Chapter 127
“…I was instructed to provide guiding to Guide Lee Su-hyeon when the opportunity arose, but to keep it minimal so he wouldn’t recover easily. I was told that Lee Su-hyeon was a Dual awakened and different from regular awakened ones, and that doing it this way would prevent strain on his body. I followed the instructions without any suspicion.”
The name of the person who gave these instructions wasn’t mentioned, but both Choi Young-sun and I had likely already thought of the same person.
I felt complicated inside. I knew that Team Leader Kim Kwang-in harbored ill feelings toward me because I “stole” Song Ji-hyeok from Team 3, but it was extremely shocking to learn that in a high-level dungeon where even enemies form temporary alliances, he tried to harm me by using not only Jeon Hyeon-wook but also Choi Young-sun.
‘Didn’t he cherish his niece?’
Was this the team leader’s own way of caring for his niece? Was it so that Choi Young-sun could take my place if I died or encountered a serious problem?
I firmly shook my head.
No, this wasn’t for Choi Young-sun’s benefit. In the end, he had drawn his niece into a wrong path for his own ambition and gain. The proof was that Choi Young-sun was now apologizing to me with tears, unable to overcome her guilty conscience.
I’m not particularly broad-minded like the Pacific Ocean or inclined toward universal love, but I tend to try to get along with people rather than harbor hatred… yet for the first time, I nearly felt disillusioned with a person.
“But when I heard the news that Guide Lee Su-hyeon had collapsed that evening, I finally realized what I had done. I’ve been tormented by guilt ever since.”
“……”
“What my uncle said when persuading me actually made no sense… but at the time, I think I deliberately believed it blindly, blinding myself. Thinking that Song Ji-hyeok had been taken from me, I must have unconsciously harbored jealousy and resentment toward Guide Lee Su-hyeon. I’m truly… truly sorry.”
Unlike my earlier efforts to stop Choi Young-sun’s tears, this time I couldn’t readily open my mouth. Was I too dull or just foolish? I had never particularly done anything bad to others in my life, yet my heart was in turmoil at the fact that I had become the target of someone’s malice.
My mouth felt parched, but I no longer wanted to drink tea. After needlessly massaging my stiff neck once, I finally continued speaking.
“Is what you just talked about related to your resignation, Guide?”
“No, it’s not directly related. As you know, how much and to what extent a Guide provides guidance is a matter of conscience.”
“…I see.”
Choi Young-sun’s confession of conscience wasn’t over yet. Still keeping her gaze down, she hesitantly continued her story.
“You might not be interested in my personal affairs, but let me tell you a little. …When I was young, my father passed away, and my mother practically gave up on raising me. I guess she lacked both mental and physical capacity. In place of my mother, my maternal uncle provided a lot of help, and I followed everything he told me about important decisions like education and career paths, thinking it was all for my benefit.”
“……”
“I relied on him a lot… but this incident made me deeply reflect on my life for the first time, and I realized that I’ve lived almost entirely passively, hardly making any decisions on my own. So from now on, I want to pull myself together and think about how I should live. Leaving the guild and starting over from zero is the first step.”
The personal story Choi Young-sun shared was heavier than I expected, and somewhat shocking. I had thought she had only walked an easy path as a prominent A-class Guide with outstanding looks… It was a moment when the saying “appearances aren’t everything” truly resonated with me.
While I couldn’t fully understand all the wounds and pain she had experienced, having lived through my own ups and downs, I could well imagine how difficult things must be for her right now. And how much courage it must have taken to come see me today.
“I know that what I’ve done can’t be undone no matter what, but I wanted to sincerely ask for forgiveness before it’s too late. I’m truly sorry and grateful for everything.”
Choi Young-sun stood up abruptly and bowed deeply in apology. Her small and thin back, where the outline of bones showed even through her clothes, looked particularly pitiful.
But what I needed now wasn’t halfhearted sympathy or compassion. Nor had I developed a sense of superiority or arrogance. I simply wanted to sincerely accept her apology, which she had offered genuinely while revealing personal matters she might have wanted to keep hidden, because everyone can fall down and make mistakes.
I quickly stood up as well and took a step towards her.
“It’s okay, please raise your head.”
As Choi Young-sun slowly straightened her back, her eyes met mine properly for almost the first time today. Before our gazes could drift apart again, I smiled gently at her and extended my hand for a handshake. Instead of presumptuously saying “don’t leave” or “reconsider,” I decided to support the decision she had made with difficulty.
“Thank you for apologizing. Sincerely.”
“……”
“The Choi Young-sun Guide I know is always cool and confident, and I believe you always will be. If we happen to meet again someday, I’d like us to greet each other with a smile as close colleagues.”
As I awkwardly conveyed my sincere feelings after carefully choosing my words, I saw tears welling up in Choi Young-sun’s large eyes once again.
But this time, they didn’t flow down weakly. Belatedly taking my hand, she too responded to my final farewell with a smiling face.
“Yes. Let’s definitely do that.”
***
No one in this world can exist without a past. Not only good memories but also bad ones accumulate over time, and I too had quite a few incidents that caused me suffering during my life, which is long if you say it’s long and short if you say it’s short.
My way of dealing with such negative events was “this too shall pass.”
This too shall pass. If you live long enough, eventually there will be a day when sunlight reaches even a mouse hole.
In some ways, I might have brainwashed myself to survive, but looking back over the years, it was a much better approach than remaining trapped in bad memories. Because now, sunlight was finally pouring into the mouse hole in my heart.
About two months after successfully reawakening, in the still spacious and comfortable guiding room.
I was focusing on paperwork while snacking on small treats, but I checked the time once in a while. It was because of the message I had received from Song Ji-hyeok earlier.
[I think I’ll arrive around 5:10 PM]
After my successful reawakening, the guild showed a lot of consideration for Song Ji-hyeok and me. The core aspect was guiding. One day, the Vice Guild Master called both of us and said this while providing us with fancy refreshments:
‘After reawakening, it’s almost as if everything has been reset. So rather than attempting full guiding right away, how about proceeding step by step, starting with hand-holding or hugging for guiding, just like when you first awakened?’
In fact, I had already secured data related to this. In the materials that Gi-jun had handed over to me, risking the danger of confidential information leakage, it was documented that dual awakened individuals who successfully reawakened demonstrated their qualities as S-class Espers or S-class Guides immediately, without any difficulties or side effects.
So I told the Vice Guild Master exactly what I knew, but surprisingly, Song Ji-hyeok strongly agreed with the Vice Guild Master’s view. I could guess the reason without asking—it seemed that my being hospitalized twice in a short period had become a trauma for him. Since there’s no harm in being cautious, I also decided to follow along without much deliberation.
If that summons was consideration for me, the consideration for Song Ji-hyeok was evident in the process of being dispatched to dungeons. Although it would have been appropriate based on his Esper rank and salary to be sent only to tough dungeons, until the guiding normalized, he was assigned to dungeons expected to have shorter clearing periods. It was a result of adjusting to reduce the risk of Song Ji-hyeok overexerting himself and to ensure that the period he spent away from me wouldn’t be too long.
The team members naturally noticed this fact, but thankfully, not a single person expressed dissatisfaction or objected. Everyone understood our situation with a generous heart, and Gitae went even further by teasingly making fun of Song Ji-hyeok.
‘Ji-hyeok, aren’t you developing separation anxiety at this rate?’
‘I think I already have it.’
The person who chimed in with a giggle was Kim Young-joo. Thus, with the consideration and understanding of many people, Song Ji-hyeok and I were able to spend smooth and peaceful days, sailing with the wind. It was all thanks to successful guiding.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
