#091
Humans are animals weak to visual stimuli, so even when we know something is fake, we’re still captivated by what we see. It was the same for Gyo-ha. Being only human, he was startled when the system window appeared with Hwi-kyung’s face.
He had thought that since he was more of a subculture expert than Jung Hwi-kyung, it would appear in a more fantastical form, not necessarily a system UI. But like this, even knowing it was the system window, he couldn’t treat it carelessly.
“Really, of all things…”
Of course, looking closely, the appearance of Hwi-kyung that the system window had stolen was different from the real Jung Hwi-kyung in many ways. Gyo-ha, having already experienced touching various parts of Hwi-kyung, quickly noticed the differences.
Having a good eye for detail helped in situations like this. No matter how godlike the system window was, it couldn’t perfectly mimic the position of moles on a human body or minor habits. The fake Jung Hwi-kyung in front of him lacked the small brown mole above the collarbone or the faint scar on the ring finger of the left hand.
Even without such minute details, the appearance created by the system window looked too healthy compared to the real one. A Jung Hwi-kyung without dark circles… It was like a steamed bun without filling or takoyaki without octopus.
“Isn’t there a lack of sincerity in this rendering?”
“What?”
“Hwi-kyung doesn’t look like that.”
“…”
“To begin with, he looks too healthy.”
Naturally, as it wasn’t the same person, the arrogant expression didn’t suit Hwi-kyung either. Jung Hwi-kyung always had a tired, exhausted face with a fundamentally contemptuous expression. Especially in front of Gyo-ha, at some point he stopped trying to hide his weariness of people.
The fake Jung Hwi-kyung was closer to the system window’s idea. Gyo-ha couldn’t believe that something not even human was his rival in love.
But what was most absurd was that this non-human rival was interpreting and reconstructing Jung Hwi-kyung as it pleased. Our Hwi-kyung isn’t that healthy, you know? He’s always crying and not in his right mind, you know? What do you know!
The system window must have observed Jung Hwi-kyung longer than him, so how could it render him so poorly? Gyo-ha’s surprise quickly turned to irritation. Why was something that didn’t even know Hwi-kyung well clinging to him and causing such trouble?
Lee Gyo-ha, pushing aside some worry and hesitation, reached out towards the system window that had taken Hwi-kyung’s form. It was surprisingly docile as Gyo-ha grabbed it. The end of the red thread tied to his pinky finger burned as it held onto the system window.
The system window seemed surprised when Gyo-ha suddenly grabbed it. There wasn’t a dramatic change in expression, but because it appeared with Hwi-kyung’s face, it was easier to understand what it was thinking than when it was formless.
The system window seemed to have weakened after forcibly crossing over to the fifteenth iteration. After all, it was strange that its power remained intact after granting Ji-ae’s wish and now Hwi-kyung’s, when it used to just grant wishes to stray cats and steal bodies.
If it couldn’t be completely eliminated, now was the right time to detach it. Gyo-ha intuitively realized this fact. Though he had jumped in partly on impulse, this was the only chance to drive it away.
Throughout holding onto it, he felt electricity flowing as if shaking hands with Hwi-kyung for the first time. The place where Gyo-ha’s hand touched turned red. It seemed that regardless of its form, it took damage when Gyo-ha touched it.
“Stop interfering anymore.”
Just as the Hamchorombatang font had been mercilessly broken, the arm part that Gyo-ha had grabbed disappeared with a poof. The system window that appeared in human form was a bit more grotesque than when it was a system UI.
Perhaps an ordinary person couldn’t have endured this scene. But Gyo-ha was a bit far from ‘ordinary’. When the system window in Hwi-kyung’s form lost an arm from his touch, he thought: This seems doable.
As if sensing that thought, it pushed Gyo-ha away with its remaining arm and ran out of the officetel. Gyo-ha had no real choice. Either stand there stupidly or follow it. If he had to choose between these two options, the latter was obviously the right choice.
Although he didn’t know by what principle he could exert physical force on the system window, the flame that had started from the red thread continued to burn. Because of this, his right hand that had grabbed the system window was burning, but if the held part cracked or disappeared, it seemed possible to grab and eliminate the system window.
As soon as he stepped out of the bedroom door, the space that had been an officetel twisted strangely again. Gyo-ha reflexively looked around.
Back to the first encounter. The scene passes where it, having stolen a stray cat’s body, scratches young Hwi-kyung’s hand, and Hwi-kyung doesn’t show the wound to Ji-ae.
From then on, Hwi-kyung’s deaths were repeated countless times. Ji-ae went mad with her son dying frequently and time continuously rewinding. She sometimes cried alone, and Hwi-kyung secretly watched his mother. While doing so, he suspected that all of this might be his fault.
It was a reasonable suspicion, but not one a young child should have. But young Hwi-kyung was constantly plagued by anxiety. The feeling that everything was because of him didn’t easily disappear.
And so, Hwi-kyung gradually became more mature. He acted beyond his age, and even without anyone taking care of him, he had no complaints. He didn’t even think he was unhappy. The adults around praised the well-behaved child. This child is so mature. Ji-ae must enjoy raising her son… Hwi-kyung grew up quickly, nourished by such words.
Peers who didn’t know Hwi-kyung’s family circumstances either envied him for monopolizing the teachers’ praise or hovered around trying to befriend him. But Hwi-kyung couldn’t become close to anyone. He had grown up too quickly, while those around him were still childlike.
Jung Hwi-kyung had no ‘good place’. Living with Ok-ja after his parents’ divorce was somewhat okay, but even that wasn’t a good environment. Ok-ja loved Hwi-kyung but had nothing, and was sick and old. All she could give Hwi-kyung was emotional support.
After entering university, as if by agreement, all support was cut off. There was no contact from Ji-ae, whether she was alive or dead, and Hwi-kyung’s father appealed to his emotions, saying he had a new family now and to never contact him again.
Hwi-kyung remained silent at the words, “If you just keep quiet, a whole family can be at peace, why do you have to cause problems?” Ok-ja said, “He’s still your father, forgive him.” Hwi-kyung forcibly forgave his father after hearing this. He didn’t want Ok-ja to suffer by getting between him and his father. In return, his father got Hwi-kyung an old villa. It was a bad deal.
There was no parking space, hot water rarely came out, and sensitive neighbors pestered Hwi-kyung. But isn’t it better than nothing? Isn’t it okay since he’s not sleeping on the streets?
Hwi-kyung couldn’t decide whether to call this ‘unhappiness’ or not. There were too many people in the world more unfortunate than him. There’s no one without a story, and everyone lives in their own hell.
This level of hell is nothing. Even people who say pain is absolute measure the scale of misfortune relatively.
Someone like Jung Hwi-kyung is in a ‘bearable hell’. People unanimously said: Hey, someone like you isn’t even having a hard time. Why are you being so weak? In a world like this, who doesn’t go through that much hardship?
Instead of empathy and comfort, mockery and ridicule followed. I heard Manager Jung’s parents divorced. Oh, that’s too bad. What to do? I heard he lives alone with his grandmother? Haha, what a shame. If only his family background was okay, he’d be perfect husband material. But he is filial, unlike people these days.
But what’s the use? There are so many people with better conditions than Manager Jung out there!
Everyone talked about Hwi-kyung with smiling faces. If he felt uncomfortable in that situation, Hwi-kyung was judged as someone lacking social skills, and if he forced a smile and got through it, people would either pity or look down on him.
Jung Hwi-kyung really wanted to quit everything. While others said if you endure that moment it will pass, he had to repeat the same hell over and over again. Wherever he went, places where people gathered showed similar patterns.
And now, Gyo-ha was standing in the middle of Hwi-kyung’s hell. His first job after being discharged from the military and submitting his employment papers exploited Hwi-kyung without pay, and the insurance company called day and night trying to save on compensation. In the end, Hwi-kyung got through situations with “I’m sorry” and “I understand.”
Ok-ja, who never said a word about being sick, was hospitalized with late-stage stomach cancer, and the doctor emphasized the possibility that the elderly patient might not wake up after entering surgery under general anesthesia.
Now Hwi-kyung had to take responsibility for everything alone. All of this was overwhelming, but there was no other way. He had to work. A better place, a better job, better…
But where exactly is this better place? What if there’s no end to this?
When such questions started to arise, the system window whispered. There will be when you move on to the next. If you get a new qualification, if you learn another skill, if you can speak multiple languages… Maybe this time.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
