99
I Heard It
When I asked Sebastian if he was so elegant that Layer couldn’t even say a word, just nodded his head and shook hands before politely retreating, he looked bewildered. He held my cheeks with both hands, looked into my eyes for a moment, and burst out laughing.
“Why are you laughing?”
“You… sometimes I think you’ve been around in the industry for a long time, but then…”
He couldn’t finish his sentence. I realized from his attitude that I had said something ridiculous and funny, but he didn’t tell me exactly what part of my words he found absurd. Instead, he kissed my lips. In the back seat where we were riding alone, without Nakaban or Kouri, as he bit and sucked my lips, I quickly erased the earlier incident from my mind with a ‘who cares’ attitude and climbed on top of Sebastian.
“You…”
As I said that one word and looked at Sebastian’s face, he was smiling. Unlike usual, his provocative smile was mesmerizing.
How does he… God, lead us not into temptation… No, fuck it, I’ll go to hell. That’ll do!
When I grabbed Sebastian’s collar and kissed him, his hand roughly grabbed my hair. Ah, I like this too. Sebastian is actually quite rough. When he acts fierce, I see the bottom of the ‘elegant Sebastian’. It’s quite thrilling because I’m clearly the only one who can see it. With that Lee Shin-yeon or whatever, it seemed like they just moped around and ended things, so I must be the only one.
When our tongues intertwine, it sends shivers down my spine. Excitement rose in an instant. Is it okay to do this in the back seat with a bodyguard driving? In my excitement-clouded mind, it was hazy whether this was something we shouldn’t do or could do. Then my lip was bitten hard.
“Focus, before I take you right here.”
Sure, why not.
We were fighting for dominance, putting strength into our tongues to suck each other, so our tongues weren’t properly intertwined. Suddenly, I was reminded of oral sex. These days, I often suck Sebastian’s thing too, and it’s similar to the kiss we’re doing now. Intertwining my tongue with something big and hard, doing something like a kiss. Sebastian prefers me kissing his genitals more than me putting it in my mouth and sucking. To be precise, he seems to enjoy watching it while I do it. Ah, maybe he enjoys seeing me get excited while doing it.
“It’s like, doing a blowjob.”
When I muttered, he laughed. It was a fierce laugh that I rarely see except at times like this.
“You, don’t even, know how, to do a blowjob.”
“Why? Like this,”
I intertwined his tense tongue this way and that, and whispered.
“When I do this, you like it.”
“What I like, is you, coming, while doing that.”
“I didn’t come.”
“You did. These days you even wet your back. While sucking mine.”
We did it last night too. There were few nights when we didn’t have sex. I liked sex, and so did Sebastian. It was enjoyable to stick to each other in the same bed every night, licking each other’s dirty, secret, clean, and precious things, seeing the bottom and being pulled up to heaven. Even somewhat perverted acts were fully acceptable between us. After all, Sebastian is a control freak pervert too.
Suddenly remembering what Sebastian did to me last night, I grabbed his neck. As his neck was grabbed while kissing, he laughed luxuriously. He knows what I’m going to do. It’s what he does to me every night.
I choked his neck. Lightly. Not enough to completely stop his breathing, but enough to make it difficult. I could see him gasping and going crazy. He reached out and pulled me in, digging deeper. More, more, more into my mouth. He didn’t care whether his neck was being choked or not. I could feel my hand gradually applying more pressure, but he didn’t mind. It seemed like he wouldn’t care even if he died like this.
In the end, I was the one who let go. Immediately, he grabbed my neck. He choked me right away. The moment my neck was choked, what I felt was ecstasy. Maybe because he chokes me every time he ejaculates, now when my neck is choked, my back tightens up too.
“Do you want to kill me?”
He asked with a happy face, which was strange and cute.
“No, I want to bury all the other bastards alive except you.”
At my words, Sebastian smiled even more happily. Smiling so prettily at times like this is really perverse. Ah, I think that’s why I like you more. No, actually, I like it when you smile like this, and your fingers choking my neck are pretty, and even when you cry thinking about your unrequited first love, it was cute. I like you. I don’t know where or when it started.
Sebastian asked.
“Have I ever told you I love you?”
Hearing the words “I love you” while being choked feels somewhat strange and dangerous. I giggled while feeling my breath being cut off. Sebastian gave me sweet kisses as much as he choked my neck. It’s sweet, so sweet. What need is there for alcohol or drugs? Here is such a perfect addictive fluid.
If tested, I’d probably be diagnosed as an addict. I don’t know what I’m addicted to, though.
“You haven’t.”
People want to hear the words “I love you”. I think that’s normal. We all want assurance because the world is too irregular and we are all too weak to fight against it.
But it’s strange.
I don’t particularly want that from you. Not even the words “I love you”. I know you love me and that makes me happy, but even if a day comes when you don’t love me, even if that makes me sad, I don’t think it can change something fundamental.
Your loveliness.
The fact that I love you.
Such fundamental emotions, whose origin and beginning I can’t pinpoint, won’t change.
That part was a bit heartrending. While Sebastian’s love made me so happy and joyful, realizing that my love would grow even without his love made my heart ache a little at this moment. It was a bittersweet feeling.
I cupped Sebastian’s cheeks and kissed his lips. With all my heart, like a knight kissing a king. And I whispered.
“But I think I’ve heard it.”
And then it was kisses. A sea of kisses with no room for sex. We were happily and helplessly swept away.
*
Layer tried his best to bluff, but from the moment Layer appeared as Canaris’s spokesperson, I started giving weight to Parke’s words. I didn’t completely believe that Canaris spies remained in the Security Bureau, but when Layer showed up with only Rebecca Dagoba missing, my belief naturally grew. It was as firm a symbol as the moment people who saw water turn into wine started believing in Jesus.
The fact that all the members were exactly the same as last time except for Rebecca Dagoba being absent meant several things.
First, the spy within the Security Bureau informed Canaris that the Security Bureau had detected Rebecca Dagoba’s existence.
Second, if they were going to exclude Rebecca Dagoba, changing all the security personnel would have been less suspicious. But Canaris didn’t do that. Or couldn’t do that. This means Canaris currently doesn’t have enough manpower to replace Layer’s surveillance personnel.
Third, Layer was already very tired of the pressure. Honestly, I thought Layer’s whining throughout the meeting was his strategy. Of course, I couldn’t know what he was aiming for, but I thought he was plotting something. And I thought Nakaban’s anger also had an intention I couldn’t understand. Weren’t they actually exchanging sharp opinions under the surface while pretending to fight? Throwing metaphors laden with meaning upon meaning? But the next day, Nakaban said:
“I thought so at first too, but as I listened, he was just whining. I don’t know what he’s doing, making people sit there when we’re so busy.”
“He really whined without any intention?”
“There was an intention. He was sending a signal to you, Schnieke, asking to be saved because he’s having a hard time.”
Nakaban shook his head. He downed the fresh fruit juice Anya gave him in one gulp and muttered with a bored face.
“He should think about what he’s done. What does he mean, save him again.”
“But wasn’t it interesting?”
Sebastian asked as he put an appropriate combination of steak, salad, and sauce into my mouth. Unlike me, who didn’t understand what he found interesting, Nakaban smirked.
“It was quite funny to see him explode because Schnieke kept pretending not to understand until the end.”
“He seemed to be in a very awkward position there.”
“In fact, he’s probably not very useful anymore.”
Sebastian and Nakaban giggled as they took turns badmouthing Layer. And soon they started talking about something else. It was mainly about setting up a meeting between arms dealer Sergei Leonov and Canaris’s ‘authorizer’. I half-listened and half-ignored that conversation while thinking about Layer.
Layer is useless.
Is Canaris taking care of such a useless Layer?
That can’t be. Canaris is definitely not that kind of group. They’re the kind of people who use their own people as switches to detonate bombs, so what reason would they have to protect the useless Layer?
If Layer was completely useless, Canaris would have disposed of him. But Canaris didn’t dispose of him. Or Canaris couldn’t dispose of Layer. Because…
Layer must have something that they can neither kill nor let go.
What could that be?
And if there are Canaris spies remaining in the Security Bureau, would they be in contact with Layer or not?
If I were Layer, that suspicious person, how would I communicate with the spy?
Suddenly, Rebecca Dagoba’s face flashed in my mind. Why did she become an executive of Canaris? Because her father is former minister Dagoba. Layer named his yacht ‘Lilith’. Is his daughter really not connected to all this at all?
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
