Chapter 96
He was about to unconsciously agree with Yu Sol’s confident words when he suddenly came to his senses.
“…Wait. Sol, wait a minute.”
Seo Won stopped Yu Sol and pressed his forehead. Honestly, he was tempted for a very brief moment, but Yu Sol didn’t know an important fact.
That he was a guardian.
So it was understandable that she would misunderstand, wasn’t it? Even he had been confused.
After his boiling head cooled down, he could look at Baek Rak’s behavior objectively. Since guardians were essential to the shelter, naturally he had to show interest, approach first, and give advice.
On top of that, they were even having physical relations for the reason of awakening…
“…Ha.”
Seo Won swallowed a groan at the throbbing headache that rose up.
“Yoon Seo Won?”
Even at the worried voice calling him, he couldn’t respond. Apart from his mind organizing itself, his chest felt heavy. The things that had become special to him hadn’t moved Baek Rak at all. Only his own heart had pounded with attraction.
Seeing Yu Sol’s misunderstanding made him realize it even more painfully.
That he was the one with the one-sided crush, not Baek Rak.
Without knowing this, he had misunderstood someone who had no feelings for him, been disappointed on his own, and only blamed him.
Wasn’t he exactly the typical nuisance character that would appear in dramas or novels? Getting angry because he was rejected after giving his heart away to someone’s kindness, to situations where that person had no choice but to care – that’s exactly what he looked like.
“What’s wrong… why are you like this? Is something wrong?”
When Yu Sol took his hand, Seo Won slowly raised his head. Her eyes showed as much worry as her voice. That’s why he couldn’t bring himself to reveal the situation between him and Baek Rak. He just…
“Sol.”
“Yeah?”
Seo Won hesitated for a moment, then sighed briefly.
“…I know what you’re thinking, but that’s not it.”
“Not what?”
“I mean…”
He needed to correct the wrong facts first, but suddenly his vision went dark. He couldn’t get a grasp on where to start explaining and how. Moreover, he wondered if he should tell all these personal details to a young kid.
But it also felt wrong to hide things from Yu Sol, who had told him about Baek Rak’s and his own past. And seeing her struggling to mediate between them.
Even if he couldn’t tell her the detailed circumstances, he needed to open up to some degree and clear up the misunderstanding.
Seo Won rubbed his forehead and opened his mouth as if giving up.
“Baek Rak doesn’t like me.”
“…”
“He only cares because there’s a reason he has to look after me. I can’t tell you the details, but it’s not what you think, so don’t misunderstand.”
“Is it something you can’t talk about?”
“Something like that.”
“But Baek Rak’s expression and behavior…”
Yu Sol seemed confused by this situation. She thought she knew Baek Rak well, but now she was being told otherwise.
“Neither liking nor dating…”
She looked pitiful as she muttered with a frown. He felt just as frustrated, so he couldn’t hide his bitterness.
“Then, what about you, Yoon Seo Won?”
“…Me?”
“Yeah, what about you?”
He was about to say that he wasn’t much different either, but strangely his mouth wouldn’t open. It seemed he couldn’t hide his feelings after all.
When Seo Won slightly turned his head and avoided her gaze, Yu Sol’s eyes became narrowed and shrewd. After staring at him like that for a while, Yu Sol suddenly frowned and said quietly:
“Yoon Seo Won.”
“…”
“You, don’t tell me…”
Even though he didn’t answer, she seemed to have already figured it all out. Well, even he wouldn’t have been able to not notice. He had already shown everything through his actions, just not saying it outright.
Unable to even think of covering it up and continuing to avoid her gaze, Yu Sol suddenly shouted:
“Yoon Seo Won! Don’t tell me you confessed to Baek Rak?!”
“What? That’s not…!”
Flustered, Seo Won quickly raised his head and denied it. Then Yu Sol began pressing him rapid-fire.
“Then how did Baek Rak find out?”
“Huh? That, that’s… I mean.”
“Don’t tell me it was all written on your face?”
“That…”
“How can someone old enough to know better be so naive?”
“Old? I’m still young… no, naive?”
“Ha, really. What am I supposed to do with these people?”
Yu Sol rubbed her head roughly in distress. Then she began expressing her frustration as if looking at clueless children.
“Circumstances you can’t talk about? I don’t know about that, but I do know that Baek Rak is someone who clearly separates business from personal matters! But no matter how I think about it, I can’t understand Baek Rak’s behavior! There’s no way he’d treat someone he doesn’t like that way, right? That’s the only thought that comes to mind!”
“S-Sol, calm down for a moment…”
“That’s right. It’s not that I was wrong – you’re the one who’s wrong, Yoon Seo Won!”
“Huh…?”
“For Baek Rak, a one-way street would have been better, right? He’d only have to fold away his own feelings and endure. But he found out that wasn’t the case. Since it was obvious you’d both suffer together, he tried to push you away decisively.”
Seo Won gulped down dry saliva and shook his head frantically.
“No. Sol, you’re misunderstanding. Baek Rak is…”
“Baek Rak likes you. I’m certain.”
“Soool…”
Yu Sol didn’t seem to have any intention of changing her opinion. He had no idea how Baek Rak was perceived by this kid. How different must he be when dealing with her to make her so confident?
So wasn’t he being tempted again? Wondering if maybe, as Yu Sol said, he had rejected him out of fear of repeating the same pattern.
Seo Won hurriedly composed himself and pressed his forehead. He was anxious that he might get his hopes up again only to be disappointed. He knew it would be better to cleanly sort things out after being rejected once, but…
“…”
Human hearts wouldn’t go as one wished.
“Yoon Seo Won, please… don’t give up on Baek Rak. Of course he’ll reject you and hurt you for a while, but that’s not Baek Rak’s true feelings, so I hope you’ll brush it off.”
“…”
“The Baek Rak I know would never act that way toward someone he has no feelings for. Trust me. If you don’t give up and wait for him, Baek Rak will eventually acknowledge it too.”
“Yu Sol…”
“Please.”
Despite saying it wasn’t like that, they had returned to square one. Because of Yu Sol’s conviction. That’s why he couldn’t bring himself to abandon that small hope and wavered.
As if Yu Sol noticed this, she drove the point home.
“You know that once someone like Baek Rak opens his heart, he goes all the way, right? Aren’t you curious? How Baek Rak would act when he’s completely fallen for you.”
“…!”
“And you don’t want to let go like this either. If you just give up without trying anything, you’ll regret it later.”
“Sol, you really…”
“If one strike doesn’t knock it down, you have to strike ten times. If ten times doesn’t work, then a hundred times.”
It was such an unrealistic statement, but it was an appealing proposal nonetheless. Because he knew the thrill and sweetness of getting the desired result.
Besides, wasn’t it honestly unfair to end things like this?
If he didn’t give it his all, he’d obviously regret it later just as Yu Sol said. Wondering why he gave up so easily, whether he had gotten scared and timid too quickly.
If he had to end it, he’d need to leave no regrets to be able to shake it off cleanly.
“You’re not going to stupidly kick away the opportunity yourself, are you? You know very well how amazing and wonderful Baek Rak is…!”
“I got it. I got it, so stop it, Sol.”
Calming down Yu Sol who was giving a long speech about Baek Rak, Seo Won let out a sigh. Only then did relief appear on Yu Sol’s face.
“…Really? You won’t give up?”
“For now. I’ll do my best as far as I can.”
“Not as far as you can – you have to hold on and persist until the end!”
“Yu Sol.”
At Seo Won’s firm voice, Yu Sol flinched. To Yu Sol who was finally reading his mood, Seo Won quietly continued:
“This kind of thing should be handled between the parties involved. I understand what you’re thinking, but I’ll just accept your feelings. Got it?”
“…”
“Hmm? Sol.”
Her tightly closed mouth twitched. She had a lot she wanted to say, but she was careful not to create more resentment. In the end, Yu Sol had no choice but to nod.
“…I understand.”
“Thank you.”
“…Whatever.”
Seo Won sighed with slight relief and clasped Yu Sol’s hands. With her lips pouting and grumbling, she finally looked like a girl her age. Seo Won patted Yu Sol’s drooping shoulders.
It felt like a storm had swept through, but surprisingly nothing was broken or damaged. He even felt relieved. Since giving your heart first didn’t make you the weaker party, he resolved to do his best.
His feelings had probably already been discovered anyway, so maybe going forward shamelessly would be a good approach.
Seo Won took a deep breath and exhaled loudly.
Whether this decision was right or not, his churning heart settled down calmly. It was so absurd that he couldn’t help but laugh emptily.
Yu Sol looked puzzled, but Seo Won just shook his head.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
