Chapter 40
The cast members sitting around quietly put down their spoons. It’s really hard to just have a meal in peace. While thinking this, their eyes turned to Ki Seo-jung’s soup bowl. The seafood stew, served as appetizingly as if it were being sold, looked untouched, just as Cha Yoon had said.
While puzzled, they also thought it could be possible. Isn’t it up to him what he eats…? But the mild-mannered and kind cast members couldn’t say such things in the current situation.
“…Maybe he’s purposely saving it?”
“Right. Some people eat the most delicious parts last!”
“Oh, I have a friend who does that too.”
So Seo-jung must be that type. Yeah! The gazes of the gathered people and the stories justifying his behavior. Seo-jung read the minds of those who wanted to quickly resolve the situation.
It was impossible to bring up his shellfish allergy at such a timing. The reactions of people who would apologize for not being told were clear in his mind. Seo-jung didn’t want that situation.
His allergic reactions weren’t severe, and he had brought emergency medicine just in case. He didn’t want to make a big deal out of an issue that could be resolved by just taking medicine. Seo-jung picked up the spoon placed on the table.
Turning his eyes, he saw the soup bowl filled with large shrimp and blue crabs. It felt like facing the truth he had been trying to ignore throughout the meal. At that moment, he felt a sharp pain in his heart. Seo-jung tightened his grip on the spoon.
His face felt like it would contort from the numerous thoughts flooding his mind. Seo-jung took a deep breath. Not now. There were many people here, and Seo-jung was someone who couldn’t show such a side of himself. Responsibility, duty…. He repeated a few words that made him stronger.
After suppressing his emotions, Seo-jung imitated a fairly cheerful voice.
“I couldn’t eat because it looked too good to touch, but I guess I should.”
Ki Seo-jung, making a light joke, casually sipped the soup. He thought this would be enough.
“It’s delicious, Cha Yoon.”
“……”
“I’ll enjoy it.”
The soup finally slid down his throat. Although his stomach churned as if he had drunk poison, Seo-jung smiled at Cha Yoon as if nothing was wrong.
Watching the smoothly upturned corners of his mouth, as if drawn, Cha Yoon flinched.
Clearly, Seo-jung’s appearance before him was similar to what he had imagined. He heard the words he had expected and saw Ki Seo-jung’s smile. Yet, he wasn’t happy. Far from being pleased, he felt rather unpleasant.
It was all because of those eyes that seemed completely empty. Those eyes that seemed to hold no sincerity at all.
The eyes of Ki Seo-jung that he had always faced were full of vitality. Whether it was anger or irritation, or something else entirely.
But this time was different. It was undoubtedly the first time he had encountered such lifeless eyes devoid of any emotion.
Cha Yoon felt his heart racing. An indescribable anxiety and frustration enveloped him. He clenched his fist. Shit, what’s the problem? If you have a complaint, just say it. Why are you looking at me with those eyes?
While Cha Yoon was swept up in emotions he couldn’t control, the mealtime quickly passed. The cast members one by one showed signs of being full. Ki Seo-jung, who had been sitting in his place, stood up.
“I’ll do the dishes.”
“What? Isn’t Seo-jung working too hard?”
“It’s fine. I feel like I need to do some dishes to digest all this food.”
Kim Sae-young gave a thumbs up to Ki Seo-jung’s words. Seo-jung smiled lightly and started washing the piled-up dishes after putting on rubber gloves. As he was carefully scrubbing one by one with clattering sounds, it happened.
At some point, Cha Yoon approached the sink. He looked around, trying to catch Seo-jung’s attention. He even cleared his throat unnecessarily to make a sound. It was all because of an inexplicable anxiety. There was only one way to shake off this unease. To confirm that Ki Seo-jung’s eyes had returned to normal.
The first to notice Cha Yoon’s behavior was Min-ha, who was wiping the table. Why is Cha Yoon standing there like that? Min-ha tilted her head. Ah, is he perhaps trying to reconcile by helping with the dishes? Then I should leave them alone. Min-ha carefully left the kitchen, holding the dishcloth.
Thanks to Min-ha’s unintended consideration, now only Ki Seo-jung and Cha Yoon were left in the kitchen. The sound of running water and clinking dishes continuously flowed from the kitchen.
Seo-jung still had his eyes fixed on the sink. Cha Yoon, who at first looked awkward, gradually turned sullen as time passed. He didn’t like how Ki Seo-jung was focusing only on the dishes without looking back even once.
Unlike Cha Yoon, whose face was increasingly contorting, Seo-jung couldn’t pay attention to his surroundings. It was because he felt his body becoming increasingly itchy. Perhaps due to his poor condition, the reaction was somewhat different from usual when it was just a slightly sore throat. Seo-jung was equally confused by this unprecedented situation.
But he couldn’t just leave the pile of dishes as they were. Seo-jung swallowed a sigh. There was no other way but to finish quickly and go upstairs. He hurried to finish the dishes as fast as possible.
“Are you done?”
It was when Seo-jung, having washed all the dishes, turned off the faucet. As the strong sound of water stopped, a grumpy voice filled its place. Ki Seo-jung only then realized someone was standing behind him. Seo-jung turned his head and looked up at Cha Yoon with his mouth open.
“Isn’t this plate not cleaned properly? It seems there’s still some grease on it.”
“……”
“You didn’t do it carelessly because you didn’t want to, did you?”
Cha Yoon nitpicked, rummaging through the well-cleaned dishes. There wasn’t any particular intention. He just wanted to get some kind of response from Ki Seo-jung. It would be fine if he got angry or irritated. That would be better than those eyes that showed no emotion towards him.
Cha Yoon, twisted from birth, didn’t know how to have a good conversation, and he knew even less about how to suppress his bad mood. The confrontational words that came out of his mouth were the result of all this.
“If there’s anything dirty, I’ll do it again tomorrow.”
However, Ki Seo-jung didn’t give Cha Yoon what he wanted. Was it because his body felt unwell? Cha Yoon’s continuous provocation was just tiring, and today his behavior felt more burdensome than ever. After answering in a dry tone, Seo-jung just walked past Cha Yoon.
Ki Seo-jung gasped for breath as soon as he entered the room. He needed to take his medicine quickly before Cha Yoon might follow and confront him. Seo-jung hurriedly grabbed his bag and went into the bathroom, finding the medicine and pouring it into his mouth.
“…Haa.”
Contrary to his worry, Cha Yoon didn’t follow him in. As the thought that he was finally alone sank in, the tension drained away. The hand holding Seo-jung’s bag gradually lost strength. With a thud, the hand that fell to the sink felt particularly pathetic today.
‘Stop pretending to be nice. No one appreciates it even if you go that far, so just do it moderately.’
Cha Yoon’s voice brushed past his ear. It wasn’t wrong. Ki Seo-jung was someone who cared about others’ opinions to the point where those around him found it frustrating.
He met eyes with the man reflected in the mirror. The man who had taken off his mask looked infinitely weak.
After staring at him for a long time, Ki Seo-jung burst out laughing without realizing it. His reddened face and body, even bloodshot eyes, looked ridiculous.
Seo-jung’s fist curled inward. He shouldn’t feel hurt, but sadness kept flooding in.
“…He really forgot everything.”
Seo-jung’s cheeks slowly became wet. Why are tears falling? They kept flowing no matter how much he wiped them away. Ki Seo-jung’s head dropped down.
In fact, he knew. The reason why his heart felt so cold.
Cha Yoon had been someone who was even more sensitive about allergies than Ki Seo-jung for the past seven years. He was the one who always reacted more firmly than Seo-jung himself, keeping shellfish away. He would even chase away friends who said they had eaten grilled shrimp the day before.
That Cha Yoon had really forgotten everything. To the point of filling Ki Seo-jung’s soup bowl with shellfish that he used to be so careful about. He was no longer the Cha Yoon that Seo-jung knew. The Cha Yoon who cared for and loved Ki Seo-jung more than anyone else was not here.
Ki Seo-jung bit his lower lip, trying to control his emotions. He tried to accept as natural that Cha Yoon had forgotten everything about him.
But that was a lie after all. Ki Seo-jung was deceiving even himself. Ki Seo-jung was not okay. It hurt that Cha Yoon had forgotten him.
His body being unwell made his heart keep trying to weaken. Ki Seo-jung leaned against the bathroom door, catching his breath. Any more unseemly behavior would be problematic. After swallowing his sorrow, he stood there blankly for quite a long time.
Zing, Seo-jung, holding his phone in his hand, reflexively lowered his face at the notification sound.
! You can now send a message for Day 6
Who made your heart flutter today? Try expressing your feelings to that person through a message.
* The message will be delivered anonymously.
It was tough. This place was somewhere he couldn’t be deeply immersed in any thought. He didn’t want to think for long either. Ki Seo-jung sent a text message with a drained expression.
To │Seo Min-ha
The rolled omelet was delicious.
It was a meaningless message. Although it might not be polite to the recipient, Ki Seo-jung had no other option. He tilted his head back. His body was getting worse.
Ki Seo-jung barely managed to wash up and collapsed onto the bed. The room was filled with the scent of lavender. With each exhale and inhale, the herb scent brushed his respiratory tract. Along with the feeling of falling to the bottom, Ki Seo-jung’s eyelids closed completely.
