#148
After that day, Lee Han-sol became quiet, as if his spirit had been broken. He didn’t openly rebel against Choi Tae-hyun’s various requests anymore. Whether he had accepted Choi Tae-hyun’s sentiments or not was unclear, but the fact remained that he had become surprisingly docile.
Taking advantage of this, Choi Tae-hyun diligently fed him, put him to sleep, and took him out. Whenever the thought occurred to him, he would say, “Han-sol, you’ll be happy soon.” Han-sol would get annoyed and tell him to stop, but he no longer cursed at him with threats to kill him or accusations of perverted schemes. After a few peaceful days, Han-sol’s exhausted face quickly improved.
‘Finally got him back to normal.’
Choi Tae-hyun nodded with satisfaction as he observed Han-sol’s pinkish complexion. He himself hadn’t expected to become this concerned about Han-sol, but when he came to his senses, things had already turned out this way, and he considered it inevitable. Choi Tae-hyun wasn’t the type to waste effort trying to undo what had already been done; he was someone who only thought about resolving situations in the best possible way.
In truth, Choi Tae-hyun hadn’t been this overbearing before that day. That is, the day Choi Tae-hyun had forcibly opened the door to Han-sol’s home.
When Choi Tae-hyun urgently entered Han-sol’s home that day, what he saw was a dark living room with items scattered messily about. In the midst of it all, Han-sol was curled up under a blanket. The stillness, without even the slightest movement, frightened Choi Tae-hyun, who rushed over. When he pulled back the blanket, Han-sol appeared bloodless and pale, looking either like a dead person or a well-crafted doll. Fortunately, Han-sol wasn’t actually dead, but that intense scene had given Choi Tae-hyun a strange sense of duty.
Han-sol had been desperate, shouting not to try to deceive him, asking if he couldn’t just be left alone. Choi Tae-hyun genuinely wanted to know who had turned him into such a defensive coward, who had made him incapable of believing even a single word of concern. He thought that if he could, he would like to solve Han-sol’s problems himself. Even to him, it seemed excessive to take such an attitude toward a grown man, but it couldn’t be helped. A pitiful yet adorable being who deserved love but was lonely. Choi Tae-hyun simply couldn’t ignore such a creature, and Han-sol had precisely targeted this weakness of his.
Ever since thinking that Han-sol resembled Ppomi, Choi Tae-hyun had always wanted to make him happy. So he took care of him with dedication. Choi Tae-hyun had a talent for such things, and Han-sol was clearly improving bit by bit. He still didn’t open up or act affectionately, but that didn’t matter. Choi Tae-hyun was just doing what he wanted to do.
But that day, seeing the face he had carefully cultivated to be peach-like turn pale again in just a few days, Choi Tae-hyun felt something beyond mere disappointment. A melancholic, sad feeling. And the hurt that Han-sol hadn’t sought him out before things got this bad.
These complex emotions surprised Choi Tae-hyun. Feeling hurt? There had always been people around Choi Tae-hyun, so he never got attached to relationships. His kindness to many was a result of his abundance. Just because he was gentle to someone didn’t mean he had some kind of ulterior motive. He simply acted that way because he could. Thus, Choi Tae-hyun had never felt wronged or disappointed by anyone. Yet now he felt hurt. It was then that he realized: I like Han-sol.
The reason he cared so much, why he would force open someone else’s door just because they hadn’t been in contact for a few days, why he felt regretful for not being able to help him.
It was because he liked him.
Whether it was a rational feeling, a desire to possess someone unique and interesting, or the kind of longing people commonly have for friends they like, he couldn’t tell. He didn’t particularly want to define it. What mattered was that Choi Tae-hyun liked Han-sol, and Han-sol seemed to need comfort.
In that case, he just needed to be there for him. A little more diligently.
That’s what Choi Tae-hyun did.
Time passed day by day. On the surface, Han-sol didn’t seem to have changed much. Moderately docile, moderately quiet, moderately melancholic. Despite Choi Tae-hyun’s efforts, he would occasionally get lost in thought and seemed to struggle to get out of it, showing signs of stagnation. But Choi Tae-hyun, who had been closely observing Han-sol without missing anything, knew for certain. Han-sol was changing little by little. Choi Tae-hyun became convinced of this subtle sense of growing intimacy with Han-sol one evening.
“I’m going to take Ppomi for a walk, would you like to come along?”
It was already eight o’clock after finishing dinner and tidying up. Choi Tae-hyun asked while putting a dog harness on the tail-wagging Ppomi. Han-sol, who was crouched on the sofa, obediently nodded and got up. Choi Tae-hyun quickly brought over a coat and handed it to Han-sol.
“…I’m not cold. Okay.”
“Not feeling cold doesn’t mean you won’t catch a cold.”
Han-sol frowned as if annoyed but put on the clothes without further argument. Choi Tae-hyun smiled and opened the door. A dog and two people began walking side by side.
The sun had already set, and the streets were dark. But due to the early hour, the dark streets were still full of life. People getting off work, people returning from dinner, people laughing and chatting with friends. There are a lot of people out today, Choi Tae-hyun thought to himself, glancing at Han-sol’s expression. Since Han-sol claimed to hate people at least a dozen times a day, Choi Tae-hyun was concerned he might be regretting coming along.
“What are you looking at. Okay.”
Fortunately, Han-sol seemed to be tolerating it reasonably well, snapping back with a not-too-unpleasant expression.
“Nothing, just struck by how cute you are.”
“I told you not to say that fucking shit. Okay.”
“But why can’t I say you’re cute? I say it because you’re cute—are you really allowed to violate my freedom of expression like this?”
At Choi Tae-hyun’s words, Han-sol’s face contorted sharply. He grumbled with protruding lips.
“Sure, people tend to call ugly guys ‘cute’ as a cover-up.”
“What? Ugly? Who? You, Han-sol?”
“You don’t have to pretend not to know. Okay.”
“You’re not seriously saying that, are you?”
When Han-sol sealed his lips, Choi Tae-hyun became confused. He almost suspected Han-sol was deliberately acting this way because he wanted to hear something like, “Actually, a big reason I’ve come to like you this much is probably because you’re pretty.”
With the conversation gone silent, the two quietly followed Ppomi, who moved confidently along their preferred route. They arrived at a nearby park. Though small in size, it had a dog exercise area that Ppomi loved. After letting Ppomi into the exercise area, Choi Tae-hyun habitually sat down on a bench in front of the fence. Han-sol, who had been standing blankly, also sat down beside him. “Hmm.” Choi Tae-hyun made a casual sound and glanced at Han-sol. Then, leaning slightly, he began to talk about various things.
“See that poodle following Ppomi’s rear? The brown poodle.”
“Yeah.”
“Its name is Hotteok. It’s a regular here at this time, and until recently, it was Ppomi’s best friend.”
At those words, Han-sol, who had been watching the dogs running around enthusiastically, looked at Choi Tae-hyun. His eyes seemed to ask, “Was? It’s not anymore?”
“See that dog wrestling with Ppomi? The black one. Its name is Tanbbang. It belongs to someone who recently moved into Han-sol’s building, and it seems to get along really well with Ppomi. These days, Ppomi only hangs out with Tanbbang like that. So Hotteok is going crazy.”
Choi Tae-hyun pointed at Hotteok, who was pacing around Ppomi and barking loudly, and giggled. Han-sol just blinked quietly with an unreadable expression. Choi Tae-hyun’s gentle eyes, still holding traces of laughter, met his gaze. “Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked.
Han-sol seemed to hesitate, moving his lips several times, then lowered his head as if nervous and swallowed dryly. When he raised his head again, he looked like he was suppressing something.
“…Then what about Hotteok?”
“Huh?”
“Why is Ppomi acting like that? What happens to Hotteok then?”
“…Do you feel sorry for Hotteok? Because it lost its friend?”
“Don’t you feel sorry for it? Hotteok is left alone now. Where’s Hotteok’s owner?”
“Why do you want to know about Hotteok’s owner?”
“They should take it home. Why bring it here to let it follow around those traitors, no, not traitors—traitor dogs, yes, traitor dogs. Ppomi and Tanbbang? Look at Hotteok, that idiot isn’t even playing, just barking constantly. But Ppomi is so distracted by the other dog that it doesn’t even look at Hotteok. Doesn’t the owner feel sorry for their dog? Hotteok must have some pride too, so why leave it like that? Tell them to take it home now!”
Han-sol jumped up, seemingly overcome with emotion. After pacing around for a moment as if unable to settle down, he sat back down as if he had calmed down, only to stand up abruptly again moments later while biting his lip. Even someone who didn’t know Han-sol could tell he was in an extremely unstable state. Choi Tae-hyun tried to comfort him by gently taking his hand and pulling him closer. He spoke in a calm and affectionate tone.
“It’s okay. There are many other dogs. Hotteok will soon find another friend. Don’t worry too much.”
“How can another dog be the same…! You said they were best friends!”
How can another dog replace Ppomi when it’s unique? And what guarantee is there that other puppies will like Hotteok? What if no one plays with Hotteok? Tell Ppomi to come to its senses. I didn’t know Ppomi was such a crazy one. How can it betray one of its own kind? When Hotteok is following like that, why doesn’t it look back even once? Is it planning to come back when Hotteok finally manages to forget everything?
When I’m finally okay, when I’m alone and don’t trust any other dog anymore, when I’ve made up my mind to get revenge on those who made me this way. And then it comes back asking to play together? Is that how it plans to make all of Hotteok’s efforts meaningless?
If Hotteok, feeling wronged, refuses to play with it, will it pretend to be sick then? Does it think it’s enough to stop eating, get skinny, and camp out at the animal hospital? Does it think it can spread rumors around the neighborhood so Hotteok can’t even pretend not to know? What did Hotteok do wrong to deserve such treatment? Who does Tanbbang think it is, suddenly appearing and interrupting Hotteok? Why to Hotteok…!
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
