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The elevator carrying all three of them went straight up to the royal floor without stopping once. Only a few guest rooms, including the suite where Yoon Donghwan was staying, were located on that floor. Having showered in Yoon Donghwan’s hotel bathroom several times before, Taein had grown accustomed to the building’s floor decorations, expensive artwork hanging on the walls, and sculptures standing in front of the elevators. At first, they had caught his eye for being fascinating and impressive, but he no longer had any interest in them. Today, he was particularly bothered by how Yoon Donghwan was carrying Eundo slung over his shoulder.
It wasn’t a pile of hay, so where was there a case of carrying a child like this?
He had said several times to give him the child, or at least hold him properly.
Each time, Yoon Donghwan only turned his head toward him and sent an uncomfortable stare.
“What are you looking at…? Don’t hold him like that.”
It wasn’t like he was being overly fussy—Eundo was even coughing. Making “kek, kek” sounds as if his stomach was being pressed, and even when he flailed his hands saying “hyung,” Yoon Donghwan was still crudely carrying the child slung over his shoulder. Only when the coughing sounds finally echoed through the elevator did Yoon Donghwan correct his posture. With a “What am I supposed to do?” expression, he lowered Eundo, who had his arms and head hanging behind his back, down to about shoulder level.
“Give him to me.”
“Hey… if you don’t know, you should teach me.”
“…What?”
“Teach me how to hold a child.”
“Why would I, no.”
Why should I teach you that, and why are you trying to learn it? These words rose to the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t finish speaking because Eundo looked like he might slip and fall. Eundo was tall for his age group, but looked at separately, he was no more than a kindergartener. The sight of a frail child’s body being held by a man as big as a house didn’t look good. Taein had no choice but to guide the positioning of his arms and help Eundo bury his head deep in his embrace.
“He’s not a newborn, and if you can’t even hold a child this old…”
“Can’t hold him, then what.”
“…Never mind.”
It didn’t require any special technique, and there was nothing to be as careful about as holding a newborn, so why couldn’t he do this? Couldn’t he think? There were many things he could say, but after filtering them out, only “never mind” came out. Taein, who seemed quite tired, looked at Eundo, who was sleeping well even in a complete stranger’s arms. His mouth was open in an “o” shape, looking like drool might flow at any moment.
At least the guest room was close to the elevator, so they didn’t have to walk down the corridor for long.
The large door opened and a familiar smell wafted out. It was closer to a scent than a fragrance. Yoon Donghwan’s distinctive body odor mixed with expensive alcohol and some grass-like fragrance from who knows where was entering his nose. It was a scent he had smelled every time he came here, so he didn’t particularly notice it.
Only after entering the guest room did Yoon Donghwan relax the strength in his arms holding Eundo. He handed him over head-first to Taein with a face that said “now you take him.”
Taein, with his brow slightly furrowed, took Eundo and headed toward the bed while holding the child.
“Hey, is this your house?”
He had unconsciously headed there because he knew where the bed was located, but Yoon Donghwan was right. Although he had forcibly brought him and Eundo here, now that they were in the guest room, Yoon Donghwan’s permission was needed. Taein stopped walking and only turned his head to the side.
“…Still, you came here first—”
“Oh ho. ‘You.'”
In the midst of it all, it was a correction about the form of address. Taein frowned so only he would know, then opened his mouth again.
“…Wasn’t it Yoon Donghwan-ssi who came here first…? If that’s really the case, I’ll just put the child to sleep.”
Yoon Donghwan, who had gone near the sofa, undid one button that had been fastened up to his neck. Perhaps it had been stuffy all along, as he immediately undid the button right below it as well. Then he plopped down on the sofa and only leaned his body toward the table. Perhaps he had no intention of answering from the beginning, as he even reached for a lukewarm water bottle. Taein watched this scene while holding Eundo, then turned his body around. It didn’t matter to him either way, but he wanted to lay the child down on the bed.
After stepping over two wide steps that caught his feet, a large bed appeared.
Taein slowly laid Eundo down at the edge of the bed. The child, who had been tense since morning waiting for his hyung and hadn’t even taken an afternoon nap at lunch time, was belatedly falling into deep sleep. Taein quietly looked at the child who had maintained the position he had laid him in.
His heart, which had been uncomfortable and irritated because of Yoon Donghwan, felt like it was being tickled by soft down.
After a while, he heard what sounded like muttering to himself: “What are you doing?” The tone was like talking to himself, but it was loud enough that it sounded like he was speaking right next to him. Taein moved only his eyes to look to the side, then came down from the level where the bed was as if he had no choice. When he slowly stepped down the two steps and came out, he could see that Yoon Donghwan had somehow completely removed his top.
He had seen him shirtless a few times before, so it didn’t feel that repulsive.
Taein stopped in front of the steps and just touched his own arm. He was pinching near his elbow and doing other things when Yoon Donghwan’s voice was heard once more.
“What are you doing, I said.”
“…I’m not doing anything.”
“Not doing anything? If you’re not doing anything, come over here.”
“……”
For some reason he didn’t want to go, but since he was told to come, he had no choice. Taein walked as slowly as possible in his socked feet. Donghwan only said to come over and was leaning his body against the sofa backrest. The sleek, voluminous leather sofa and Yoon Donghwan’s body went quite well together, but it was just a simple observation. His chest and shoulders, built with thick muscle, were frustratingly well-defined. He was big and his muscle size was extraordinary, yet he was properly shaped like that.
“Uh, sit down.”
Yoon Donghwan, who had been resting his wide-spread arms on the sofa, nodded his head once. His eyes also seemed to have something to say, so Taein sat down as if squeezing himself into a corner of what was presumed to be a three-seater sofa. Then Yoon Donghwan’s body, who had been sitting on the opposite side, leaned toward Taein.
Suddenly his head touched his thigh, and Taein startled and tried to get up.
“What are you doing…?”
“Pheromone rising.”
“……”
Yoon Donghwan, who had briefly closed his eyes, lifted his eyelids and stared straight up at him.
“Let’s at least do this much.”
“……”
“Huh? Let’s at least do this much.”
“…Handle it yourself.”
Taein, who reluctantly muttered, kept making eye contact with Yoon Donghwan, who was chuckling.
It would be more awkward to avoid it or look elsewhere.
“Handle it myself?”
“…Yes.”
Looking down like this, it seemed like someone else’s face was coming to mind from Yoon Donghwan again. He definitely resembled someone. Now Yoon Donghwan’s presence had become too strong, so Gu Wanjae had been erased instead, but when he caught glimpses like this, Gu Wanjae’s face would inevitably come to mind again. Taein made a complicated expression by himself at the thought of Gu Wanjae that came to mind instantly. Before he could notice, his brow narrowed and his eyebrows shot up.
“Your expression isn’t quite right?”
At Yoon Donghwan’s words, Taein immediately relaxed his expression and looked elsewhere once as if asking when he had made any expression, then lowered his eyes. The man who still resembled someone was still lying on his thigh.
“Let’s do well together… when I’m going this far for you….”
“…I know.”
“Work will probably start as early as tomorrow….”
“…Thank you.”
At the words of thanks, Yoon Donghwan raised both eyebrows high. Then, as if something was curious, he said “Ah” and slowly began to speak. It was an attitude unlike Yoon Donghwan.
“I can’t imagine it, so I’m asking….”
It seemed like even Yoon Donghwan, who spoke carelessly, was hesitating over some fucking awful thing to say. Taein had a vague premonition and quietly closed his mouth. Don’t get excited. Fix your temper while working. Crawl. He was looking at Yoon Donghwan while making firm resolutions, when he came out with a more ordinary question than expected.
“If the child was born when you were twenty… was it an accident?”
“……”
Still, it was awkward to answer, so when he just stared blankly, Yoon Donghwan added to his question.
“I can’t really imagine you dating. It doesn’t seem like you would have done that sort of thing with men.”
“……”
“Well, what do I know?”
Taein, who had nothing to say, only slowly smacked his lips. No one had ever asked him about this kind of thing, and the only similar questions he had heard were from the thugs in Dog Alley. Things like “Haven’t you been getting fucked since you were a kid” and “Let me fuck you too” and “Let’s do it together.” No one had ever asked about dating or that process in a normal way. He didn’t have anything to say about it anyway.
“…I was just drunk. I don’t remember.”
“I see… well, I thought it might be something like that.”
Yoon Donghwan, with an unimpressed face, drowsily closed his eyes slowly and opened them. Being this close, his body seemed to relax a lot. He also looked sleepy. Taein felt the same way, so while looking at Yoon Donghwan’s eyes, he was briefly lost in other thoughts. While lost in thought like that, strength left his hands, and his head dropped to the side with the drowsiness that was settling in.
The guest room wasn’t very dark.
Light was coming in between the half-covered windows.
The window on the sofa side was covered by curtains, but sunlight was streaming long into the space in the back.
Taein saw that Yoon Donghwan had completely closed his eyes and relaxed his body as well.
Whether it was an expensive sofa, even with Yoon Donghwan lying on his thigh, it was cozy and sleep came easily.
Taein, who had closed his eyes, tilted his head diagonally back. He fell asleep leaning his upper body against the soft sofa surface.
* * *
Yoon Donghwan had irregular work patterns, so he was absent from the hotel more often than not. How many minutes had he slept using his thigh as a pillow on the first day? Rather, he himself had slept longer. Even that day, when he woke up, Yoon Donghwan was gone, and there was only one text message on his phone.
[Fucking tired] [Yoon Donghwan]
Taein, who stared at the phone screen for a long time, even experienced the hallucination of letters spreading sideways.
Even when using burner phones, he had rarely exchanged texts with Yoon Donghwan, and even when they did, it was only simple business matters.
Why would he send a text about something he would normally just keep to himself?
After pondering for a long time, the text Taein composed and sent was this:
[I’m tired too]
But immediately after sending it, it felt too rude, so he wrote and sent one more text.
[Take good care of yourself normally]
A reply from Yoon Donghwan arrived quickly.
[Your texting is like the Siberian plains too] [Yoon Donghwan]
Just then, Eundo woke up, and the sound of him looking for him saying “Hyung? Hyung” could be heard. Taein left his phone on the table and headed to the bed. The traces of Eundo having slept on one side of the bed remained as they were. When he touched the child’s cheek, who said he thought it was a dream, warmth was transmitted. It’s not a dream or imagination, but reality. At the same time, he felt relieved. At least for the time being, it wasn’t inside a nightmare he needed to wake up from. This hotel room that felt like a strange dream was the current reality.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
