At times like this, he needed to eat something delicious and drink good alcohol to change his mood. He took a stroll around the neighborhood to get some fresh air.
On the way back, he purchased a bottle of whiskey. He couldn’t leave out ingredients for Vongole pasta and mouth-watering crimson beef.
Humming a tune, Jae-young opened the front door and immediately started cooking. The fact that he spent about an hour cooking wasn’t important. Taste was most important. Jae-young tasted the pasta before drinking and smiled satisfactorily. It was delicious. Following that, he took a sip of whiskey, and though strong, a clean aroma filled his mouth.
Just the fact that he was eating good food and drinking good alcohol made him feel like the accumulated stress was instantly relieved. With his chin resting on his hand, Jae-young enjoyed the leisure and put a nicely cut piece of meat in his mouth.
The tender texture swelled Jae-young’s mood immensely. Belatedly, he found his phone and turned on some calm classical music. It was a perfect setting. Except for the somewhat shabby state of the house.
Jae-young looked around his small home, which was too small to examine thoroughly, as he drank. It was a meal he always had, but something felt empty.
“Maybe it’s because the lighting is poor.”
He looked up at the dining light. It was a simple lamp. It obviously looked cheap. A common twenty thousand won lamp found easily on the internet. The lighting was also unnecessarily bright.
At the harsh brightness that hurt his eyes, Sa Gong-hyun suddenly came to mind. There hadn’t been a single contact from him.
Had Han Ju-seong already contacted him…? He drank while staring at his phone, which, like a dead object, received no messages.
That’s what he had been thinking. He knew he should go see him, but strangely, he didn’t want to. He felt like seeing Sa Gong-hyun’s face would somehow make him feel disgusted.
Jae-young was hesitating about quite a few things. Meeting Sa Gong-hyun, investigating Ju-seong’s background, thinking about that USB.
Seung-kwon had said he would find out Ju-seong’s plan, but he was too busy. Since Jae-young was the one who had leaked information, it was right for him to clean it up. It would be easier for Jae-young to find out than Seung-kwon. The cleaner method was to leak Ju-seong’s story as per his request and ask Sa Gong-hyun what he demanded.
So he needed to meet Sa Gong-hyun… The problem was that he was struggling to organize his thoughts.
It would be over if he just pulled himself together. Sa Gong-hyun wasn’t Jae-young’s first priority anyway. It wasn’t like he was rising in ranks enough to disrupt the work. No, Sa Gong-hyun wasn’t even in consideration, to the extent that he couldn’t compete for a ranking.
If asked whether Jae-young was a sentimental person, that wasn’t the case either. If asked whether he was someone who would often be entangled in compassion, that was even less so.
To be honest, Jae-young lived as if he had no moral consciousness. He was cunning enough to try to identify weaknesses first when meeting new people.
Of course, being human, Jae-young had felt compassion many times. But that was it. Being weakened by unnecessary compassion was not something that suited Jae-young.
Yet, something continued to bother him. The USB kept coming to mind as if stuck in his throat. There was no reason for it. He never dreamed he would experience such confusion about his feelings. A self-pitying mutter escaped.
“What’s the problem?”
Suddenly, Jae-young, letting out an irritated groan, downed all the remaining alcohol in his glass. His face crumpled, unable to withstand the strong alcohol.
He filled his glass without stopping. He soothed his stomach with meat, and this time, without taking his lips off the glass, he drank all the alcohol.
This was all because of Han Ju-seong. It was a commotion that occurred because that bastard without tact butted in. Since Ju-seong appeared, meeting Sa Gong-hyun had become distasteful. He had created first-class pure water, but in an instant, it had turned into muddy water.
That’s the problem. Yes. Jae-young, who had spoken to himself and provided his own response, started eating pasta. With his appetite lost, it no longer tasted good.
Am I feeling autumn blues lately? Why do I feel so empty?
He put down his fork and drank continuously. Drinking Western liquor like soju quickly made him tipsy. The jumbled thoughts that had densely filled his mind scattered at once.
That’s what was good about high-proof alcohol. He could get drunk quickly without having to drink a lot. Emptiness was washed away by the strong alcohol, and only silly, mindless laughter came out.
This is why alcohol was good. Because he could fully taste feelings that couldn’t be felt when sober.
Jae-young, who had been sprawled on the bed, half raised his body. With heavily drooping eyes, he checked the time. It was 10 PM.
“Time passes so damn slowly.”
He lay back down, fixing his eyes on the spinning ceiling. He turned to his side and checked his work phone. Still no contact.
Is he not waiting? Despite not having made any contact for two days, Sa Gong-hyun remained quiet. It was called two days, but in terms of time, it was just a little over a day. So does this mean he can wait about a day?
Jae-young, blinking his eyes, called Sa Gong-hyun. Soon, a tedious connection tone followed. Click. The connection tone was cut off, and silence filled the receiver.
“Hyun-ssi, are you sleeping?”
Of course, Jae-young unhesitatingly broke that silence. Sa Gong-hyun’s voice was heard immediately.
—I’m not.
“Are you at home?”
—I’m outside. Have you been drinking?
“Does it show?”
—Did you think I wouldn’t know? It seems like you’ve had more than just a couple of drinks.
Hmm, his nasal sound scattered here and there. Being drunk, he couldn’t control the laughter that leaked out frivolously.
“Why are you still outside? Are you busy?”
—I’m out because of work, and yes, I’m busy.
“…Then I should hang up.”
—Are you disappointed?
Jae-young lowered his eyelids. He wasn’t particularly disappointed. Rather than disappointed, just…
“…I don’t want to be alone.”
Sometimes he hated this. Because he would say things he didn’t need to say. Most words that come out just before sobering up are weaknesses. Especially when it’s a night where one is alone and prone to falling into sentimentality.
Although it might not seem so, Jae-young has excessive defense mechanisms. If there’s something he doesn’t want exposed, he absolutely won’t show it. There was nothing he disliked more than speaking about his own flaws with his own mouth.
Jae-young was someone who deceived even himself because he hated being weak. Most of Jae-young’s defense mechanisms were suppression. He disliked being alone, but suppressing this, he ends up being alone anyway. Even Seung-kwon probably didn’t know this. Nevertheless, the reason Jae-young says such things to Sa Gong-hyun was simple.
It’s like fair play. Since Sa Gong-hyun readily revealed his weakness, he can also open up to this extent.
In a way, it was also pity. Feeling sorry for his life that was about to collapse, he could show this much sincerity—that kind of pity.
—Do Jae-young-ssi, wouldn’t it be better to speak more clearly if you have something you want?
“Will you listen if I tell you?”
—That’s something I’ll decide when I hear it. I’m in a position where I have to put my work aside.
“I wish Hyun-ssi would come right now. Preferably stay overnight, and drink with me too. You know that wine you gave me last time? I still have some left.”
A low laugh was heard through the receiver.
—Wait just 30 minutes.
“Come quickly. I’ll be waiting.”
The rather lover-like call ended. He flipped his phone over on the bed and got up. If he was going to drink, he needed some food. What ingredients were left in the house?
He walked out staggering and opened the refrigerator door. In the refrigerator were meat and shellfish that had been set aside before grilling, and—
“Ah, I haven’t thrown away the sushi yet.”
That was all the sushi Seung-kwon had bought last time. Jae-young took out the sushi and meat. He dumped the spoiled sushi into the food waste bag and started grilling the meat.
If Sa Gong-hyun had been working, he probably hadn’t eaten. Moreover, Sa Gong-hyun had a smaller appetite than Jae-young. He might have already eaten better food, but just in case, Jae-young grilled the meat generously.
When Sa Gong-hyun arrived at Jae-young’s house, it was about 28 minutes after the call had ended. As soon as Sa Gong-hyun appeared before him, Jae-young wrapped his arms around his neck with a smile in his eyes. The hand around Jae-young’s waist felt quite natural.
“You’re here?”
“The smell of alcohol is strong. Did you drink alone?”
“My boyfriend was busy.”
“You seem to have forgotten, but the one who said to wait and then abandoned me was Do Jae-young.”
Jae-young slightly raised his chin and then laughed briefly. There was nothing to refute since it wasn’t wrong.
“When I wait because you tell me to wait, you’re just like Ver.”
“I didn’t wait to be called a dog.”
“Then why?”
Sa Gong-hyun’s lips landed on Jae-young’s forehead. Jae-young reflexively closed and opened one eye.
“I should give you a satisfying compensation. Jumping out of my sight as you please made me angrier than I expected. I seriously considered having you taxidermied and hanging you on a wall.”
Despite saying that, his lips were pressed firmly, causing goosebumps all over Jae-young’s body. He didn’t have time to tell whether the shiver was due to his chilled courage or the breath being transmitted so nakedly.
The lips pressed against his forehead separated. Jae-young rolled his eyes upward. He thought it was a joke, but the leisurely opened eyes looked so serious that it was eerie.
“…You’re joking, right?”
“Your expression hopes it’s a joke.”
“Taxidermy is too scary.”
“If you’re curious, try pressing up against another bastard in front of me again.”
The hand wrapped around his waist was immediately released. Sa Gong-hyun slowly moved away without a trace of his presence.
Pressing up against? When? As Jae-young pondered Sa Gong-hyun’s words, he caught a scene that flashed through his mind. Could he be talking about seeing him with Han Ju-seong?
Isn’t he a total psycho? His drunkenness sobered up instantly.
The profile looking down indifferently at the plate on the table looked just like a ghost.
“…He’s my cousin.”
Jae-young, trying hard to recover his rotten expression, approached him. Sa Gong-hyun, with his eyes narrowed, scanned Jae-young’s face once.
“You don’t look alike.”
“Not all cousins look alike.”
“I know that much.”
“But…”
He was going to ask why he would say such a thing. Fortunately or unfortunately, since he was half-sobered, his thought process was more flexible.
He felt it intuitively. Sa Gong-hyun knows something. His fingertips trembled slightly. Jae-young hurriedly opened his mouth.
“Hyun-ssi.”
“I won’t ask what your circumstances are, so come and sit down. For me, addressing Do Jae-young’s concerns is the priority.”
He pulled out a chair and sat down. His relaxed smiling face, as if he didn’t care about being lied to, rather choked Jae-young’s breath.
Continued in “Swindler” Volume 3
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
