#Side Story 2
It was a naturally flowing question, but both of them knew exactly when it was referring to without needing to ask.
That day when they met again. The A-grade monster that attacked the city center. The very day when Oh-yul appeared like a savior, deflecting debris that was falling on Ho-woo’s head.
Oh-yul quietly looked at Ho-woo. Even without voicing an answer, Ho-woo found the truth in that gaze.
I see.
A heavy sense of guilt settled on Ho-woo’s chest again. He recalled the TV screen showing the names of countless victims. Realizing that the moment he had felt relieved for not dying was actually the moment when others had died because of him, his breath caught in his throat.
Just as no one knew that Ho-woo had pressed the button to lower the defense wall, no one except Ho-woo would know about his sin. And Lee Ho-woo was living with the monster in the deepest trench, keeping this heavy secret. The only one he could share this unbearably heavy secret with was the monster, as he couldn’t tell anyone else.
“Is that all you’re curious about?”
Oh-yul wouldn’t hide the truth if Ho-woo asked, but he also wouldn’t kindly list out everything he had done on his own, so Ho-woo often encountered the truth at unexpected moments like this.
Ho-woo clenched his fist so tightly that his knuckles turned white as he recalled a few days ago.
***
The pager that had been temporarily unmuted rang loudly. Ho-woo realized a bit late that it was his.
“Ho-woo, your pager is ringing.”
At Seong Ha-young’s pointed remark, Ho-woo finally checked his pager and answered the call with a slightly bewildered face. Oh-yul didn’t contact Ho-woo through the pager. So for Ho-woo, who had been using it merely as a watch with a location tracker, his eyes widened at the voice he heard.
-How have you been?
It was a call from Baek Sang-jin. Ho-woo was quite surprised as inter-city communication required a satellite phone. He was even more surprised because his pager didn’t include satellite phone functionality.
“How did you contact me?”
-You can request to reroute the connection.
“Ah…”
-More importantly, do you have a moment to talk?
“Um… Just a moment.”
Baek Sang-jin’s voice lowered slightly, seemingly wanting a private conversation. Ho-woo saw Seong Ha-young nod lightly, then left the lab and slumped down in a corner of the emergency stairwell.
“What’s the matter?”
-I’d love to just chat about trivial personal matters, but you’re the only one I can contact about that man.
“……”
Ho-woo affirmed with silence. Baek Sang-jin could be considered someone who shared a similar secret. Although not a comfortable person to talk to, he wasn’t someone Ho-woo needed to avoid conversation with, so he waited for what would come next.
-I heard there was quite a commotion in the city recently when the defense wall came down.
“…That’s right.”
-And the reason why the well-functioning defense wall went down is unclear, they say.
“I’m not sure what you’re getting at.”
Ho-woo’s words ended on a somewhat sharp note. Baek Sang-jin let out a low laugh at the rather pointed response.
-I was just saying you must have had a hard time.
“……”
-Especially you.
Ho-woo stubbornly didn’t answer. Baek Sang-jin, as if he had expected Ho-woo’s silence, naturally brought up a different topic.
-By the way, about those kidnappers who abducted you. Did they say anything strange?
Baek Sang-jin had sent back the kidnappers who had abducted Ho-woo outside the city in a gentle manner. Of course, they came back in handcuffs as criminals, but Ho-woo had heard it was quite a humane treatment.
Thinking they must have acted on Kim Dong-cheol’s orders, Ho-woo hadn’t been paying attention to them. But the question that popped out of Baek Sang-jin’s mouth caught Ho-woo off guard.
“What kind of strange things do you mean?”
-So you don’t know after all?
Baek Sang-jin’s reaction was as if he had expected this.
-I received quite an interesting report and thought I should let you know too. We’re comrades, aren’t we?
Ho-woo’s lip twitched. The word ‘comrades’ didn’t sound particularly good to him. Regardless of how Ho-woo felt, Baek Sang-jin continued calmly.
-According to their claim, it wasn’t their own will.
“Isn’t that just a simple evasion? And if Kim Dong-cheol ordered it, I suppose you could say it wasn’t their own will.”
Ho-woo asked nonchalantly, as it was common for criminals to claim their actions weren’t intentional after committing a crime.
-True, if that’s all you hear, it might sound like a simple excuse. But the important part comes after.
Baek Sang-jin paused to catch his breath on the other end of the line before continuing.
-They said there were no orders from Kim Dong-cheol at all, and that they just felt a compulsive need to take you to the southern city. The problem here is that although they are bodyguards, they’re civilians who can’t leave the city. Usually, the city gates are managed by Espers, you know.
“But Kim Dong-cheol was the minister at the time, so he could have stationed Espers loyal to him, right?”
-Well, that might be possible for the gates, but going outside the city without Esper escorts seems like nothing short of suicide.
“…Are you saying there were no escort Espers?”
-That’s what they claim. Both of them gave the same testimony.
“What about the possibility they agreed on their story beforehand?”
-According to the report from our Espers who cleared the road, there were no traces except for that of a young wind-type brat, so it’s hard to say they’re lying.
Ho-woo thought many things in an instant. Familiar names and faces flashed through his mind. The scene of blue eyes turning purple was vivid. Strangely, it wasn’t surprising that he recalled him. It seemed he had become somewhat accustomed to these tricks.
I didn’t want to get used to this kind of thing.
“I see.”
Baek Sang-jin showed a slightly surprised reaction to Ho-woo’s response.
-You’re not surprised?
“Too much has happened for me to be surprised.”
Feigning calmness, Ho-woo stood up and dusted himself off. The truth is always heavy. Guilt clung to his heart like a stain on white pants.
“Thank you for letting me know.”
-….
After the final greeting, Baek Sang-jin’s voice was no longer heard from the pager. Ho-woo returned to the lab and pondered seriously.
“Did something happen?”
Seong Ha-young approached the subdued Ho-woo and asked carefully. Ho-woo wanted to ask someone, anyone.
“If I…”
If I die, will all his crazy actions stop?
The reason he couldn’t voice those words was because a thread of reason remained. He couldn’t bring himself to say such things to Seong Ha-young. Swallowing the boiling emotions down his throat, Ho-woo forced a smile.
“It’s nothing. Do we still have work to do today?”
A worried gaze followed him, but all Ho-woo could do was keep smiling.
***
Ho-woo wanted to ask.
The words he couldn’t bring himself to ask Seong Ha-young swirled in his mouth again.
“If I…”
A sunken voice scratched his throat roughly.
“If I die, will everything end?”
The desperate curiosity finally crawled out between his lips. A steady gaze lingered on Ho-woo’s face.
“Do you want to die?”
The monster asked.
“Why?”
He tilted his head as if he truly didn’t understand.
“Tell me. I, I need to know everything.”
Oh-yul muttered obsessively. There shouldn’t be anything about Lee Ho-woo that he didn’t know. Everything about him was tailored for Ho-woo. Nothing should be out of alignment.
Energy rippled and burst out following his fluctuating emotions. White frost settled around them following that flow. The monster sitting on his shoulder couldn’t maintain its bird form and fell to the ground with a splat, becoming a black mass. The thing that had been making strange gurgling cries now made a sound that was painfully close to human.
“He, hello…”
The weakened monster wriggled and crawled towards Ho-woo’s feet. Its desperate appearance made his skin crawl.
“Don’t mind the scraps, look at me.”
The moment Ho-woo glanced at the monster, Oh-yul, unable to bear even that instant, grabbed his chin and furrowed his brow.
“We’ve been getting along well, haven’t we? Why are you suddenly acting like this?”
His voice was kind, but Oh-yul’s expression was hardened.
“…Because I’m scared.”
A voice mixed with tears barely flowed out from his tightly constricted vocal cords. Ho-woo gripped the wrist of the man holding his cheek with both hands. It felt like he would collapse if he didn’t.
“I’m scared. I can’t bear the fear that people died because of me.”
“……”
“So if I just die and disappear, no one else will die…”
“So you want to die?”
Ho-woo nodded heavily. His eyes were now wet with tears.
“I see.”
Oh-yul nodded as if he finally understood. He embraced Ho-woo, lightly kissed his wet eyes, and then gently patted his back while whispering softly.
“Then let’s think about it this way. All the people in the city are alive thanks to Ho-woo.”
“…What?”
The small hiccups stopped. Ho-woo looked up at the man holding him painfully tight, his face blank as if he couldn’t easily understand what he had just heard.
“Without Ho-woo, there would be no city and no me. I told you, didn’t I?”
That all their joy was given by Ho-woo.
The words he hadn’t understood and had let slide at the time came back and lodged in his mind. Ho-woo gritted his teeth at Oh-yul’s words that once again pushed him to the edge of a cliff. The sound of his teeth grinding was clear.
“This is all I can say to Ho-woo. What right do I have to beg you not to die?”
Even as he pushed Ho-woo to the edge with cruel words, Oh-yul’s touch was gentle as if pulling him out of a swamp.
“But if you really want to die, please make sure to tell me first.”
A large hand wiped away the remaining tears from his wet eyes.
“Even your last moments are mine, so I’ll do it myself. It won’t hurt.”
After finishing his words calmly and matter-of-factly, Oh-yul continued in a slightly raised voice as if to change the subdued atmosphere.
“Well then, shall we go on a date?”
The man who had been walking ahead in the ruins turned back again when he didn’t feel anyone following.
“Ho-woo?”
As he called out to Ho-woo quizzically, he looked so completely unbothered that Ho-woo felt a sense of unreality. Doubts sprang up about whether this was really a human. Ho-woo thought that he himself must not be in his right mind either, for feeling this eerie affection as terribly sweet.
He was going mad bit by bit.
Maybe that’s the better direction. If he had to live his whole life crushed by guilt, going mad might be a much happier life.
Ho-woo barely moved his trembling legs, approaching Oh-yul one step at a time, and grasped his hand. The warm, large hand strongly gripped his still slightly shaking fingertips.
Behind them, the bird that had barely regained its form fluttered its small wings and followed. Letting out a high, shrill cry, it filled its small, shining black eyes with the image of the two people.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
