#44
“……”
“What?”
It was when Eunhong lifted his head after being called without any words. Jaeha looked straight at Eunhong with a face devoid of any smile.
“I like you.”
Eunhong looked at Jaeha, at a loss for words. His straightforward gaze was examining Eunhong almost obsessively. As their eyes remained locked for a long time, Eunhong noticed Jaeha’s pupils trembling slightly.
Thump. Something heavy fell in his chest, causing a dull ache.
“I like you.”
“…Lee Jaeha.”
“It’s not that I like your scent or anything, I just like you.”
Jaeha, who had been looking straight at Eunhong, finally lowered his eyes. His eyelashes trembled. His feelings, revealed as if unable to hold back a cough, seemed too naked.
“I… you so much…”
“……”
Jaeha felt his chest tighten due to Eunhong’s lack of response. His palms became damp with sweat as he belatedly realized his own cowardice. This wasn’t what he intended to do to someone whose body had changed less than a month ago, to someone who was struggling due to lost memories. He knew that his words, which had flowed out without his realizing, were putting pressure on Eunhong.
When he finally raised his head to face Eunhong, his face was flushed red. His large eyes couldn’t find a place to rest, and his delicate chest was panting with rapid breaths. Jaeha could easily read Eunhong’s thoughts from that expression. Jaeha forced a smile. He raised his hand and gently stroked Eunhong’s face.
“Whoa.”
“Now, let’s…”
“……”
“Clean up, wash up, and go to sleep.”
To Eunhong, who still couldn’t respond, Jaeha whispered in a calm tone that the sun had set. Although his heart was beating fiercely, he didn’t want to corner the unprepared person any further.
“I’ll clean up here, Eunhong, you go to the management office, turn on the boiler, and wash up first.”
Eunhong stood up awkwardly with a dazed face. As he hesitated, Jaeha pushed his back again, leaving him no choice but to turn around. As he was getting off the deck to go to the management office, his knees weakened, and he almost fell.
‘I was surprised.’
Eunhong bit his lip as he walked unsteadily. When he rubbed his face, Jaeha’s pheromones lingering on his hands were intoxicating.
‘…I, I thought he was going to kiss me.’
The pheromones that had rushed into his senses had long since disappeared like a lie. As he recalled the low voice, his face flushed with embarrassment. Eunhong quietly stopped walking and looked back towards where the car was.
The surroundings had already become completely dark. Except for the sound of waves, it was impossible to tell where they were. Like a ball of light floating on a black hole, Jaeha was busily moving around the floating car.
The person who had surprised him by dropping a bomb retreated as quickly as he had advanced. He busied himself with cleaning up as if nothing had happened. He seemed like someone afraid to hear Eunhong’s answer.
To say such things and then just move on like this…
Eunhong slowly moved backward, keeping his eyes on Jaeha. He should have looked this way at least once, but he stubbornly refused to make eye contact.
‘I was too surprised to answer.’
Thinking of the trembling gaze made his heart ache heavily. Eunhong pressed his chest and then fidgeted with his lips. Kiss, his thoughts kept leading to a kiss. He almost reflexively recalled Jaeha’s lips.
“See. It’s not okay…”
Suddenly, the fact that they were isolated in this vast place became vividly apparent. Eunhong found it difficult to conclude what his feelings were and what he should do next. He felt sorry for not being able to answer, but even if he could go back to that moment, he didn’t think he could readily respond.
***
Sunhong might have disparaged himself as a lifelong single, but in truth, Eunhong hadn’t lived such a hopeless single life.
‘To be honest, it’s not that I couldn’t date. I chose not to.’
His cheeks, scrubbed clean after a long hot shower, faintly glowed in the darkness. Eunhong clutched his share of the blanket and pulled it up to his neck. Lying alone in the dark made him feel a bit chilly.
Until high school, he considered it a separate matter since he was young. In his freshman year of college, he had severely broken his ankle. He broke it while walking normally, twisting it – this incident actually helped him become close with Jaeha again easily. On the day he went to school to take the final exam with that hideous green cast, unable to even wash his hair, some squid-like guy, thinking he was an alpha, gave him a note. Saying he fell in love at first sight.
Whenever he woke up after dozing off in the library, there would always be coffee and a memo, and because so many guys mistook him for an omega, Shim AD, who was a senior at the school at the time, deliberately spread rumors that Ban Eunhong was a beta. After the senior graduated, Eunhong got a phenotype certificate issued and kept a photo of it on his phone. That image was still on Eunhong’s phone. He should probably delete it now.
There were quite a few people who followed him while gaming, and there was even a guild leader who came up from the countryside saying he wanted to meet on Christmas. There was a time when two juniors fought over him, pulling each other’s hair, and for some reason… Come to think of it, some crazy bastard even threatened self-harm if Eunhong wouldn’t date him.
The number of times someone approached him on buses or subways was too many to bother mentioning. Whenever Eunhong was annoyed, Jaeha would always offer his car, and refusing that was also a task.
In short, it wasn’t that he couldn’t date, he chose not to. He wasn’t so clueless about relationships that he didn’t understand what feelings Jaeha had for him or with what heart he said he liked him.
It’s just, just that he was a bit timid. Extremely cautious.
Sunhong had said about him, ‘Ham is not someone who even taps a stone bridge before crossing it.’
He was just cautious, and only a little bit scared…
He was just afraid of changing relationships and taking a step inward. Moreover, Jaeha was a friend more precious than anyone. If he had to choose between a fleeting romance and a lifelong friendship, the latter was much safer.
So, the reason he couldn’t answer that confession earlier was…
So…
Eunhong raised his body from lying flat and glanced out the window. The outside, now completely night, was frighteningly pitch black. The light leaking from the management office seemed strangely far away.
“He’s taking a really long time to wash…”
Earlier, Eunhong had washed until his skin shone, determined to wash away all the embarrassing pheromones that had leaked from his body. When he returned after washing for a long time, the area around the car was neatly cleaned up. It was so clean that there was no trace of them having eaten. And…
Jaeha, who had held his hand, acted flirtatiously saying he was cold, and said he liked him, had a clean face as if it was all a lie. It had already been about an hour since he told Eunhong to go to sleep first and then swiftly went off to the management office with his toiletries.
“No, this isn’t because I’m inexperienced in dating…”
Eunhong slapped his cheeks, which started to turn red reflexively as soon as he thought of Jaeha. Isn’t this situation awkward and ticklish for anyone? Even if it were that bastard Sunhong instead of me, he’d be too ticklish to bear it… Who could be nonchalant in this situation? Eunhong cried out inwardly, squeezing his eyes shut.
Just then, the back door flung open and cold air rushed in. Along with the wind came Jaeha’s pheromones and the scent of shampoo. Startled, Eunhong kept his eyes tightly closed and pretended to be asleep. Although his hand gripping the blanket tensed and the tip of his nose tickled.
“Is Eunhong asleep?”
As he pretended to sleep with his eyes closed, he could clearly feel Jaeha climbing into the car. The subtle swaying of the car body and the flickering light caused shadows to dance across his eyelids.
With a soft click, the back door closed and the air gradually became cozy. Jaeha’s scent intensified. Eunhong attributed the warmth in his cheeks to the air.
It seemed like he was approaching and lying down next to him, rustling. The sound of the blanket rustling, quiet and deep breathing, something crinkling, and then it became quiet.
“……”
“…Did I wake you? Sorry.”
It was a mistake to slightly open one eye after it had been quiet for a while. Their eyes met directly, so he couldn’t pretend anymore, and Eunhong had no choice but to sit up. When Eunhong’s eyes fell on the small device Jaeha was fiddling with, Jaeha smiled brightly as if he had been waiting for it.
“Secretary Kim told me to turn this on before sleeping.”
The palm-sized white device was a carbon monoxide detector.
“Secretary Kim is really thoughtful.”
“He sure is.”
Jaeha searched for the sunrise time and set an alarm. When he turned off the lights and lay down, pitch-black darkness descended. The only outline was faintly provided by the single yellow streetlight in front of the management office. Eunhong blinked to get used to the darkness.
The car was very spacious, but it was tight with the two of them lying down. Especially Lee Jaeha, true to his alpha nature, his shoulders easily crossed the center line of the mat. Eunhong couldn’t tell him not to cross the line like when they were kids, so he turned his body and lay on his side. Naturally, he ended up facing Jaeha’s profile.
The darkness seemed to wash away the awkwardness. As they lay quietly, Jaeha suddenly chuckled.
