13
The sudden question made me completely lose my appetite.
As I froze while holding my spoon, Jin Woohyeon quickly apologized.
“Sorry. I’m really sorry.”
He told me to keep eating, that I should eat it before it gets cold, and even tapped my hand with his index finger.
“Why did you suddenly ask that?”
“It wasn’t sudden. I wanted to ask as soon as I saw hyung’s face.”
“Anyone would think you’re someone waiting for me to sort things out.”
“Mm, that’s also true.”
He grinned.
“Why are you looking at me like that? You said earlier that I’m your type. I met someone who gives me a pretty good feeling, but I even saw that person crying buckets because they can’t forget their ex-lover, so naturally I’d be curious, wouldn’t I?”
With mechanical hand movements, I scooped a few spoonfuls into my mouth, but eventually I couldn’t help but sigh.
“I’m working on it, sorting things out. But they keep hovering in front of my eyes, so it’s not easy.”
Jin Woohyeon didn’t understand my words right away.
“Why are they hovering in front of your eyes? You’re not living together or anything. There’s that saying, you know. When bodies grow distant, hearts grow distant too.”
It was a reasonable point. So if I flip what he said, that’s exactly my situation. Since bodies haven’t grown distant, hearts don’t have a chance to grow distant either.
“They’re right in front of my eyes.”
I replied, sighing again.
“Due to circumstances, we’re living together. For about a month?”
“…Living together? What circumstances could possibly make things turn out like that?”
His bewilderment was natural. Objectively, it was quite a strange situation.
However, I couldn’t speak honestly. Everything related to ‘Can Love Be Transferred Too?’ was confidential. It’s one thing to confide in someone you know a bit – you can just agree to keep quiet about it – but it wasn’t an appropriate topic to share with someone I’d only met twice.
“Is your ex-lover American?”
Jin Woohyeon asked.
“Or what? Are you like a Korean-American or something, hyung? A black-haired American?”
“…What?”
“No. Isn’t this too American style…”
“What kind of prejudice do you have against America?”
I tapped Jin Woohyeon’s hand like he had done and told him to hurry up and eat his porridge. He looked at his plate with a troubled expression, then emptied the contents in an instant. It was surprisingly fast, yet there was barely any slurping sound, not even the clinking of utensils.
After finishing his portion, Jin Woohyeon ladled a bit more into my bowl.
“It must be hard. Hyung has a soft heart, so you probably can’t forget easily anyway, but if you’re even living together…”
I said firmly.
“Still, I’m going to sort it out.”
“Oh. Why? Don’t you want to hold on, or try to work things out again?”
“At first I did…”
It was the first time I was having this kind of conversation with someone other than Gamseonghan, so it felt somewhat awkward.
But, so what? I’m not saying anything I shouldn’t. Even if I get judged a bit, what does it matter? The king’s ears are donkey’s ears, after all. I was sick and tired of keeping everything bottled up inside and suffering.
“He has someone else now. It seems like they’re still meeting with good feelings… Probably things were going well with that person even before he broke up with me.”
“You got dumped through a transfer breakup?”
Jin Woohyeon opened his mouth as if he’d heard a ghost story.
“They transferred away from this face? That’s some interesting taste…”
It was indeed somewhat embarrassing for someone with such a cleanly handsome face – though slightly intimidating – to say such things without hesitation. Even if someone who would never get transferred away from, no, who would never get dumped by anyone in the first place, said that…
“I guess I wasn’t very attractive.”
I said, shrugging my shoulders.
“I probably wasn’t someone who could firmly capture their heart either. Maybe that’s why, even if this incident hadn’t happened, they kept looking elsewhere from time to time. But they always came back to me in the end, so I thought complacently…”
“…”
“Then one day, he chose not to come back to me. That’s how we ended.”
“What are you saying?”
A low, cold voice cut off my words.
“So right now… your ex-lover was flitting around here and there even while dating you, hyung. Not only that, but you two broke up because he blatantly transferred to someone else?”
“…Yes, well.”
“And that happened because you couldn’t hold onto that bastard’s heart, so at first you wanted to try to win him back, but seeing that he’s still doing well with that other person, you decided to give up?”
“Yes…”
As he continued speaking, his voice grew lower to the point of sounding ominous.
“This is, shibal. What kind of crazy talk is this.”
“…”
“That son of a bitch said that? That it’s hyung’s fault?”
“No, no.”
“He does shit like that and still shows up in front of hyung? Does that make sense? He doesn’t seem like your average crazy bastard.”
The rough profanity coming from that respectable face somehow sounded like a foreign language. Or perhaps like lines assigned to characters in a noir film.
“Chan didn’t, no, he didn’t say that!”
I frantically waved my hands.
“Um. There were some things I couldn’t accommodate for him. So…”
“Who’s understanding whom here?”
He growled back.
“Couldn’t accommodate? Fine, let’s say there were things. Hyung isn’t some master key prepared for that bastard, and as someone who’s lived a completely different life, of course there would be incompatible aspects. So let’s say his feelings cooled or he judged that the relationship couldn’t be maintained anymore.”
“…”
“Then, shibal. He should have just broken up. Don’t make someone into an idiot.”
That’s basic courtesy, he added, his voice dripping with anger.
“No matter how unattractive hyung might have been, that’s not something you should do. If you love less, then love less, but why look elsewhere? If it were me, I’d never do such shit. No, I couldn’t. How can someone act so fucking awful?”
I found myself staring blankly at Jin Woohyeon, fascinated by that quietly boiling anger, even forgetting to respond.
He wasn’t just taking my side a little bit to be polite – he was genuinely angry. His seething pheromones were clear proof of that fact.
After a brief silence, he looked startled and apologized to me.
“Sorry. I wasn’t trying to scold you, hyung. Were you surprised that I suddenly got angry?”
“No, that’s not it…”
I smiled at him, saying it was okay.
“I know I was being foolish too. That’s why I’m trying to stop. For my own sake, and also because I should stop making the other person into a bad person.”
But even knowing all that.
“It’s still difficult. Maybe because the weight of time is too heavy.”
I said, looking into his black eyes.
“Ten years.”
“…”
“The period we dated.”
“Hyung.”
“We’ve known each other for almost twenty years…”
I smiled sheepishly.
“So I want to believe that being hurt and upset is unavoidable. I liked him for so long, so wouldn’t it be stranger to forget immediately and be okay?”
Jin Woohyeon looked at me for a long time. He kept opening his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but no sound came from him.
Soon he ran a hand down his face and muttered as if sighing.
“You’re right. You’re absolutely right about that.”
“…”
“The situation is difficult, the other person is a bastard, but Yoo Sanho-ssi is kind.”
It was strange. Why did those few words seep into me with such warm resonance? Even words that didn’t seem like comfort made me feel comforted – was it simply because I was thirsting for someone’s warmth?
I ate my porridge bravely in the silence. My stomach still felt queasy and I had no appetite, but I didn’t want to neglect myself with such excuses.
Like fixing old, bad habits, after eating and even diligently taking the pills and syrup medicine, Jin Woohyeon reached out and brushed the corner of my mouth with his thumb.
“You had some medicine on you.”
My cheeks flushed hot at that handsome face smiling as if praising me.
“You could have just told me.”
“Why would I do that? I’m using this as an excuse to satisfy my ulterior motives.”
“…”
“Let’s go. I’ll take you back.”
What kind of relationship did we have for him to offer to take me back? It felt awkward since there was no reason for it.
But I couldn’t refuse. No, I just didn’t want to.
Going back together is fine, isn’t it? I wanted to rationalize it that way. It’s not like I was asking to date Jin Woohyeon, so it wasn’t violating program rules. I wasn’t dating Lee Chan anymore either, so it wasn’t deceiving or betraying anyone.
Jin Woohyeon, who keenly noticed my wavering heart, opened the door for me and smiled. When he smiled with his eyes curving enough to make his aegyo-sal prominent, his cold impression melted away charmingly, carelessly enchanting people.
“You’re not uncomfortable with me taking you back, right? Hyung.”
Who could shake their head at that question? I eventually nodded and followed him out.
It was force majeure.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
