“Ow, my ass is killing me.”
“Bell, are you okay? See? I told you we should’ve just taken the carriage.”
“It’s fine. Horses are faster than carriages anyway.”
That’s what I said—but honestly, I was really starting to regret it. Every time the horse jolted, it felt like my butt was going to split in two. I never should’ve gone that wild last night. I acted on pure impulse, not realizing it would hurt this much. And we hadn’t even made it all the way. The pain was brutal.
Still, it wasn’t all for nothing. In the end, Kalz was the one who got desperate, not me. Next time, I’ll be more prepared and do it properly. The first time’s always the hardest—after that, it gets easier.
I was grinning to myself when my brother called from behind.
“Want to take a break if it hurts that much?”
“No, let’s just keep going.”
We’d barely just left, but I already wanted to get back to the castle as fast as possible. I missed Kalz. A little pain in the ass was a small price to pay if it meant seeing him again.
We drove the horses hard—almost to the point of cruelty—and made it home in just three days. Honestly, if my brother hadn’t kept insisting on taking breaks, we could’ve gotten there even faster.
As soon as I jumped down from the horse, I bolted into the house. The nanny was carrying a laundry basket when she spotted me, and her eyes went wide as saucers.
“Oh my goodness, Master Briel! How long has it been? I heard you’d gone off to study far away!”
“Yeah, it’s good to see you too, Nanny. Is Father in his room?”
“The master’s gone to the Merchant Guild for work. He should be back soon.”
“Work? I thought he was sick?”
“That’s news to me. Anyway, I’ll tell the kitchen to make all your favorite dishes for dinner tonight, Master Briel. Look forward to it!”
She bustled off to the kitchen, clearly excited. I turned to my brother as he walked in behind me.
“What the hell is going on?”
He looked like a guilty kid caught stealing and held something out toward me.
“Uh… sorry, Bell. Here.”
“What is it?”
It was an envelope. The handwriting on the front was unmistakable.
[To Bell.
Don’t blame your brother. I asked him to do this.]
The moment I read that first line, dread pooled in my chest. I just knew—if I kept reading, something terrible would be waiting at the end.
[At first, I never imagined things between us would turn out like this. I didn’t have a good first impression of you. I think you’d agree.
Back then, I was determined to kick you out after three months. But somewhere along the way, I couldn’t even picture the castle without you anymore. I don’t know exactly when I started fighting the part of me that wanted to keep you… but I’m pretty sure it happened a lot earlier than you think.
When you came to me, open and honest, saying you liked me… You probably have no idea how hard I had to fight the selfish part of myself that wanted to say yes.
I always knew there was an end waiting for me—and it was much closer than you realized. I didn’t want to hurt you with a decision I couldn’t undo. But in the end, I couldn’t keep my distance. I took your hand. And no, I don’t regret it. I won’t say I do. Because if I did, you’d only get more angry.]
So far, it read like any typical love letter. But with each word, my chest grew tighter.
[You once told me how amazed you were that the roses in the greenhouse bloomed even in winter. I didn’t say anything then, but I can now—the truth is, those roses don’t care about seasons. They bloom all year round because they’re enchanted. They symbolize how much time I have left.
As long as I’m alive, no matter what happens, the roses won’t wither. I always wondered how you’d react when I told you this. It’s a shame I won’t get to see your face.
By counting the roses, I estimated I had about a year left. But then, they started wilting faster. I think something shifted in the curse… maybe because I started turning human even on nights without a full moon. That must’ve changed something. So now, I’ve had to start preparing for the end sooner than expected.]
The roses… they represented Kalz’s remaining time?
How many were left in the greenhouse now?
Didn’t I think this winter that none had bloomed at all?
My hand trembled as I held the letter.
[I managed to finish everything else in time—but not with you. I was prepared to leave you with the pain of my departure, but I couldn’t let you witness the moment I disappeared. I couldn’t do that to you. Not when I knew you’d be left alone in an empty castle. I’m truly sorry, Bell… for leaving without a word.]
An empty castle? Leaving…?
Why are you saying this now?
It’s not time yet—it can’t be.
[You’ll probably hate me for this, but just this once, I want you to let me have my way. Living with your family again… maybe that won’t be so bad. No matter where you go, the castle and everything I’ve left behind now belong to you, Bell. The transfer’s already been finalized. I left all the documents with Leon. So go—stay wherever your heart wants.]
At some point, I’d reached the final page.
[Life wasn’t easy. I had more days of pain than joy—enough to curse the god who gave me this life.
But I guess even the gods can’t stand being cursed forever. Because in the end, they let me meet you. And now… I’m grateful. You gave me a reason to smile, even in front of the gods. Just for that, you were more than I ever deserved.
I used to believe love wasn’t meant for someone like me. Before you, that was just fact.
Funny, isn’t it? To be so sure I’d never fall in love—when I didn’t even understand what love really was.
I love you, Bell.
More than you could ever imagine. Even if I disappear completely, I want to stay by your side—if only as a speck of dust.]
Love…? You never said that to me. Not even once.
That’s the kind of thing you say looking someone in the eye.
My vision blurred. I couldn’t read anymore. Only after the first tears splattered against the floor did I manage to make out the final line.
[So please, don’t cry.]
Don’t cry?
How the hell am I supposed to not cry after a letter like this?!
And yet… in the cruelest way, those words worked. My fury rose so hot, it scorched the tears right out of me.
“Bell, are you okay? What did the letter say?”
My rage had nowhere to go—so it exploded at my brother.
“This is all your fault! You tricked me into coming back!”
“I didn’t have a choice! A letter came from where you were working—they said you were refusing to quit, causing trouble. They begged me to make up any excuse to get you out of there. And that pissed me off, too! I couldn’t just leave you in a place that treated you like that—”
“‘Treated me like that’?! Are you serious? Everyone in that castle treated me better than I ever deserved! They lied just to get me out—for my sake! You still don’t get it?!”
“Lied…? Wait. You mean they didn’t actually want to fire you? Then… I was wrong? This is all my fault?”
I didn’t answer. I just glared. The look I gave him must’ve cut like a blade, because all the color drained from his face.
“I didn’t know. I didn’t know it meant that much to you. I’m sorry, Bell.”
My soft-hearted brother burst into tears. But even that couldn’t touch the fire blazing inside me.
“You once said if I didn’t come home, you’d cut me off. If I’d known it would end like this, I never would’ve come. As far as I’m concerned—we’re not brothers anymore.”
I turned and stormed upstairs. The room was exactly the way I’d left it. I didn’t even have time to feel nostalgic. I ripped open my bag and pulled out the ear cuff.
I just had to get back. It wasn’t too late.
“Return!”
Nothing.
“Return! RETURN! Come on—why isn’t it working?! Was that not the command? Transfer! Teleport! Warp! Send me back! TAKE ME HOME! DAMN IT—TAKE ME BACK TO THE CASTLE!”
No matter what I said, the ear cuff didn’t respond. It stayed perfectly still. Silent.
That was it.
Kalz had lied to me. There was only ever one of Arin’s Ear Cuff.
The betrayal hurt—but I didn’t have time to fall apart. I jumped to my feet and flung the door open. My brother stood right outside, a mess of tears and snot. I didn’t even look at him.
I ran out of the house without a word.
“Bell! Where are you going?! Just—wait! Talk to me!”
I didn’t stop. I sprinted to the stables and made straight for the best horse we had—Father’s black stallion. I grabbed the reins without hesitation.
“Bell? I heard you came back—and now you’re already leaving? And why that horse?”
Father was clearly still clueless. He reached for the reins, but my brother caught his arm.
“Bell—go! I’m so sorry.”
“What the hell is going on with you two?! That horse isn’t just any animal, you know!”
I gave my brother a single glance before swinging into the saddle.
“Hyah!”
My body was already a wreck from the three-day ride—but I didn’t care. I pushed the horse even harder, even faster. Pure willpower was all I had as I charged back the way I came.
I couldn’t stop thinking about everyone’s faces as I left. Every single one of them—even Grill—had come to the gates smiling, waving as I walked away. I’d told them it was cold and to get back inside, promised I’d be right back. But they kept waving until I was gone.
Did they know?
Did they all know it was goodbye?
Did they smile anyway?
Just imagining what their faces must’ve looked like after I left—once the smiles faded—ripped a hole in my chest.
I didn’t sleep. I rode like a madman, nodding off in the saddle, barely staying upright.
And finally—I reached Swalter Village.
“Hey, isn’t that the same thing from last time?”
“Yeah… What is that?”
I heard the whispers before I saw it. A column of light rising from the mountains—familiar. Unmistakable. Terrifying.
“No…!”
No, no, no. Please. Not that. Not now.
I clenched my teeth and kicked the horse into a sprint.
The castle appeared in the distance.
And it was silent.
Far too silent.
