Chapter 113
The guy who had been holding a cigarette kept his head down in the same position, only rolling his eyes upward. His gaze, which had been looking askance at him standing about ten steps away, turned to me. His face demanded an explanation, but this wasn’t the time to worry about Yoon Juho.
“Ah, um… Team Leader.”
This time his face subtly contorted at the title “Team Leader.” But I hoped he would understand. There was nothing good about Yoon Juho finding out about our relationship. It would only be handing him ammunition.
I bit my lower lip while gripping tightly onto the strap of the crossbody bag crossing diagonally over my chest. With both hands shoved in his pants pockets, he urged me on without moving a muscle.
“What are you doing there? We need to leave quickly.”
His smooth tone, no different from usual but concealing hostility, strangely made me more anxious.
“I’m sorry. You waited long, didn’t you? I was just about to leave…”
Prepared for the long journey, he was dressed in simple yet comfortable casual wear. Though his outfit wasn’t flashy, standing in an alley lined with old buildings made him quite conspicuous.
Just as I was about to move, crushing the cigarette I’d snatched from Yoon Juho in my hand, Yoon Juho stepped ahead of me.
“Hello, Team Leader.”
“……”
“We met at that ‘Creep’ whiskey event with an acquaintance. I’m actor Yoon Juho.”
“Ah… yes.”
He had been staring down at Yoon Juho’s outstretched hand for a handshake, then glanced at me over the guy’s shoulder. Seeing my tense face, he hardened his expression while roughly grasping Yoon Juho’s hand. However, it was far from a polite handshake.
“But what brings Team Leader to a place like this…”
“My hyung here was selected as our advertising model. I came to pick him up so we could travel to the shooting location together.”
“Hyung, you say. You two must have gotten quite close.”
I seemed to be the only one uncomfortable in this situation. I interjected between the two men continuing their meaningless conversation despite not being particularly glad to see each other.
“Because of the advertisement… we got closer through meetings. Team Leader takes good care of me.”
“That’s quite something to be grateful for.”
Pfft, at the end of Yoon Juho’s words, he covered his mouth with the back of his hand and let out a short laugh. It was clearly a rude laugh, and clearly an intentional laugh meant to be rude.
At his provocation, Yoon Juho’s face could no longer pretend composure and twisted menacingly. I just wanted to leave this place before Yoon Juho found more evidence to suspect our relationship.
With a face forcing back laughter, he said to Yoon Juho:
“It’s not something for Yoon Juho-ssi to be grateful for. Rather, I’m the one who…”
“Let’s go, Team Leader.”
I grabbed his arm as he was about to step closer to Yoon Juho and pulled him back. Surprisingly, he immediately complied with me and changed his attitude. Turning his body in the direction I was pulling, he looked down at me with a worried tone and expression.
“Shall we? We’re already too delayed, aren’t we? You must be tired from work, so rest your eyes in the car on the way.”
Whatever happened, I had to prevent the two from having a longer conversation. Getting away from this place was the priority. I could see a convenience store about 50 meters ahead as he had mentioned. I dragged his arm toward it without thinking. Just when I thought he was following well, he refused to be led and stopped before taking even a few steps.
He grabbed my left wrist. Opening the fist I had been unconsciously clenching tight, he collected the cigarette that had been bent in half with crumbs spilling out.
“We should throw away trash like this before we go.”
He pushed the cigarette into a gap in a tightly tied garbage bag someone had put out, then placed his hand on my back in a friendly gesture and gave me a light push.
“Jung Jiin.”
Yoon Juho called me from behind. Neither of us turned around.
“You heard what the director said earlier, right? That we need to become people who’ve shown each other our intimate sides for the work to come alive.”
“……”
Again, I didn’t slow my pace, but he fell for the provocation and turned back.
“See you at the next reading.”
Yoon Juho spoke with a satisfied tone as if he’d gotten one over on us. I didn’t have the courage to look up and check his reaction.
His SUV was parked further inside from the convenience store. Even after I sat in the passenger seat, he didn’t get in the car. Standing with the driver’s door open, he grabbed his wallet and asked me:
“I’ll buy some drinks from the convenience store. What would you like?”
“Sports drink…”
Nodding with a stiff expression and closing the door, he disappeared into the convenience store.
Even though we’d shaken off Yoon Juho and were alone, the tension didn’t ease at all. Rather, it felt like this was just the beginning.
He definitely wouldn’t pressure me using the earlier situation as an excuse. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t feeling jealous.
When I said I wanted to end the relationship, if only Yoon Juho had quietly backed down. If only he hadn’t staged those scenes in front of him at the whiskey brand event. Then maybe he wouldn’t be this wary of Yoon Juho.
Thinking this made me even angrier at that guy.
I leaned my head against the headrest and took a deep breath. Still, my indignant feelings wouldn’t easily subside.
If someone he’d been sleeping with for a long time was still hanging around him, how would I feel? For example, if Yujun wasn’t just his friend and colleague, but someone who’d had a physical relationship with him for a long time?
It’s only because he has no one but me now. Could I have buried it away saying the past is just the past? Especially when the other person clearly still felt desire for him, even if he might not?
I straightened up from leaning back, following with my eyes his path as he came out of the convenience store and walked toward the car.
It took quite a while just to buy two drinks and a pack of cigarettes. He probably deliberately took time to control his emotions.
After handing me a drink, he input the destination into the navigation system.
“It says it’ll take about 3 hours and 40 minutes to the resort. I guess it’s because it’s not rush hour.”
Then he slowly started the car to get onto the main road first.
“It must be hard driving alone. I’m sorry…”
“I had to drink because of work, so it can’t be helped.”
His voice showed no anger at all. But he wasn’t looking at me at all, only watching the road ahead.
Since this was a trip I had been looking forward to just as much, I was unspeakably upset that the atmosphere had frozen over. Having made time with difficulty, it felt like a waste to spend it this way.
I twisted open the sports drink and gathered my courage with difficulty.
“……Does it bother you?”
Only then did he look at me. The car that had exited the alley in front of the convenience store and turned left was moving slowly with a school building on the right.
“I want to say it doesn’t bother me, but… I already showed it too obviously.”
“About the thing with Yoon Juho… should I just tell you everything? Would it be more comfortable knowing?”
“I believe what you said about not sleeping with anyone else since we met in Bangkok. I’m not doing this because I don’t trust hyung, but because I’m lacking.”
“I told him properly that I wanted to end it, but… he’s the type who can be stubborn… honestly, I didn’t expect him to come out like that either. I thought when I said I wanted to quit, he’d agree without even asking why…”
After checking in the rearview mirror that no cars were following, he parked in an empty spot under the school’s wall. After turning off the lights too, the car’s presence faded as it blended into the surrounding darkness.
Unbuckling his seatbelt and loosening his posture, he stared silently at the steering wheel for a moment. Then he quietly spoke.
“The thing with that bastard, whether you were dating…”
“No. That’s really not it.”
At my firm voice, he turned to look this way. I thought this was probably the first time I’d ever explained so desperately to someone.
“Just because we weren’t dating doesn’t make it honorable, but… we really weren’t dating.”
He picked up the cigarette pack he’d bought from the convenience store, breathing deeply through his nose with his mouth closed.
“What’s there to not be honorable about? It’s not like you cheated or two-timed anyone. Don’t misunderstand. I’m really not… blaming hyung.”
Rolling down the window about a third of the way, he took out a lighter from the center console and lit a cigarette.
“You can get angry if you’re angry.”
“How can I get angry when hyung didn’t do anything wrong?”
“Still… you’re in a bad mood.”
I keenly felt at times like this how extremely lacking my dating experience was. I wanted to somehow improve his mood, but every word was difficult, like walking through a minefield where I didn’t know where I might touch something wrong and set off an explosion.
While tapping cigarette ash into the car’s ashtray, he spoke in a voice suppressing sharpness:
“Did that bastard confess to you?”
“……”
“That he likes you? That he loves you?”
“I’ve never heard him say things like that.”
“You don’t need words to know. You can tell from that bastard’s behavior. He can’t let hyung go and keeps dragging it out.”
His profile as he brought the cigarette to his lips looked anxious.
Even though he wasn’t doubting my feelings or what I’d said, the reason he was this anxious wasn’t because he was lacking.
Even while saying he’d dreamed of me for a long time, he didn’t easily put the word “love” in his mouth. Nevertheless, I had never felt any gaps in his love. His love needed no words. Every single action toward me was love given with full effort every moment.
I unbuckled my seatbelt and placed my hand on his shoulder.
“I clearly told him that I have someone I like.”
“……”
“Though I couldn’t say it was you.”
“How did that come up?”
“To convince him… of why I wouldn’t… sleep with him anymore…”
His left arm stretched out long and pulled my neck as he roughly pressed his cigarette into the ashtray. As our lips overlapped, I wanted his smooth tongue to enter me. Leaning my upper body toward the driver’s seat, I hesitated without being able to open my lips, glancing outside the windshield.
“I won’t stop even if hyung gets anxious.”
His lips, tinged with the sharp and bitter scent of cigarettes, were stimulating rather than stale. Extending his right hand as well to embrace my neck, he pushed me as if he might climb over to the passenger seat, stirring his tongue densely.
After gently stimulating my particularly sensitive palate with his tongue tip before withdrawing, he bit my lower lip and sucked hard. The mucous membrane inside his upper lip and the mucous membrane inside my lower lip interlocked and rubbed against each other, creating wet friction sounds.
“Ugh, mm…”
A low moan echoed from deep in my throat. He scraped my lips with his teeth and pulled back. Then he whispered with disheveled breath:
“I should have done this in front of that bastard.”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
