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Chapter 11. Tsunami
* * *
Gently closed eyelids opened. Beneath the slowly blinking eyelids, a pair of jet-black pupils shook as they tried to focus.
Doun had a drowsy face. In the brief moment when he breathed several times as if trying to regain consciousness, his black pupils began to take on a bluish tint.
Doun’s pupils changed quite capriciously. When his thoughts were turbulent, both eyes would turn blue, and during daily life, only his left eye was blue.
And when he felt psychological stability or when the effects of the various medications he took—antidepressants, anti-anxiety drugs, mood stabilizers—reached their peak, both eyes would turn jet black.
Since they changed for such brief moments that he wouldn’t notice unless he stared in a mirror all day, Doun didn’t know this fact. He only knew that one of his eyes changed strangely.
Even the psychiatrist Doun visited regularly didn’t know about these changes. Doun wore black contact lenses whenever he went to the psychiatrist, and at most, the doctor could observe him for about 20-30 minutes a week.
However, there was exactly one person who had noticed the changes in Doun’s pupils. That was Kyung Samin, who had been Doun’s boyfriend for two days as of today.
‘Did our hyung sleep well? His eyes were black when he first opened them…’
Samin was holding Doun tightly. His upper body pressed seamlessly against him and his long legs entangled with Doun’s legs fully revealed his obsession. Even though he had confirmed with his own eyes that Doun had woken up, he showed no intention of loosening his posture. Rather, he put more strength into it as if wanting his presence to be known.
“…Samin.”
Doun called Samin’s name, feeling a slightly overwhelming pressure. A warm morning greeting came in return.
“Yes, hyung. Did you sleep well?”
“Yeah. I slept well, but I feel a bit suffocated.”
Doun’s voice after waking up was more hoarse than usual. It might have been because he had moaned for quite a long time on the bed yesterday. When his lips were blocked from kissing, he whimpered with his throat, and when they weren’t, he couldn’t hold back the moans that burst out and panted, so it made sense that his voice would be hoarse.
“How are your thighs? Do they still sting?”
“Mmm, they’re fine. That was just for a moment then.”
“Really? You’re not just saying you’re fine with words again, are you?”
“Do you think I’m someone who lies about everything?”
Even though they had decided to date as of yesterday, there wasn’t a big change in their relationship. It was just that Doun didn’t push away Samin’s physical affection, and the position of the heirloom ring passed down through generations of the Kyung family had moved from Samin’s left ring finger to Doun’s thumb.
Doun pouted and grumbled. Samin loosened his grip on Doun’s body a little, then quickly lowered his head and kissed him.
When Doun slightly flinched at the smacking sound, Samin rubbed his lower body. Doun’s eyebrows twitched at Samin’s energetic morning presence.
“Are you going to act like a pervert from morning?”
“I can’t help that I like you, hyung. Every time I wake up in the morning, I like you more and more.”
With sparkling eyes that deserved the modifier “bright and clear,” he couldn’t bring himself to scold him. Doun lost his words and just slightly pulled his body back. But since Samin was holding him with his arms and legs, it was more like squirming than creating distance.
“I hope my room’s bed never comes. I want to sleep snuggled up with hyung like this every day.”
“Ah, right. The bed…”
Doun trailed off. Though he had impulsively started cohabiting with Samin, preparing the details was still in the beginning stages. As an urgent measure, they had agreed to sleep together until the bed was delivered yesterday, but the situation had changed.
Samin was no longer just a housemate but had become his lover.
“I’m your boyfriend now, but should we use separate rooms? Should I sleep alone? If you tell me to, I will, but I think I’d be a bit sad…”
Samin subtly nuzzled and hugged Doun’s chest. Given his large build, the expression “hugged” seemed a bit inappropriate, but at least Samin thought he was in a position of being hugged by Doun.
Doun gently patted Samin, who was acting cute from morning, and fell into thought.
‘If I suggest using separate rooms here, would that be pushing him away too much for people who decided to date…?’
His decision to date Samin wasn’t simply because he couldn’t ignore his feelings. While it was true that his feelings toward Samin were favorable, he also wanted to become like Samin by seeing his bright, cheerful, and positive side up close.
He didn’t want to live frustratingly forever without being able to express his feelings honestly. Considering that he was planning to sleep together until the bed arrived anyway, sharing a bed with Samin wasn’t uncomfortable. It was just a little bothersome.
‘Besides, we already did those… things yesterday, so it doesn’t make sense to act like this now.’
Doun recalled what happened yesterday. He had vaguely thought that sexual relations between men would only involve insertion from behind, but it was quite shocking that they could feel that way too.
“If you’re okay with it, keep sleeping with me.”
Doun came to an answer in an uncharacteristically short time. At the suggestion to share a room, Samin was happy but also glanced at Doun’s reaction.
“I’m obviously fine with it. But hyung, you’re not reluctantly agreeing to sleep together just because you’re thinking of me when you actually don’t want to, are you?”
“Did you forget what I said just a moment ago?”
“…That we should sleep together?”
“Before that.”
“That I was acting like a pervert?”
“No, when I asked if I looked like someone who lies.”
“Ah, honestly, it’s not just once or twice that you’ve said you’re fine when you’re not. You vomit a bowlful of blood from mana backflow and say you’re fine, you tremble from potion side effects and still say you’re fine. I was worried and asked because I thought maybe you disliked sleeping with me but were just saying it’s fine.”
“That’s…”
Doun pressed his lips shut. All this time when he said he was fine, everyone casually moved on, so he thought he was managing his expressions and controlling his behavior well enough that it didn’t show.
“Was it that obvious?”
“Anyone who’s not an idiot would notice. If you just watch hyung a little, you can tell everything. I didn’t say anything, but the other guild members were also very worried about you.”
Samin said while still hugged in Doun’s arms.
“It hasn’t been long since you returned and joined, and we said let’s watch a bit more and I’d talk to you if it continued. I didn’t say anything because it seemed like you were getting better as you gradually changed your mana distribution. When you lie, it shows on your face.”
When Samin finished speaking, Doun flinched.
‘Then Jeongwook hyung and Sani hyung knew all along and this whole time…’
Just as his thoughts were about to flow toward resentment of that stale old grudge, Samin squirmed in his arms and Doun forcibly cut off his thoughts.
“So when I said it was okay to sleep together earlier, did that look like a lie?”
“No. I couldn’t see your face since I was hugged by you, hyung. I just asked earlier because I wondered if you were really okay. I can’t force you just because I became your boyfriend. I’d be at a loss if you dumped me.”
“Ah…”
Doun had to admit it. He liked Samin too much. Things like his fundamentally honest nature in everything, his ability to consider others while being endlessly gentle in personality and speech.
“Samin.”
“Yes?”
“I like you too much. I like you so much it’s annoying.”
“…”
“I should have just quickly agreed to date.”
When Doun said that, Samin pulled his body back. As the embrace that had been holding him tightly moved away, Doun looked at Samin with a slightly empty feeling. Then he was flustered.
‘Look how red his face got…’
Seeing his chest heaving, he seemed a bit excited too. When he glanced down between his legs, sure enough, he was energetically asserting his presence from morning.
At first, it seemed a bit strange for him to act lustfully toward a man, but once he became that strange guy himself, he understood Samin’s behavior. He wondered how much he must like him to act like that, and even if it wasn’t necessarily an erection because of him, he couldn’t hate it. Wasn’t it a physiological phenomenon all men experienced in the morning? This seemed to be why the saying about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes existed.
“Go wash up. I’ll order food.”
“…Yes, hyung.”
When Doun spoke with a slight smile, Samin staggered out of bed. Just as Samin was walking toward the bathroom, he suddenly returned to the bed, grabbed Doun’s face, and showered him with kisses while saying:
“I really, really like you too, hyung. Really.”
Smack, smack. Finally, there was even a strange slurping sound. Instead of pushing him away in disgust, Doun laughed saying it tickled and accepted Samin’s affection as it was. After receiving the long-continued kisses, he somehow felt regretful about Samin’s feelings he had let slip by.
* * *
The morning after Samin and Doun washed up, delivered food was placed on the dining table where they sat facing each other intimately.
There were no ingredients in the refrigerator to cook directly. All that was in there were a few colas. Feeling like this revealed his dissolute eating habits of surviving on delivery food, Doun felt a bit awkward.
“Hyung. Actually, it doesn’t feel real to me.”
Samin muttered while eating his portion of the lunch box.
“Are you going to say it feels like you’re dreaming again?”
“No, it’s just that ever since you agreed to date me, hyung, you’ve been so nice to me suddenly… You were soft before too, but now you’re at a mushy level.”
The expression “soft” wasn’t pleasant either, but now “mushy”? Doun pouted but then felt sorry, wondering how much he must have scolded Samin for him to say this.
Just accepting his expressions of affection and saying he liked him, and he couldn’t feel reality to this extent? It was a morning that made him reflect unnecessarily.
“I’m the type who spoils people when I’m dating.”
When Doun said this while picking at his rice, Samin’s eyes flashed.
“Wait. Hyung, did you act all lewd and cute like this with your ex too? How far did you go with that person?”
His eyes were burning with jealousy. Doun momentarily felt the illusion of cold sweat running down his back.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
