It was not just the dryness of Licheng that made one’s skin itch; the bed in this hotel room was also uncomfortable to sleep on.
After Li Shanqing returned to the hotel and fell asleep, he was jolted awake by a sudden nosebleed and had to get up and spend a long time stopping it.
He yawned, and in the dim light, he skillfully pulled out tissue after tissue to wipe the blood, then applied an ice pack to his nose. He silently counted all the things he disliked most about this city, deciding he must tell Zhuang Xu about them.
There was nowhere fun to go, so what was the point of staying here? If it were not for the fact that Zhuang Xu would definitely be unwilling to return to Fancheng with him, why would he stay here for more than forty hours? He had truly sacrificed too much for Zhuang Xu, and he hoped very much that Zhuang Xu could understand and be grateful.
Finally, the bleeding stopped. Li Shanqing was already extremely sleepy, and with this thought in mind, he fell back asleep.
When he woke up, the first thing he did was check his phone. Seeing no new messages, Li Shanqing called to order a breakfast of poached eggs without sauce. After the meal arrived, he checked it over to confirm there were no allergens. While eating, he sent a message to Zhuang Xu, asking, “Are you still not awake? It seems that after becoming successful in your career, you can stop striving for more and wake up so late in the morning.”
Every time he slandered Zhuang Xu a little more, Zhuang Xu would reply faster. Li Shanqing had noted this trick and used it from time to time. Even though he knew in his heart that Zhuang Xu must have gotten up already, he still had to say it. Seeing that Zhuang Xu did not reply immediately, he even sent: “Could it be that after just four years, I will also reach the age where adjusting to a new time zone takes several days?”
Zhuang Xu finally replied to him: “I’m still in a meeting, stop messaging me.”
“Then remember to find me after your meeting is over, don’t disappear. You need to remember what you promised me yesterday.” Li Shanqing typed while biting his fork, realizing his mood was improving.
Perhaps a successful day had to begin with hounding Zhuang Xu until he replied.
However, he waited until twelve thirty in the afternoon before Zhuang Xu called him, asking where he wanted to go.
“Isn’t Licheng your home base,” Li Shanqing had already eaten lunch and was lying in bed looking at experimental data his senior had sent him, running calculations in his head, so his words to Zhuang Xu were a bit perfunctory and unfocused, “why does CEO Li have to think about this too? What do you take CEO Li for, your assistant?”
“You can’t go to any of the famous attractions,” Zhuang Xu retorted, “Can you be in the sun right now, or can you go hiking?”
“…” Li Shanqing noticed a strange set of data, wrote a few lines to make a note, and did not immediately speak to Zhuang Xu. Zhuang Xu seemed to have heard it: “Li Shanqing, what are you doing?” His tone actually seemed a bit dissatisfied, his voice deep.
“It’s all because I came to see you, I can’t even finish my homework, I’m catching up right now,” Li Shanqing spouted some nonsense, finished typing, and closed his laptop. “Why don’t you come pick me up first, how long are you going to think about it on the phone?”
For work convenience, Zhuang Xu had a long-term lease on an apartment in Licheng, very close to his office. Every time he came over, he, Zhou Kaiqi, and his secretary all stayed here.
At five in the morning, Zhuang Xu had his secretary wake Zhou Kaiqi up for a meeting. When they got to the conference room, Zhou Kaiqi looked tired but held no resentment. After the meeting, he happened to see Zhuang Xu grabbing his car keys and only then asked, “Going out?”
Of course, Zhuang Xu wished he were not, but he could only answer “Yes.”
Zhuang Xu had no intention of commenting on this behavior of compressing a full day’s work into a single morning to finish it ahead of time. He had only slept for four hours, but as he drove, his mind was exceptionally clear, so clear that he could still easily recall his emotions from last night when Li Shanqing told him to stay away. Then he felt the extraordinarily long and wicked tremor that he had suppressed at the time with the inertia of his reason.
The entrance to Li Shanqing’s hotel was bustling with cars. Zhuang Xu pulled over and saw a person wearing a mask and sunglasses, his face completely covered, standing by the glass door. He was leaning down and chatting with a little girl in a yellow princess dress who was going to an amusement park. He pointed to his sunglasses, then to his mask, as if explaining why he was wearing them.
Last night he was still in a formal suit, playing the part of an adult, moving effortlessly through social situations. Today he had changed back into a loose white sweater and light blue jeans. And for some reason, he was wearing a crossbody bag that was bulging, stuffed with who knows what.
Zhuang Xu rolled down the car window. Before he could call him, Li Shanqing looked up, then lowered his head again to say something to the little girl. The two of them shook hands happily, and he walked towards Zhuang Xu.
When Li Shanqing fell ill in March, Zhuang Xu went to see him. After leaving, he unilaterally decided to cut off contact for a while. They had only had occasional contact since then, and yesterday was the first time they met again.
The reason Zhuang Xu used with Li Shanqing was that the company was in a growth period, busy with phase three clinical trials and fast-track approval, so he had little free time. He himself understood that he did not want to see Li Shanqing, because he found that upon seeing Li Shanqing in person, the strictly established principles and bottom lines would become nullified far too easily.
Back when he left Fancheng, Zhuang Xu had someone look into Lu Zhengming. He was said to be an investor with a good reputation, successful in his career, and with a wide circle of friends. For reasons he could not articulate, Zhuang Xu had a bad feeling, but he was a man who valued facts and evidence. Since the other party had a good reputation, he never mentioned it to Li Shanqing.
After June, on two occasions when he came to Licheng for industry gatherings, Zhuang Xu heard people chatting about a new project Lu Zhengming had facilitated investment in at the F University incubator—the founder was a genius student named Noah Lee. This person walked a fine line on the edge of morality, and the lightweight sustained-release device he was working on was called NoaLume. It was claimed that its core algorithm and technology were very mature and already undergoing animal testing—Noah’s pitch presentation was like a cult sermon, but it still attracted many people to inquire with Lu Zhengming about investment opportunities.
That day, a friend heard the name of the sustained-release device and clicked his tongue: “Kids these days are so narcissistic?”
Zhuang Xu, however, knew the origin, because Li Shanqing had sent him a message to inform him immediately, saying “My senior had a dream about this perfect name, and my cold has been suppressed without flaring up, Mary says today is another day that Buddha has been very good to Shanqing,” although Zhuang Xu did not reply. For some unknown reason, Zhuang Xu joined the discussion: “A name like this was probably thought up by other members of the team.”
Zhuang Xu rarely spoke up to begin with, and those present, likely wary of his current status and position, were unwilling to argue with him. Everyone expressed their agreement with this statement.
Now, the suspected narcissistic student from the cult-like sermon, unaware and ungrateful, opened the car door, sat in Zhuang Xu’s car, and said smugly, “Hi, sorry to keep you waiting, I’m Noah,” pretending Zhuang Xu was his ride-share driver.
Zhuang Xu ignored him, glanced at his bag. He immediately patted it proudly and said, “Do you know what this is?”
On the back of Li Shanqing’s right hand was a small, faint scar, possibly caused by an improperly placed IV needle on some occasion. On an ordinary person’s hand, it might not be obvious, but Li Shanqing’s skin was extremely fair, making the scar impossible to ignore, like a piece of chewed gum dropped on a clean floor. However, Li Shanqing himself never mentioned it, as if it did not exist, and of course, no one would ask.
“What is it?” Zhuang Xu asked.
Li Shanqing then cheerfully told him: “It’s the dinner Mary made for me to bring along. She made four portions, so I can eat it for several meals.”
He unzipped the bag, and Zhuang Xu glanced inside. There seemed to be two ice packs sandwiching two sealed food bags. Li Shanqing took them out to show Zhuang Xu; they were small, pre-cut carrot sticks and homemade energy bars.
Zhuang Xu rarely saw Li Shanqing eat. The so-called lunch he brought to Licheng this time was even more futuristic than he had imagined. Not something a person living on Earth would choose to eat.
—Since he had to take a long and unpleasant car ride, risk traffic jams, and bring his own food.
Zhuang Xu asked in a low voice: “Since it’s so much trouble, why did you even bother coming.”
“Huh?” Li Shanqing glanced at him and stuffed the sealed bags back. For once, his mouth was shut. After a moment, he said unhappily: “If you don’t want to hang out with me, just send me back, why pour cold water on me.” After getting his fill of being sassy, he immediately backtracked, saying reluctantly: “No, don’t send me back, the hotel is so boring.”
Li Shanqing took off his sunglasses, revealing his slender eyes. He leaned towards Zhuang Xu and said provocatively: “Besides, I wanted to come, it’s none of your business.”
Having known each other for over three years, Li Shanqing was no longer the teenager he was when they first met. His frame had grown taller, and perhaps because he now frequented more social gatherings, he had acquired some of the air of an adult.
However, as soon as he spoke to Zhuang Xu, whether it was an act or a habit, he was always capricious and very childish.
Zhuang Xu knew he would not get the answer he wanted, and he also knew that Li Shanqing was only cute and clingy when no personal gain was at stake. When it came to things that truly affected his interests, he would reveal his true nature as someone who was essentially emotionless and adept at being unreasonable.
Li Shanqing’s surface was intelligence and beauty, while his foundation was dominance and heartlessness. After knowing him for so long, from Binhai to Fancheng, Zhuang Xu had long been clear on this.
But actions were still actions. At work and in social settings, especially in the last two years, Zhuang Xu had received many hints of affection. He found that if he needed to politely reject others, it was actually very simple for him. He could only accept his current situation.
When they were apart, he could still deceive himself with work. When they met, the unprecedented malicious thoughts became more numerous. It was not that he did not want to change, just that he could not.
Weekend traffic in Licheng was severe, and being close to the highway, the dust from outside was also heavy. Meanwhile, Li Shanqing began to talk nonstop.
He recounted all the recent details of his life, complained about how Zhuang Xu, this good friend, had neglected him, interspersing his complaints with dissatisfaction about Licheng. He even spent fifteen minutes detailing the psychological trauma caused by yesterday’s four traffic jams, but he deliberately avoided mentioning the specific content of the project he was working on.
Every time Li Shanqing mentioned “good friend” in a naive tone, or recited names from his parents and elders to Mary, it made Zhuang Xu think of the misunderstanding where Li Shanqing was looking for cream on him, which in turn inevitably stirred a wicked fire in his heart. But with Li Shanqing in his car, he could not kick him out, so he could only listen in silence for the time being.
Zhuang Xu drove Li Shanqing around the city in stop-and-go traffic. Li Shanqing started to complain, saying the car ride was making him feel sick again, so for dinner, they ended up going back to the hotel where Li Shanqing was staying.
The two sat down by the window as the sun had already set. As before, only Zhuang Xu ordered a meal. Li Shanqing only ordered a glass of sparkling water, which he drank with his carrots and dry rations. As if suddenly curious, he asked Zhuang Xu in detail about the taste and texture of every dish.
What does the scallop meat taste like when you bite into it? Li Shanqing asked Zhuang Xu, resting his chin on his hand. Are shrimp or oysters tastier? When the steak was served, he asked again: “Zhuang Xu, can you let me cut it?”
On the white tablecloth sat a candle lamp, its flickering flame casting a dim, wavering light on Li Shanqing’s face. It reminded Zhuang Xu of the sudden prickling pain on his skin, the shock and the racing of his heart, when he had unexpectedly seen Li Shanqing at the banquet last night.
After spending the afternoon together today, the desire to get away was even stronger. He wanted to get away from Li Shanqing, but even more, he did not want to stop him from getting closer.
Zhuang Xu beckoned the waiter, ordered another glass of wine, and pushed his dinner plate over, giving it to Li Shanqing as a toy.
Li Shanqing cut it very diligently, his head lowered to discern the fibers of the beef, like an alien living on Earth for the first time.
“Have you never cut for Mary?” Zhuang Xu could not help but ask him.
Li Shanqing looked up and shook his head blankly: “Never tried. I can’t eat it anyway, so I never thought about cutting it.”
He finished cutting, pushed it back to Zhuang Xu, and watched him eat for a while before suddenly saying: “Zhuang Xu, your phone seems to be lighting up, is someone calling?”
When Zhuang Xu came to pick up Li Shanqing, he had set his phone to silent and put it in his pocket. Only after Li Shanqing’s reminder did he take it out to look. It was a call from a friend.
This friend was male, but his name sounded like a girl’s. Li Shanqing saw it too, tilted his head slightly, pursed his lips, revealing a mischievous look in his eyes.
Zhuang Xu could not be bothered with him and answered the call. Li Shanqing turned his face slightly to the side, as if trying to eavesdrop. Since he could not hear, he even reached out to pull at Zhuang Xu’s wrist, but Zhuang Xu raised his hand to block him.
The person on the other end asked Zhuang Xu where he was and if he wanted to come to a gathering of a few friends.
Zhuang Xu usually declined politely. But today, looking at Li Shanqing, knowing full well that even if Li Shanqing did not want him to go, it would only be out of a strange, possessive sense of friendship, he was overcome by a strange impulse and agreed, asking the person for the address: “I’ll be over in a bit.”
After he hung up, Li Shanqing, as expected, immediately started probing with a grin: “Little Zhuang, where are you going? Can you take me with you? Mr. Lu loves taking me out, and I adapt very quickly, you know. I’m an old hand at bridge and Texas Hold’em now, and I’m very good at mahjong too.”
Zhuang Xu had not known Li Shanqing had learned so much: “It’s a gathering of friends, it’s not convenient to bring you.”
“Why not? Besides, didn’t you promise to hang out with me?” Li Shanqing tapped his fingers on the table. “You’re going to abandon me again? Are you choosing romance over friendship!”
His reaction was within Zhuang Xu’s expectations, and Zhuang Xu’s reply was quick: “Didn’t I hang out with you during the day?”
“I want to hang out at night too. If you don’t take me, you’re not allowed to go,” Li Shanqing started to be unreasonable. “You just can’t spare a whole day for me.”
Zhuang Xu wore a cool expression that said his decision was made and unchangeable. He asked the waiter for the bill. The more Li Shanqing looked at his expressionless face, the more annoyed he became.
He had made such an effort to come to Licheng, only to be accompanied for a single afternoon, and now he was about to run off after one meal. It seemed to him that Zhuang Xu was becoming more and more fond of having fun these days. His phone was on silent, and he was going out to play in the afternoon and evening. Where was the hardworking demeanor from before?
Li Shanqing decided that there was no way he was letting Zhuang Xu run off and have a good time by himself tonight. When Zhuang Xu stood up, he firmly linked his arm with Zhuang Xu’s, left the restaurant, and dragged him towards the elevator.
Feeling Zhuang Xu’s body resisting, Li Shanqing thought of the name on the phone, then imagined Zhuang Xu living a life of debauchery, and immediately found he absolutely could not accept that scene. He clung on even tighter, looked up and said: “You can’t even walk me back to my room?”
Zhuang Xu looked down at him with a warning gaze. Li Shanqing pretended not to see it, dragged Zhuang Xu into the elevator, swiped his own room key, and went up to the twentieth floor.
He swiped his card to enter the room. Zhuang Xu still did not want to go in. Li Shanqing had to physically drag him in: “CEO Zhuang, don’t be so polite with me, come in, have a seat, have some fruit!”
He made Zhuang Xu laugh. Zhuang Xu’s resistance lessened a bit, and he entered the room with Li Shanqing, but said: “Stop messing around, I have to go.”
The room had already been prepared for the night. Perhaps because Li Shanqing’s nosebleed last night had stained the sheets, he had left some extra tip money when he went out, so the housekeeping staff had brought him two humidifiers and even wrote a note.
Li Shanqing picked it up and glanced at it. The housekeeper wrote that the humidifiers were on and wished him good health, hoping he would not have another nosebleed tonight. Zhuang Xu was standing beside him and of course saw it too. For some reason, his expression darkened slightly. He said, “When did this happen last night?”
“Sometime in the middle of the night, I didn’t check the time,” Li Shanqing shrugged. “I told you I hate this place.”
He placed the note face down on the table, looked up at Zhuang Xu, and deliberately misinterpreted his concern: “If you feel bad for me, then don’t go. What’s so fun about those crowded places? I dislike all this socializing the most. If it weren’t for Mr. Lu saying it’s helpful for my career, I wouldn’t go at all.”
Zhuang Xu did not speak, just silently looked at Li Shanqing. After being stared at for a few moments, Li Shanqing felt the silence in the room was uncomfortable, and he also felt that Zhuang Xu was being so difficult, not cherishing their meeting at all. A fire ignited in his heart, and he questioned him, half-jokingly and half-seriously: “Or do you have some kind of life that I don’t know about? Tell me, what do you guys do that I can’t know about?”
Li Shanqing’s intention was not at all malicious, just a casual question, but it was misunderstood by Zhuang Xu. Zhuang Xu instantly became somewhat impatient, his brows knitted together. He looked down at him, his voice as cold as frost: “Li Shanqing, think before you speak.”
“…” Li Shanqing felt a bit aggrieved.
His own life was already dull and boring. Regarding any kind of adult life, he only had theoretical knowledge and a thin concept of it. The things he had heard recently during social events, he had automatically filtered out because he disliked them. He did not even know what Zhuang Xu had misunderstood. Now he just felt that Zhuang Xu knew so much. He decided not to bother explaining, pursed his lips, let out a cold laugh, and said: “How am I not thinking? Who knows what kind of shady things you’re off to do? Right, you refused to see me for half a year. You must think the things we do together are all just kids’ games, too boring, right?”
Seeing Zhuang Xu’s face turn even uglier than his own, Li Shanqing finally felt the grievance in his heart was vented. He continued his snide attack: “But I’ve been an adult for a long time now, too. Big Brother Zhuang, you should take me to see the world sometime, don’t sneak off alone—”
His words were cut short, unable to continue.
Zhuang Xu’s hand pressed down hard on Li Shanqing’s shoulder, then he seemed to realize what he was doing and immediately let go. The inside of his lips was warm, but the outside was cold. His teeth clashed with Li Shanqing’s, like hot ice hitting ice, making a very light, crisp sound.
The thing Li Shanqing could not deny the most was that on that day in late October, when he was about to turn twenty, his biggest flaw was his slowness. His emotional response was so delayed that it made him regret it countless times. Every time he thought about it, he would get angry at himself.
Because at that moment, he felt as if a fire was burning in his brain. He had truly never had such a feeling. Zhuang Xu’s lips were very soft, his scent was pleasant, but the taste of mint-flavored liquor made him blush and his head spin. He actually pushed on Zhuang Xu’s shoulders at once, shaking him a few times to push him away, and cursed indignantly and indistinctly: “Zhuang Xu, are you an idiot! I’m allergic to alcohol!”
