#45
“It’s not about being considerate. If you and I die here together, we’ll be on the front page of tomorrow’s news.”
“Why would you say such a thing…”
“Third generation of Han Jung Group. Suicide pact with an omega. It’s much easier to bring you a toy than to deal with that.”
“That’s a horrible thing to say.”
Eunhong shuddered. It was so plausible that it gave him goosebumps. When he muttered “crazy bastard,” Jaeha laughed out loud, finding something amusing. Eunhong couldn’t help but laugh weakly too, feeling like their mischievous eyes had met in the darkness.
“If we want to see the sunrise, we need to sleep soon. Close your eyes, Bunhong.”
“……”
“Don’t look at me.”
Jaeha, lying straight with his eyes calmly closed, looked like a sculpture.
As Eunhong wriggled to change position, their shoulders touched. He could have ignored it and turned away, but for some reason, he wanted to stay in contact. Eunhong frowned, then… ignoring his own strange, fluctuating feelings, he just closed his eyes. After a while, Jaeha called out in a low voice.
“…Eunhong.”
Is it strange to feel odd when he calls my name properly…? Eunhong opened his eyes drowsily. He thought he must not be in his right mind.
“……”
“Are you cold?”
“No…”
He tried to say he wasn’t cold, but his voice cracked. Eunhong changed his mind.
“Yeah, a little cold.”
Eunhong snuggled slightly towards Jaeha. A cozy scent rose from the mat warmed by Jaeha’s body heat.
Jaeha, who had frozen for a moment, seemed to hesitate about what to do, then awkwardly made room and lay on his side. They ended up in an awkward position, neither quite using arms as pillows nor not.
Jaeha hesitantly raised his hand that had been hovering somewhere behind Eunhong’s head and patted Eunhong’s back. Perhaps thinking Eunhong was really cold, he layered his own blanket over Eunhong’s body and even lightly hugged him.
“Let’s sleep. If we don’t sleep soon, we’ll miss the sunrise and be tired tomorrow.”
“I don’t mind if we miss the sunrise.”
“……”
“…I’ll sleep, my eyes are closed.”
“Good, that’s a good Eunhong.”
As Eunhong closed his mouth at Jaeha’s patting, the car became so quiet that only the sound of breathing could be heard. Only the sound of waves and night wind brushing against the car roof echoed faintly.
Around the time the rhythmic patting hand started to slow down.
“Are you asleep?” Eunhong asked softly.
“I am.”
“No, you’re not.”
“I said I am.”
“Are you really asleep?”
“……”
When Jaeha didn’t answer, Eunhong raised his head. His eyes, now accustomed to the darkness, easily read Jaeha’s expression. Jaeha slightly furrowed his brow, then suddenly moved closer. Eunhong, who had initiated the contact, was greatly startled when Jaeha actually moved. He involuntarily flinched back, but Jaeha’s hand covered Eunhong’s eyes. The large hand covering half his face was incredibly warm.
“Stop looking at me. If you keep this up, I’ll really get angry. I can’t take responsibility.”
Eunhong made a small whimpering sound. Jaeha’s pheromones seemed to suddenly become stronger. Eunhong’s eyelashes fluttered at the scent emanating from the hand covering his nose bridge. As he exhaled a long sigh, Jaeha’s lips touched his forehead and then pulled away. Along with a shallow breath, there seemed to be a faint curse mixed in.
Lying like that for a while, Eunhong felt languid, as if intoxicated. He was completely immersed in the warmth covering his eyes and the alpha’s pheromones enveloping his body.
The pheromones, pleasant enough to make him lightheaded, felt even more vivid as tension was released. Eunhong felt his throat go dry and moistened his lips with his tongue. Due to the haziness, words came out unfiltered. He babbled like someone drunk with sleep.
“…Mm, Jaeha’s pheromones are really nice.”
“You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?”
“If this is what life is like for secondary gender people, betas are really missing out…”
Eunhong muttered in a voice heavy with sleep. Jaeha discreetly clenched his molars. This little rabbit doesn’t even know what situation he’s in…
“That’s because you don’t know yet.”
Eunhong doesn’t know. How Jaeha has endured, how he’s lived avoiding things he dislikes. How he’s endured without doing what’s considered essential for alphas. …How he’s restrained himself from taking what he wants so badly.
But he didn’t want to let Eunhong know how difficult it was. He just wanted Eunhong to feel only good and pleasant things. He hoped Eunhong wouldn’t have any painful memories related to his gender.
Jaeha held Eunhong tightly, still covering his eyes. As if hiding from his own desires, he paradoxically pulled Eunhong into his arms.
He wished Eunhong would quickly remember what happened that day. He imagined Eunhong remembering everything and accepting him as if it were nothing. On the other hand, part of him also wanted Eunhong to never find out. A vain hope that Eunhong would never know how he had held onto him like a beast when his reason was clouded. The thought of Eunhong being hurt or ultimately unable to accept the truth when he found out everything made him feel like he would go mad with fear.
Throughout the long night, Jaeha couldn’t sleep a wink. He finally dozed off briefly towards dawn. Eunhong was in the same situation, so neither of them heard the alarm. When they finally opened their eyes, the sun was high in the sky.
When they woke up, they both acted as if they had spent an ordinary night, not exchanging any words, but feeling awkward even looking at each other’s eyes until they finished packing up the beach and left the sea. In the end, Eunhong kept his mouth shut the entire way home and ended up falling asleep defenseless in the passenger seat.
***
The first thing Eunhong saw when he opened his eyes was a pure white sheet. His eyes felt sticky as if sand had gotten in them, but there was no pain. As he slowly sat up, he noticed a large mirror filling the wall next to the bed. It was Eunhong himself sitting on the bed, but somehow it felt awkward, like watching a video someone else had taken.
‘Eunhong…’
He heard someone calling his name, as if through water-filled ears. He couldn’t hear the rest clearly. Eunhong got up, floundering, and searched for his clothes to put on. He was momentarily distracted by the soft feel of the rug between his toes before slipping his feet into his shoes.
His body felt suspiciously light. As if in a trance, Eunhong staggered towards the front door. Before opening the door to step out, he thought he heard his name called once more…
‘Eunhong.’
“……”
“Eunhong?”
“……”
“We’re here.”
Jaeha gently grasped Eunhong’s hand. At that, Eunhong shuddered once. He barely opened his eyes, which seemed glued shut. As he continued to be unable to distinguish between dream and reality for a while, Jaeha reached out and brushed Eunhong’s forehead. The hand touching his face, the scent, felt cool.
After staring blankly into the distance, he finally slowly turned his head to see Jaeha’s smiling face. Ah, I was dreaming. Eunhong blinked slowly.
“We’re here, Bunhong.”
“……”
Eunhong couldn’t quite return to reality and kept running his hand through his hair. Although his eyes were clearly looking at the wall of the underground parking lot, he felt dazed as if seeing something else.
‘It was definitely some kind of hotel. Have I ever been to such a place…?’
“Eunhong?”
‘That voice…’
Eunhong, who had been looking at Jaeha, slightly contorted his face.
“…Huh? Oh… I’m a bit out of it. Sorry. Are you tired? Should we switch?”
“We’re already here…”
At Jaeha’s words, Eunhong looked around as if hearing it for the first time. He seemed to have just now realized they had entered the underground parking lot. It had been strange that he slept like the dead the entire way… Jaeha worriedly furrowed his brow and touched Eunhong’s forehead. With his other hand, he massaged Eunhong’s nape.
“Are you not feeling well? It is about time for your medication…”
He carefully examined Eunhong’s expression.
“Oh… um… medication. Right, that’s right. Medication…”
Eunhong pushed away Jaeha’s hand and fumbled to take out his medication from the glove compartment. His face color changed dramatically in a short time, turning pale white then red, as if he really wasn’t feeling well. Jaeha stopped Eunhong’s hand as he tried to pour the pills into his mouth without water.
“Take them after we go up. I said we’re here, didn’t I?”
“Oh, should I? I guess it’s not urgent…”
“Maybe we shouldn’t have gone camping. It hasn’t been long since you manifested… What if you catch a cold?”
“…Manifested.”
That’s right, I manifested. Jaeha looked quizzically at Eunhong as he mumbled. The current Eunhong was very strange. He seemed oddly flustered and out of it.
“Are you feeling really unwell?”
Eunhong lightly brushed away Jaeha’s hand as it approached his face again.
“…I’m not made of paper. You don’t need to worry that much.”
The tips of Eunhong’s ears were red as he got out of the car after giving Jaeha that slightly reproachful remark. Does he really have a fever? Jaeha sent a text to Professor Choi asking him to stop by the house, then quickly caught up with Eunhong, who seemed to be staggering for some reason.
As soon as they entered the house, Jaeha stopped Eunhong once more as he tried to take his medication. The reason was that Professor Choi was bringing new medication, so they should wait for him to examine Eunhong first. Eunhong agreed and was about to go wash up when Jaeha followed him with an anxious face.
“Are you sure you’re okay? Can you manage to wash up?”
“…Yeah. I’m fine.”
Eunhong’s responses had been oddly delayed since waking up.
