“What… did you just say you wanted?”
My thoughts became sluggish. He whispered; his intense gaze fixed on me.
“Just as you said—a love so intense that we’d abandon duty and values. That’s what I want.”
“…I told you, in the end, it’ll be a mess.”
“No matter the end. I want it—with you.”
His words, surrounded by the thick tension between us, became even more ambiguous.
The suspicion that he might be confusing desire with affection vanished in an instant.
He was different from before. His eyes, his voice—even the way he addressed me. His emotions clung to my cornea, my eardrums, my skin.
His face, slightly twisted in nervousness, looked both desperate and tormented—like someone experiencing love for the first time. It was the recklessness of someone who had never been wounded by love and therefore had no hesitation.
“Etricia.”
His deep, lust-filled voice pierced my ears. The moment I regained my senses, Edmund didn’t wait.
“Can I not be your ocean?”
“That…”
I couldn’t bring myself to say it was just an ideal type I made up on the spot.
His eyes were filled with unrestrained desire as if he wanted to consume me whole. Trapped by that sensual gaze,
“I… well…”
My mind was in chaos. I couldn’t find any words. As I sat there, lips slightly parted, his hand, which had been resting against the wall, slowly moved down to gently stroke my hair.
He must have noticed how tense I was because he lingered for a while.
For some reason… his touch felt dangerously intimate.
He looked at me like a beast debating whether to devour its prey, then let out a sigh that sounded almost like a groan and stepped back.
As soon as he moved away, the temperature seemed to drop.
“…I understand. You’re not ready. I won’t rush you—I’ll wait.”
His golden eyes slid seductively to my lips before he twitched an eyebrow slightly.
“But be sure of one thing—my feelings are real. If you ever start calling me your younger brother again… I can’t promise what I’ll do. Understand?”
I nodded slowly, and seeing my response, he smiled lazily, seemingly satisfied.
“Then, sleep well.”
After dropping that bombshell, Edmund walked away, completely composed. Left alone in the hallway, my strength drained, and I slid down to lean against the wall.
My legs trembled. My whole body tingled as if struck by lightning. My breath had grown ragged, my heartbeat racing like an out-of-control locomotive. My face was probably redder than my hair.
“Hah…”
I buried my face in my hands.
It had been a long time since I felt such a thrilling, intimate tension. It wasn’t unpleasant. If anything, I liked it. In fact, I had been envious of the couples I saw at the knights’ order earlier that day.
‘Damn it. What do I do now?’
Edmund was my benefactor, my dear friend’s younger brother. A pitiful, kind-hearted puppy who shared my pain… No, scratch that—calling him a puppy didn’t feel right anymore. I had just barely escaped being devoured.
My thoughts were a mess. I hadn’t felt this unsteady in a long time.
It took a while before I could finally calm down and return to my bedroom. Of course, I didn’t sleep that night.
When I arrived at the dining hall for breakfast, I silently thanked the heavens for the empty table before sitting down. Rail approached with a warm smile.
“My lady, did you sleep well…”
He stopped mid-sentence. He must have noticed my haggard appearance.
After tossing and turning all night, going over everything in my head, I hadn’t slept a wink. By dawn, I decided I might as well do some work, so I had been handling paperwork until just before coming down. At least the jewelry store’s opening date would move up thanks to my lack of rest.
Rail, looking concerned, poured me a glass of water.
“If your bedding was uncomfortable, I can arrange for a replacement.”
“It wasn’t the bedding, so don’t worry about it. More importantly, where are the others…”
When I gestured toward the empty seats, Rail quickly understood and smiled.
“The young lady went out for her morning lesson. The master will be down shortly.”
“I see.”
After a moment of hesitation, I spoke, my tone unusually determined.
“Bring my food quickly.”
“Pardon?”
“Serve my meal now.”
“But… the master hasn’t arrived yet…”
Rail glanced at the head seat hesitantly.
“I have work to do. I don’t have time to wait.”
“Are you… running away?”
“Yes, I have to—”
I stopped abruptly, realizing what I had just admitted. Rail’s lips remained shut.
I slowly turned around, forcing an awkward smile.
Edmund stood behind me, arms crossed, looking at me with a smirk.
“Oh, you’re here.”
“Yes, I am. And it seems the countess is trying to flee.”
“Of course not. I was just about to eat. Come, have a seat.”
Feigning innocence, I gestured toward the head seat. He sighed and took his place.
A silent meal followed. Usually, even when we ate together, we made small talk, but today there was none. Rail and the maids exchanged curious glances.
I quietly stirred my soup, sneaking glances at Edmund.
‘Why isn’t he saying anything?’
Was last night just some drunken rambling or sleep talk? Maybe it was all just a dream.
“Etricia.”
I flinched, my hand freezing mid-motion.
Edmund had set down his utensils and was now watching me with his arms crossed.
“I told you not to dismiss it as nonsense. If you’re thinking of brushing it off as drunken words or a dream—don’t.”
‘How did he know?!’
My heart sank, but I covered my mouth and chuckled lightly.
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Perhaps I should have kissed you. Then you’d have proof I wasn’t drunk.”
What?!
His voice was calm, but his gaze burned with intensity. I froze, still smiling stiffly.
Rail and the maids looked stunned. It was shocking enough that their cold and aloof master had called me by name, but now he was saying something so bold in broad daylight.
Seeing my obvious fluster, Edmund made a gesture, and Rail immediately led the servants out.
Now, it was just the two of us.
I stirred my soup, enduring the suffocating silence. It was the kind of quiet that invited deep thoughts.
If this were the past, I wouldn’t have hesitated. A handsome, strong, wealthy man who liked me? There was no reason to refuse. But…
I didn’t want to lose him. He had become someone too precious to risk.
Marriage wasn’t a guaranteed happy ending. I had been divorced before—I knew better.
If Lilien found out… she’d celebrate and start planning the wedding immediately.
A chuckle escaped me, breaking my serious thoughts.
Just then, Tale entered the dining hall with a grave expression. He whispered something to Edmund.
Edmund’s calm eyes turned ice-cold. His relaxed lips stiffened into a grim line.
Tale stepped back, and Edmund looked troubled.
The ominous tension made me swallow nervously.
“What is it?”
Then, with narrowed eyes, he spoke words that sent a chill down my spine.
“Devon… has escaped.”
