Chapter 70
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Even though 10 AM wasn’t early morning, the entertainment district alley leading to <Dom> was as silent as dawn at sunrise.
A drunk man and woman came stumbling out of the entrance of a host bar with the sign <Top Princess>, leaning on each other. A man who appeared to be the host bar’s madam followed them out belatedly and stopped them as they tried to rush toward the taxi I was in.
The driver slowed down the taxi and opened the window to shout at them.
“Hey, do you need a taxi?”
“Cheonho-dong!”
“I’ll drop off this passenger in the next alley and come back out, so wait a moment! Don’t call another taxi!”
The driver seemed pleased to have a long-distance passenger from the morning. He didn’t seem worried about picking up drunk customers. It was a scene I often saw when coming to this alley around <Dom>’s closing time.
As I got out of the taxi with my luggage, two men pushed out of <Dom>’s door. From their lustrous, provocative black suits, they seemed like hosts heading home to satisfy their hunger after work.
Could both of them even be twenty years old yet? Despite being tired, their youthful appearance showed through as they whispered my name and nudged each other, but they didn’t approach to talk to me. They seemed like regulars at <Dom> who knew well that I was Taeyoon’s friend, and that bothering me would mean getting twice the trouble from Taeyoon.
When I entered through the wooden door, Taeyoon was standing inside the counter talking on the phone with someone.
“Who meant for you to move out? Is saying let’s clean up the house a bit such an impossible thing to say? You want to move out yourself, so why are you using me as an excuse?”
He looked this way, raised his hand to acknowledge me, then focused back on his call.
I put down the box I brought on the counter table and started organizing the empty dishes that seemed to belong to the customers who had just left.
“Who isn’t busy? Do you work alone? These days when you’re at home you just hold onto your phone… anyway, at least organize the living room on your next day off. The air purifier might break down from all the dust.”
It seemed to be a call with Gayoon. Taeyoon looked troubled after ending the call. Standing there for a moment, he sighed. He was probably already regretting raising his voice earlier.
“You said you called to congratulate me, but what’s with bringing so much stuff again?”
Taeyoon began untying the string on the box I brought with a reluctant voice. Unlike usual, his back looked dejected. Taeyoon would blame himself even over small arguments that siblings living together might normally have. Gayoon was that special a younger sister to him.
“I went to Noryangjin.”
“From this morning?”
“Since I woke up early.”
“What made you go all the way there to buy this? Hey, but the fish market really is generous. The sashimi is overflowing from the container.”
Taeyoon marveled at the generous amount as he took out the styrofoam container from the low box.
“I’ll do the dishes, so prepare the food. I got ingredients for spicy fish stew too.”
“Spicy stew sounds great! Should I make it sharp and spicy?”
Taeyoon’s voice finally regained some of its usual energy when he found the ingredients in the box.
After he left, I couldn’t fall asleep until late. It had been a day when many things happened, I had drunk quite a lot of wine, and although he had expended much more energy than me, we had even had sex – yet my body refused to sleep.
For the first time since my debut, I had been given a role I desperately wanted but thought I couldn’t get. I had entered into a romantic relationship with him. And he was that child from the past.
But the reason for my insomnia wasn’t just excitement.
Inside my ticklishly fluttering chest, I could feel anxiety like a pebble.
I didn’t think that being lovers meant we had to share all our past, wounds, and burdens. But if it was truly important past, shouldn’t it be shared? Such worries raised their heads.
Just as I ultimately couldn’t develop deep relationships with partners I couldn’t confess my desire to be entangled more roughly and messily with, wouldn’t he eventually feel walls because of the heavy secret I couldn’t tell?
I had thought that my pain alone was enough. That if I kept the secret, everyone could remain peaceful as they had been until now. That’s why I left Paeli…
Having been alone for so long, my life neither affected anyone nor was affected by anyone. Enduring alone was enough. But a romantic relationship demanded deeper bonds. Even while thinking I didn’t need to confess right now, I had to toss and turn unable to sleep.
“For Hallyu star Jung Jiin.”
Determined to create a proper raw fish restaurant atmosphere, Taeyoon had even made corn cheese in a cast iron pan, making the drinking table quite abundant.
His face, chin slightly raised, already believed in success. I chuckled and clinked my glass against his.
“Even if I don’t make it that far, please remain my friend.”
“Don’t say such unlucky things. This time it’s really your turn.”
I had no greed for being a Hallyu star, but my desire to finish this project well was growing stronger.
Was it because I carried an unresolved problem? Despite being day drinking, the bitter taste of soju I hadn’t had in a while was quite welcome.
“Actor Jung, if you do well with this drama, please take good care of our Gayoon.”
While picking up a piece of the least fatty red tuna belly and putting it in my mouth, I glanced at Taeyoon.
“I might seem materialistic asking you to take care of my sister before your success… but you know she has talent. It’s a field where talent alone doesn’t guarantee anything, and I can’t provide much backing for her…”
I handed chopsticks to him who was only emptying glasses even with sashimi that would make anyone jump up from sleep in front of him.
“This time I have a big role so the contract conditions are good. I need to discuss properly with the company, but I was thinking of having Gayoon work exclusively for me, at least until this project ends.”
“Really? But then… wouldn’t you be at a loss?”
“I’m investing for my character’s completeness, not losing anything. I think I’d feel more at ease if Gayoon could focus only on me.”
Only then did Taeyoon seem to relax and be happy.
Since it was a rare opportunity, the company had subtly suggested having a famous stylist director handle the work. But I had clearly refused on the spot. Gayoon was skilled enough that there was no need to take risks for the sake of loyalty.
“Even during our teenage rebellious phases it wasn’t like this, but these days that kid and I fight every day. I work nights, and he has irregular hours coming home… when we do have time, he just holds onto his phone. We don’t even have proper conversations.”
While it was true that Gayoon checked her phone frequently, it was mostly because of stocks. For stock investment focused on blue chips, her return rate was quite impressive, but even so, it was a secret from Taeyoon.
Gayoon’s thinking was that oppa would unconditionally consider stocks as speculation, so regardless of the return rate, he would definitely make a fuss telling her to withdraw the money. Unfortunately, I had to agree with that.
“These days he’s making a fuss about saving money to move out separately. We’re the only blood relatives in the world, so I’d like us to live together at least until one of us gets married, but I guess that’s not what he thinks.”
I patted the dejected Taeyoon’s back and filled his empty glass.
During their time attending international school together in Paeli, Taeyoon and Gayoon’s family had been wealthy. They had been a family of three since moving to Paeli, and I had never heard about their mother.
Their father, after business failure, stubbornly refused to file for bankruptcy. After returning to Korea and unreasonably taking on debt, he struggled for several years before ultimately taking his own life. While common in news headlines, it was a horrific reality for those involved.
Having grown accustomed to luxury clothing and high-end mansion living during their teenage years, the two had to wander for a long time before adapting to their new environment.
Taeyoon found work at a host bar and became the ace with the highest sales in the establishment in less than six months. After saving enough money to open <Dom>, he left the industry after three years.
I reunited with them after all those events had swept through like a storm.
“She’s independent by nature. And Gayoon is thinking of you too. She’s telling you to live your own life instead of worrying about her.”
“Am I not living my own life then? Whose life am I living?”
Knowing what I meant, Taeyoon muttered pointless words and swallowed his soju.
Hard lives existed everywhere. I wasn’t low enough to feel relieved confirming that the world wasn’t harsh only to me, but it served as a painkiller that could somewhat calm the pain.
No need to whine. It’s not something everyone experiences, but you’re not the only one who knows the taste of pain.
Thinking that way, I could somewhat calm my anger and resentment.
Since it was a rare drinking session just between us two, we emptied soju bottles quite quickly. Taeyoon, who poured me the last glass of the second bottle, briefly disappeared into the kitchen to get new soju. Meanwhile, my phone on the table vibrated and gradually moved to the right.
“Who’s calling this early in the morning?”
Taeyoon, coming around the counter with soju, asked in a surprised tone. Seeing the name on the screen, I felt slight disappointment as I answered.
“Uh… Yoon Juho.”
“Aren’t you going to answer?”
Unlike me, Taeyoon seemed pleased with that name.
What reaction would Taeyoon show if he knew I had become lovers with someone other than Yoon Juho? I thought about this as I connected the call.
[Hey.]
[…Why are you answering on the first ring for once?]
[Is it a problem if I answer? What’s up?]
I could hear a tongue clicking from the other end.
[I called to congratulate you on the casting.]
[Ah… I’m busy, you don’t need to worry about such things. Thanks.]
Since I thought we weren’t close enough to carefully handle such congratulatory greetings, the purpose of the call was unexpected. I felt embarrassed for being grumpy to someone who said they called to congratulate me.
I hadn’t lived a life deserving to be called rude. Strangely, only Yoon Juho always made me out to be a heartless person.
Even though I didn’t want to be treated that way by anyone, especially not by Yoon Juho.
[But what was that about last time?]
[What?]
[When Knox gave you the card key. You told me to find another owner.]
[……]
Before I could answer anything, he finished the conversation from his end.
[Ah, never mind. We’ll see each other often anyway because of filming. We’ll talk then.]
[Hey.]
Sensing he might hang up immediately, I called him urgently.
[Can you talk briefly right now?]
[I’m at the shop. Getting makeup done, so briefly is fine. Why?]
[The last time we drank together… wasn’t that six months ago?]
My voice dropped about a tone, conscious of Taeyoon sitting next to me. He was pretending not to be interested, poking at the sashimi, but I could practically see his rabbit ears perked up toward this direction.
It probably wouldn’t have much effect, but I turned my head toward the wall as I spoke to Yoon Juho.
[With this much time passed, I thought that ambiguous relationship was over now, that you’d accept it that way.]
[Since it’s an ambiguous relationship, don’t we not need to deliberately end it? Whether it’s once every six months or once a year, we can sleep together when we feel like it. Like now.]
[Really? I don’t feel like it anymore.]
Silence continued. Then from the other end of the phone, I could faintly hear Yoon Juho sending staff completely out of the room. After a moment, his voice came close again.
[……Do you have something going on?]
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
