#127
Unrefined emotion welled up in his throat. Instead of retching, Ho-woo roughly grabbed Oh-yul’s collar. He gripped so hard that blue veins popped up on the back of his hand. The thin fabric, unable to withstand the force, made a ripping sound.
As he brought his face close, their breaths mingled nakedly. How many times had they kissed like this, feeling each other’s breath? That previous excitement was nowhere to be felt now.
Slowly, a purple tinge seeped into the piercing blue eyes. The color spread like paint in water, beautifully dreamlike yet evoking a distant longing.
“Didn’t I clearly say goodbye?” Ho-woo spat out, gritting his teeth as he recalled the past memory. Instead of answering, Oh-yul slowly tilted his head and gave Ho-woo a light kiss.
Smack—
The sound of wet flesh sliding echoed loudly in the room. In that moment, Ho-woo felt Oh-yul’s lips slowly curling up.
Fuck.
Ho-woo pushed Oh-yul away forcefully. His vision turned blood-red and his eyes rolled back. The fighter Lee Ho-woo, hidden behind lost memories, jerked his head up and began to assert himself.
He felt like he couldn’t bear it without punching that smug face.
Ho-woo took a deep breath, clenching his fist so hard his fingers tingled. Usually, one would take deep breaths to calm down, but Lee Ho-woo was now gathering his breath to seriously strike the man before him.
Whoosh—
As he exhaled one last long breath, Ho-woo swung his fist with all his might. It was his best shot, teeth clenched, but Oh-yul’s gaze followed the swinging fist. He saw the incoming punch but didn’t dodge. Instead, he slightly turned his head to deflect the impact, ensuring the fist wouldn’t hurt itself as it struck his face with a loud sound.
“You’ll hurt your hand.”
Oh-yul smiled brightly with a surprisingly clean face. Ho-woo, thoroughly provoked, stomped his feet unable to contain his anger.
He felt stifled, as if his insides were completely blocked. The still unorganized memories jumbled together, driving Ho-woo to the edge of a cliff. He was furiously angry, yet he loved this man.
This crazy stalker.
Ho-woo glared at Oh-yul with bloodshot eyes. As memories from before age 10 resurfaced, the memories that Oh-yul had implanted with suggestions and tucked away in a corner were also dragged out.
Oh-yul’s touch had reached every corner of his life.
Unable to stand the sight of that shameless, composed face, Ho-woo fled in a hurry. He ran down the stairs without even grabbing his coat, gritting his teeth at the gentle hand that draped the coat over his shoulders.
“You’ll catch a cold.”
“……”
“Don’t stay out too late.”
Fuck.
Swallowing the curse he couldn’t spit out, Ho-woo slammed the door shut. Oh-yul didn’t chase after him.
***
Kim Do-hyun was very displeased.
He was almost lying down on the sofa, endlessly staring at his phone screen.
His friend of 18 years, who had just regained memories from before age 10 – such an important matter – had left only a single text message and then turned off his phone, going completely silent.
It was ridiculous.
No, not just ridiculous. It was infuriating and dumbfounding. He wanted to rush over and demand if that’s all their friendship meant to him. As he was stewing in his anger, sprawled on the sofa without even washing up after work, Do-hyun slightly raised his upper body to check the intercom at the sudden sound of the doorbell.
‘Who could it be at this hour?’
It was already quite late, not a time when someone would typically visit. The black shadow reflected in the camera wasn’t clear, perhaps because the screen was small. Do-hyun was squinting at the intercom when he suddenly opened his eyes wide at the voice he heard, accompanied by loud knocking.
“Kim Do-hyun! Open the door!”
Hearing Ho-woo’s voice, whom he thought he wouldn’t see for a while, Do-hyun hastily got up. He was in such a hurry that he stumbled, his foot catching on the edge of the table, barely regaining his balance.
“Kim Do-hyun!”
As the knocking and urgent voice continued, Do-hyun headed to the entrance and frowned at the noticeably dented metal door.
“What’s this? Why is it like this?”
The door, which had been fine when he came home from work, could only have been dented by his long-time friend who was now knocking.
Bang! Bang!
As Ho-woo knocked on the door again, the metal visibly dented further. Do-hyun panicked and tried to open the door to shout. He was about to snap at Ho-woo for trying to turn the door into scrap metal, but when he actually opened the door and faced Ho-woo, he couldn’t say anything.
Ho-woo was deathly pale, shaking slightly, with his cheeks and eyes soaked. He was clutching his coat, which he should have been wearing, in a crumpled mess, and breathing heavily.
Do-hyun wanted to ask what had happened, but he silently stepped aside to let Ho-woo enter. With that consideration, Ho-woo stumbled in and collapsed weakly onto the sofa where Do-hyun had been sprawled until just now.
Like a person whose soul had left their body, Lee Ho-woo just sat there blankly before exhaling with a mix of laughter and despair.
“Ha…”
That short breath carried numerous emotions.
“Do-hyun, what am I going to do?”
With his vision going dark, Lee Ho-woo roughly rubbed his face. He had fled without thinking, but he had nowhere to go.
He couldn’t go to his father. Going there would only cause worry. He couldn’t go to his original home either. Reporters were still occasionally poking their heads around there. Going there would obviously cause a commotion. After considering everything, the only place left was Kim Do-hyun’s house.
Ho-woo had walked endlessly through the night streets. Actually, he wasn’t sure if he had walked or run. He was so out of it that he had barely managed to check if he was on the right path as he moved his legs. Feeling as if Oh-yul’s gaze was following him, he wanted to hide anywhere.
When he finally arrived at Do-hyun’s apartment, Ho-woo had regained some of his senses. As the memories that had rushed out like a torrent from the closed door in his mind started to find their places one by one, reason belatedly raised its head.
It was bleak.
The old feelings, the longing and persistence accumulated over a long time, were frighteningly heavy. The obsession to never let go dragged Ho-woo down into deep waters.
It was a relationship that should never have continued. It should have ended when Ho-woo let go of his hand on that rainy day 18 years ago.
Although he understood but couldn’t forgive, liked but resented, it was just a painful relationship that would only draw eternal parallel lines if they remained by each other’s side. Yet Oh-yul had patched up this relationship haphazardly. What exactly was he trying to fix? He hadn’t fixed anything.
As Ho-woo kept exhaling sighs mixed with laments, a thin blanket settled over his head. A hand briefly squeezed his shoulder before letting go, not saying much.
“For now, get some rest.”
Do-hyun willingly gave up his room to Ho-woo. Despite having work the next day, he happily settled on the sofa. When Ho-woo hesitated, Do-hyun simply lay down.
Realizing that further argument would be futile as Do-hyun wouldn’t budge, Ho-woo entered the room and crouched in a corner of the bed, his face scrunched up gloomily.
I guess breaking up is the right thing to do after all.
They say it’s a love-hate relationship. Ho-woo couldn’t bear such a relationship where they burned each other while shining light. He’d contact Oh-yul after calming down a bit more. To break up.
Although the unsettling clause in the contract nagged at his mind, it should be fine since they hadn’t imprinted. If he quit guiding, his changing body might return to normal or stop at this state, but it could still be reversed.
Even in the mental realm, he was only half-capable, unable to use any abilities. He could just get a job at a company again and work.
As Ho-woo organized his thoughts step by step, he curled up his body.
Could it have been intentional from their very first meeting?
On the day when a huge monster covered the city sky, countless people died. Passing by screams, blood stains everywhere, and fallen people, Ho-woo too ran and ran to survive.
The enormous debris falling from above and the premonition of death he felt at that moment still sent chills down his spine. Ho-woo shook his head vigorously to shake off the thoughts. No matter what, that thought was going too far.
Surely not…
They say it’s always the “surely not” that gets you, but this time, he wanted to believe it wasn’t true. If Oh-yul had really deliberately lured the monster into the city, Ho-woo felt he would be crushed by guilt over the deaths of others, let alone his own situation.
To erase the persistently clinging thoughts, Ho-woo burrowed into the blanket and closed his eyes.
The black view instantly changed to a bright corridor, with a wide-open door directly in front catching his eye first.
Ho-woo once again slowly approached that door and peered inside.
His younger self and Oh-yul were there. The infinitely peaceful yet desperate scene quickly flashed by.
He looked back at the corridor he had walked through again. Among the countless doors, there were memories with particularly shining door frames. It seemed that with his mind full of Oh-yul, he had unconsciously picked out a few memories featuring Oh-yul.
If I’m going to break up anyway, is there any reason to know?
Ho-woo, who had asked himself this, quickly found another answer.
Since I’m going to break up anyway, doesn’t it not matter if I look?
