuang Xu walked out the main door with Li Shanqing, the bright lights behind them.
Li Shanqing’s driver was waiting outside and opened the car door for them.
Although it was raining, the temperature was not low. Zhuang Xu successfully suppressed the urge to take off his clothes and cover Li Shanqing with them, and even more so, did not allow himself to recall the flowers that he had Zhou Silan secretly take from home and which were now stored deep in his room’s closet.
