#51
“Yes, I need to know now too…. Were you skilled at controlling it from the beginning?”
“What do you think?”
Jaeha rested his arm on the back of the sofa and propped his chin. He turned completely to face Eunhong. His crooked smile seemed to deepen, and suddenly his pheromones spread out. The scent was so strong it created the illusion of being visible. Eunhong flinched and moved back.
“Your pheromones. The stimulation is intense.”
“But you don’t dislike it, it seems.”
“It feels harmful to my body.”
It’s bad for my heart. Eunhong pressed his chest firmly and frowned. His heart was beating erratically as if having an arrhythmia.
Jaeha smiled, wrinkling the bridge of his nose. As he silently watched Eunhong’s flushed fingertips pressing against his chest, he suddenly became curious about his likes and dislikes. Do you like my pheromones as much as I like you? A wild impulse surged to release his pheromones to their limit and watch Eunhong crumble and melt. While Jaeha was gauging his own desires, Eunhong removed the noisily beeping watch and rubbed his wrist.
“You said you disliked all other omega pheromones. That they were too painful…”
Jaeha nodded silently. Eunhong asked with reddening cheeks.
“Does that sensitivity vary from person to person? I’ve only experienced your alpha pheromones. I don’t know about AD’s pheromones…. Maybe I’m just very insensitive?”
“…”
“Do all alpha pheromones feel like yours…?”
“Are you curious? About how it feels?”
All this talk was just rotten curiosity. True to his documentary-loving nature, he went on rambling about biological obsolescence and approaches. Jaeha looked down at Eunhong with a coldly subdued expression.
“No, I… My body… can’t function…”
Eunhong tried to continue speaking but fortunately closed his mouth at the right moment. He almost spoke without thinking again. He almost asked if it was normal that his body only got excited by him.
“Your body, what function? What function are you curious about?”
Though Jaeha didn’t move an inch, Eunhong felt pressured and backed away. Suddenly the living room temperature seemed to rise. Sweat formed on his legs where they touched the sofa, sticking to the leather.
Just being looked at made him feel like his clothes were being stripped off, and he fidgeted with his collar unnecessarily. Eunhong swallowed hard. Is this overwhelming feeling what alphas are like? His shoulders hunched involuntarily.
“…You.”
Jaeha looked at Eunhong with a slightly irritated expression. He breathed heavily for a while like someone barely restraining something, then spoke in a choked voice, pulling in his chin.
“You don’t know. What alpha pheromones are really like.”
“…”
“…”
Silence fell. His rapidly beating heart gradually calmed down. It was because Jaeha’s pheromones were subsiding. As the tense atmosphere relaxed, Eunhong…
No… I’m curious because I don’t know.
He felt unreasonably wronged. Questions rose out of defiance, but he didn’t voice them. He had enough sense not to say that much. As he just blinked his eyes, Jaeha sighed and picked up Eunhong’s watch from the table, handing it to him.
“Take it. And take your medicine.”
“Okay.”
“I’m… going to bed first.”
“Alright.”
Eunhong silently watched Jaeha’s back as he headed to his room. Something seemed to gnaw at his nerves at the sight of Jaeha’s seemingly drooping shoulders.
Working on putting together a portfolio for job search sites, it was already the middle of the night before he knew it. He needed to attract projects with good pay. Eunhong dropped artificial tears into his strained eyes and pressed his brow firmly. His shoulders were stiff and his head felt heavy from staring at the monitor for so long without moving.
Eunhong got up from his seat, cracking his neck with a pop. He was hungry, having drunk more water than eaten for dinner. He also habitually felt the need to munch on something at night.
As he was heading towards the stairs leading to the living room, he suddenly thought of Jaeha. Eunhong poked his head out over the railing to check below. The first floor was dark and quiet. Did he really go to bed that early? Lee Jaeha could very well have such a proper lifestyle. Eunhong shrugged and headed towards the kitchen.
The refrigerator was huge, filling an entire wall, but there wasn’t much suitable for a late-night snack. It was mostly empty except for health foods and ingredients. Besides, although Jaeha had told him to make himself at home, Eunhong still felt awkward about rummaging around. He turned away without even thinking of opening the many kitchen cabinets. He was planning to go to the convenience store instead.
Just then, a door opened from the dark end of the hallway and Jaeha walked out. He quietly closed his room door and slowly approached Eunhong. He didn’t seem surprised to see Eunhong out, as if he knew he was there. Jaeha was rubbing his eyes, trying to adjust to the light.
“What are you looking for?”
His voice was as composed as ever, but his eyes were slightly red. Eunhong turned from his path to go up and get his wallet.
“I’m going to the convenience store. Want me to buy you anything?”
“…Hmm.”
Jaeha’s reaction was a bit slow, as if he had just woken up. His face was clear of expression, emotions seemingly consumed by sleep. Eunhong waited patiently for an answer. Jaeha stood for a while, clearing his throat with his hand on the nape of his neck, then suggested,
“Then shall we go together?”
He proposed a walk.
The air was cold but there was no wind, so it wasn’t too chilly. The breath drawn through the nose was refreshing. The sky was dark and the streets were quiet. Eunhong walked with his arms folded. Jaeha was following slowly, one step behind.
The busy daytime streets had disappeared as if it was all a lie, leaving only tranquility. Intending to walk a bit since they were already out, they aimed for a convenience store further away. They entered a landscaped area with trees densely planted, beautifully arranged beyond the building. Jaeha quickened his pace to catch up and wrapped his arm around Eunhong’s shoulders. When Eunhong glanced up with round eyes, Jaeha added an unconvincing excuse – “It’s cold” – as if embarrassed.
As they reached a fork in the road, a colorful sign on a brick wall caught their eye. Eunhong exclaimed “Oh!” and Jaeha’s gaze followed the direction of his pointing finger.
“Isn’t this the kindergarten we almost attended?”
“Hmm…, I don’t think so.”
“The name is exactly the same. The color of the sign is the same too, isn’t it?”
“‘Dream Garden’ and yellow are very common combinations. Besides, it wasn’t in this neighborhood. It should be closer to the main house where grandfather is.”
When Jaeha cut him off firmly, Eunhong pouted dejectedly.
“Jaeha, do you remember? We even got matching kindergarten uniforms, but after going for just one day, you stubbornly refused to attend anymore, saying you didn’t like the color of the clothes, and later you cried…”
“I didn’t cry. I just said I wouldn’t go. You’re the one who probably cried. Saying you wanted to go.”
Jaeha denied it with an amused face. He insists he never cried. Eunhong tilted his head.
“I clearly remember you saying you didn’t like the teacher there either, and on the first day you got into a fight with some kid, got scolded, and cried your eyes out. You even got a bruise on your face…”
At Eunhong’s words, Jaeha burst into laughter. His hand on Eunhong’s shoulder tightened, giving the illusion of being embraced. The sound of laughter resonating in his chest was pleasant to hear. Eunhong felt a tickle in his heart for some reason.
“The teacher split our class, didn’t she? How could I stand seeing that kid holding your hand and going into the Star Class? And you, thoughtlessly following along. It was so frustrating.”
“…Was that what happened?”
“Yeah, the teacher just wouldn’t listen to reason.”
As if a child’s attempt at negotiation would have been entertained by the teacher. Eunhong chuckled at the serious tone. Come to think of it, he remembered Jaeha being particularly sensitive about class divisions. Elementary school for 6 years, middle school for 3 years. Strangely, the memory of being in the same class for all 9 years came flooding back. Why didn’t I think it was odd back then? Eunhong’s eyes widened.
“Now that I think about it, how did we end up in the same class all through school?”
“It was a private school. Money solved everything.”
“That’s crazy. Did that really happen?”
“You didn’t know that until now? You’re so slow…. We did a lot more than that, want to know what else? Are you curious?”
I think I can guess what else… Anyway, if his school days were tainted with corruption, he didn’t particularly want to know. Eunhong shook his head hurriedly. No, I absolutely don’t want to know! Jaeha, who had been smiling non-stop, pulled Eunhong’s head close and pressed his lips firmly against his temple. The action was so casual that Eunhong accepted the skinship without much resistance.
“I’m joking. It wasn’t much. I did well without any grade manipulation or answer sheet tampering. And your report card wasn’t exactly beautiful enough to have been manipulated.”
“…That’s true.”
Such an honest guy. For someone so capable, did he really need to bribe for class assignments because of difficult interpersonal relationships? Eunhong pouted and responded dully. The once dark path was now brightening. It was as bright as day thanks to the nearby convenience store sign.
