Chapter 116
At times like that, Seo-jung wondered how Cha Yoon had interpreted his words that he looked good in anything. But it wasn’t about wearing something out of season, nor was it about forcing insincere words. Decisively, Cha Yoon’s desire to look good for him was so adorable that there was no reason not to indulge him. So Seo-jung would shower him with compliments until Cha Yoon’s smile grew so wide he’d hug Seo-jung, exclaiming how happy he was.
As these unforgettable memories surfaced vividly, Seo-jung’s expression hardened even more. While this outfit might hold no meaning for Cha Yoon, who had lost his memories, it was different for Seo-jung. For him, these clothes evoked the very first page of their shared memories.
Even though he clearly knew it wasn’t worn with any intention, seeing Cha Yoon about to go on a date with someone else in that outfit stirred up emotions.
As Seo-jung’s gaze lingered on him, Cha Yoon cleared his throat, as if something had occurred to him. Then he said:
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“……”
“Do I look different like this? Does it catch your eye more than usual? Do I look cool?”
Seo-jung barely swallowed the laugh that threatened to escape his lips. The succession of questions sounded ridiculous to him. A question rose to the tip of his tongue – “Do you really want to ask me that in this situation?” – but he couldn’t bring himself to voice it. Seo-jung closed his eyes deeply, then opened them and managed to speak.
“Yes, that’s right. You look good.”
“Right? I knew you’d say that.”
Seo-jung’s voice lowered further with his dampened mood. Although he spoke with force, as if pressing out each word, Cha Yoon didn’t notice and casually ran his hand through his hair. It was a gesture unmistakably tinged with shyness. Would he feel good about getting my approval while going on a date with someone else? Seo-jung couldn’t understand what Cha Yoon was thinking to act this way.
Seo-jung soon looked away. He wouldn’t be able to understand it within the bounds of his common sense anyway. Dwelling on such a problem wouldn’t change anything. Just ignore it. Even as he thought this, his hand gripped the hair dryer with force.
Seo-jung entered the bathroom and immediately turned on the hair dryer. The loud noise drowning out Cha Yoon’s humming made things a bit better. As he dried his hair, Seo-jung organized his thoughts.
Objectively speaking, this situation wasn’t bad for him at all. Since Cha Yoon was also enthusiastically preparing for a date, Seo-jung could get ready comfortably as well.
Not only that, looking further ahead, there was a possibility that Cha Yoon might develop feelings for someone else through today’s date. So Cha Yoon putting in his best effort like this was actually a golden opportunity to reach the outcome Seo-jung wanted.
Although it felt unpleasant, as if even the memories that had been uniquely his were fading, Seo-jung repeatedly told himself that he shouldn’t dwell on it anymore. After composing his emotions like this, Seo-jung left the bathroom.
He had to stop again immediately. It was because of the scent of cologne that hit his nose as soon as he crossed the bathroom threshold. Although he had never smelled it in X House before, it was a familiar scent, as if engraved in his nose. Frozen in place, Seo-jung snapped out of it at the sound of a spray. He slowly turned his head towards the subtle sound.
Where his gaze stopped, of course, was Cha Yoon. Seo-jung reflexively clenched his fist as he confirmed the cologne bottle in Cha Yoon’s hand. He gripped so tightly that the bones on the back of his hand visibly whitened.
As expected, what Cha Yoon held was the cologne Seo-jung had given him as his first gift. His body moved faster than he thought. Seo-jung approached Cha Yoon and asked:
“Where did you get that cologne?”
“What?”
“It’s not the cologne you usually use. I’m asking where you got it.”
“Oh, this?”
Although the question was almost aggressive, Cha Yoon wasn’t fazed at all. Rather, he looked happy that Seo-jung had shown interest in him first. Expressing this feeling, Cha Yoon started chattering away.
“Actually, I didn’t buy it, but I found it at home. I was about to throw it away, but I tried smelling it and liked it, so I spray it occasionally when I want to feel good.”
“……”
“I don’t usually like vanilla scents, but for some reason, this one keeps coming to mind and lingering like an afterimage.”
Seo-jung knew Cha Yoon’s words weren’t a lie. It couldn’t be. That cologne was what he had gifted Cha Yoon on the day he received his first paycheck as an air traffic controller.
Unlike when they were in school, naturally, the time they spent together decreased once Seo-jung started working. This was true even though Cha Yoon hadn’t started working yet at the time.
This made Seo-jung a bit worried. In not too long, Cha Yoon was also scheduled to start working. When that happened, the two would inevitably have to spend more time apart.
Greeting the morning while seeing each other’s faces had been their natural daily routine. At the time, Cha Yoon even had a routine of “burying his nose in Ki Seo-jung’s nape and taking a deep breath as soon as he opened his eyes.” He claimed this was necessary to calm his mind and body and start the day happily.
Given this situation, Seo-jung’s worries only grew. What he thought of then was the cologne he often used. Although he couldn’t go to a foreign land with Cha Yoon, he thought that if Cha Yoon had the cologne, he might feel less lonely even if he woke up alone in an unfamiliar place instead of at home. It was also a gift with a bit of selfishness, hoping Cha Yoon would think of him while smelling the scent during their time apart.
On the day he gave the prepared gift, Seo-jung carefully explained why he had chosen this gift. After quietly listening to everything, Cha Yoon hugged Seo-jung.
‘Actually, the best method would be to shrink Ki Seo-jung and take him with me.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
Smiling as he chided the playful voice, Seo-jung felt Cha Yoon tighten his arms around him.
‘Thank you, I’ll carry it with me well.’
After that, as if keeping his word, Cha Yoon diligently carried the cologne bottle Seo-jung had given him.
What should I do
Smelling the cologne makes me miss you more
This won’t do
Baby, when I get home the day after tomorrow, you have to hug me as soon as you see me
Although messages like these would occasionally fly in, the cologne bottle Seo-jung had gifted never failed to find its place in Cha Yoon’s carrier for the next flight, and the one after that.
One of the two cologne bottles that had been placed as their shared possession disappeared a few years later, after the car accident. Although Seo-jung wanted to maintain everything exactly as it was before the car accident, not wanting to erase traces of Cha Yoon, somehow only the cologne bottle was nowhere to be seen. He thought it had disappeared, but for some reason, it seemed that cologne bottle had made its way to Cha Yoon.
Come to think of it, that wasn’t what was important. The real important fact was that Cha Yoon was using the cologne he had gifted for a date with someone else.
The repeated spraying sound entered his ears. When Cha Yoon had his memories, he used it sparingly, only using it at his work destinations because he found it too precious to waste, but now he was spraying it as if he was pouring it out.
Seo-jung had tried to understand the outfit very similar to what Cha Yoon wore on their first date, even the hair pushed back to reveal his neat forehead. But wasn’t using the cologne he had gifted to go on a date crossing a line?
He knew that Cha Yoon, having lost his memories, had done this unknowingly, but Seo-jung, already too scratched up emotionally, found it difficult to think rationally. He clenched his fist, feeling anger boiling up from within.
“But why are you asking? Do you like the scent? Do you want to spray it too, hyung?”
Oblivious to Seo-jung’s feelings, Cha Yoon tactlessly held out the cologne towards him. His bright expression suggested he was pleased to have found a common interest.
Seo-jung looked down at the all-too-familiar cologne bottle. It was the cologne he used to spray often, gifted with the hope that Cha Yoon would think of him, but after the car accident, he couldn’t bring himself to use it anymore.
“It’s fine, you use it a lot, Cha Yoon.”
“Why? You can really use it too. I like it when we smell the same.”
“I said it’s fine.”
As Seo-jung consistently refused despite Cha Yoon’s repeated urging to use the cologne, Cha Yoon reluctantly backed off.
“Then I’ll leave it here. If you want to spray it, you can. Okay?”
Cha Yoon only stopped talking about the cologne after emphasizing where he was putting it, saying he’d leave it in the most visible place in case Seo-jung changed his mind. A little later, after checking his appearance in the mirror one more time, Cha Yoon tapped Seo-jung’s shoulder.
“Hyung.”
Seo-jung, who had been turning his back to Cha Yoon, not wanting to look at him, reluctantly turned his head.
“I’m about to leave now.”
Is he really reporting even going on a date with someone else? Seo-jung held back from saying “What do you want me to do about it?” and just nodded.
“Leave quickly.”
“Okay. I’ll go first, see you later.”
Cha Yoon waved with his characteristic shy expression before leaving the room.
‘See you later.’ On closer thought, it was a very strange greeting, but perhaps because the previous actions had been so impactful, it didn’t catch Seo-jung’s attention. Seo-jung was focused solely on Cha Yoon disappearing from his sight as quickly as possible.
With that farewell, the door soon opened and closed, letting in a gust of outside air. Finally alone, Seo-jung let out a sigh.
As he raised his head, the problematic cologne bottle caught his eye, as if mocking him. As soon as the cologne bottle entered his sight, the situation from earlier replayed in his mind. Negative emotions welled up again, but he couldn’t stay like this forever.
Let’s get ready. Seo-jung checked the clock on the wall and started moving, turning his back on the cologne bottle.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
