After that day, there was no news about Cha Jae-woo. It was as if someone had deliberately blocked any information about him; not a single article about him had been published for a long time.
It felt as if that day was the last time I would see Cha Jae-woo. Of course, the Guide who follows me is still the same. I don’t know what he’s up to. Does he want me to worry about him?
If that’s the case, then he has succeeded to some extent. I was going crazy worrying about Cha Jae-woo.
‘Why does he act like he’s being sincere?’
It was maddening. Why was I feeling this way? I didn’t want to think about Cha Jae-woo’s face, but the more he stayed out of sight, the more I thought about him.
This too must be an act. Cha Jae-woo is just trying to deceive me to get what he wants. He’s changed his tactics to pretending to be pitiful.
He tried to force me and even attempted to erase my memories, but none of it worked on me. So now, he’s trying to evoke my sympathy by acting pitiful, which he thinks is the easiest way. He knows best that I’m easily swayed by sympathy.
“Sigh…”
I rubbed my face in frustration and stuffed my textbook into my bag.
Let’s try not to worry about it. For now, I should be content that he’s not around. If he shows up again, I’ll deal with it then. Worrying about it now would only distract me from my studies.
But no matter how I think about it, his methods are too cruel. The fact that he’s trying to deceive me again makes me furious. Of course, the most frustrating thing is that I can’t help but wonder if it might be true.
What was it?
The chaotic voice of Cha Jae-woo. It felt like his unfiltered thoughts were flowing into me. Plus, he said he couldn’t control his frequency. Did something unknown happen to me? Or was he just pretending?
I couldn’t tell where the truth ended and the lies began. Trying to figure it out was driving me crazy.
“Is something wrong?”
I must have looked as messed up as I felt. Especially Kim Geon-ung, who was always quick to notice my state.
“Nothing.”
I turned off my phone screen and put it in my pocket before responding.
“Is it about Cha Jae-woo?”
Unfortunately, Kim Geon-ung was too perceptive and had good eyesight to ignore.
“Are you still looking for news about Cha Jae-woo?”
His low voice was tinged with exasperation.
I had no response because I was doing the same thing. Yes, I was still searching for news about Cha Jae-woo. Ever since he mysteriously disappeared, I had been trying to find any information about him.
I was just curious about what he was up to. It had become a habit to search for his name. Actually, I had been doing it more frequently lately.
“Did you see that about Cha Jae-woo? His condition is supposedly really bad.”
“Suddenly? Didn’t he have a Guide? I heard that Guide died too.”
“I don’t know. Maybe. There was an article saying he was on the verge of going berserk.”
“Really? …Wait, there’s no article about that at all.”
“Huh? …You’re right, there really isn’t.”
“They must have deleted it because it was a false rumor.”
“Maybe.”
The rumors I overheard made me anxious.
Worrying about Cha Jae-woo was ridiculous. I didn’t want to worry about him, but I couldn’t help it.
What if the rumors were true? There really was no news about Cha Jae-woo. It was as if someone had deliberately erased all information about him.
But wasn’t that strange?
There used to be countless articles about Cha Jae-woo, even when he wasn’t doing anything. But now, there was nothing? This was even more peculiar. That’s why it bothered me so much. Not only that, but Cha Jae-woo’s words and actions kept replaying in my mind.
I might have thought that maybe he was being sincere. …Huh, sincere. I was thinking about sincerity again. It was foolish. It wasn’t surprising, so I didn’t even feel like denying it. I wanted to see Cha Jae-woo’s condition and his feelings for myself.
How far was I going to be foolish? I didn’t think I was this bad before. I almost laughed at my own ridiculous thoughts.
“I wish this would stop,” Kim Geon-ung said, looking at me seriously. I nodded immediately.
“Me too.”
I really wanted it to stop. But what could I do if it didn’t?
I stood up to go home and looked at Kim Geon-ung for a moment. He looked troubled but didn’t seem to want to say more. Maybe he knew that my heart was moving on its own.
I patted Kim Geon-ung on the shoulder, feeling a mix of frustration and guilt.
“I’m going first.”
“…….”
“Thanks for worrying about me.”
Kim Geon-ung nodded briefly. He looked like he was holding back something he wanted to say, but I pretended not to notice.
As I left the school, I saw the familiar car. Cha Jae-woo wasn’t around, but the situation hadn’t changed. The driver was still there every day, just like before.
At first, he would tell me to get in, but now he seemed to have given up halfway and didn’t even call me. I wished he wouldn’t show up at all. But then I shook my head.
Strangely, I felt better seeing the driver. If he disappeared completely, I felt like I would end up looking for Cha Jae-woo out of anxiety about what might have happened.
‘Why do I even…’
I shook my head to stop the recurring thoughts. As usual lately, I tried to pass by the driver.
“Guide.”
But unlike other days, today he called out to me. The driver’s voice was trembling.
“……Yes.”
I stopped in my tracks as if I had been waiting for this. I tried to respond calmly, but my voice was also shaking strangely. Why was he calling me with that face and that voice? A wave of fear washed over me.
“Please get in.”
I couldn’t think of what to say. If I got in, fine; if not, too bad. His attitude was different from before.
What was really going on? I wondered, but for now, I shook my head.
“I’m not getting in.”
“I’m sorry. Please get in.”
But the driver didn’t budge at my refusal. He didn’t seem like he would force me, but he looked even more anxious. I wanted to shake my head again, but seeing him like that made me feel complicated.
Maybe Cha Jae-woo threatened him? Is that why he was almost begging me to get in with that anxious face? If not…
There was no way to know unless he told me straight. I fidgeted with my fingers and then sighed deeply.
“……Yes.”
I had a bad feeling about this. That’s why I should have avoided it. But in the end, I decided to get in the car. My hesitation was brief because I had been thinking about Cha Jae-woo so much.
The driver looked surprised but opened the back door as if he had been waiting. The car, which I hadn’t been in for a long time, felt awkward and uncomfortable.
The car started smoothly. As I slightly expected, it wasn’t heading towards my house. I felt a mix of emptiness and anxiety, but also a strange sense of relief.
If it came to this, I would be forced to go. A ridiculous excuse came to mind. I shook my head and sighed deeply.
“Are we going to Cha Jae-woo’s house?”
I had my eyes tightly shut, so I didn’t see the driver’s reaction. But from his voice, I could tell he was tense.
“I’m sorry.”
“Did Cha Jae-woo tell you to bring me? He acted like he would never show up again…”
“No. I’m doing this on my own because I thought it was necessary.”
“…….”
It was a strange thing to say. Why would the driver take me on his own? He seemed to realize this too and quickly explained.
“Guide, you seem to be needed right now. So…”
I opened my eyes and looked at my fingertips. My hands were trembling uncontrollably.
I was curious but still afraid to go to his house. Yet, I also wanted to see how Cha Jae-woo was doing. These conflicting thoughts tormented me.
I closed my eyes again and tried to ignore the situation.
“I can’t guide.”
That was all I could say.
“Even if I go, there’s nothing I can do.”
I was nothing now. To Cha Jae-woo, I was no different from an ordinary person. So, there was no need to worry about him. I couldn’t do anything for him anyway.
But what did I want by getting in this car?
“I think… you can help.”
I didn’t respond. The car continued to move in silence.
