#55. Memory and Recollections (2)
“Hello, Dalchin everyone. This is Bae Dojin. I hope you all spent your weekend well. Another new week has arrived as always. I’m happy to be able to spend this early spring night with all of you.”
When I put on the large headphones, Bae Dojin’s voice seeped in softly as if it was resonating through my entire head. It was similar to when he sang yet mysteriously different, with an exciting feeling as if he was whispering right beside me.
“Today, a very special guest has come to visit our moonlit night. Actually, this was someone I really wanted to invite, and somehow the opportunity arose. We have the main vocalist of the group Arcus, Yoon Seowoo-ssi.”
Applause and cheers followed, and a staff member from beyond the booth sent a signal. I nodded seriously and then bowed toward the microphone.
Unlike being a bit nervous, the greeting I had practiced several times flowed smoothly from my lips.
“Hello, Dalchin everyone. I’m Yoon Seowoo from Arcus.”
Perhaps due to the program’s policy of preserving the live atmosphere as much as possible, there were almost no set scripts. That’s why at first I worried quite a bit about what to do if I had nothing to say, or what if I said something wrong.
But surprisingly, it was a comfortable and enjoyable atmosphere. It was probably thanks to Bae Dojin’s various considerations. True to someone who had been a DJ for a long time, his speaking skills were impressive, and he also delivered pleasant jokes that didn’t put down or make the other person uncomfortable.
“Ah, speaking of introducing gifts reminds me. When Seowoo-ssi came today, he prepared gifts for our staff members. Coffee, snacks, flowers – you can’t imagine how surprised we were when he arrived. To think he would prepare such a surprise event. Isn’t that amazing?”
Bae Dojin smiled brightly at me and added.
“It’s been really long since I received flowers as a gift. I should take this opportunity to thank you once again.”
“Not at all. I’m honored that you’re pleased.”
“Do you usually take care of people or give gifts often like this?”
I hesitated for a moment before answering.
“……No, I don’t really.”
I debated whether to say it or not, then opened my mouth. It was quite an impulsive choice.
“Actually, these weren’t gifts I prepared.”
“Oh. Then?”
“Our main dancer prepared them. I just lent my name, so to speak.”
“The main dancer of Arcus would be… you’re saying Na Jihan-ssi prepared this? For Yoon Seowoo-ssi?”
“That’s right. Actually, I only found out that Jihan had prepared all this after I arrived here. If I had known, I would have helped a bit……”
“Ah, so that’s why there’s a large freesia bouquet next to Seowoo-ssi.”
“Ahahaha.”
Bae Dojin lifted his head slightly to look at me. On his face, half-hidden by a ball cap, an expression of interest appeared.
“Come to think of it, Yoon Seowoo-ssi and Na Jihan-ssi are famous for your long friendship, aren’t you? Friends since birth, they say. It happens to connect with today’s theme of ‘time and heart’ as well. What do you think, Seowoo-ssi?”
I nodded.
“I think time is one of the units for measuring heart.”
“Units. I’d like to hear more about this story.”
“I think we often use time as a unit. First anniversary of debut, third wedding anniversary, ten-year friendship, lifetime job. Things like that.”
“Now that you mention it, that’s true. Of course, time isn’t the only absolute standard, but we do tend to view things we’ve spent more time together with or promised more seriously and weightily.”
I smiled slightly and answered, “Yes.”
“My heart grows as time passes. I think it’s good to think of it as becoming as serious as the weight of time.”
“Then in Seowoo-ssi’s heart, Jihan-ssi’s weight must be much heavier than other people’s. Since you’ve been together since Seowoo-ssi was born, and you’re in a relationship that falls under the expression ‘lifetime.'”
“That’s right. The more I live, the bigger and more serious it will become. Jihan probably feels the same way.”
“I’m sure he does. Since it’s as serious as the weight of a lifetime. So you’re saying he prepared gifts with the heart of wanting to take good care of such an important person.”
Bae Dojin nodded and continued.
“I think I understand. Because I’ve also been in group activities for quite a long time, you know? Including the trainee period, I’d say I’ve been with the current members for almost 10 years.”
“Time has already passed that much.”
“Exactly. When I think about it, the heart I had for the members when we just debuted and the heart I have for the members now can’t help but be different. A relationship of 10 years together has to be heavier, more serious, and more endearing than a relationship of 1 year together.”
“You must be like family.”
“Sometimes it’s even more than that. Seowoo-ssi knows this feeling, right?”
Of course I know. I smiled brightly and nodded.
“Jihan is my lifetime.”
The tiny seed we planted when we were born had already become a tree with firm roots. The tree that grew vigorously through seasons and years filled my heart lushly with just that one tree alone.
“In that sense, my first song recommendation as a guest is ‘Your Garden.'”
The song I recommended was an old pop song. It was a song a singer-songwriter father gave to his daughter, with impressive warm lyrics saying that life is like tending a garden, and to spend all your time and pour your heart into making beautiful flowers bloom in your garden.
– Remember, my sweetheart
Remember, my beloved child
When spring comes to your little garden in your heart
When spring comes to the little garden in your heart
Everything you love blooms
Everything you loved will bloom
They’ll hold your lonely hand and ask you to have a sweet dream
They’ll hold your lonely hand and ask you to have sweet dreams
Don’t be sad even if time isn’t on your side
Don’t be sad even if time isn’t on your side
The season of your soul goes around and around
The seasons of your soul go round and round
A warm day where you can smile will come back to you
Warm days when you can smile will return to you
This song was Na Jihan’s mother’s favorite. When I went to play at Na Jihan’s house and lay side by side on his bed taking afternoon naps, I could hear her humming through the window that was open by a hand’s width.
Perhaps because that memory remained as such a tender recollection in me, whenever I heard this song, I could take out the small happiness I treasured inside me, anytime, anywhere.
“Seowoo-ssi……”
Since it was time for music followed by commercials, the microphone was off. Bae Dojin, who had been tilting his head this way and that to stretch his neck with the headphones around it, said to me.
“You must really like Na Jihan-ssi a lot.”
I answered with a cheerful smile.
“Jihan is my lifetime.”
“Seowoo-ssi said time is a unit of heart, but actually, time isn’t the only standard for determining the weight or ranking of hearts, is it?”
“……Mm, that’s true.”
“What do you think it would be like if someone interfered with two people’s lifetime?”
Why is he suddenly asking such a question? When I looked at Bae Dojin with a puzzled expression, he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. As if it was just simple curiosity.
“I don’t really think about whether that would be possible.”
“I’m just asking you to suppose. Since you can’t imagine it because there’s no one more important than Jihan-ssi to the current Seowoo-ssi, how about the opposite?”
Someone more important than me appearing in Na Jihan’s life? It sounded somehow unrealistic.
Just as Na Jihan is the most important to me, I know that I am the same to him, so I know it’s nonsense. Even though I know that, humans are ultimately creatures of imagination, so I unconsciously find myself mulling over his words.
Na Jihan taking care of someone other than me. Smiling warmly at someone else like he does to me, coming to embrace them when they have nightmares, holding hands, stroking their head…….
“……”
I don’t know what expression I’m making right now. I’m not sure…….
“……Seowoo-ssi likes Jihan-ssi, don’t you?”
At least it seemed certain that something had been discovered.
Notes:
“Dalchin” – Nickname for Bae Dojin’s radio show listeners (moon + friend)
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
