At that moment, Cedric stood up and kissed my forehead. His gentle breath felt real. Without realizing it, I closed my eyes.
When I slowly opened them, a bluish light was shining through the window. I looked to the side, but there was only an empty chair—Cedric was gone.
I turned my head weakly and stared at the dim ceiling.
‘It really was just a dream.’
It couldn’t have been real. I had actually heard what he said in the drawing room.
As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I got up from the bed and searched the drawer. I had known deep down that Cedric thought that way about me, but hearing it out loud was more shocking than I expected.
I quickly opened the bottom drawer. Along with the emerald brooch Cedric had given me as a gift, I found some money.
When I counted it, it wasn’t even close to one million crocks. Even if I sold all the emerald brooches, it would only amount to about three million crocks.
Even if I didn’t repay it immediately, that was all I could manage. I stuffed everything into the pouch inside the drawer.
The more I stayed by Cedric’s side, the more I felt like a mere scarecrow. Even though I told myself not to expect his love, I couldn’t help but hold on to a foolish attachment.
Just as I opened the wardrobe with the pouch in my hand, someone knocked on the door. Before I could answer, the door opened slightly and someone peeked in. When our eyes met, the maid opened the door and spoke.
“My lady, you’re awake?”
She seemed a little surprised and quickly ran over to me.
“Why are you holding that pouch?”
“I just need to put some things away.”
I didn’t want to be honest for no reason. After all, everyone working here belonged to Cedric.
“Then please let me take it! I’ll put it away for you.”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll leave it in the wardrobe and handle it myself.”
I didn’t say anything more and placed the pouch inside the wardrobe. The maid looked puzzled but soon spoke in a cheerful voice.
“Master left early today because he had some business. But he said he’ll have dinner with you tonight.”
Even the mention of having dinner together didn’t stir any emotion. I just nodded, and the maid continued carefully.
“He also asked if there’s anything you want. Something you’d like to have…”
“I’m fine.”
When I answered firmly, the maid awkwardly nodded.
“Then… is there anything you need right now?”
I shook my head. Still, she added a few more words.
“My lady, if you ever need anything, please call me anytime.”
Then she bowed and left. As soon as she was gone, I sat down at the table and tried to think about what to do next.
Even if I tried to repay Cedric’s money right away, I was still short three million crocks. And I had no idea how to raise that money…
No matter how hard I thought, I couldn’t come up with a way to pay him back.
That evening, Cedric kept his promise. He came into the dining room before I started eating. As soon as he sat down, he looked at me.
“Revril, how was your day?”
He asked kindly.
“It was fine.”
I picked up my fork and ate my food. I couldn’t really taste it. I just chewed because food was there.
I could feel his persistent gaze, but I tried to ignore it.
“The maid said you didn’t need anything.”
Startled by the sudden comment, I looked up. Cedric was staring straight at me. He seemed normal, but his eyes looked a little sharp.
“Is that really true?”
Expecting anything more from Cedric now would just be greed. And foolish hope.
I had nothing to say, so I looked down at the food in front of me. Cedric said nothing for a moment. I could still feel his gaze.
In the silence, Cedric spoke.
“Revril, if I’ve done something wrong, tell me. I’ll fix it right away.”
“I’m fine.”
As I said that, I looked at the luxurious food in front of me. If I hadn’t married Cedric, I wouldn’t even be sitting here as a duchess, let alone eating such rich food. I didn’t have a family that society would consider a worthy match. I might’ve ended up married to some old nobleman.
The thought made the food taste worse. I put my fork down.
“I’ll get up first.”
Though I could feel his gaze follow me, I didn’t care and left the dining room. A maid followed beside me. I glanced at her and spoke.
“I’m going to rest in my room, so you don’t need to follow.”
Without saying anything else, I went upstairs. As soon as I entered my room, I searched the wardrobe. But the pouch was gone.
‘I didn’t touch it after putting it there.’
I had even told the maid to leave it alone. I hurriedly searched the area, but the pouch was nowhere to be found. I had no choice but to pull the bell cord and call the maid.
“You called, my lady?”
She looked quite lively. I pointed to the wardrobe with a dark expression.
“Did you see the pouch that was here?”
“The pouch?”
“I put it inside the wardrobe.”
“You told me not to touch it, so I left it alone.”
“But I can’t find it no matter how hard I look.”
Even then, the maid shook her head as if she truly didn’t know. I sighed and said,
“Call everyone who cleaned this room.”
The maid nodded and left. A moment later, several maids came in—all familiar faces. I asked each of them, but they all shook their heads as if they didn’t know.
“Are you all sure no one touched the wardrobe?”
I asked again, but their answers were the same. Feeling drained, I waved my hand. The maids bowed and left the room.
I sat weakly on the bed and stared at the wardrobe.
‘Where on earth did it go?’
Inside that pouch were all the savings I had. And the emerald brooch Cedric gave me.
Still hoping it might be somewhere else, I searched the drawers again, but it was nowhere to be found.
Just then, there was a knock at the door.
“My lady, the master is asking for you.”
It was the butler’s voice. Wondering what it could be, I left the room and headed to Cedric’s office. As soon as I entered, I froze at the sight before me.
I wasn’t sure if I was seeing things.
“If you needed money, you could’ve just said so.”
His voice was cold. When I looked up, Cedric was staring at me.
“Why is this…”
I couldn’t believe it, so I spoke, and Cedric explained calmly.
“Do you really think anything happens in this mansion without me knowing?”
The maids had all denied it. I suddenly felt a strange sense of betrayal.
“I asked you to stay by my side. Is that so hard?”
“…”
“Tell me, Revril. I want to hear your answer.”
His icy blue eyes were focused solely on me. I realized then—there was no place left for me to run. Not after he had gone this far.
“You don’t truly care about me.”
“…”
He didn’t answer. My heart churned wildly. I barely managed to keep my expression steady and said,
“Honestly, all I ever wanted was your love. But you never gave me your heart.”
I felt like I was going to cry, so I turned and left. I didn’t want to hear anything more from him. Not the truth that he didn’t love me. If I actually heard it from his lips, I knew I wouldn’t be able to endure it.
The next day, the door suddenly opened. I sat up in surprise, and someone unexpected was standing there.
“Cedric?”
I couldn’t believe it, but it was really Cedric. His face looked strangely calm.
I stared at Cedric for a moment, then quickly pulled up the blanket. He looked at my hand for a moment, then looked at me. His gaze was quite intense.
When I stayed silent and just stared, Cedric came closer.
For some reason, the atmosphere didn’t feel good. Cedric looked a bit unfamiliar, too. I felt like I had to say something.
“What’s going on?”
Cedric stopped and looked at me. His face was still stiff and had no trace of a smile.
“I called a doctor.”
When I looked at him in confusion, he explained.
“I felt like I wasn’t taking proper care of your body.”
“……”
“I mean it.”
“I…”
“Do you think I don’t care about you at all?”
I couldn’t understand what he meant at first.
“Let’s do a check-up this time.”
His words were firm. It didn’t feel nice—like he was treating me as if I were sick. But really, my body was fine. I didn’t even get colds often.
I was about to say something when the door opened. As if Cedric had already called them, people in white coats came toward me. An older man among them walked up to the bed and held out his hand.
“Madam, may I see your wrist for a moment?”
When I didn’t give my wrist right away, Cedric spoke beside me.
“Revril, it’ll be over soon.”
When I looked at him, I felt a strange pressure. It was the same feeling I used to get when he was with his older brother. The doctor glanced at Cedric, clearly checking his reaction. Cedric stared at me intently.
It felt like he wouldn’t move from this room unless I gave him my wrist.
“They’re just going to check if you’re okay. It won’t be dangerous.”
Cedric’s voice was calm, but the doctor beside him looked terrible. He was sweating so much it was almost shocking, and he kept glancing nervously at Cedric.
I had no choice but to give him my wrist. Only then did the doctors around me seem to relax a little.
The old doctor held my wrist carefully, as if he felt honored. He stayed still for a moment, then slowly let go of my hand. He brought some machines and compared them to my hand, then fully stepped back.
He immediately looked at Cedric. He looked like he had something to say. When Cedric signaled with his eyes, the doctor slowly began to speak.
“It’s Banwhajeung. It’s an illness that will heal eventually if you take medicine, but during the illness, having a physical relationship with your husband can be very dangerous.”
I looked at the doctor, unable to believe what I was hearing.
“There’s a disease like that? I’ve never heard of it in my life, and I…”
“Revril, it’s not a deadly disease.”
Cedric gave the doctor another look. The doctor quickly continued.
“Yes, absolutely not deadly. I can’t say exactly when it will be cured, but as long as you keep taking the medicine, you will definitely get better someday.”
“So, while I have this illness, I can’t have any relationship with my husband?”
When I asked, the doctor nodded. I looked at Cedric.
“Cedric, did you know?”
Maybe my face looked serious, because he came closer to me.
“Revril, I’m sorry.”
Something inside me felt like it was burning. When I stayed quiet, only breathing, Cedric gently took my hand.
“I couldn’t tell you because I was afraid you’d worry too much if you knew.”
“But you still should’ve told me first.”
My emotions rose up suddenly. Cedric knew about a disease I didn’t even know I had. Cedric turned his head and said something to the doctor, then looked back at me. The doctors all left the room at once.
Suddenly, the room was so quiet I couldn’t even hear breathing. I bit my lip, thinking over what the doctor had said. He said the illness would get worse if we had a relationship. If I thought about it, Cedric had every reason to send me away at any time. I couldn’t even give him a proper heir.
I tried to pull my hand away from his. But he didn’t let go. When I looked at him with a firm face, he asked,
“Are you uncomfortable?”
“Yes.”
But Cedric still didn’t let go of my hand. I was dumbfounded and said,
“Why did you even marry me in the first place? I can’t even have a child properly.”
