#044
Late at night, instead of sleeping, Kang Dojun was reading scripts from dramas and movies he had appeared in before.
It was a habitual action he repeated whenever he had worries or things that weren’t going well. Only the sound of turning pages filled the room, but he wasn’t actually reading the words. No, it would be more accurate to say that even when he read them, they didn’t register in his mind.
They were lines he had already memorized, and more than that, there was no room for the words to enter because his mind was completely filled with thoughts of someone else.
Lee Yeonwoo. He muttered the three syllables of that name.
Lee Yeonwoo, Lee Yeonwoo, Lee Yeonwoo. I like him. Everything he does is lovable.
Kang Dojun usually found answers to problems he faced in reality within scripts. However, Yeonwoo’s case was special. He had never filmed queer dramas or movies.
So he decided to apply it to regular romance dramas and movies. When the protagonist realizes their feelings for the other person… they take better care of them than others, they contact them more frequently than usual, and when the other person is sick or going through hard times, they visit to comfort them.
“…I’ve already done all of that.”
He was already taking better care of him than others, and when they were separated between the countryside and Seoul, contacting each other once a day was normal, so to contact him more frequently would require at least two calls, but wouldn’t that be obsessive?
When Yeonwoo was having a hard time because of that BJ named Ber, he drove through the night to find him in the countryside.
Kang Dojun thought deeply. Could it be that he had considerable talent when it came to romance? It seemed like he had mastered all of it before even being aware of it.
While pondering various things, he discovered a major error. Rather than making plans for how to treat Yeonwoo going forward based on the premise that he liked him, planning what to do with his own feelings should be the priority.
Should he continue with these feelings, or should he stop?
His profession was one that was shown to others, and even if he continued, he couldn’t guarantee that these feelings would end happily. And most importantly, he didn’t know how Yeonwoo thought of him.
If he were to stop… he glanced toward the room where Yeonwoo was. He turned his eyes back to the script, rustling through pages as he muttered.
“That seems like it would be a bit difficult.”
If he had realized these feelings early on and suppressed them, it might have been different, but without realizing it, they had gradually grown beyond control. Now that he was aware of them, he wanted to approach him, stick close to him, take care of him, and continuously stay by his side to give him love.
Even right now, he wanted to go into his room and stick right next to him to spend time together. Even if Yeonwoo was sleeping, just watching him would probably be enjoyable and fun.
Kang Dojun pressed his throbbing head firmly with his thumb as if massaging it.
Just then, his phone vibrated softly.
「You want to eat pizza?」
It was a text from Yeonwoo. It came with an emoticon of a bee holding a honey pot and drooling. Despite all his worrying just moments before, laughter burst out so easily it was almost simple.
If he wanted to eat it, he could just say he wanted to eat it, but he always asked with the nuance that someone else wanted to eat it, which seemed like putting up petty pride, making him so cute that Dojun wanted to hug him tightly.
He decided to play along with his petty pride.
「Yeah, I want to eat some.」
As soon as he sent the text, footsteps approached and the door burst open.
“Spaghetti too!”
A smile naturally formed on his lips.
“Alright.”
* * *
“Here. Hyung gets two extra shrimp specially.”
What they ordered was shrimp pizza. Each slice had shrimp on top. After giving Kang Dojun one slice, Yeonwoo plucked off the shrimp from another slice and placed it on his plate.
He offered it generously even though it wasn’t from his own slice.
“Thank you.”
However, Kang Dojun, who was completely smitten, found even that gesture endearing. Since he would be the one eating the slices without shrimp anyway, it was just a matter of whether he ate the shrimp now or later.
He even went further and swept up all the shrimp from the slices and placed them on Yeonwoo’s plate.
“Eat a lot.”
“I’ll eat well.”
He smiled softly watching Yeonwoo stuff his mouth full of shrimp and puff out his cheeks. He should have added extra shrimp topping if this was how it would be.
“Do you like shrimp?”
“I like all seafood. Except when I was on the deep-sea fishing boat. I ate it every single day back then.”
“Want to go eat sashimi next time?”
Yeonwoo didn’t answer and hesitated.
“But I think I need to go down to the countryside.”
Only then did Kang Dojun come to his senses. Yeonwoo didn’t live in Seoul. Seoul was just a brief outing and vacation, to avoid outsiders coming to the countryside, or for treatment purposes. Yeonwoo had a place to return to.
“…When?”
“This weekend, just briefly.”
“Briefly?”
“Yeah, I’m planning to stay in Seoul until I spend all the appearance fee I received a few months ago.”
He felt secretly relieved at Yeonwoo’s words spoken like a resolution. Then he casually asked.
“How much did you receive?”
Yeonwoo stared at Kang Dojun intently, trying to figure out the intention behind the question. He had obtained information that when Dojun filmed dramas, he received about 100 million won per episode. He couldn’t understand why someone with so much money would ask him how much he received.
“Less than hyung.”
Kang Dojun coughed awkwardly and added.
“If you want to stay longer but run out of money, tell me.”
“You’ll give me some if I don’t have any?”
“Yeah.”
Yeonwoo looked at him with curious eyes, seeing how he answered “Yeah” without a moment’s hesitation to his playfully thrown question. On one hand, he was also worried about how someone like this would survive in this harsh world.
“Hyung, you can’t just spend money carelessly. Especially giving it away to others. You’ll go broke. Really.”
“I don’t give money to others. I don’t spend carelessly either.”
At his firm words, Yeonwoo closed his mouth tightly and chewed his food. Seeing him roll his eyes around, it seemed like he was thinking about how to respond.
When Dojun personally picked up a pickle and offered it between his tightly closed lips, a small gap opened and he bit the pickle.
‘Cute.’
I only do this for you. Because it’s you. Only you are special. So stay here a bit longer. Love kept seeping through the emotions he had been suppressing. He needed to restrain himself, but it wasn’t easy.
“Why are you going to the countryside?”
“To clean the house and check on the kids’ condition. I’m planning to go and come back over the weekend.”
“Kids?”
“The bees.”
House cleaning… Kang Dojun recalled the inside of Yeonwoo’s house. Wouldn’t it be cleaner if no one was there? Only dust would accumulate, but nothing would be messed up. And the bees, “Weren’t the uncle looking after the bees?”
“Still, I need to check with my own eyes. It’s my work.”
How admirable. Kang Dojun stroked Yeonwoo’s hair with his clean left hand, not the right hand he had used to pick up the pickle. He hadn’t even touched his pizza, busy watching Yeonwoo eat.
It was the first time returning to the countryside since the Ber incident. He was worried that the symptoms might worsen.
Of course, he was receiving counseling at the hospital and consistently taking medication, but like throwing a stone into a calm lake creates ripples, he was scared of when someone might throw a huge stone into the lake called Yeonwoo and cause anxiety.
He needed to teach him how to manage the lake. More precisely, how to nurture it.
Time would eventually calm the ripples, but the stone would inevitably sink to the bottom of the lake. So he needed to expand the size of the lake so that even huge stones would feel small, so that the stones that had sunk deep below would become specks of dust. So that he could always maintain tranquility.
Kang Dojun carefully opened his mouth.
“There will be many outsiders in the countryside. Will you be okay?”
“I’ll be fine. I may not look it, but I’m the Fire Fist of the Blue House.”
“Blue House?”
“Our house roof. Among the villagers, instead of street names or lot numbers, we call places by roof colors or so-and-so’s house. I’m the Fire Fist of the Blue House.”
Yeonwoo clenched his fist as he spoke.
‘Did he give himself the nickname Fire Fist?’
Kang Dojun looked at Yeonwoo’s fist, veins showing from the tension. It was small, so even if it hit someone, there probably wouldn’t be much impact. Or wait, was it spicy because it was small? More than that, the conversation kept going off track.
“If you happen to encounter outsiders, don’t panic and breathe deeply until you calm down…”
“Hoo-ha-hoo-ha. Like this?”
“…Yeah.”
My goodness. A squirrel just did breathing exercises. Seeing something so cute, his hand twitched with the instinctive desire to touch. Kang Dojun flexed and extended his hand to relax the muscle tension.
“Breathe deeply and just run.”
“Run?”
“Yeah, you’re fast at running. No matter what the other person says, ignore it and just run.”
“Is that okay? Won’t they chase me?”
Yeonwoo blinked, not understanding.
“Yeah.”
People are simpler than you think. No, they’re selfish. They easily do things others dislike but won’t bother doing things they themselves dislike.
Who would sprint at full speed in the middle of summer? Talking to Yeonwoo who appeared on TV would be an interesting experience. But Yeonwoo obviously running away from them and sprinting in the sweltering heat.
The intersection of conscience and fatigue would leave them feeling regretful at most, but they wouldn’t desperately chase after him.
“That person Ber chased after you?”
“Yes.”
‘Damn.’
How far did he corrupt the kid? It seemed like he had been broken during the four months when Dojun wasn’t there. So what if he’s broken? I have to fix him again. Who am I to do that?
The feelings of ‘I like him’ and ‘I shouldn’t like him’ kept clashing.
“That bastard Ber was unusual then?”
“Yeah. Usually it’s not like that. And if anything happens, call me.”
Yeonwoo was quiet for a moment as if realizing something, then nodded firmly.
“One in a thousand? One in ten thousand?”
“Meeting someone like Ber is like the probability of getting hit by bird poop while walking down the street.”
“Poop is still poop.”
“Poop is poop.”
Of course, he didn’t bother mentioning that all the birds’ aggro was currently drawn to Yeonwoo.
As long as I’m by your side, I can just eliminate all the birds.
* * *
“This weekend to the countryside? Can I come along too?”
“Why?”
“I’m bored.”
“Don’t you have work?”
Yeonwoo stared blankly at Shin Gihyeon who had come to visit Kang Dojun’s house. Hyung goes out for filming every other day, but he had never seen Shin Gihyeon working.
“I’m on a break?”
“Isn’t your break too long?”
“They can be long sometimes. Want some milk?”
“Thank you!”
Kang Dojun handed Shin Gihyeon the milk he had taken from the refrigerator. Today was also a day off from filming, so he wanted to spend it alone with Yeonwoo, but he couldn’t refuse Shin Gihyeon’s visit.
He used to call him over to hang out often even when he went out for filming, and he couldn’t say the harsh words of telling him not to come because he was going to play with Yeonwoo alone on his day off. But jealousy was a separate matter.
Yeonwoo was sitting right next to Shin Gihyeon eating snacks.
“Gihyeon-ssi must feel cramped. Come closer to me.”
He said something unnecessary. The seat next to Shin Gihyeon was completely empty. However, Yeonwoo didn’t mind and scooted his bottom over to sit next to Kang Dojun at his words.
Kang Dojun was pleased by this, but also felt conflicted about his uncontrolled behavior. Because of this, he didn’t notice Shin Gihyeon’s expression changing subtly.
“But I’m planning to take the intercity bus.”
Kang Dojun was shocked by Yeonwoo’s casual words.
“At this time?”
Publicly, the popularity of Rural Conquest was skyrocketing, and just entering SNS or YouTube would show dozens of clips from the Rural Conquest variety show circulating.
It was absurd that Yeonwoo, who was already taking medication, would use public transportation.
Naturally, he had been planning to drive Yeonwoo to the countryside before filming and come back up. He was planning to bring him back to Seoul as well. And yet he didn’t feel any complaints about it being troublesome.
Seeing Kang Dojun treating Yeonwoo like a child who didn’t know the ways of the world, Shin Gihyeon, who couldn’t stand it anymore, stopped him.
“Sunbae-nim, it’s okay. Right, I was also too lazy to drive, so let’s take the bus together.”
“But people might recognize you, and driving directly would be…”
“Then should I do it?”
Yeonwoo spoke with an excited voice toward Kang Dojun who was still showing concern.
He looked up at him with eyes full of expectation even though he didn’t even know where the accelerator was.
“I’d rather drive you there myself.”
He didn’t like the idea of going to the countryside with Shin Gihyeon, but he also didn’t like the idea of the two of them cozily using public transportation and sitting in adjacent seats for hours. Moreover, public transportation where they would easily catch people’s attention.
‘If only there wasn’t filming…’
“But sunbae-nim has filming too, you should rest.”
“Right. Hyung should rest. When I got my license, I scored 85 points on the road test. With a little practice, I can handle the steering wheel in no time. Gihyeon-ah, you have a car, right? Should I drive for you?”
His voice was full of confidence despite never having tried it.
“I don’t want to die yet. What about the written test?”
“Do I have to remember that too? I got my license because I passed.”
Yeonwoo answered with disgust at Shin Gihyeon’s interrogation. He didn’t feel the need to mention that he had barely passed by the skin of his teeth.
The two, who now roughly understood the pattern of Yeonwoo’s evasive answers, unanimously stopped him.
“I should drive after all…”
“Hyung should rest.”
“It’s fine! Sunbae-nim has to go to filming. We can just take the bus.”
Kang Dojun frowned very slightly as if he didn’t like it. It was a subtle action, but Shin Gihyeon watched without missing it.
“Wipe before eating.”
“Mmph… I’ll do it. Get away.”
While doing so, he slyly pulled out a tissue and roughly wiped Yeonwoo’s mouth, which was covered with snack crumbs, while once again observing Kang Dojun’s reaction.
He could clearly see him fidgeting, raising and lowering his hand restlessly.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
