Chapter 10
“Hng hng hng, hk. Hng.”
At the shallow, small, increasingly fast hip movements, I moaned as if sobbing. The squelching sounds of intercourse, like stepping and splashing through wet muddy ground, drove my hearing crazy. I kept clawing at his shoulders covering my body.
Just moving slightly back and forth in the inserted state made his cock press strongly against my prostate. It wasn’t just the prostate. It was too big, too full, like my insides would burst. His cock touched everywhere inside. It stretched my insides taut as if it would burst them. I didn’t think I could experience the sensation of having sex more vividly than this.
“I can’t, breathe…”
“It’s because you’re spread open below. You’re not suffocating.”
Breathe slowly. You just feel like you can’t breathe because you’re panicking.
While whispering like that, he continued stimulating my cock so my senses would be dispersed. When he rubbed the tip with his thumb, I could manage a bit better in those moments.
His face filled my vision, blurred with physiological tears. He was examining every corner of my face from right in front of my nose as if he would devour it.
“Want to come once? Should I make you ejaculate?”
I nodded a couple times toward him asking that. I thought insertion would be easier after ejaculating.
“Mmm… mm. Mm.”
His tongue pushed into my mouth. No longer being stubborn, I opened my mouth wide to accept it. Just receiving the caress of the flexible flesh rubbing against my tongue was overwhelming, and the tension in back loosened.
Along with the kiss, my breathing gradually found its rhythm. The inside that had been hot with dry frictional heat began to get slimy as lubricant was evenly applied with continued thrusting. Pleasure gradually built up in front where he was skillfully stimulating, and my lips were stretched wide open, unable to even swallow saliva, becoming greedy.
Everything I had wanted to shake off was being erased.
His hand that stroked down my arm from the shoulder interlaced fingers on the back of my hand. His chest pressed closely against my shoulder blade. The cock going in and out of my back gradually sped up, but the kiss was slow and deep. It was a kiss where all the overlapping and rubbing places seemed to mix into one.
While my mouth sweetly melted, below a panting beast went in and out of me. The faster the sound of his groin hitting my buttocks became, the steeper my excitement climbed.
“Mmm, mm. Mm!”
The feeling of ejaculation surged up. I tried to push away his tongue, but he traced my sensitive palate with his tongue, making me feel even more. I stretched my arms back to claw at his shoulders and ejaculated with my mouth blocked.
Even while I was coming, the speed of his hip movements didn’t slow down at all. As if he had been waiting for the tension to completely leave my body, he enjoyed insertion with added speed and depth. He no longer thrust shallow and pulled out. Each time he pulled out leaving only the tip and then pushed all the way in at once, it felt like fire ignited from inside my body.
My insides clung to him, writhing in a way I could clearly feel myself. As if it felt good, as if it felt good enough to die…
I almost cried out the safe word several times during the repeated multiple orgasms. Not because I felt unsafe. It was because the socialized part of me that felt guilt in the face of pleasure and feared becoming a beast kept holding me back.
But the desire to see it through to the end was also part of me. Each time the safe word rose to the tip of my tongue, I swallowed it back by biting his wrists and shoulders.
By the time I was tasting my fourth climax in the position sitting on his knees, I was no longer interested in making him angry or taking a position of refusal. I just wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he thrust up into me, frantically leaving marks all over his body wherever my hands and mouth could reach.
“Where have you been? Who’s been doing this to you until now? Were you satisfied?”
He too seemed half out of his mind as he muttered this while being bitten on the shoulder by me.
I didn’t know about other things, but I hadn’t been satisfied. I hadn’t even tried to pursue complete satisfaction. I had given up, thinking it was impossible for others to fulfill my desires that even I found difficult to understand precisely.
While he threw away the nth condom in the bathroom trash and returned, I lay sprawled naked facing the ceiling. I didn’t even have the energy left to pull the sheet to cover my privates.
I looked up at him blankly as he offered water and shook my head.
His back and shoulders as he sat on the edge of the mattress drinking water were all red and marked up.
“I’m sorry.”
The man who turned around had a face that didn’t understand what the apology was for. I gathered up my exhausted body and sat up while clearing my throat, my voice terribly hoarse.
“Your back is completely messed up.”
“Ah…”
“You never asked to be treated roughly either… but from the middle I completely forgot about that…”
When I got up, I saw that his wrist holding the water bottle was also messed up. Noticing my gaze, he looked down at his own wrist.
“As you can see, I’m sturdy. If I didn’t like it, I would have stopped you, so don’t worry about it.”
His voice saying that was also hoarsely cracked. But perhaps because he had such a smooth mid-low voice, it didn’t sound bad.
Over his shoulder, Bangkok’s dawn was slowly brightening in deep purple. The fact that we had spent almost a full five hours on sex felt embarrassing in hindsight.
His eyes suddenly turned toward the nightstand. There was an electronic desk clock there. And the lubricant and condoms I had prepared in advance were placed in front of it. I couldn’t tell exactly what he was looking at.
After sitting quietly for a while, he asked quietly while keeping his gaze in the same direction.
“You said you had to leave the hotel at 5, right?”
I nodded to him as he slowly turned around.
Strangely, it was hard to bear his silence. His eyes looking at me had become transparent again like an innocent beast, making me feel like I was doing something terrible by taking his virginity and kicking him out. My lips and hands twitched as if I should kiss him to comfort him.
It was an unnecessary thought. He was a man skilled at seducing one-night partners and at sex too. There was no need to feel guilt as if I was taking someone’s virginity.
You’re good at sex, honestly it’s a bit regrettable to end it at just once. I thought about saying something like that to change the mood… but instead I bit my lips.
He put his clothes back on over his sweat-soaked body. I was about to say he could shower before leaving but stopped that too. He was a hotel staff member. After leaving this room, he would be able to get a suite room key where he could wash away the traces of our lovemaking.
He showed no hesitation until he got dressed and was about to go out the door, but standing outside the open door, he turned to look at me once. His trembling dry lips showed his hesitation.
“Should I take you to the airport?”
For some reason, a hollow laugh escaped at that question. What could change by extending our time together during the trip to the airport?
“My colleagues… are there.”
His face was also smiling bitterly with regret for saying something he shouldn’t have said.
After he left, I didn’t have time to be immersed in confused emotions. It was time to hurry and pack my things and get ready. Fortunately, there wasn’t much to pack. Just simple belongings that could fit in one backpack.
I staggered through a shower, pulled on a baseball cap, and was about to put on my watch last when I discovered a message on the hotel memo pad where I had placed the watch. It was a short memo with just an email address, no name. It looked hastily scribbled but was beautiful handwriting.
I tore off the memo pad with the hotel logo printed on it, stuffed it in my pocket, and left the room.
Fourteen hours later, I encountered him again at Knox Hotel in Seoul.
■
The street where various types of entertainment establishments gathered—karaoke rooms, hostess bars, talk rooms, private rooms—was brilliantly flashing despite it being past midnight.
Neon signs gaudily decorated every building so densely that, to exaggerate a bit, you couldn’t see the building walls.
The taxi slowly made its way between drunk people. I wanted to get out at the snail’s pace slower than walking, but on streets like this, just being recognized by someone could cause troublesome situations.
From the point where the number of signs became sparse and the artificial light of neon signs was gradually swallowed by darkness, it was a residential area. Though called residential, it wasn’t a typical place—it was mostly an area of studio or two-room multi-family houses where entertainment establishment workers lived.
I spotted a familiar figure from behind being grabbed by a strange man in front of a raw fish restaurant. Confirming it was Gayoon, I hurriedly got out of the taxi.
The air was muggy. I pulled the brim of my baseball cap deeper and quickened my pace.
“Gayoon.”
“Oppa.”
As I approached, I saw Gayoon had a crude flyer in her hand. Dozens of similar flyers were scattered on the ground.
“Noona, the guys at our establishment are definitely the right size. Celebrity level! You absolutely won’t regret it! If you come find me, I’ll definitely take care of the table charge. Please just stop by once. Please!”
The man who glanced at me stuffed his business card into Gayoon’s handbag and hurriedly left. Fortunately, he didn’t seem to recognize me.
“What was that?”
“Oh, it’s nothing. He was soliciting customers for a host bar.”
Gayoon looked down at the flyer that was forced on her with troubled eyes and pushed it into her bag.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
