#55
When asked if this was his first time experiencing such a thing, Ha-min thought deeply for a moment before nodding slightly.
“…Yeah.”
Tae-rim’s eyes narrowed at the hesitant answer. His face showed that he didn’t quite believe it. But as always, he didn’t press further.
“Let me see your hand.”
Instead of questioning, Tae-rim switched to concern. When he reached out with the hand not holding the steering wheel, Ha-min rolled his clear eyes before quietly placing his hand on Tae-rim’s. The sudden trip had caused quite a severe injury to his palm. Tae-rim’s brow furrowed at the wound, which had already started to scab over.
“That must hurt.”
As Tae-rim spoke with a worried voice, Ha-min shook his head.
“This much doesn’t really hurt.”
His face was bright, insisting it was really fine. Tae-rim smiled as he gently stroked the back of Ha-min’s hand resting on his.
“That’s a relief.”
This much, doesn’t hurt. He felt an inexplicable anger rising but swallowed it down again and again. To hide his chilled expression, he kept his eyes straight ahead as he turned the steering wheel in the opposite direction from where they had been heading. Their destination was not Ha-min’s goshiwon room. It didn’t take long for Ha-min to notice this.
**
“Make yourself comfortable.”
In the hotel room he was brought to for the second time, Ha-min paced around, unable to sit down, with a confused look on his face. Despite Tae-rim’s calm words, he couldn’t easily sit down and looked at him with an uncomfortable expression.
“…Hyung.”
The hotel where he was staying had separate living room, kitchen, and bedroom areas. It was set up like a complete living space, and he was in the kitchen area, gulping down cold water from the refrigerator. Ha-min called out to him cautiously from the hallway connected to the kitchen.
Tae-rim, in the middle of drinking water, threw a glance instead of answering.
“Today, I…”
“…”
“It’s difficult for me…”
Seeing Ha-min express his thoughts with a red face, Tae-rim let out a deflated sigh. Ha-min’s face showed he was very flustered, perhaps thinking the reason he was brought to the hotel was for that kind of thing. Instead of answering, Tae-rim looked for something near the living room shelf. Carrying an opaque plastic container, Tae-rim naturally seated Ha-min on the sofa.
Finding himself seated on the sofa without realizing it, Ha-min looked at him with a puzzled expression. He sat down next to Ha-min with a calm face.
“Your hand.”
He held out his hand to Ha-min, making a request. Ha-min blinked with a confused look before carefully extending his hand. He took out ointment and disinfectant from the plastic container. Finally understanding the situation, Ha-min’s puzzled expression cleared, replaced by an embarrassed look.
“It’s, it’s fine…”
Ha-min mumbled softly at the sight of him going so far as to treat the wound.
“Ha-min did it for hyung too.”
“…”
“Hyung doesn’t want scars on Ha-min’s hands either.”
He smiled gently as he opened the ointment cap. He applied the medicine to a cotton swab and carefully dabbed it on the wound. The motion of spreading it evenly was both awkward and skillful. Ha-min’s view was filled with his beautiful face as he concentrated. It felt strange to see those usually indifferent or affectionate eyes so focused on something. Seeing him pouring all his attention into just one of his wounds made Ha-min’s heart flutter.
“Does it sting?”
He asked with a concerned look after applying all the medicine. Ha-min, who had been stealing glances at him, shook his head vigorously with a reddened face. It didn’t sting at all. If he had his way, wounds like this would be no different from having disappeared completely.
As Ha-min shook his head repeatedly, he chuckled and brought both of Ha-min’s hands to his mouth.
“Hoo-”
Ha-min froze at the sight of him blowing on his hands with his red lips. At that moment, his heart felt like it would burst from ticklishness. And for some reason, he felt like crying. In his life, there were times he wanted to die, but rarely times he wanted to cry. Even after being beaten for three years, even living in cowardly hiding, he didn’t cry. Even when cursed at to drop dead or die, he endured without crying. That was his only form of resistance. It was his only weapon to endure in the face of ruthless violence. It was also why he was bullied even more. They said he was tough for a pig who kept getting beaten.
Ha-min lowered his gaze to hold back the heat rising in his eyes. He didn’t want to show such an unsightly appearance in front of hyung.
“Ha-min.”
He called out to him gently. Ha-min couldn’t easily raise his head.
“Did it hurt?”
He asked again. But Ha-min couldn’t answer.
“It must have hurt.”
Again, Ha-min couldn’t answer his kind words.
Right now, it was difficult to lie.
**
Ha-min gazed at him sleeping quietly with clear eyes. As always when they slept together, Ha-min would wake up first, and today was no exception. Last night, after treating even the wounds on his legs, he quietly laid Ha-min down on the bed and patted him. He fell asleep after patting Ha-min, who was just holding back tears without saying anything, for a long time.
He didn’t force any awkward words of comfort on Ha-min, who was struggling to hold back tears. As if understanding all his sorrowful feelings, he just called out “Ha-min” gently and hugged him.
Ha-min carefully brushed back his disheveled hair. He wanted to see his finely crafted face more clearly. Suddenly, he noticed the band-aid stuck to his palm. The neatly attached shape was tidy and clean. Even the way it was applied reminded him of hyung.
Something in his heart rippled like waves. He was feeling overwhelmed by his kindness. Usually, he would have thought only of getting up hurriedly to escape, but today he wanted to look at him a little longer.
“Pretty…”
He was handsome, but the word ‘pretty’ suited him so well too. His eyes, his nose bridge, his lips, even the mole under his eye were elegant and beautiful. Sometimes that face was even awe-inspiring.
“How pretty?”
It was a quiet murmur like a breath, but he, who Ha-min thought was asleep, casually responded. Ha-min’s hand, which had been carefully stroking his bangs, flinched in surprise. The closed eyes opened gently. The achromatic black pupils were vivid.
“I asked how pretty.”
He demanded an answer from Ha-min, who was at a loss for words. His gaze, fixed directly on Ha-min, was blatant. Ha-min blinked blankly and asked.
“You were awake?”
“Quickly.”
He kept demanding an answer. Looking at Ha-min like an expectant child. Ha-min, unable to meet that gaze, mumbled softly.
“Ve, very…”
Embarrassed at having his inner thoughts exposed, Ha-min hesitantly opened his mouth, unable to avoid the blatant gaze.
“So you really are meeting me for my face.”
At the playful words, Ha-min shook his head vigorously, saying no. With that sound, Ha-min, his face red, was at a loss for what to do, embarrassed.
“How’s the wound?”
He raised himself slightly to check Ha-min’s hand first.
“It’s fine.”
“Let’s wash and apply medicine again.”
He acted kindly as always, as if he had never been harsh. Not disliking such consideration and attention, Ha-min nodded with a reddened face.
“Yeah, thanks.”
“Just with words?”
Ha-min, who had been smiling like a child, opened his eyes wide at his retort.
“Then…”
What should I do?
As Ha-min asked quizzically, he smiled mischievously once more. Then he pointed to his cheek. Ha-min’s thick eyelashes blinked rapidly.
“Huh…?”
“Quickly.”
“Um… that…”
“You don’t want to?”
“It’s, it’s not that I don’t want to…”
This time, Ha-min’s face turned burning red. He was flustered, too embarrassed by the reward he wanted. But he replied, unconcerned.
“Then do it.”
“…”
“You said thanks, you should do at least this much.”
He smiled charmingly. It was more than charming, it was seductive. His face, eyes closed again waiting, was like a sculpture. Ha-min rolled his eyes hard, contemplating. In fact, a simple kiss was nothing special. Hadn’t they already done everything together? It was a matter where Ha-min could be as brazen as Tae-rim, who was shamelessly demanding a kiss.
And just for today, he felt the urge to do everything Tae-rim asked. Ha-min closed his eyes tightly with a grave expression. He slightly pressed on the bed, raised his head, and quickly brought his lips to his cheek. Then he heard a small laugh, and felt a softer, fleshier touch than the smooth cheek.
Chu, in less than a second, the place where his lips touched wasn’t his cheek but his lips. At the softer, warmer sensation, Ha-min narrowed his eyes slightly to see Tae-rim’s straight lips right in front of him.
Feeling tricked and indignant, Ha-min’s eyes met Tae-rim’s pleased expression as he smiled.
“Feel cheated?”
He smiled faintly as he wrapped his arm around Ha-min’s waist and pulled him on top. Their bodies overlapped, faces right in front of each other, feeling inappropriate.
“You said to do it on the cheek…”
As Ha-min protested weakly, he laughed again.
“If I asked for the lips, you wouldn’t have done it, right?”
He was right. Ha-min wanted to avoid his brazen gaze with his reddened face, but their overlapped bodies were pressed so close there was nowhere to escape.
“After doing everything, you’re shy about one kiss?”
“The lips are… a, a kiss…”
His voice trembled as if scared. Pfft, he chuckled as he slightly raised his head and cupped Ha-min’s cheek. He naturally reversed their positions and pressed their lips together. His moist tongue entered first between the joined lips.
Ha-min grasped his shoulders in surprise at the sudden intrusion. His eyes remained wide open in shock. He looked down at Ha-min with narrowed eyes as he tilted his head slightly and pushed his tongue in deeper.
