Baek Tae-beom had noticed it.
That there was some kind of fail-safe in place when it came to Choi Ga-hyeon accepting emotions.
Whenever he stared off into space for a moment and blinked, all traces of emotion would vanish from Choi Ga-hyeon’s face. Baek Tae-beom had witnessed that strange phenomenon more than once.
But Baek Tae-beom saw it in a positive light. He didn’t know exactly what kind of <System> it was, but he recognized that it functioned to protect Choi Ga-hyeon. And if it served to protect him, then it didn’t matter what it was—he welcomed it. After all, Choi Ga-hyeon was someone who had already died once. Excessive thoughts and emotions were bound to act as poison to him.
How could a human body and mind possibly endure unscathed? Especially when the goal was to prevent the destruction of the world. Even if a part of Choi Ga-hyeon was a Constellation.
So Baek Tae-beom began to invade his space, bit by bit. Until the thought of daily life without Baek Tae-beom became inconceivable. Gradually, he melted into Choi Ga-hyeon’s life.
Having Baek Tae-beom take care of meals became the norm. His absence felt awkward. The idea of being apart wouldn’t even cross his mind anymore. Baek Tae-beom seeped through the cracks of Choi Ga-hyeon’s broken heart like falling water. And Baek Tae-beom was certain—he could synchronize with his life.
This was someone he had already waited years for. Waiting any longer wouldn’t change a thing. To Baek Tae-beom, Choi Ga-hyeon had already become his everyday. In every breath he took, Choi Ga-hyeon existed. So even when Choi Ga-hyeon instinctively tried to push him away, Baek Tae-beom didn’t mind.
Still, at times, his indifferent attitude hurt.
“…W-What are you doing? Are you two… dating?”
“What? Don’t be ridiculous.”
With a blank expression, Choi Ga-hyeon denied it like it was nothing. Baek Tae-beom could only stare down at him, forgetting to even breathe. Choi Ga-hyeon didn’t spare him a glance. As if there wasn’t a shred of interest left for him.
Why?
He needed to slowly retrace where things had gone wrong. This wasn’t something to be dismissed with such a firm denial. If Baek Tae-beom had been more rational, he might have realized that Choi Ga-hyeon had glanced at him before replying. But unfortunately, anything involving Choi Ga-hyeon made Baek Tae-beom irrational.
So he fell into a spiral, wondering whether Choi Ga-hyeon really had no feelings for him.
That wasn’t it. Judging by his past behavior, Baek Tae-beom could be certain—at the very least, Choi Ga-hyeon liked him as a person.
Then… was he still afraid of him?
Baek Tae-beom remembered how Choi Ga-hyeon used to look at him with fearful eyes. But that wasn’t happening anymore. If he were still afraid, he wouldn’t be spending this much time with him.
If it wasn’t that, then…
Was Choi Ga-hyeon uncomfortable with him?
Baek Tae-beom felt as though a light had suddenly turned on in his pitch-black mind. He hadn’t even considered that. The urge to shove his head into a trash can was overwhelming.
It was unlikely—but if by some miracle, Choi Ga-hyeon had been feeling burdened by all of Baek Tae-beom’s actions…
Then what?
Baek Tae-beom forgot that Lee Myung-won was standing right in front of him. All he wanted was to ask Choi Ga-hyeon directly.
“How do you plan to infiltrate?”
“You have the hair we cut off from Kim Seong-jae, right?”
Choi Ga-hyeon asked casually, eyes forward. Baek Tae-beom parted his lips.
‘Hyung… am I too much for you?’
‘Is that why you don’t like me?’
‘Is that why you said those things?’
He wanted to drop to his knees at his feet and beg for an answer. He wanted to press his forehead to Choi Ga-hyeon’s thigh, then look up and meet his eyes.
But in his imagination, Choi Ga-hyeon only stared back with indifference, driving Baek Tae-beom closer to the edge.
‘Hyung, you’re already everything to me.’
‘So why aren’t I the same for you?’
‘Why not?’
‘Was I not enough?’
Even during the infiltration planning for Red Apple, Baek Tae-beom couldn’t focus. He just threw out responses without thinking.
Then he suddenly realized—Choi Ga-hyeon was going in alone.
The thought nearly drove him insane.
Baek Tae-beom had no idea how many times he hesitated in front of Choi Ga-hyeon’s door. He wanted to burst in and ask him right now—
‘Hyung, do you know how much I love you?’
Where was he supposed to project this feeling?
After that, Choi Ga-hyeon’s behavior grew noticeably awkward. Even while eating, he seemed to be constantly gauging Baek Tae-beom’s mood—like something weighed on him.
Baek Tae-beom felt like his insides were burning.
And yet, he still couldn’t bring himself to ask.
‘What if he says I make him uncomfortable?’
‘What if he tells me to stop acting like this?’
Even after sending him inside Red Apple, he was too anxious to move a single step. Even though he was wearing Kim Seong-jae’s appearance, to Baek Tae-beom, he felt exactly the same.
Even later, when he saw Choi Ga-hyeon plummeting toward him—
He couldn’t take his eyes off him.
The warmth of Choi Ga-hyeon filling his arms felt unbearably precious. Baek Tae-beom realized all over again—there was no escaping the person before him.
“How did the data turn out?”
“Here.”
Choi Ga-hyeon held up a USB stick, the corners of his lips lifting into a faint smile. Baek Tae-beom asked again.
“You’re not hurt anywhere?”
“I’m fine.”
“Really?”
“Why?”
Baek Tae-beom leaned in close to Choi Ga-hyeon’s face. Watching him instinctively pull back, he swallowed a bitter smile.
“Why all of a sudden…?”
“We agreed, right? If things got dangerous, I’d be the first one you’d call. So why didn’t you call me, even when it got this serious?”
Choi Ga-hyeon suddenly lowered his gaze. Baek Tae-beom instantly knew he was about to lie. Every little thing about him was transparent to Baek Tae-beom—yet Choi Ga-hyeon still insisted on saying such implausible things.
He couldn’t hold back anymore.
“…I didn’t think it would blow up like this.”
“Really?”
That startled gaze, the tilted head, the hesitating, slightly parted red lips, those large, dark eyes—every part of him that faced Baek Tae-beom made him aware of just how filthy his own desire could be.
Ah. His legs went numb. All the blood in his body surged to one point. He instinctively held his breath to control his racing heart. With the excuse of feeling dizzy, he wanted to press their lips together right now. To back him into the corner of the car and bite down on those full lips, marking him, swallowing him whole.
If he tried to pull away, he’d clasp those small hands tightly. He wanted to kiss him deeply enough to share even his breath, to destroy every boundary between them and turn this connection into a glorious mess.
“But why are you avoiding my eyes?”
Yet the only sentence he was allowed to say was this one.
“Why does it matter whether I avoid your eyes or not…”
“You’ve got something to tell me.”
“Don’t you have something to tell me, instead?”
“Me?”
“You…”
Choi Ga-hyeon slapped Baek Tae-beom’s hand away and twisted his face. Then he let out a sigh. Burying his face in his hands, it was as if he couldn’t even imagine Baek Tae-beom harboring such desire for him.
That’s why he wasn’t running. That’s why he was still here.
Baek Tae-beom understood. Maybe it had been too much. He was ready to tear himself apart and reassemble into whatever form Choi Ga-hyeon wanted. Because to him, Choi Ga-hyeon was the only one.
But he needed a clear answer.
“…Forget it. Let’s just go back to the guild.”
“I don’t want to.”
“What?”
“Say it. All of it.”
What exactly was the issue? What made it feel so burdensome?
“Why should I?”
“Then are you just going to keep sitting there? With that expression on your face?”
“What kind of expression do you think I’m making?”
The kind of face that looked ready to cry at any moment. Baek Tae-beom held back his reply. It was around this point that something started to feel off. Like the wheels had come off track.
“Hyung. Do you realize something’s been off since this morning?”
It felt like they were in the middle of a lovers’ quarrel…
“Did I do something wrong?”
Like there’d been some sort of misunderstanding.
‘Misunderstanding?’
“…You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Then why are you doing this? Why are you lying to me?”
Choi Ga-hyeon bit his lip. Baek Tae-beom thought it was a terrible habit. Every time he was flustered or at a loss for what to do, Choi Ga-hyeon bit his lip—and to Baek Tae-beom, it was almost unbearably erotic. When he did it now, his face crumpled into a mess.
Then he shoved Baek Tae-beom’s shoulders away.
“You really want to know? Why I’m acting like this?”
“Hyung?”
“Yesterday… yesterday you were acting so different, and it made me upset. I was hurt. Okay? Once I started noticing every little thing, I couldn’t stop thinking about them, and now I can’t even look you in the eye!”
Choi Ga-hyeon’s face was turning bright red. A deep, vivid blush spread across his cheeks like a ripened tomato—it was a sight to behold.
Only then did Baek Tae-beom realize.
This had all been a misunderstanding.
And not just any misunderstanding.
They were both being idiots.
“I knew I must’ve done something wrong, but you wouldn’t tell me what, and then this morning you’re acting like everything’s normal, but I can’t stop thinking about yesterday! It’s stupid, right? I know! But I can’t help it, it’s bothering me!”
“Hyung, wait a second—Hyung.”
“Damn it, he knows I’m bothered and he still acts like that…”
“Hyung, hyung. I’m sorry. Okay? Ga-hyeon hyung.”
This man had spent the entire day on edge, not even knowing what he’d supposedly said wrong, constantly watching Baek Tae-beom’s expression, caught in anxious hesitation. Baek Tae-beom couldn’t help but laugh as he pulled Choi Ga-hyeon into a tight embrace.
What was he supposed to do with someone this heartbreakingly lovable?
Baek Tae-beom thought back. Now that he reconsidered, back then Choi Ga-hyeon hadn’t even looked at him—he’d spoken to Ahn Ki-yoon instead. It had been obvious he was either flustered or shy. And yet Baek Tae-beom hadn’t picked up on it.
“So that’s why you acted like that? Because I wasn’t taking care of you like I usually do?”
“Shut up…”
“Is that what you want? You want me to always dote on you? You want me to only ever care about you?”
Choi Ga-hyeon didn’t deny it. Baek Tae-beom nearly burst out laughing. He wanted to rain kisses on the man who was now resting his head on his shoulder.
“Let me see your face, Hyung. Yeah?”
“If you try to look at my face right now, I’ll never look at yours again.”
That finally made Baek Tae-beom laugh out loud.
“I was just overthinking things, that’s all. It wasn’t because I hated you or anything.”
“…That’s it?”
“Yes, that’s all it was.”
“I didn’t say anything wrong to you?”
“Of course not. How could I ever hate anything you say?”
Choi Ga-hyeon reached out and clung to his arm.
“Even if you ever said something hurtful to me, I’d never hate you. So don’t worry.”
He could feel the anxiety in the man held against him slowly dissolving. Like a cat that had knocked over the furniture, watched the owner’s reaction from afar for ages, and only dared to relax once forgiven.
“Hyung, do you know why I’m by your side?”
“Why the hell are you suddenly asking a question like that?”
Choi Ga-hyeon mumbled into Baek Tae-beom’s shoulder. Baek Tae-beom smiled and answered.
“It’s simple. Because I like you.”
‘So much it drives me insane.’
“Because I like you, that’s why I stay right by your side.”
“…You’re embarrassing. Stop it.”
Baek Tae-beom thought maybe—maybe this one thing at least was being properly conveyed. Maybe Choi Ga-hyeon could read all of his emotions clearly. But he didn’t mind. As long as Choi Ga-hyeon knew how he felt, that was enough.
“Then can I ask you for one thing?”
“What is it?”
“Promise you’ll say yes.”
Choi Ga-hyeon glanced at him sideways.
“…Fine. I’ll do it.”
“Let me hold your hand. Until we get back.”
He blinked, clearly caught off guard by the completely unexpected request.
“What?”
Baek Tae-beom repeated, word for word.
“Let me hold your hand. Until we get back.”
And with that, he calmly reached out his hand.
“What are you trying to do with me?”
“I’m asking to hold your hand.”
“Why would you do that?”
“Because I like you.”
He gathered the ripened emotion into his hands.
‘If I say I love you, you’ll run away.’
Choi Ga-hyeon slowly placed his hand in Baek Tae-beom’s palm. Baek Tae-beom’s fingers twitched, lacing them together through his, locking them tight. He held onto that hand like it was the only warmth in the world.
