#73
Generally, guides held the initiative in guiding. This was because the guide itself was the channel through which the Esper’s energy flowed and the subject that purified the energy. If a guide didn’t want it, guiding wouldn’t occur no matter how much an Esper forced it.
However, Oh-yul was different.
He could forcibly open the channel that a guide had closed and push energy in up to the limit. No guide welcomed this very rude and coercive act. If Oh-yul hadn’t been a time bomb that could wipe out the city, he would have exploded long ago from not receiving enough guiding.
Meanwhile, noticing that Ho-woo still couldn’t grasp what reverse guiding was, Joo Si-yeo stirred her melted, slushy smoothie and added a simple explanation.
“Reverse guiding is forced guiding that ignores the guide’s will. Usually, guiding is led by the guide, but that guy snatches away that initiative and uses the guide’s body like a tool.”
“Ah…”
Ho-woo nodded at Joo Si-yeo’s brief explanation. If that was the case, Yul’s words made sense. It meant that guiding occurred under Yul’s initiative even when he didn’t do anything.
But why did he have to hide it? If he had just explained properly, Ho-woo would have gladly helped Yul.
“You look like you’re wondering why he had to hide it.”
Ho-woo reflexively touched his face at Joo Si-yeo’s words. Is my expression that obvious?
“Yes, it’s very clear. You must be curious, but the person involved will explain the reason.”
Joo Si-yeo glanced at the detestable man. The Esper with exceptionally handsome features acted as if this whole affair was terribly sad and frightening, but his cool eyes were endlessly observing the other person and assessing the situation.
Even though this event had unfolded differently from his intentions, he would grasp the situation and drive the other person in the desired direction to achieve what he wanted.
He had been doing so until now and would continue to drive Ho-woo into a solid net.
“Guides usually hate reverse guiding very much. It’s natural to dislike having your body used regardless of your will. In fact, saying it was for Ho-woo’s sake is just an excuse. If I’m honest… I didn’t tell you because I was a coward.”
His voice, admitting his fault and continuing calmly, had almost no variation in pitch. Like confessing to a priest, Yul clasped his hands. The tips of his fingers trembled slightly.
“At first, I just liked it. Because Ho-woo didn’t fear me. That gaze that looked at me straight on made me not a monster.”
“Isn’t that because I became a guide?”
Only guides were not afraid of Espers. The threat that unconsciously emanated couldn’t be perfectly controlled even with effort, so the higher-ranked an Esper was, the harder it was for them to mix with ordinary people.
Ho-woo thought he didn’t fear them because he had been forcibly made a guide, but Oh-yul lightly shook his head.
“No, it would have been the same even if you hadn’t become a guide.”
With a tone filled with firm conviction, his gaze that had been directed at the floor touched Ho-woo again. The blue color spread in his iris like paint sparkled in the sunlight. It was a very beautiful sight, but also gloomy.
“Even if I didn’t tell Ho-woo, I never lied. This is the last line I’m keeping, and I will never cross it.”
The line drawn at each other’s feet.
Even between the closest people, the line drawn assuming the very last moment was solid.
Can one person ever fully know another in life? Even in the most intimate relationships, people tend to tell at least one lie.
Ho-woo stared at his lover, who said not telling lies was his final line, with a complicated expression.
“At first, it was greed. I thought I wanted to be with you more, and I seized the opportunity. But once I grasped that opportunity, I became afraid.”
Oh-yul, who seemed to have nothing to fear in the world, now looked the smallest and most wretched.
“What were you so afraid of?”
“Being abandoned.”
I was afraid you would throw me away.
The last part was barely audible, but Ho-woo heard it clearly.
The strongest being who had far surpassed humans crouched at the feet of the most ordinary person, looking up endlessly and yearning. That pitiful plea contained not a shred of pride.
Don’t abandon me.
Ho-woo hardened his expression as he watched Yul pleading with his eyes, expression, and entire body.
Their relationship had never been equal from the start. It hadn’t changed at all from when he had begged not to be hated. Even if Lee Ho-woo himself didn’t realize it, he had been in a superior position, and the man who had desperately held onto secrets for fear of being abandoned had never had a day of peace.
In any case, Ho-woo knew well that he wouldn’t be able to give up on Yul. Just as Yul was anxious, Ho-woo was anxious too and had set up this meeting. To dig a hole to somehow keep him close.
Romance is too difficult.
The romance that others said was easy and happy was too difficult for Ho-woo.
“Oh-yul.”
“……”
At the low call, his head bowed deeply as if resigned. His tightly closed eyes and long eyelashes trembled slightly.
Even while pleading not to be abandoned, he acted as if resigned. The thought that perhaps all he had learned in life was to give up made Ho-woo feel even more sorry for him.
Is this really the feeling of liking someone?
Isn’t it just pity?
No matter how much he pondered, the answer was the same. His heart was drawn in an strange way. It just felt good, like finding a lost puzzle piece.
If he had to find a reason for his emotions, he could probably come up with a few.
One thing was clear: Lee Ho-woo would not let go of Oh-yul.
“For now, you just need to say you’re sorry.”
“…I’m sorry.”
Ho-woo swallowed a deep sigh and raised his arms to hug Yul tightly. Even if he wanted to reproach him for what he had done, it wasn’t easy. Even though the uneasiness remaining in a corner of his heart rang alarm bells, Ho-woo was now afraid to dig into it.
He buried his face in Oh-yul’s firm shoulder. With his vision blocked, all that remained was the body temperature enveloping him and Yul’s scent reminiscent of a wet forest.
“Is there anything else you need to tell me?”
“……”
He didn’t answer. Ho-woo couldn’t tell if this was affirmation, or if he couldn’t answer because he wouldn’t lie.
He just hoped it was affirmation.
The Esper, deeply embracing his pair, sent a chilling gaze to those sitting across.
A warning.
Eyes devoid of a single piece of laughter or emotion scanned Cha Geon-woo. At the eyes filled with clear killing intent, Ha Eun-chan crouched defensively and held his breath to protect his guide.
“Wow, that’s cringe-worthy.”
Joo Si-yeo spoke with a voice tinged with faint amusement. At that voice, Ho-woo suddenly remembered Joo Si-yeo and the other two, and hastily detached himself.
“I’m sorry, you took time out of your schedules to come here, and it seems we’ve unnecessarily involved you in our personal matters.”
Ho-woo, who had originally intended to just quietly gather some information, sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. Yul’s sudden appearance at this meeting place was unexpected. And hearing such a confession was even more unexpected.
“It’s fine. I found it entertaining in my own way. I even got to see Oh-yul cry.”
Joo Si-yeo belatedly regretted not taking a picture of that scene. Ha Eun-chan, who had been acting like a cat with its fur on end, maintaining his guard towards Oh-yul, finally relaxed.
“So, are we done here? I get a lot of nagging if I’m away from my post for too long.”
Joo Si-yeo stood up, stretching. If she, who was in charge of the city’s power, was away for too long, it increased the burden on other power-related Espers.
She deliberately used a more cheerful voice for Ho-woo, who still looked apologetic.
“Don’t you think it’s weird that I’m getting nagged at when I’m now the manager?”
“Manager?”
“Yeah, when this guy takes the minister position, I’ll be officially announced too. It’s temporary for now.”
“Wow, congratulations!”
“Hmm? Is it something to be congratulated for? I just think of it as having more responsibility while doing the same job.”
Because many positions managing the city’s infrastructure facilities were left vacant when Kim Dong-cheol abandoned the city and fled, Joo Si-yeo reluctantly took charge of the power plant.
But since the work itself hadn’t changed, she was still busy. On top of that, she was having even busier days trying to deploy Espers as efficiently as possible or designate rest days to match the insufficient number of guides.
She’s not resentful. It’s not just her, after all.
Joo Si-yeo deliberately addressed Ha Eun-chan, who had a sullen expression.
“Eun-chan, didn’t you say you were going to be in charge of something soon too?”
“…Yes. The place that manages the roads in and out of the city.”
“The facility maintenance team?”
“Even if you call it facility maintenance, it’s just managing so that monsters don’t destroy the roads, you know.”
In the end, it meant that Ha Eun-chan too would be wearing a bigger hat of responsibility without any real change in his existing work.
“They say that when Oh-yul officially takes the minister position in two months, they’ll tear down walls and make new uniforms for each season. Right?”
“That’s right. Even now, the authority to reorganize is barely sufficient.”
With Kim Dong-cheol gone, the organization that had lost his minions lost its center. Oh-yul had grasped it in an instant.
