Pitch-black eyes shifted soundlessly. His gaze eventually locked straight onto me.
“Why didn’t you say hi when you saw me?”
You were with Choi Joo-won. How the hell was I supposed to say hi in that situation?
Truthfully, he wanted to storm up and land a clean punch on the guy who left that glorious wound on his left knee. But he held back—because he’s a rational human being. Besides, he had no idea why those two were even meeting. He didn’t want to barge in uninvited and make things awkward for no reason.
He shot Jung-yoon a look packed with tangled emotions, but Bae Jung-yoon didn’t react. As if he couldn’t understand why this was even a problem.
Go Hoon set his fork down with a sharp clack. Now that the conversation had started, he figured he might as well clear up his confusion while he had the chance. He braced himself, determined not to waver no matter what answer he got, and finally opened his mouth.
“What exactly is going on between you two?”
“What do you mean, ‘going on’?”
“I mean, what kind of special connection do you have that Choi Joo-won would come all the way to school just to see you?”
Even after beating you up like that. He swallowed the rest of the sentence and just stared at Jung-yoon.
Bae Jung-yoon looked straight at him with a calm smile and answered simply.
“High school classmates.”
But that answer was way too neat. Anyone could see they weren’t the kind of relationship that could be summed up that easily.
“So, I guess high school classmates casually suck each other off and screw, huh? That what it is for you?”
The words came out before he could stop them—sharp and bitter. Bae Jung-yoon looked at him with an unreadable expression. He could practically see the question forming above Bae Jung-yoon’s head.
“Hoon-ah, why are you mad?”
Bullseye. Goddamn, this guy’s too perceptive.
Earlier today, even Jo Seong-il had asked something similar. So yeah, he knew he wasn’t doing a good job hiding it.
Fine. I’m pissed.
Pissed that Bae Jung-yoon and Choi Joo-won met up behind his back—well, maybe not technically behind his back, but Jung-yoon hadn’t told him, so close enough. Still, for some reason, he didn’t want Bae Jung-yoon to be the one to catch on.
“Me? Mad?”
He replied coolly, as if the very idea was ridiculous. But lies didn’t work on Bae Jung-yoon.
“You are mad. Right now.”
He smirked, tugging lightly at the corners of his mouth, and stared at Hoon like he was reading every little twitch in his face—like he was a subject under a microscope. Without realizing it, Hoon bit the inside of his cheek.
“I’m not mad. I just don’t get it. I don’t understand what kind of heart-wrenching connection would make you two meet again after all that chaos.”
He didn’t get it.
Why Choi Joo-won would come looking for him after taking that beating. Why Bae Jung-yoon would welcome him back without batting an eye. None of it made sense.
“Did you two date or something? Some tragic, angsty love story in the past? …Or are you still involved?”
Sure, the way Bae Jung-yoon treated Choi Joo-won didn’t exactly scream ‘I’m in love,’ but who knows? It could be one of those tortured, love-hate messes.
Not that anything about Bae Jung-yoon’s behavior ever made sense to begin with. And unlike Go Hoon—nervous about what kind of answer might come—he let out a soft laugh, like he’d just heard something hilariously absurd.
Bae Jung-yoon chuckled like he was genuinely amused, then looked at Hoon with those dark, unreadable eyes.
“We’re nothing special.”
“Then what—”
“Choi Joo-won was my first male sex partner.”
So much for nothing special. That was the last thing he expected to hear. Hoon’s lips parted slightly before he managed to push out a question.
“So… you mean the two of you dated?”
“No.”
The denial came fast and firm. Bae Jung-yoon toyed absently with his fork and added, with indifference:
“There’s no way we were dating.”
And then, just as casually, he added—
“Back then, Choi Joo-won already had someone.”
Unbelievable. One corner of Hoon’s mouth twitched uncontrollably. He had someone else… and still had sex with Jung-yoon?
“I never had any feelings for Choi Joo-won.”
“…Then why?”
“Just because.”
The last of Bae Jung-yoon’s smile vanished as he looked at Hoon, his tone cold and detached.
“What—‘there were circumstances’ isn’t enough for you?”
There were circumstances. Translation: I’m not telling you.
Whatever happened between Bae Jung-yoon and Choi Joo-won, he wasn’t going to explain it—and Jung-yoon expected him to just accept that and move on.
He stared at Jung-yoon without replying. There was only one thing he wanted to say, and he said it with my eyes: What the hell kind of person are you?
So much for a “special connection.” This was downright trashy. He thought maybe there was something deep between them—but it was worse than anything he could’ve imagined.
Just like that, his appetite vanished. Not that he was particularly hungry to begin with, but now even the small resolve he had—to finish this bowl in sync with Jung-yoon—was completely gone.
What am I even doing, sitting here like this? He couldn’t think of a single reason they needed to have this conversation.
Before the thought could fully settle, Go Hoon stood up abruptly. He grabbed the half-finished bowl of pasta and his fork and headed toward the sink. But then, out of respect for the effort Jung-yoon had put into making the meal, he stopped, shoveled the rest into his mouth, and swallowed it down in one go.
“Thanks for the food.”
He dropped his dishes into the sink, letting them clatter into the water. Just as he was about to leave the kitchen, a hand suddenly gripped his wrist. His steps halted. Without turning around, he stood still—and then, a low voice followed behind him.
“Choi Joo-won just showed up out of nowhere. It’s not going to happen again.”
At the same time, Bae Jung-yoon’s hand slowly slid across his wrist, fingers brushing lightly over the skin.
“I’ve decided to put an end to it. That relationship, too.”
The way his touch pressed down, as if feeling the steady beat of his pulse, felt oddly persistent.
A wave of emotions stirred inside him. He hadn’t started this conversation hoping to hear something like this. But still—just hearing “It won’t happen again” filled him with a strange, undeniable sense of relief. And he hated that.
“So don’t be mad, Hoon-ah.”
That soft, coaxing voice made Go Hoon feel as if something deep and messy inside him had been exposed. It was like Bae Jung-yoon could see straight through the confusion he couldn’t even admit to himself.
He turned and looked at him. Their eyes met, and Jung-yoon’s voice that followed carried a faint tinge of sadness.
“It hurts, seeing you look at me like that.”
“How am I looking at you?”
When he asked, Jung-yoon just stared at him for a long moment. Then, in a quiet voice, he answered—
“Like you hate me.”
Go Hoon clenched his jaw and slowly pulled his arm back.
But really, what difference would it make? Whether he snapped or glared like he despised him, it’s not like any of it would get through. Even that “It hurts” felt disingenuous somehow.
So his reply came out colder than expected.
“I don’t care who you sleep with. Just keep doing whatever you want.”
With that, Go Hoon walked straight to the bathroom. Bang. The door slammed shut behind him. He gripped the sink with both hands, leaning forward as a sigh slipped out of him.
Then he looked up—and caught his own reflection in the mirror. His face was unreadable. Was he angry? Or just… hurting?
You said you didn’t care who he saw. So why are you acting like this, like some lovesick idiot?
Go Hoon couldn’t make sense of it. His mind felt like it had gone off track. And just being around Bae Jung-yoon made him feel like his own brain was slowly breaking down.
Then the thought came—quiet, dark, and terrifying: Could I seriously… like Bae Jung-yoon?
As soon as it crossed his mind, he shook his head hard. No. Absolutely not. There was no way he could accept that. The idea that he, of all people, had feelings for Bae Jung-yoon?
He let out a short, bitter laugh and stripped off his clothes. But his shirt slipped from his fingers and fell to the floor. Another sigh—heavier this time—escaped him.
“…This is fucking insane.”
This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not with Bae Jung-yoon of all people. If the universe insisted on this kind of twisted fate, he’d rather it just end already.
He snatched the shirt up off the floor with a frustrated motion.
Screw it.
A cold shower. That’s what he needed right now. Something sharp and bracing enough to snap him out of it.
***
Go Hoon’s eyes flew open. Sunlight streamed through the gap in the curtains in long, golden slats.
No matter how much he wished the world would end, tomorrow always came anyway—like it was greeting him on purpose. It’d already been a few days since he ran into Choi Joo-won on campus.
Since then, nothing had really changed between him and Jung-yoon. They both acted as if nothing had ever happened.
And honestly, what could Go Hoon even do? So what if his feelings toward Bae Jung-yoon had shifted, just a little? It didn’t mean he was ready to act on them. So he had no choice but to pretend everything was fine.
What good would it do to stir up conflict now? Especially when his feelings weren’t even clear. And besides, sulking endlessly wasn’t in his nature.
What was the point of agonizing over a question with no answer? He figured it was better to let things run their course. Rather than obsessing over a situation that might not even mean anything, he should focus on worrying about the uncertain future instead.
He was almost a senior now. It was about time to get serious about job hunting. First step? Meeting graduation requirements—starting with prepping for the TOEIC.
Maybe it was finally time to sign up for a language academy. Thanks to Bae Jung-yoon, he actually had the time and money for it now.
Still sprawled out on the bed, letting his thoughts drift wherever they wanted, Go Hoon exhaled quietly and turned his head. Something felt strange.
It was quiet—too quiet. No one had curled up beside him. The spot next to him was empty.
He shot up and stretched both front legs with a big yawn. Then, by habit, he began grooming his snowy white fur, licking it in quick, methodical strokes.
He looked around. There was no sign of Bae Jung-yoon.
