#78
“Which part do you like?”
He asked suddenly while Ha-min was in a daze.
“Huh…?”
“I asked which part of him you like.”
He moved closer, almost close enough for his crotch to touch Ha-min’s knees. The proximity was distracting, making it hard to understand the question’s intent.
“It’s not like that…”
“Does that bastard like you too?”
The harsh language snapped Ha-min back to reality.
“…It’s not like that.”
“Yeah, right. He freaks out whenever I touch you.”
“Hyung… stop it.”
He was being domineering. Ha-min tried to pull away, but their intertwined hands pulled him forward. He tried to break free, but couldn’t budge. Despite being the same gender, the difference in strength made Ha-min feel utterly powerless. He couldn’t win against him, neither physically nor emotionally. Ha-min spoke with a troubled voice.
“Hee-gyeom isn’t like that.”
Instead of answering, he stared intently at Ha-min. Even though he had approached casually, his eyes had been suppressing something explosive since they were at school.
“Hee-gyeom is just…”
“Hee-gyeom this, Hee-gyeom that.”
His voice came out gritted between his teeth. At the same time, the grip on Ha-min’s wrist tightened. The pain almost made Ha-min groan involuntarily. His hyung’s cold, stern face seemed unfamiliar.
“You’ll wear out his name.”
Ha-min bit his lip and fell silent. Their emotions were escalating. Not knowing what to do, Ha-min let out a short sigh. He hadn’t expected him to care this much.
He thought that ending their relationship because he found someone he liked would mean they could go back to greeting each other casually as hyung and dongsaeng like before. In his eyes, the other seemed more than capable of that. Being someone who never showed attachment to anything, Ha-min thought he would be the same with him.
Was it too sudden? Even for a purely physical relationship, did it need a grace period? Unable to sort out his complicated thoughts, Ha-min mumbled.
“Hyung… you’re misunderstanding.”
“Then who? Lee Tae-in?”
The sudden accusation left Ha-min aghast.
“What…!”
His voice came out in shock. But the other remained unperturbed. He had instantly painted Ha-min as someone who would shamelessly come between brothers, and didn’t seem to care. He leaned in closer, further narrowing the gap. Both of Ha-min’s hands were now caught by Tae-rim. It felt like shackles, preventing any movement.
“You said you like men.”
“…”
“It’s reasonable to suspect.”
He said with a brazen face. Unable to escape, Ha-min felt suffocated and his head throbbed.
The word ‘suspect’ felt strange. Had he done something to warrant suspicion? Wasn’t suspicion something that came from a relationship with more trust? Ha-min couldn’t understand at all. His confused eyes darted around.
“Why do I…”
His words came out broken.
“I don’t understand… why I should be suspected by you, hyung.”
His eyes, truly bewildered, stared at Tae-rim.
“You said you didn’t care…”
“…”
“You said you didn’t care who I slept with… who I liked…”
Tae-rim’s brow furrowed at Ha-min’s trembling gaze, as if to say ‘What are you talking about?’ But soon after, a snicker escaped his lips.
“Were you hurt by those words?”
Ha-min’s face, which had been wavering, suddenly hardened at these unexpected words. His casual tone seemed to reduce that emotional moment to mere disappointment. Ha-min’s body froze as if all thought had stopped.
“Is that why you suddenly said those things?”
He seemed to have grasped the situation in an instant, hitting the nail on the head. Ha-min tried his best to hide his expression, not wanting to show his surprise.
“N-no, that’s not it.”
“…”
“There really is… someone I really like.”
He tried to speak as calmly as possible, but his voice trembled slightly. A deep sigh was heard, followed by the ominous sound of grinding teeth.
“In just a week?”
He let go of both hands he had been holding. His voice was mixed with blatant mockery.
He abruptly stood up and irritably searched for a cigarette, putting one in his mouth. Without lighting it, he turned his gaze to Ha-min, who was sitting stiffly.
“It wasn’t long ago that you and I had sex.”
“…”
“Ha-min, you’re such a slut.”
He finally lit the cigarette.
“With that innocent face, you always fool me.”
There was a hint of self-deprecating laughter. He took two quick drags on the cigarette while standing, then stubbed out the long cigarette in the ashtray.
“Then you can give it to me one more time, right?”
He approached again and cupped Ha-min’s face, who was sitting there dumbfounded. In the dim light, his smiling lips and narrowed eyes looked dark. His usual smile seemed particularly vicious this time.
“Whatever Ha-min wants.”
“…”
“This will settle things between us.”
He concluded cleanly. Without any more lingering questions, he unbuckled his belt. The clinking of metal sent Ha-min’s heart racing madly. The pain felt like his heart was being viciously twisted. A mix of emotions including sorrow welled up, but he couldn’t say anything. After all, this ending was what he had wanted more than anyone. Swallowing his dry feelings, he lowered his head.
The sexual encounter continued until just before dawn. Throughout, his face was different from usual. He seemed violent, almost malicious. He thrust forcefully, as if venting his anger. When Ha-min tried to pull away from the roughness, he would penetrate even deeper. His aroused breathing was fiercer and more obscene than ever before.
Ha-min blinked his hazy eyes repeatedly. The sun was high in the sky. He stared blankly beyond the wall-to-ceiling windows, realizing he was naked in the other’s arms. The sleeping face looked so peaceful, unlike the person who had been so rough just hours ago.
Carefully removing the arm and getting out of bed, Ha-min finally breathed easily. It had been so heavy that he broke into a cold sweat just trying to get free, partly from the tension of trying not to wake him. As he stood up, every part of his body ached – his waist, his hips, even his muscles and joints.
The sex had been forceful, without even properly undressing. His shirt buttons were undone, hanging loosely on his body like rags. The bedding and floor were a mess.
The encounter that started in the living room took quite some time to reach the bedroom. He had abruptly laid Ha-min on the table, only removing his pants and underwear before roughly spreading his legs. Before Ha-min could even feel shame, he took out lube from the shelf and poured nearly half the bottle at once. When Ha-min tried to close his legs at the cold sensation, he clicked his tongue.
‘Spread your legs. Show me everything.’
The hotel lighting shone directly above. Ha-min didn’t have the audacity to spread his legs like a frog in such a place. After hesitating for a while, the other’s hands spread and held open Ha-min’s crotch. Ha-min’s reflection, naked from the waist down, was visible in the ceiling’s glass. He felt overwhelmed with shame, almost to the point of tears.
‘Other guys would love to see this.’
He sneered, looking at Ha-min’s exposed lower half, completely devoid of pubic hair.
‘I couldn’t stop thinking about it when I first saw it.’
He grinned maliciously as he moved his hips. Even as he said this, his brow was furrowed. Highly aroused, he seemed angry about something.
The penetration that continued until dawn made Ha-min acutely aware of how much the other had been holding back before. Even when Ha-min briefly lost consciousness and woke up, the other was still moving on top of him.
Noticing Ha-min had woken up, he smiled gently and lightly bit and sucked on his earlobe. Then he thrust so hard it felt like Ha-min’s flesh would bruise. Involuntary tears and uncontrollable moans escaped him, sounding unbelievably lewd.
The encounter that began on the living room table continued on the sofa and even as they moved to the bedroom. After ejaculating inside Ha-min countless times and thrusting innumerably, he tormented Ha-min with terrifying words like “Ha-min’s hole won’t close.” Despite being so forceful, the kisses he placed all over Ha-min’s body were incredibly affectionate.
When Ha-min’s head kept hitting the headboard, he instinctively cushioned it with his hand. When Ha-min finally burst into tears from the overwhelming sensations, caught between pain and pleasure, he kissed Ha-min’s eyelids and forehead soothingly, as if to comfort him. These contradictory actions left Ha-min even more confused. He wished the other had just been violent, continuously inflicting wounds so he could leave without any lingering attachment.
As soon as Ha-min stood up, he blushed at the constant flow of liquid between his buttocks. He quickly cleaned up in the bathroom, but it kept trickling out a little even after he tried to remove it. Unable to waste more time, Ha-min hurriedly washed, got dressed, and immediately checked his phone. A flood of missed notifications poured in.
