#51
The gray smoke he exhaled rose into the air and disappeared cleanly as if it had never existed. Ha-min stared blankly at the vanishing smoke with dazed eyes. Perhaps because he had unexpectedly encountered him in an unexpected place, he found himself absently following the cigarette smoke. Whether it was because it was difficult to look at his face or because he was flustered, he couldn’t tell the reason.
“That’s good then,” he replied briefly, discarding the half-smoked cigarette.
Startled by his sudden appearance, Ha-min barely managed to find words.
“But why are you here…”
This was all Ha-min could say. He unconsciously hesitated in his steps. He worried first about whether the other had seen his limping gait.
“…”
Tae-rim silently looked him over. Ha-min lowered his head, not wanting to show his shabby face. Because it was dark and he was wearing a cap backwards, it probably wasn’t very visible. Tae-rim only opened his mouth quietly after finishing his cigarette.
“I heard you were sick.”
His low voice was, as always, similar to the dawn air – cold and cool, but not entirely unpleasant.
“Ah…”
Suddenly realizing that this fact had reached his ears, Ha-min awkwardly rubbed his face.
“…I’m better now.”
Ha-min answered quietly and monotonously. It was true. The persistent ache in his stomach and the feverish feeling in his body had improved a lot. It seemed that sleeping all day had been effective. Tae-rim stared intently at Ha-min with an expressionless face in response to his somewhat brave words.
Again. That nonchalant face. That calm face that always caught Tae-rim’s eye. Ignoring the tension unconsciously building in his jaw, Tae-rim spoke calmly.
“…That’s good.”
He continued in a voice devoid of laughter. After his brief answer, he pointed with his chin at the black bag Ha-min was holding.
“What’s that?”
At the quiet question, Ha-min awkwardly smiled and slowly hid what he was holding behind his back.
“Oh, …just something for dinner.”
It was past 10 PM. Tae-rim’s face subtly cracked, seemingly displeased that Ha-min was calling the contents of a plastic bag that didn’t seem to contain much his dinner at this hour.
Tae-rim had been irritated since that morning. From Ha-min trying to leave as soon as he woke up, to his quiet stubbornness about never asking him for help. He was drawing a firm line, not allowing any chance to be treated well. He had even disappeared for over a day, and was like this without giving any hint that he was sick. He had made Tae-rim call and interrogate someone he didn’t even know.
When he heard that Ha-min couldn’t even go to school because he was sick, he couldn’t help but swear. How sick must he be to miss classes? Only then did Tae-rim understand Tae-in’s words. The statement that Ha-min was very different from before came to mind amid the chaos.
The innocent Song Ha-min from childhood was certainly different from now. Not only was his reckless innocence gone, but he was also strangely secretive beyond just not being bright and cheerful anymore. He wrapped himself up tightly and was wary of everything.
He didn’t answer phone calls, didn’t respond to knocks on his gosiwon room door. And while waiting vaguely, seeing him walking side by side with a female classmate was quite… Tae-rim swallowed the laughter that was about to burst out involuntarily. Fortunately, it seemed the blockhead’s love life was going well. Just a few days ago, he had been taking Tae-rim’s so eagerly.
He was always a guy who defied expectations.
“…”
Tae-rim silently opened the passenger door and took out an elegant paper bag.
He needed to know where it hurt to buy medicine. Inside the paper bag were various types of porridge and medicine cases sorted by type. However, it was a useless act. Seeing him walk with a limp, he realized exactly where it hurt.
Shit… He should’ve known from having sex with a guy. He hadn’t thought the aftereffects would be this severe. Tae-rim roughly ran his hand through his bangs with an irritated expression.
“What is this…?”
Ha-min looked at the paper bag handed to him with cautious eyes and asked curiously.
“Take it.”
Tae-rim said without further explanation, displaying his public smile and getting straight to the point. As he spoke, his obvious gaze followed Ha-min’s chapped lips. They were dry and cracked with beads of blood forming. Tae-rim himself was unaware of how persistently his gaze was drawn there.
After checking the contents, Ha-min muttered a small “Ah…” and made a foolish expression. It was the same face as always. The face that became flustered when Tae-rim showed kindness or offered affection. The appearance of being awkward and apologetic even for trivial things. Even knowing that he didn’t act this way only towards him, it was still irritating.
“Um… th-thank you.”
His face, though uncomfortable, showed genuine gratitude that was naive to the point of being simple. Thank you, he says. Thanking the very person who had hurt him so badly. Looking at his face, despite clearly having been very ill, he was sincerely grateful for just a few portions of porridge and some medicine.
“Ha-min.”
Putting aside the emotions gnawing at his insides like swarming insects, Tae-rim calmly opened his mouth.
“Even so.”
“…”
“I think you could at least tell hyung when you’re sick.”
Though his voice was gentle, there was something suppressed in it. He smiled faintly, but Ha-min, realizing it was an artificial smile, nodded slightly without insisting further.
“I just… didn’t want to worry you.”
“…”
“I’m really fine now.”
What is it that’s always so fine?
Tae-rim’s faint smile disappeared at Ha-min’s calm words.
Then Ha-min tried to smile nonchalantly in an old-fashioned way.
“Just in case you’re wondering…”
“…”
“It’s not because of you, hyung. I’ve been feeling under the weather for a while now. So…”
Seeing him bring porridge and medicine, Ha-min made excuses, worried that he might feel guilty.
“So you don’t need to worry. …I, I enjoyed it too that time…”
His desperate attempt to bravely bring up what happened that day seemed pitiful.
“…”
Tae-rim quietly stared at Ha-min with a thoughtful face before opening his neat lips.
“I see.”
“…”
“Hyung enjoyed it too.”
More than enjoyed, it was incredible. He hadn’t known a man’s hole could grip his cock so tightly. He could almost understand the words of that vulgar guy covered in tattoos who had suggested sharing a man.
Tae-rim hid his crude thoughts and yielded to Ha-min’s desperate words. He didn’t want to press the issue when Ha-min was making excuses with such a pained face. If that was his way, he could go along with it sufficiently.
“Thank you for this… I’ll eat it well.”
While he had become pale at the expensive gift carefully chosen and given, his sickly face brightened at these insignificant items, truly grateful. What’s so good about that… Tae-rim swallowed the sigh rising in his throat and continued in a low voice.
“Alright. Go inside now.”
The coat Ha-min was wearing looked thin. Although the weather had become quite warm, it was still cool in the middle of the night. At the concerned words, Ha-min obediently nodded.
“Okay.”
“…”
“…You be careful going home too, hyung.”
His bright smile as he left those kind parting words was radiant.
Tae-rim’s calm eyes narrowed slightly at Ha-min’s unconscious smile. It was a face he couldn’t understand at all. Smiling like that for something so insignificant. He had detested allowance and expensive gifts, but what was so special about this that cost barely anything?
Tae-rim swallowed the emotions he couldn’t understand and gave a faint smile without any particular response. Then he watched intently as Ha-min’s back disappeared into the building.
His gait, straining to appear fine, caught Tae-rim’s eye. To think he was still in that state even after being thoroughly loosened up. Tae-rim ran his hand through his hair with an irritated expression. Fine, my ass… He clicked his tongue silently and got into the driver’s seat. He started the engine only after confirming that the light in the room had turned on.
Though he had started the engine, he remained parked there for a long time.
**
“Wow, hyung. Can your face become half its size just from being sick for a day?”
As they were settling into their seats at the bustling meat restaurant, Woo-kyung asked with an astonished face. Embarrassed by the unusual reaction, Ha-min awkwardly touched his own face.
“Damn, could I lose that much weight if I got sick for a day too?”
Woo-kyung asked Chae-rin and Eun-soo, deliberately sucking in his cheeks, seemingly fascinated by this fact. In response, Chae-rin roughly pushed away Woo-kyung’s face that he had thrust forward.
“It’s annoying, don’t shove it in my face.”
Woo-kyung pouted at the cold response, typical of her.
Arriving at the venue in time for the department gathering, the place was already bustling. The first round was at a meat restaurant, the second at a bar. The route seemed to be all planned out. Ha-min, taking his seat with the others as usual, looked around at the drinking party he hadn’t attended in a while. The noisy gathering felt unfamiliar after so long.
“Oppa, you need to properly nourish yourself today. Let’s eat beef, it’s imported but still beef,” Eun-soo said ambitiously with a determined face as she set utensils and water in front of the gaunt-looking Ha-min.
“That’s right. When I saw you yesterday, you were just eating one convenience store porridge,” Chae-rin, who had met him at the convenience store, chimed in.
