Seiyad lowered his gaze, capturing Ressas’s hand in his peripheral vision just as it had been about to touch him. What bothered him was that Ressas, after cautiously reaching out, had instinctively withdrawn. Still, after the conversation in the forest, Seiyad had found Ressas’s presence unsettling, and since he himself wasn’t seeking unnecessary contact, there was no issue to raise.
Forcing himself to lift his eyes, Seiyad mulled over Ressas’s response. The plea had sounded sincere enough, but that didn’t mean his doubts had vanished.
“Then why, all of a sudden, are you so proficient?”
It was a broad question, but upon hearing it, Ressas blinked in surprise, long lashes fluttering. His pale cheeks flushed red, and he raised his hand to cover his mouth. His slender fingers brushed over his lips and nose, a shy gesture so palpable that even Seiyad could feel the emotion radiating off him.
“Did I really come off as proficient? I never imagined Your Grace would think that way. After all, you did say I was worse than my brother at the time.”
That remark caught Seiyad off guard—it had completely slipped his mind. It had been over a month ago, during a period when Ressas’s unfamiliar behavior had heightened his sense of caution. He hadn’t meant it as an insult at the time, only as an observation.
“I only said that because Your Highness’s demeanor was unfamiliar to me then. Even back then… I didn’t really… find it unpleasant.”
Worried that the comment might have wounded Ressas enough for him to remember it so clearly, Seiyad replied slowly, suppressing his discomfort. Ressas continued listening silently, hand still half-covering his face. Yet, his violet eyes shimmered with uncontainable joy. Those openly adoring eyes made Seiyad avert his gaze.
“…So, you didn’t dislike kissing me. I never imagined Eid would actually enjoy it.”
The soft murmur made his stomach twist. Seiyad was quick to retort, shame rising within him.
“I never said that. I only remarked that Your Highness had suddenly grown more adept.”
But Ressas seemed unfazed by Seiyad’s stern tone. As if forgetting the care he’d taken not to touch him, Ressas reached out and gently placed his fingers on the back of Seiyad’s hand, which was resting on the floor. His fingertips trembled faintly.
“While we were apart, I kissed you endlessly in my dreams. Whether awake or not, you were always in my thoughts. It couldn’t be helped. So, if I’ve changed… it’s entirely your fault, Duke. You’re far too sweet.”
The lips that whispered such shameless words were tinged red. Images of their countless kisses over the past few days suddenly surfaced. He knew those lips tasted just as sweet as the words they spoke, and Seiyad had to admit he’d been acting rather impulsively. Suppressing the urge that surged within him, he decided to finally bring up the topic he had been considering earlier.
“I understand the necessity of Your Highness saying kind things to me in public—it serves a purpose. However… I would appreciate it if you refrained from saying things like that in the future.”
There would be nothing between them, after all. And hearing Ressas’s emotions repeatedly served no purpose. He himself had made mistakes. Ever since realizing how Ressas felt, he should have refrained from any unnecessary purification. Instead, he had succumbed to impulses he couldn’t explain.
There must always be a boundary between a Guide and a Tither. His mother had repeated that to him countless times. He had always obeyed—until recently, when he had begun acting out of character.
Ressas blinked. His wide, clear eyes looked up like a child who had just been rejected, caught completely off guard. For a few seconds, he said nothing. Then his lips parted slightly and quivered. Finally, his thick brows curved softly, and the corners of his mouth lifted into a faint smile.
“Am I making things harder for you, Duke?”
“I say this only because it’s unnecessary for us. Words like that aren’t appropriate between people who are not lovers. And if someone else were to hear them, there’s a real chance they’d be misunderstood. It could place a burden on the other Tithers as well. Besides, considering the possibility that Your Highness might one day be betrothed, it’s best to prevent any complications ahead of time.”
When Ressas had first confessed his feelings, Seiyad thought he had wanted him in a different, more physical way. But now that he knew it wasn’t lust but a sincere heart behind it, he realized things needed to be resolved before they got any messier.
“Duke…”
Ressas, who had been listening quietly, asked in a subdued voice,
“Do you still hate me that much?”
The unexpected question made Seiyad freeze. Ressas continued, his tone calm and introspective.
“After returning, I kept thinking about what you said in the forest. That if you hadn’t approached me first, I would’ve continued to hate you for a long time. I know there were times when I didn’t want to lean on Eid… when I thought that my presence only made things harder for you. But no matter how things appeared… I believe I always loved you.”
It would have been easier to ignore if Ressas had yelled or cried like before. But now, with that quiet composure, turning away from him felt all the more difficult. A sudden desire to believe those words welled up inside him—only to be snuffed out again by the same old resistance.
He couldn’t fully trust Ressas’s heart.
He knew Ressas wasn’t a threat. He even knew the man was on his side. But his emotions? Seiyad simply couldn’t believe in them. No matter how genuine they seemed now, he couldn’t shake the suspicion that if circumstances mirrored the past, Ressas would abandon him again.
He couldn’t trust the depth of his feelings. And even if he could… unless he understood why Ressas had once gone so far as to kill him, he would always see him through the lens of the past. That wasn’t a healthy relationship.
“It’s not that I hate Your Highness. Our interests align. And I remember all too well how I treated you with not just discourtesy, but contempt. If anything, I am the one who is guilty. But I…”
In a life where even Aster, someone he had trusted with his very soul, had dragged him into ruin, Seiyad had lost the ability to trust anyone.
Still, even knowing there was no such thing as perfect faith in the world, he found himself yearning for a heart that was—flawless, untainted, unwavering.
If something like that truly existed, then perhaps… perhaps, in that moment, he could finally confront his own heart.
But Ressas wasn’t that person. There were simply too many unknowns surrounding him. Seiyad didn’t want to feel the same desolation as the day he died ever again. He didn’t want to be blinded by Ressas’s emotions and miss the truth staring him in the face.
Until he knew exactly what Ressas was hiding, Seiyad didn’t want to be helplessly swayed by him any further.
“I only want to make the nature of our relationship clear. I don’t want to see you act recklessly on my behalf, like you did just yesterday. I am not Your Highness’s lover. I’m not denying your feelings, but if nothing lies at the end of this path, I think it’s best we maintain appropriate boundaries.”
The air that had grown tense and warm between them slowly began to cool. Ressas stared at Seiyad with unreadable eyes, then added a faint smile to his already distant expression. After a moment, he nodded.
“…Alright.”
The quiet agreement was followed by a murmured monologue.
“Now that I think about it, I was being selfish. You’re such a kind person, Duke. You throw yourself into danger without hesitation for the sake of others… I forgot that I can’t allow myself to become someone of significance to you. I forgot that doing so only puts you at risk. Foolishly, I keep making the same mistakes.”
Ressas muttered like someone who had just realized something important.
“Because the Duke is so lovely… I got greedy. When you say things like you did earlier—sweet things—I misinterpret them on my own. You probably only brought it up because it made you uncomfortable, and yet I misunderstood. I’m sorry.”
“There’s no need for Your Highness to apologize. Please don’t.”
The over-agreeable response left a bitter taste. It should have been satisfying to get exactly what he wanted, and yet he felt strangely uneasy. As if he could sense Seiyad’s discomfort, Ressas smiled as if nothing were wrong.
“From now on, I’ll make sure not to make you uncomfortable. Unless you want purification, I won’t desire you needlessly.”
The gentle, placating tone left Seiyad at a loss for words. Just as he began to wonder if it was really over, Ressas neatly wrapped up the moment.
“So now, rest, Duke. I’ll stay by your side and keep watch so that you may dream of something beautiful.”
Leaning back against the wall again, Ressas smiled softly, gesturing for Seiyad to rest. The idea of this younger man claiming he would protect him made Seiyad frown, but he ultimately sighed and leaned back. Silence settled over them like snowfall. He closed his eyes, not wanting to confront the weight gathering on his shoulders.
He must have been born that gentle.
After saying he wouldn’t speak misleading words, he still whispered such a tender good night—somehow, that rubbed him the wrong way. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how sweet Ressas might be to the one who’d one day become his lover.
Did Zion from his past life ever experience it…?
That thought passed through him just before he drifted off to sleep. As sleep took him, a warmth lingered near his side. Then a faint whisper brushed his ear.
…Please. My moon.
Maybe… maybe he’d heard something like that.
***
The cries of birds echoed loudly through the gaps in the wooden boards of the barn. Sunlight pierced through, stabbing at Seiyad’s eyelids. The prickling warmth stirred him from slumber, and the moment his senses returned, he opened his eyes and scanned his surroundings. Realizing the place was unfamiliar, his hand instinctively went to his waist. Just before he could draw his sword, a familiar voice stopped him.
“It’s alright, Duke. It’s just us here.”
Turning his head, Seiyad saw Tiaki stepping into the barn. He looked much better than he had the previous night, with a healthy complexion, and held a few chunks of hard bread and some apples in his arms.
“…Seems like you’re doing well.”
“Thanks to you. You saved my life. The wounds are still there, but it’s a lot more bearable now. I guess the prince over there is the one who patched me up?”
Following Tiaki’s nod, Seiyad glanced down to find Ressas asleep, his cheek resting against Seiyad’s shoulder. The weight of that head only just registered, making him flinch slightly. Ressas’s soft black hair gleamed under the sunlight. His long lashes and straight nose gave him the look of a doll. Sleeping so quietly, he seemed truly exhausted.
“Seeing him like this, he really does look like a young boy. But when he’s awake, he acts more like an adult than I do.”
“…Stop admiring his face and start with your report.”
Tiaki’s lingering gaze on Ressas bothered Seiyad. Royals weren’t people you could just gawk at—let alone touch. But more importantly, it was critical they assess the situation that had nearly killed Tiaki.
“Is it alright for His Highness to hear this?”
“We’re all in the same boat now, so it doesn’t matter.”
And Ressas seemed to be in a deep sleep anyway. Tiaki nodded and scanned the barn once more before approaching Seiyad. As he broke the bread in half and offered some, Seiyad shook his head. Tiaki then held out an apple, and after a moment of hesitation, Seiyad accepted it.
“The young man who owns this place is decent—honest. I told him if he said a word about us, I’d kill him. He ended up giving us these as a gift.”
“Threatening a farmer. You’re shameless.”
“Can’t be too careful, you know.”
Tiaki let out a snicker but quickly turned serious. His expression grew tense as he continued.
“Like I said yesterday, someone else was originally assigned to keep an eye on the Crown Prince. But after a few days with no contact, I thought something was off, so I took over. Up until I came here, I didn’t notice anything particularly strange about the prince. He went to bed when he was supposed to, trained with the knights during the day, and took care of royal duties. Then…”
Tiaki scratched his arm and lowered his voice.
“Just before I got here, I saw something odd in the middle of the night. It looked like he’d gone to bed as usual, but then he suddenly got up and started talking to empty air. I couldn’t hear clearly from afar, so I got closer. And then I heard him say this.”
He hesitated. Seiyad furrowed his brow, urging him to speak. Tiaki let out a quiet hum, scratching his cheek before finally continuing.
“He said—‘What I want is the living Eid, not a dead soul.’ I thought it was nonsense. But just as I tried to get closer, I made eye contact with something in the shadows on the wall. A black shape, shifting like smoke. It looked just like… a massive black snake.”
