“Don’t, hng, ah! Don’t, huk!”
“Ah, right. Right. Our teacher likes almost getting caught, I remember.”
“N-no, huu, I don’t. Hic.”
“Why? Were you too scared this time? The door was locked securely, why were you so tense, cutie?”
After Tae-seon’s dick, which had been thrusting as if for the finale, pulled out, thick liquid flowed from my sore opening. My eyes were starting to close drowsily.
Click, click, I heard the sound of a lighter wheel turning. Soon, the familiar scent of cigarettes tickled my nose.
“Seongho’s cigarettes taste like shit.”
“…”
“Those guys don’t know what really tastes good.”
Only then did I realize whose unfamiliar cigarette pack and nauseating cigarette scent it was.
* * *
“Jae-yun, man. Hey? You don’t have any issues with me, right?”
“Huh? Ah, no. How could I…”
I quickly filled the empty glass across from me with cold beer and picked up my own glass, which had long since become lukewarm. The senior downed his newly filled glass in one go, while I cautiously watched, merely moistening my lips before setting the glass back down.
“Boss, another bottle of beer here!”
Watching his hand, which should have been pointing straight up to the sky, wobble a couple of times, I pondered how to wrap up this drinking session and how to persuade the senior. All the while fidgeting with my beer glass, which wasn’t even half empty.
‘Jae-yun, are you free today?’
‘Ah, to…day?’
‘Yeah, I have something, on my mind. Is that not okay?’
Honestly, my first reaction to the senior’s proposal was awkwardness rather than concern. I thought of Woo Tae-seon before my after-work schedule.
I was the one most surprised by the unsettling change. Somehow, I found myself looking at the senior’s face impassively. When did I change like this? Had I not noticed because I’d been avoiding gatherings with the senior?
I couldn’t easily turn away from the senior who had specifically sought me out, looking unwell, but more than that, I felt so guilty that I ended up nodding.
So there I was, sitting across from the senior with a grill between us. But after ordering pork belly and downing his glass in one go, instead of sharing his own story, the senior began interrogating me in earnest.
‘Song Jae-yun, be honest with me.’
‘Huh? Me?’
‘You’ve got something troubling you.’
Troubles. I couldn’t say I didn’t have any. Even though I knew the senior wasn’t asking because he’d noticed something specific, my heart sank.
But I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t hand over these complex and strange emotions, these subtle tangles that even I didn’t understand, and ask someone else to unravel them.
‘Suddenly you want to stop carpooling, huh?’
‘That’s…’
‘It’s still far! And you keep distancing yourself from me. I’m really hurt, really hurt!’
I forced a smile. Covering up my stifling thoughts, I laughed normally. I barely managed to deflect, saying it was a misunderstanding, that nothing was wrong and I had no worries.
Fortunately, the senior didn’t seem to suspect me until the end. However, it was a bit awkward that he grumbled for much longer than I had expected, as if he’d been holding it in for days, and that the conclusion somehow shifted to whether I had issues with him.
The senior grabbed my hand firmly. Though it seemed like a solid grip, he still swayed once more.
“Jae-yun, man.”
“Yes, senior.”
Meanwhile, a ring sparkled on my fourth finger. It was the ring that Woo Tae-seon had suddenly dragged me out to buy while we were watching a weekend drama, and I couldn’t return home until he had put it on my finger.
‘Show it off if anyone asks.’
With the alcohol, his voice seemed to whisper distinctly in my ear.
“Talk to me if things get tough.”
“…Okay. I will.”
“I mean it. Talk to me anytime.”
Even as the senior’s tongue twisted and his eyes drooped, he tried to maintain eye contact with me. I knew that the senior wasn’t giving me a knowing look but was choosing his words carefully for my sake. Even without words, I could feel the senior’s kindness.
If the senior knew what was troubling me, his concerned look wouldn’t be the same as it was now. So I couldn’t tell him about being blackmailed by Woo Tae-seon, about getting used to it, about how confusing and perplexing it was. I couldn’t talk about any of it.
“Get home safely, senior!”
“You too, be careful!”
As soon as the taxi door closed on the senior, I got into the next waiting taxi.
Despite my urgency in shouting the destination, we arrived in less than five minutes. It was because we had been drinking near the school, so getting home was quick. Of course, it was still a new home I was struggling to adapt to.
My residence, forcibly relocated by Woo Tae-seon, was quite close to the school. So I no longer needed to suffer through an hour of hellish commuting. In fact, I had already grown accustomed to my delayed wake-up time. Reduced commuting time was an undeniably excellent condition that nobody, not just me, could possibly refuse.
“Keep the change. Thank you!”
Even waiting for the card terminal to process the payment felt urgent. After jumping out of the taxi, I rushed into the elevator, pressed the floor button, and only then checked the time. Still, still okay. I caught my breath.
I don’t know how much I had to watch the clock, the senior, and my glass in turns to part with the senior within the two hours I had promised Woo Tae-seon. During the last 30 minutes, I looked at these three things so alternately that the senior asked if I had something urgent to attend to. But for me, getting home before Woo Tae-seon got angry was more important than feeling embarrassed.
They said it was a new building, and even the elevator was quiet as it ascended. In a place so silent that unless there was a very slight tremor, you wouldn’t know it was moving, I stomped my feet impatiently. Even though my stomping wouldn’t make the elevator pulleys move any faster, I did it out of needless urgency.
“Ah…”
When I reached the living room after quickly walking down the long corridor, I encountered Woo Tae-seon coming in from the balcony to the living room. There was a bitter smell of cigarettes coming from him as he approached, and when he held my face with both hands, I could smell the cool autumn breeze.
I thought he was going to… kiss me. I closed my eyes. His soft, moist lips touched mine very lightly and then pulled away. And seeing the corners of his mouth curling up prettily, I was certain my choice had been right.
“You looked pretty running in.”
Woo Tae-seon had been watching everything I did. So it was good that I ran straight in as soon as I got out of the taxi.
“Did you eat before coming?”
“Yes.”
“Then go wash up.”
He didn’t pick at anything or narrow his eyes. Rather, seeing his smile that curved his eyes beautifully at the corners, I was certain he wasn’t angry. The anxious feeling that had kept me from letting go of that last thread finally eased.
Shhhhh.
I lifted the shower lever a little more to the left than usual. As the warm water pouring from above met my entire body, I felt the effects of alcohol belatedly creeping up.
In the end, when I turned the lever back off, I was actually more tipsy than when I’d entered the house. The warm shower might have relieved my muscle fatigue, but it seemed impossible to ease my liver’s fatigue.
When I came out trying to remember where I had put the hangover remedy I thought I’d bought previously, Woo Tae-seon was reading a book in the living room. He was sitting in a chair where he could meet me as soon as I came out, his legs stretched out long.
I thought he would probably stay overnight again today. Of course, this was no longer particularly surprising.
“Will you rest during the break?”
“My contract ends before the closing ceremony.”
“That’s good. Then shall we go on a trip around that time?”
I was astonished by Woo Tae-seon’s shamelessness, acting as if we would naturally still be together until then. But regardless of the reason, there was no need to ruin his mood that he had somehow elevated. I just nodded.
After rummaging around various places for quite some time, I finally found the hangover remedy in the box where I kept emergency medicines. Perhaps I had classified it there thinking it was also medicine. I smiled wryly.
I poured all the pills that looked like chickpeas into my mouth. What caught my eye by chance in the refrigerator as I was about to take out a bottle of water was bean sprouts in the vegetable drawer.
The thought of refreshing bean sprout soup that naturally came to mind became inexplicably desperate. Should I boil it now before going to bed? It seemed fine since there wasn’t much else to prepare, and it wouldn’t take much time either.
My decision was brief and my action was quick, but after the hangover remedy, this time I needed to find a pot. Only after opening and closing numerous unfamiliar cabinets several times could I finally find a suitable pot.
“Did you drink a lot?”
At that moment, I was pulled back by firm arms wrapping around my waist. Each time the voice near my ear murmured, the chin lightly resting on my shoulder moved with a clicking sound.
“No, it’s for breakfast tomorrow.”
“Don’t bother, it’s too much work. I’ll order something.”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
