Chapter 12
Though finishing an entire chicken was challenging, I diligently chewed and swallowed the meat, thinking of Taeyoon’s sincerity. As the meal was nearly finished, Taeyoon even brought out colorful, pretty glutinous rice cakes.
“This is a special dessert for our actor Jung. Eat this and nail that audition.”
“When did you even prepare this?”
“I bought these. Even if they’re store-bought, you’re grateful, right?”
“Of course I’m grateful.”
“If you’re grateful, pass that audition by any means necessary. What are you doing with that handsome face and body?”
“Oppa, what kind of joke is that?”
Gayoon, who was just about to put a soybean powder-coated rice cake in her mouth, grimaced with disgust.
“I’m not saying to use them for lobbying or anything… I just can’t understand how you’re not at the top with that face and body. Korea’s sense of beauty is strange.”
I smiled awkwardly at Taeyoon’s complaint and put a yellow sweet pumpkin rice cake in my mouth. Despite the subtle sweetness spreading through my mouth, making saliva pool under my tongue, strangely my palate only tasted bitter.
■
Unlike the weather forecast predicting heavy showers at this time, the rain was merely sprinkling. Still, it wasn’t light enough to completely ignore. Looking inside the chest-high fence and gauging the distance to the entrance, I ultimately decided not to open my umbrella. The taxi that had dropped me off left the alley without hesitation behind me.
The place Director Hwang Sooyoung had designated for the audition was a detached house in Seoul. It was a building that had been renovated into an office by the outsourced production company for <Eternal Night>. Though they called it an outsourced production company, rumors circulated that it was practically Director Hwang’s dedicated team.
As I looked around the first-floor hall decorated like a lounge or café, someone approached calling my name in a welcoming tone. Saying he had been waiting for me, he immediately guided me to a room on the second floor.
A response came right after the knock. The man who entered first reported my arrival. Director Hwang, sitting with a large table in front of her, peered behind my shoulder and said:
“You came alone without your manager?”
“Yes.”
“Come in. What would you like to drink? We’ll look at your acting briefly and then do a short interview, so have something to drink.”
As I stepped into the room, I glimpsed the table where a wine bottle about two-thirds empty and a couple of glasses were scattered messily. It seemed several people had been drinking together until just moments ago.
Director Hwang occasionally lifted her glass to sip wine. Though it was a bit dim due to the drizzle, it was still around 2 PM—quite an early drinking session.
“If cold coffee is possible, I’ll have that.”
Though a glass of wine might have eased my tension a bit, I didn’t have the nerve to ask for wine in this setting.
Director Hwang looked at the man standing behind me with an expression that said ‘You heard that?’ Then she offered me the seat across from her.
“Sit down. This is, well, a room where I occasionally come and go to rest. Originally, the <Eternal Night> writer and production company representative were supposed to meet Jung Jiin-ssi with me today, but the timing didn’t work out, so I’m seeing you alone.”
“Yes.”
“Is it okay if we film the audition scene?”
“Yes, of course.”
I nodded while glancing at the camera set up on a small tripod on the table.
The only notable furniture in the room was the large table that seemed to seat about eight people. And peculiarly, there was a wine refrigerator standing on one side. It was a large-capacity product that could store about 80 bottles. Come to think of it, I seemed to have heard somewhere that Director Hwang Sooyoung was an avid wine enthusiast.
“But when people come to see me, they usually bring at least a bottle of wine. Jung Jiin-ssi came empty-handed.”
“Ah… I didn’t think of it. I’m sorry.”
Seeing her face break into a small laugh, it seemed to be a joke, but I couldn’t relax. Despite there being only two people in the room, it felt suffocating as if there wasn’t enough oxygen.
The coffee was prepared quickly. As soon as I put down the cup after taking a sip or two, Director Hwang gave the signal.
“Shall we look at the acting first?”
The script designated for the audition scene, attached along with a simple synopsis from the production company, was about 10 pages. It was a scene exchanging dialogue with the female lead, but the audition proceeded without assistance to deliver the other character’s lines. It was common practice.
The acting took less than 5 minutes. During practice, it had averaged about 3 minutes and 30 seconds, but now it felt like less than a minute had passed. I could only bite my lower lip in regret, feeling like the scene had ended without properly showing anything. Though I had prepared two or three free acting pieces, I might not get the chance to show them.
I couldn’t read anything from the director’s expression as she tilted her head and stared at me intently.
“Good work. Come sit over here.”
Despite feeling thirsty, it was difficult to reach for the coffee readily. My shoulders, stiff with tension, ached. Until Director Hwang, with one arm propped on the table and holding papers of unknown content, spoke, I just stared at the blank back of the papers in her hand.
“Did you do theater by any chance? There’s a bit of a theatrical tone seeping through.”
“Not enough to say I did it, it was just at a hobby level.”
“In Italy?”
“……Yes.”
At the point when the audition was scheduled, the director would have already received materials summarizing key information about me. The fact that I grew up in Italy wasn’t particularly secret. I just hadn’t gone around talking about it everywhere.
But I was a bit surprised by the question about theater. I hadn’t professionally studied theater, nor had I walked the path of a serious theater actor, so any theatrical influence in my acting was extremely minimal. Of course, Director Hwang was undoubtedly a top expert in this field, but I hadn’t expected her to find those minimal traces.
Comments floating around the internet ranged from saying I could only play sophisticated city men roles, that my voice was only soft without power, even that my acting was so stable it was boring—but there had never been talk of theatrical tones showing in my acting.
“As you’d know from the synopsis, it’s a very important role. That’s partly why it hasn’t been cast until now. We need an actor who meets our standards.”
After pouring wine into her glass, Director Hwang continued after taking a sip of the dark red drink.
“It’s a tragic character who creates tension between the leads and meets death at the end, so it’s practically a lead role. At first, you’ll earn some hatred for interfering between the female and male leads. But viewers need to gradually empathize with this character who was hated, and by the end, they must truly sympathize and feel compassion. The success of this work depends on that.”
After lightly swirling her glass a couple of times, the director poured quite a large amount of wine into her mouth at once.
I must be confident, I can definitely do it if you just give me the role… Such boldness was essential in auditions. The company had advised me to do so, and when I was unknown, I had acted that way too. But somehow, in front of Director Hwang, such lip service wouldn’t come out.
“Are you confident you won’t cause problems during the production? Looking at your record, you’ve been clean so far.”
At the director’s question, that man’s face suddenly came to mind. The night in Bangkok when we had entangled like beasts, and his face calmly asking ‘Prey, right?’ But he was someone I wouldn’t get tangled up with again. Shaking the man’s face from my mind, I met the director’s eyes directly.
“Yes, I’m confident about that at least. You don’t need to worry.”
“Hmm, everyone says that. Then they date, then they drunk drive, then they…”
Director Hwang, trailing off mid-sentence, put down the papers she had been holding. Her posture, loosely leaning against the backrest, gave the feeling that she had nothing more to see from me. My mouth became even drier.
Just as I couldn’t bear the thirst anymore and was about to reach for the glass with coffee, the director threw out another question.
“Theater seems to suit you better, so why did you come to TV?”
“……”
Jung Jiin-ssi, the truth is you’re not even interested in TV acting, are you? — That’s how it felt. My hand reaching for coffee stopped awkwardly in embarrassment at having my true feelings completely seen through. My face heated up.
She might have thrown out the words without much thought, but for the listener, my feet went numb. No, probably not a single word that came from her mouth since I entered this room was said without thought. Everything might be a test.
What would be the right answer to pass the audition? I racked my brain quickly, but no plausible answer to escape the momentary crisis came to mind.
Meeting her silent eyes, I opened my mouth with difficulty.
“…I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
“I think various reasons were complexly intertwined, but I didn’t make the decision consciously aware of those reasons.”
“Then can you tell me even one of those complex reasons?”
“If my face appeared on TV… I thought… someone might recognize me and find me.”
That was the best honesty I could show in front of her at this moment.
The director, who had been quietly gazing at me for a while, nodded with a long exhale, “Hmm…” I couldn’t tell if it was acknowledgment that she liked my answer.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
